Not Chozen

U said I'll always be there for u, that is until it's time to choose, which is when I loose, so lost and confused, emotionally abused, both my heart and soul are contused, why am I not Chozen or the one picked, how do u stand  having ur ass kicked, repeatedly, until I give up defeatedly, at a certain point, without any clout or coin, i will just move on, instead of submissive I'll transform to dom, perhaps I don't deserve love, shouldn't success be enough, ur too greedy, publically needy, another dirty lil secret, and writing about this shit won't keep it, so then what's my choice, do I suck it up and censor my voice, stay quiet and hidden, stick with sarcastic kidding, act like what we have doesn't exist, wish I knew I was gay back when we were kids, seems I missed most of my opportunity, the odds of finding true love at this point seem puny, can't muni take me straight to an early grave, I feel like god will spitefully strike me down if I don't behave, gotta learn to better ride the waves, stop worrying so much live for the moment and focus on today!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/30/15

Good Day & Good Luck

I'm so sick and tired of trying to find myself, I desperately need professional help, I'm going fricken crazy, if I hear one more person thinks I'm lazy, I'm just gonna blow my damn brains out, feel like my heart's got gout, I know who I am and what I want ya'll just don't think I deserve it, apparently I haven't earned shit, I just can't do enough, constantly defending my choice of pursuing music over love, I mean I'm 33 and still single, imagine being surrounded by unavailable couples who secretly mingle, except when it comes to me, I must be retched ratchet disgusting or straight up fucking ugly, I'm like Dory but instead of swimming I say just keep smiling, they're not really perfect or happy they're faking and lying, I've heard it from the horse's mouth, I have no more strength to verbally bout, I'm finally throwing in the towel and giving up, wish ya'll nothing but the best good day and good luck!

 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/30/15

Outta My Damn Mind

Always get into trouble when writing about certain people, words can work such wonders but can also reek havoc and be evil, I'm far from perfect in fact I'm beautifully flawed, I don't see sex or relationships as a sport, we make up our own limitations and rules, communication tho is the key or the vital tool, it's hard not feeling like sloppy seconds, never the groom always just best friends, and what's so bad about that, don't worry about the love I lack, I've got it in abundance and plenty, I'm not flirting with u it's called being sociable and friendly, at the end of the day I choose music, fortune and fame's a lonely road with a lot of haters so I better get used to it, perhaps this was yet another unwanted sign, it's about that time to finally leave the past behind, get on my grind, and hopefully I'll find an opportunity or my chance to shine, like the bright light/star I was meant to be, I know hip hop and poetry are my destiny, and before u know it u'll have moved on and forgotten all about me, maybe then u'll sleep more soundly, I can't even begin to decide how on earth to say goodbye, it's like the memories of lost loved ones who've died, I'd rather let them eventually fade away cuz after all out of sight means out of mind!

 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/30/15

It's All Out Of Love

Super grateful for the harsh truth and raw honesty I've gotten over the past couple of years, at times it's been tough to take but I've conquered and faced a lot of obstacles and fears, this damn reflection in the mirror, has got me looking colder and older over seeing things realer or clearer, everything I've been thru has made me stronger and the resilient man that I am, that being said I struggle tremendously emotionally holding on as long as I can, hide the pain away behind a bright white fake smile, we're guilty til proven innocent there's no speedy fair jury trial, I feel completely depleated defeated and broken, I wanna crawl back into bed and not stop toking, til my mind goes so hazy lazy and foggy maybe I won't excessively keep overthinking and analyzing, I really can't stand faking it til u make it trying minimizing lying, the happiness u reap will be just as superficial hypocritical and shallow, why is the majority so short sighted one dimensional and narrow, lord give me the strength courage and patience to make my own life choices with conviction and stick to them, or how about u give me a primary partner instead of a kinky semi platonic non mutual best friend, seems he reaps all the benefits gets his smorgasbord of cakes and can eat them too, I'm just the naïve gullible heart-broken sleeping alone fool, I've never had to shield protect and defend myself as much as I've had to being back here in lil Rhodey, I know most of u only know and see me as just Joe or to a rare few Joey, I wish tho sometimes instead of ur overly critical sarcasm ud simply shut up and give me a hug, ya'll challenge the shit outta me but I know it comes from a good place...it's all out of love!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/30/15

Way Off Balance & Unhappy

What if in this life I don't make it big, will I be ok learn to live and be happy with it, I feel like that's a lot to ask, I know that's an argument I'd rather not rehash, I'm really struggling with my purpose, why do we perpetuate bad behavior that only hurts us, I'm such a masochist, a democratic socialist/passifist, come on now my signature is peace and one love, I'm all about weed and hugs, i chose money over monogamy, but how do I stop jealousy and envy from bothering me, everybody seems to be moving ahead forward while I stand still, no matter what I seem to come across spoiled privileged and unfulfilled, perhaps I'm too needy, unbelievably selfish and greedy, maybe I really have no talent, and what I thought was close to equilibrium was way off balance, obviously I don't know myself well, is it time to revisit some professional help, I think the best remedy for me is simply friendship and fair equitable distribution of wealth!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/29/15

