Why do I get so over eager, I'm such a perpetual people pleaser, even to my own detriment, some people are like angels heaven sent, and my intensity scares them away, I'm getting older becoming more scared and afraid, i may never find true love, music may not be in my cards or a part of the divine higher plan from up above, but then I don't understand the purpose of my life, i can't take all this heartache pain and strife, it's too much for one person to handle, I'm becoming unhinged and dismantled, my poor suffocating soul, feel like just packing my bags cuz im ready to go, after Pride head back to Cali, i think RI has had it with me, it doesn't provide a steady stream of opportunity for me to flourish, doing what I do takes talent persistence and a shit ton of courage, repeatedly putting myself out there, sometimes for nothing more than applause a blunt or a beer, but at a certain point, I need to make that coin, shouldn't have to work at a dead end unfulfilling job tho, I refuse to believe the meaning of existence is making the most dough, the idea of retirement has grown old and obsolete, a capitalistic society will eventually self destruct and implode over greed, please wake up and pay attention i beg and plead, it aint easy being happy cuz when money matters u can never truly be free!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/4/15
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