Is Love A Kid's Myth

Life ain't fair and I can't get over it, why don't I just let go of shit, perhaps in wanting it all I get nothing, maybe my behavior is what's been disgusting, presumptuously tearing others down out of jealousy and spite, blaming everybody else for my plight isn't right, makes me look like a self absorbed ass, but I have respectfully and nicely asked, scratched ur back, without anything in return, how many times have i been burned, i just want opportunity and support when's it my turn, at what point have i proven and earned, my place in the ranks among the elite, please lord I need relief from all this grief, am I meant to be coupled, or the single third wheel who causes promiscuous trouble, never in a relationship of my own, will I ever recapture that euphoric mirage-like feeling called home, which is where the heart is, perhaps similar to Santa Jesus and other fairy fable tale myths, or the old school cereal called Trix...they're just for kids!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/29/15

Alrighty Then

Glitter glitter everywhere, in the village the lil people have no worries cares or fear, wish we could be like Mary Poppins and jump in there, I've got plenty of imagination to go around, some say too intense verbose and profound, I wanna be world renowned, like Mariah have more # 1s than we can seem to remember/count, and of course here comes negative Nancy, who cares if I play pretend I'm all classy grand and fancy, like Barbara Streisand sings "don't rain on my parade", stop being faggoty girly and gay, just cuz shit isn't going ur way, I was up last night way late, trying to perfect each piece finding their place, please don't come in and destroy my vibe, kill our good hood time, everyone in the ghetto smokes, go ahead and make some more jokes, of course ya'll a bunch of comedians, exploitive capitalistic soulless vultures aka greedy men, another selfish member of the white one percent, as Ace Ventura would say..."alrighty then"!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/29/15

Seems So Unnatural

How are u functioning without any sleep, that can't be healthy surviving on espresso and coffee, bitch u crazy, whoops a daisy, it's like forgetting to eat, until u stop and wonder why ur so grumpy, oh that's alright, I'll have a cigarette and pack the pipe, apparently ur a night owl, a harsher critic than Simon Cowell, but brutal honesty, is as rare as genuine modesty, chivalry is as dead as hip hop, I could never pop and lock, I'm so not a dancer, hope Alzheimers isn't as hereditary as cancer, if so I'm scared of being alone, waking up everyday not knowing I live at an old folks home, no idea of who I am, who's my real friends and fam, verses nurses doctors and hospital staff, i try to put on a brave mask, but it's a very scary thought, I need at least a cohort, otherwise I'm screwed, there is some good news, I won't have to worry about bills or food, in fact I probably will forget even how to tie my own shoes, tell the difference between water and booze, maybe homosexuality is a characteristic I can choose to loose, perhaps luck is like a giant metaphorical game of duck duck goose, wish the universe and I could call a truce, tho I don't think life or love is harder cuz i like dudes, like the Indians persecuted before the jews, ISIS Republicans and Russians are anti gay too, hatred prejudice and discrimination are phenomena that actually just naturally ensues!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/29/15

Lots Of Lust & Guts

Here let me rub ur feet, it'll help lull u to sleep, lay back and relax, or put ur head in my lap, I just wanna please u, cuddle and tease too, get all hot horny and bothered, maybe tied spreadeagle gagged and collared, like a good kinky piggy or pup, duct tape fixes everything and'll shut em up, oh the crazy dirty things we do for the people we love, intimacy is awesome but nothing like a raunchy steamy hard core raw fuck, sorry my dick got a lil bit carried away, damn man ur a constant reminder I'm gay, u make my member start to jump twitch and chub, with the friction of ur touch or a healing hug, i turn to guck and mush, lost in the insanity of lust, guess I've been a stupid shmuch, but now with u in my life I've finally found some luck, cuz of u each and every day doesn't suck so much, u might say I'm both love and star struck, following passion and faith takes guts, I do believe dreams can come true, but that's only because I magically met u!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/29/15

Could Never Get Enough Of

I often ponder how I'm perceived by other people, will I succumb to the numb or the forces of evil, feel like Harry Potter, refuse to become ignorant dumb or food to feed the drama/fodder, leave me be, respect my privacy, look what media did to princess Di, shit paparazzi are the reason she died, and the whole globe weeped and cried, the nice guy who's a bit bashful and shy, winds up finishing last every single time, wonder if here in hell being a good persons actually subliminally a crime, they embed capitalistic consumerism in our subconsciouses and minds, i find if it's meant to be the universe will make magic happen and it aligns, ask and u shall receive but will u see the signs, when the bell tolls and chimes, finally lift ur head in relief from that 9 to 9 soulsucking grind, go home to ur love, chillax and put ur stinky feet up, yes I'll give u a bomb ass happy ending massage/rub, then we can smoke and get grub, fuck then cuddle and snuggle in bed and hug, giggle a little as I try to fall asleep between u snoring and the pup...my 2 love bug lugs...I could never get enough of!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/27/15

Cum Cuddle

I can cum and cuddle with anyone and shouldn't be judged, it's not like I have monogamous love, don't hate the player hate the game, no more sex regrets or shame, i know what I want and like, I'm aggressive unafraid to chase a lil or fight, if it feels right, u can't recapture memories and moments twice, don't worry so much about the price of life, there will inevitably be tragedy atrocity plight and strife, i want a Grammy way more than a wife, but not at the expense of having friends and family, I know not everyone can stand tolerate and/or handle me, what can I say I'm a needy people person, even rich or in retirement I'll still be working, writing tons of poems and songs, taking rips from spliffs blunts bowls and bongs, surrounded by beautiful babes in g-strings jockstraps and thongs, driving by big rigs I signal out the window to try and get them to blow their horns, hard to tell if ur god or the devil's spawn, u are defined by how u treat others uve now been forewarned, keep ur head up like Pac said cuz together we can weather any storm, hugging and snuggling are the absolute best, let's all unite to have one giant international cuddle fest!
Peace and 1,
JC
11/26/15

Ain't Too Proud To Beg

Do u ever feel like an imposition, are u even paying attention or listening, always seem to be in the way, don't fit in with other stereotypical gays, people pressume I'm straight, implies I may have a lonely fate, I get hit on more by girls than guys, can't help but wonder why, what can I do to change the way others see me, I'd love fortune and fame but i'm not vein or greedy, I just know I'm talented and have value, I work as a paralegal cuz financially I have to, not really tho that's what they want u to think, robotic slaves can't do anything, unless their master maker says so, letting ur emotions fester and grow, without letting go, will eventually make u blow or explode, it's ok to cry, especially if a loved one dies, that doesn't make u weak, use ur brain before u speak, sometimes u have to trust and leap, the bigger the risk the more reward u reap, happiness ain't cheap, stop being a predatory creep, if u can't read don't expect to become a member of the elite, knowledge is power, should never run away hide or cower, u gotta learn to stick up for yourself, it's so stupid and mysoginistic to be too proud to beg or ask for help!

 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/25/15

Life Lust & Love

Life is definitely an interesting ride, can be a love/hate relationship at times, I know I can be a bit much with my rhymes, but they are all mine, no one could ever replace, this smile or this face, regrets are the only real waste, perhaps I've got an addicting taste, fuck virginity and staying chaste, let lust flow, another fag for a blow and go, in the bathroom stall of the local watering or glory hole, what is ur ultimate purpose or goal, how much are ur heart and soul worth, is size more important than girth, take off ur pants and shirt, notice I didn't say skirt, yes femme and trans phobia lurks, but preference isn't discrimination, ya'll being divided and conquered by ignorance fear and ur own self loathing and hating, I'm done sitting silent and waiting, for some asshole to blow us all up, this holiday season I'm just thankful for my friends fans and fam who continue to show me love, so keep on keeping on moving forward and living, be kind to others and have a wonderfully happy Thanksgiving!

Peace and 1,

JC

11/25/15

WARNING

How do I let go of jealousy, get people to listen to my words instead of the melody, I know my beats are great, that's why I picked em mate, u can't help who u love, when do u chase or give up, I don't have the strength to ask again, stop overextending friends, some are just meant to be fans, why won't u follow thru with plans, alone is so boring, does ur partner know about ur whoring, ur obnoxious snoring, u should come with a warning, let's see how long I can remain silent, which drives me crazy with thoughts of violence, I hate the stupid quiet game, always the third wheel which is lame, maybe it's another test, moving on and leaving's perhaps for the best, I mean really, RI is stifling suffocating and killing me, I need to be breathe and express myself, I am not my parents or their wealth, please for the sake of my mental health, wake up get off ur ass and actually help!
 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/24/15

What Do U Do

Yesterday I was all about that dick, i know I'm aggressive stubborn and thick, especially when it comes to being antagonistic, I'm here to maintain balance I think, please don't let consciousness go extinct, humanity is at a crossroads/brink, something big is gonna happen, won't see the wealthy rich 1% laughing, it's time for we the people to take action, the world's compassion is completely lacking, perhaps it's too much for me to be asking, the whole globe is cracking, falling apart at the seems, we've lost our groovy steam, shouldn't ever give up on ur dreams, like or share my music and poetry more than my pics and memes, i need all ur help love and support, desperately seeking a gbf or cohort, who turns friendship into a sport, will play pretend fantasyland or build a fort, by my side to slay and thwart, evil discrimination hatred pimples or warts, I'd never judge or make fun of u, cuz i try to always live by the golden rule, i may not be popular or cool, but I at least follow thru, continue to fight for equality and truth, tell me tho...what do u do?!?

Peace and 1,
JC
11/24/15

Tolerance Vs. Acceptance

I got u on my mind, as made obvious by my rhymes, I'm guessing ya'll are smart enough to read between the lines, how do I break out these confines, trapped in a box, men are ruled by their cocks, while I'm so overemotional, love lost leaves me totaled, completely destroyed and ruined, could give two fucks what everybody else is doing, i'm concentrating and focused on me, this can't be my destiny's enui, why do i fight so hard, wish instead of shin we had heart guards, honestly I can't take much more, what is all this pain for, I know they say we don't get what we can't handle, but I feel unequipped and almost dismantled, i've lost my confidence and strength, seems I'm always bent, cuz living life sober, makes me wanna close my eyes until it's all over, to wake and face yet another day, is like asking a gay to have faith and pray, what is the mutha fucking point, it just gets me even more annoyed, I've really haddit, feel like I'm a low level scum/faggot, how do I find the courage to perservere, when I'm only tolerated instead of fully accepted for being queer?!
 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/23/15

Spoofing An Illusion

Are u real or just another illusion, my heart can't take anymore confusion contusions or bruising, ur sensuality is simply oozing, ur energy is calming and soothing, but I don't want to get caught up in ur love, u give such wonderful revitalizing hugs, but enough is enough, keeping u at bay is tough, feelings aren't easily controled, sick of assholes sucking dry my soul, why don't u go home, leave me be bored and alone, cuz im done with unavailable people, I thought money was the root of all evil, apparently tho I was mistaken, nothing worse than friendship faking, seems that at the end of the day, we can't be in a platonic relationship if we're both gay, just doesn't work that way, still I hope and pray, eventually someone will want me all to themselves, holds my hand and always there to help, wicked sick and utterly tired, of the incessant flakes and liars, I'm about to hibernate forever, but then I dream of u and I together, waking up to remember, I'm the only one jerking off my member, cuddling with a body pillow, probably more rejected than Willow, can't stand this superficial world, gay is not synonymous with being a girl, ignorance is running rampant and widely spread, it's absolutely disgusting what u will do to prosper and get ahead, why won't we see thru the bullshit that's been fed, I often wonder if life's really just a spoof of The Walking Dead!
 

Peace and 1,

JC

11/23/15

I Lean On Me

My moments of depressive misery, are when peeps be too busy for me, it must be nice to have a partner in crime, someone to lean on in dark times, I'm so used to doing everything alone, discouraged about finding my own home, I'm a great third wheel, but apparently I don't have partner appeal, I understand I can barely stand myself, u know the old adage about help, unless it helps them too, they ain't gonna do, probably will tell u they will tho, I mean it's just Joe, he won't mind, he's such a nice guy, that always seems to finish last, who'll do pretty much anything u ask, but such a prude about taking it up the ass, doesn't appear to be about money or sex, totally not conceited egotistical or trying to be the best, in fact he's extremely humble and occasionally modest, 90% loyal and honest, the rest is up to u, will u follow thru with a smooch, or let another opportunity pass u by, u've got ur equal by ur side, I have too much pride to simply stand by, and watch my love being taken away, it's not limited or finite so don't be afraid, be patient and wait, stop chasing the devil's bait, be careful not to fall victim and become karma's prey, evil naturally occurs and lurks in the universe, pain pigs thrive and find pleasure when it hurts, I don't believe I'm cursed at birth, tho I'm far from perfect I know my value and worth!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/23/15

When Love Won Over Time

Time reminds me im always late, philosopher of free will vs preslated fate, if u can choose to be or not, why then haven't I got, the success story, of how a gay white rapper rose to glory, the next revolutionary like Harvey Milk, the rose that grew from the concrete has started to wilt, we've lost our way, perhaps it's a lack of faith, political correctness bullies with shame, being black woman Muslim or gay isn't the same, but it's all discrimination and hate, don't believe in fiery hell or heaven's pearly white gates, it's all fiction/fake, it's finally time to awake, and make education and consciousness a priority, if every single one of us minorities, united together as one with love, ain't nothing could ever conquer or victimize us!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/22/15

Is Faith Masochistic Torture

A whole weekend without seeing u is torture, hope u like the early christmas present ur partner bought ya, so now ull be online more, since ur screen is no longer cracked like before, why am i so addicted to u, like a tool fool or babbling bafoon, i lose all self control, what is my ultimate goal, mystified by the unavailable, the rights to life liberty and pursuit of happiness are inalieable, perhaps I was quick to say no, u know how relationships come and go, especially in the gay community, I refuse to let lust or my dick rule me, i'm attracted to creative intraverted wallflowers and fixer-uppers, but draw the line if u voted for George W (Dubbya), esp if ur black a girl or gay, are u mascochists or just ignorant to self hate, any minority that is a republican conservative, doesn't deserve to live, no I really don't mean or believe that, it's simply a rhyme to complete my poem/rap, I can't understand tho ur rationale or logic, ur either a glutton for punishment or straight up retarded, not like liberals are any better, snuggled cuddled next to u during stormy weather, is the only thing that can get me thru this election season, I'm about to start a riot chaos and get arrested for treason, for no other reason, than the US government and judicial system are no longer worth having faith or believing in!

Peace and 1,

JC

11/20/15

Gobbledy Goop Mush Or Goo

Please don't ever be afraid of me, tho I may not stay u will never leave, once uve earned a spot in my heart, no matter the amount of time or how far we are apart, u will forever remain there, seriously have no fear, my love and friendship are eternal, almost family-like/fraternal, u bring out the best in people, ur the quintessential needle, and this planet is the haystack, u have the ability most other gays lack, random hookups and sex isn't what I aim at I hate that, is loneliness karma's payback, for aggressively looking for love, man do u give the most energetic hugs, u heal me with affection, just being in ur presence I feel the magical protection, it's like nothing can penetrate, u give me the patience to wait, u make my soul feel great, indestructible like I won't break, no matter what obstacles arise, when I'm high the dead giveaway's my eyes, u see past the superficial shit, give me the strength courage and confidence to handle it, the stress and pressure of life, u could cut the sensual tension with a knife, every single moment I'm around u, I melt into a pile of gobbledy goop mush or goo, becoming a poet at a loss for words, what could possibly be any worse, perhaps there's no reverse for solitude's curse, but trying to imagine my world without u in it really hurts!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/19/15

Victim Without A Support System

The only thing harder to do than stay is leave, why did it take this long for us to meet, funny how the universe works, there've been so many flakes fakes and jerks, all along the way, I figured I'd never find a best friend who's gay, I don't know what my future holds, I'm such an antagonist to authority never doing what I'm told, I'm a revolutionary rebel, I'll take a Grammy or a million bucks instead of a medal, for my poetry and hip hop music, the media attention celebrities get do they ever get used to it, it's something I often wonder, imagine being picked apart for every mistake accident or blunder, everybody all up in ur personal life/business, those reality tv competition judges are extremely vicious, I mean they'll tear u apart and rip ur heart out, crush every single dream and ounce of confidence left in u to bout, leaving u nothing but a hopeless victim, why don't u have any type of support system, does the power of love really conquer all, at least now I have someone like u to catch me when I stumble or fall!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/19/15

Success & Happiness

Like Leona sings "I just wanna be happy", but why do I feel so stifled and crappy, honestly every day motivating myself is a struggle, feel excluded from the cool gang huddle, always riding solo, cuz peeps keep forgetting yolo, while u all are busy focusing on monogamy and money, I'm over here crying laughing so hard ur funny, the miseducation is atrocious, seems to be successful in the music industry u must be precocious, did u grab ur thesaurus yet, I can't help but forget, how numb dumb and ignorant we truly are, achieving happiness and fulfillment shouldn't be this God damn hard, enough already, why can't I get my life balanced sustainable and rock steady, seems the universe works against me constantly, u shoot down my goals wishes and dreams obnoxiously, just like the haters, don't wanna be a paralegal and/or a waiter, and only do poetry and hip hop on the side, when will it be my time, cuz it's running out while my patience is thin, I can't wait til my success story finally begins!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/18/15

So Fucking Out

You're so fucking god damn lazy, and it is driving me ridiculously crazy, make up ur mind, stop wasting my time, u say u wanna help, but selfishly look out for just urself, I make tons of compromises for u, while there's never any follow thru, at least on your behalf, why do I even ask, I give and give yet all u do is take, learn the definition of reciprocate, friendships can't be just one way, perhaps 2 dudes can't be friends cuz they're both gay, all for sure... I know, is that ur sarcasm and jokes, are no longer wanted, look at everything uve got and flaunted, I don't expect a lot, now that u can't easily get me pot, our dynamic has changed, I'm so resentful I'm showing my fangs, when is enough enough, if u continue to neglect and reject my love, one of these days I'm gonna snap, what is it that u don't grasp, I don't want ur dick or ass, I have to simply sit back and laugh, I guess it's me who's the real fool, I don't work so hard to support or for u, I thought u were pretty open minded and cool, now I realize I was nothing more than a useful tool, I'm not talking about being a human footstool, laugh out loud, fuck u fuck u fuck u...I'm out!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/16/15

Do Women=Men

All men are created equal but what about women, will Eve or Mary Magdalene ever be forgiven, they do so much to stick out and try to be the best, shave all their body hair even augment their face and chest, suffer standing in those stiletto high heels, spew and/or maybe skip a few meals, all just to stay sexy skinny and thin, resorting to a c-section to birth their next of kin, after all guys hate stretch marks, brains preferred over beauty's a farce, who cares if she's got smarts, does her va-j-j create sparks, can she cook and clean, is it that time of month or is she straight up bitchy and mean, periods should remain in sentences where they belong, her best feature better be sucking shlong, and don't forget to play with the balls, please refrain from spending my paycheck at the malls, carrying on with girlfriends on endless phone calls, save it for girl talk time in the bathroom stalls, or while powdering your nose, add some blush to both sets of cheeks when your indisposed, not clothed, and the door or blinds forgot to get closed, I'll buy u a white t-shirt for later on when u get hosed, or a nice thong for under that mini-skirt for when the wind blows, you know how it goes, bend over girl and touch them toes, let me see your best O face, honey I'm immune to mace, I hope u brought the cuffs, cuz ooh baby I like it rough, enough is never enough, nothing like a woman suffering through tough stuff, like giving birth, taking not only a big dick but one with width and girth, hope u got big boobs to fill out a belly shirt, know how to flirt, dig yourself out the mud or dirt, to rise to the occasion, and be better than amazing, cuz if u can't, you'll never ever be as good as a man.

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/23/10

A+

U are beautiful, and sensually suitable, have no fear, there's someone out there, I know it strikes a nerve and hurts, how most men hate curves, that's their loss, it's not u it's me of course, Redman's a fan of some extra cushion, for all that sex banging and pushing, there's something for u to grab on, u fill out that thong, big girls have a passion for food, are humble and kind without attitude, it's a sad reality, people are judged on looks way more than personality, like being bald gay or overweight, it's more of a generic trait, uncontrollable, inconsolable, when once again, you're rejected even being a friend, that's defined a hate crime, but I don't have time, for your negative energy, reprehensibly, pretending to be, genuine, my boobs are because I'm feminine, unlike u, I'm supposed to have two, what's your excuse, u male chauvinist pig, only dating a skinny ditzy twig, u can't have brains and beauty, one blames the other to explain and justify all the cruelty, what if I try exercise, yearn to learn to eat right, I mustn't just, trust what's unjust, and starve myself, would that help, u continue to pursue the untrue, I pity u, for never knowing real love, a tremendously transcendingly indiscriminating or hating snuggling sort of cuddling type of a hug, u know what it's cuz ur smug, a big pimping it wanna be hard core thug, fuck u I got mad self respect, I don't need your help, it's not necessary to get up or make a fuss, I deserve more...been too scorned..but I'm worn...and no longer torn over us thus, time to say goodbye...I can't lie...you're a z- or y...while I...am an absolute A+!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscous
2/18/09

Slam The Term Slam

Why the term poetry slam, like a rap battle it in fact can, imply violence, induce ideas of alliance, compliance, listen as I speak in silence, I'm about to squish squash u down, take away your glorious victorious championship gift...that crown, your day of reckoning will be heard all around town, your name will be mourned as it's transformed to a verb from a noun, how's that sound, you've just been Joe'd we, went toe to toe, but u couldn't crack the code, grab ahold of the judge's soul, to win the competition, u lacked inhibition, and the ambition to see the vision, understanding the condition or position you're in, it's survival of the fittest, fuck who's wittsiest, not wittiest, like funny HAHA, I could unbutton my shirt to display my male moobies/TaTas, but Nah Nah, that wouldn't be right, I'll be kicking the shit out of a comic who uses jokes to fight, my favorite chess piece is the knight, it comes from all weird angles, straight up mangles, my enemy is totally surprised, by beautifully executing the devious plot I devised surmised exercised and materialized, I will not compromise, find allies, and watch another as he or she needlessly dies, because someone dignifies, their own insecurities and lies, as this self proclaimed wanna be God cries, let there be war, I with words will strike u to the core, til u can't take no more, u feel raped like a whore, so insulted that your, repulsive and uglier than a boil or soar, why are u even alive or living for, not only do your absurd words bore, but you'd probably be more entertaining getting on all fours, start barking like a dog, then do tricks lie roll over or play dead, u never bite the hand from which you've been fed, get caught sleeping or in be, bitch, this is it, game on, let's pretend we're mafia and i'm the don, say hello to my little friend, truly take a few breaths or another second, and realize what kind of message the vestige "slam" may send, I don't have an answer as to something else it could be called, all I know my fellow poet and I have never brawled, nor name-called, what up with that, why do u make up this crap, proclaiming and saying I'm secretly crafting a sneak attack, like I would totally just stab someone in the back, I won't play that game, I don't jive that way, maybe we would wind up working to collaborate, make something wicked great, instead of endlessly going head to head, after all u really mustn't forget, playing with others makes things interestingly way more fun, and besides 2 heads are always better than 1.

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/19/10

Help Me Catch Myself

I need a mentor or a coach, to help me change my approach, a new best friend, to shoot the shit with and get bent, I'm a pretty simple guy, a paralegal and a poet rapper singer songwriter on the side, never thought about my wedding day so I can't decide, would I be the groom or the bride, it really shouldn't matter, are u superficial enough to dump me over getting fatter, can't u love me for who I am, just don't forget about including me in ur future life plans, u don't have to be a fan of my art, disengenuousness breaks my heart, try communicating open and honestly always straightforward and real, expressing confidence intelligence and how u truly feel, all relationships have boundaries and limits, sometimes I catch myself nervously spasm studder or figit, still learning how to take compliments and flattery, bdsm doesn't involve assault abuse or battery, actually it's supposed to be fun hot safe and sexy, wanna wrestle me, see if my milk from my testes tastes like nestles, i know I can be too intense aggressive and pervy, but if u took the time/opportunity to get to know me ud find I'm extremely valuable and worthy!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/14/15

Fuck The Universe

Damn man...ain't life grand, the universe fucks me over as much as it can, i don't know why or understand, what did I do to deserve being cursed and damned, where are my legions of followers and fans, let me be the voice for the gays lesbians bisexuals and trans, I'm sick of people saying stop trying to save or change the world...u can't, open ur god given mouth for once follow thru and actually take a stand, set and make lots of goals and plans, let's be each other's loving supportive helping hands, like a united front or clan of bands, living in peace and harmony all across the planet's lands, for as long as humanity's existence spans!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/14/15

Hold On To The Light

If u tell me I can't I will, do any of my rhymes give u a chill, I wanna move u, get thru to u, spread some love and consciousness, this whack rap is obnoxious, what happened to quality inspiration, enough battling hating and verbally raping, it's not a dick swinging competition, ya'll adulterers need to learn ur act of contrition, it's u who ruins the sanctity of marriage not gays, there are a million and one different ways, and just as many reasons why, we show love, when uve had enough of looking up, yet ur still stuck, in a quicksand type puddle of mud, u can find the strength within, as long as ur inner light shines and endures time good wins!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/11/15

One Of The Greats

Me and my problems are easy to ignore or dismiss, u think I'm just an annoyingly whiny lazy complainy bitch, so spoiled and privileged over showered with gifts and glitz, fed fatter platters of luxuriousness and bliss, how did we become automatically labeled cis, and what is even the meaning of this, googled it and it's transgenered's opposite, enough with the drop the T shit, but we need to have a civil conversation and discuss it, I'm having real trouble comprehending and/or understanding, so many people are shouting equality and demanding, yet nothing ever changes, I connect better with random strangers, at least when it comes to my music, I wonder if it's cuz my fam and friends aren't used to it, seeing me perform on stage live, I let the whole world into a completely different more personal side, it ain't easy baring ur heart and soul, financial sustainability thru art seems like an improbable goal, tho I have unwavering belief and the utmost faith, I can't help but wonder will I leave a legacy as potent as any one of hip hip's greats!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
11/11/15

Failed Expectations U Follow Thru

Up and Adam nice and early, does loving Mariah make me girly, is that how u knew I was gay, having a better day today than yesterday, not sure if it was being rejected or the weather being gray, why am I still ashamed and afraid, got veteran's day off, hopefully I've finally gotten rid of that dreaded cough, that congested lump in my throat, making my voice even raspier when I sang or spoke, hate picking people apart when delivering a joke, I won't tear down other folks, just to get laughter or applause, hip hop seems to have lost its cause, used to be a voice of the oppressed, i definitely don't claim to be the best, in fact I'm far from it, I'm not just a dreamer I've actually done shit, which is more than I can say for u, I'm really sick and tired of failed expectations and the lack of follow thru!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/11/15

What's Ur Fantasyland Plans

Can never have enough money or time, wish we met in younger years during our prime, seems like a missed opportunity, often feel dismissed and rejected by my own community, I'm such a non conformist activist/rebel, I don't gossip judge or meddle, especially in other people's affairs, trust I'm self conscious about my lack of hair, same with my curves and man boobs, can u solve a rubric's cube, u better have poppers and lube, if u trying to get in my poop shoot, how do u feel about open relationships and groups, love is a complicated thing, but look at the joy and happiness it brings, like Pac I let my mind go blind when I rap and sing, simply rather smoke pot than drink, could give a fuck what u think, so what if ur feet stink, as long as ur personality doesn't, if u think dick was all I'm after it wasn't, that was never my agenda or intention, no need for a fwb intervention, I know what I'm getting myself into, officially ignorant when it comes to Muslim vs Hindu, totally aware of where I stand, best friends forever and mutual fans, no ring's going on either of our 4th fingers left hand, even if it is actually legal now for me to marry a man, sorry if u can't understand, I just don't see that happening in my fantasyland plans!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/10/15

Give What U Get

My whole world seems upside down, just like my sarcastic frown, lately I've been radiating smiles, don't u just love when love pig piles, life has been kind to me lately, having good friends affects the soul greatly, I often struggle I guess, with recognizing how much I've been blessed, and of course there's a lack of patience, my eyes are shaped like an Asian's, tired of folks keep calling me privileged, what's the legacy u wanna give kids, all cops aren't evil racists, the youth sees peep's essences not the color of their gender rendered faces, I simply don't tolerate hate, I choose not to discriminate, won't get down with judging others, I've been the butt of jokes and fodder for years my dear sisters and brothers, do u have high self esteem, dare to follow ur passions and go after ur big dreams, what audacity to think I can earn a Grammy, watch me win and silence the haters who can't stomach or stand me, it must suck to see me succeed, u too can do it but first u must believe, aint nothing nobody can say, or do to get in my way, I may occasionally falter or side step, but I always forge forward and push ahead, I know the reverse is true but should u give what u get, after all u can't take money or material possessions with u when ur dead!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/9/15

Love Travels Thru Music

Too bad Star Trek tech doesn't exist, beaming to places would be absolutely ridiculous, but in a very good way, no more getting caught in traffic on the highway, which is the major source of road rage, we won't need trains cars or planes, who knows maybe someday, perhaps skate boards and bikes will remain, but travel will totally change, after all nothing forever stays the same, roads and streets will become obsolete, bet petroleum sales will be bleak, global warming is real...I repeat, global warming is real and proven by scientists, I can't understand man how u don't get the gist, what gives, ur life isn't effected by the way I have sex or live, with or without the hiv, say it outright not as an acronym, being gay isn't a choice or a sin, nobody has the right, to judge or own another life, we all have plight and strife, even if u take away color shit's still black and white, why are we so afraid of ambiguity or the shaded gray, ur actions are supposed to prove and validate what u say, for humanity's sake I pray we awake, our survival is at stake, open up our hearts and minds to the mistakes, we viciously cyclically make, we work too much til our backs break, learn to find balance for God's sake, chillax a lil by the beach or a lake, bask in and feel the warmth of the sun's rays, and just let love wash over u while my music plays!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/6/15

Voice Noise & Choice

Perhaps u were my bad choice, in a collective we u lose ur individual voice, if u see something wrong make noise, don't stand there distinguished and poised, inaction perpetuates problems, presidential candidates identify em but won't solve em, maybe they just don't know how, i want money equality and love right now, not when I'm too old to enjoy it, ridiculous amounts of under and unemployment, with huge amounts of debt, proves congress is out of touch and inept, our country's gone down the tubes, most people are lazy spoiled or stupid fools, who break all the rules, have this entitled rude prude attitude, but when it's time to make a difference they never follow thru!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/5/15

Blame God

Who do or can I blame, for all the pain and the rain, tornados earthquakes and hurricanes, for not gaining fame, making stupid people driving me crazy insane, my soul's been sucked and drained, consumed by envy and shame, hatred and discrimination are plain lame, I don't like singling individuals out by name, why am I so sensitive once I've came, why don't I erect the same for a dame, refuse to keep being stifled and maimed, my life isn't a game to be played, yes black lives matter but so don't women and gays, like Tupac I'm hoping for better days, where I won't get lost in the haze daze or maze, is evil ruling just a phase, will hip hop ever stop being all about the bass, I wanna touch and move folks like Amazing Grace, could you face real aliens from outer space, success isn't a race, do we set our own pace, or is there really a God who controls all our fates!?

Peace and 1,
JC
11/5/15

Jay Andrade's Words Of Wisdom

Gonna go running and meditate, let my mind go blank, quiet my nerves, work thru the hurt, ur time will come, where can u get patience from, like seriously, it's mysterious to me, I'm consumed by jealousy and envy, capitalism's a rat race mentally, people always be trying to profit, nothing I say or do can stop it, u can't change ignorant, or the unwilling, perhaps Jay Andrade was right, don't focus on the negativity just let it be and spread the light!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/4/15

Power To Me & We The People

Time to just focus on me, let it go and let shit be, stop trying to change the world, it's ok to be gay and not wanna be a girl, also cool to know ur preferences, I have eclectic diversified references, I love people from all walks of life, I relate more with wallflowers misfits and the hip hop strife, talk about sexism and racism, tho I'm not poor black or have been to prison, ya'll shld understand the situation I'm facing, ur perpetuating genocide hatred and discrimination, lead by example, remember the preamble, we the people, can defeat this corrupt capitalistic corporate culture that's pure evil, but we need to unite together and fight, no presidential candidate will but Bernie might, actually correct some of the mistakes made, hope we can even redeem ourselves from a failing grade, Kathy Griffin may have rocked the D list, but I'm wicked fucking pissed, how dare u ruin this great country's legacy, what scares me the most is giving power to the republicans aka the confederacy!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/4/15

Be Present

Woke up today with an ear to ear smile, even traffic couldn't eradicate or defile, I'm just so unbelievably happy, yall gonna think I'm corny and laugh at me, but I have the bestest family and friends, so supportive and right there til the end, it's true u are defined by who u hang with, certain ones keep me grounded helping me get a grip, cuz reality can be crazy hard, how's ur luck at cards, chances are that's an indicative sign, I'm often in awe of the power of the mind, faith is stronger tho, humans are all soul, fuck the body it's only temporary, everyone wants a Mustang over a Chevy, superficial materialism is the devil, sorry not sorry I refuse to compromise my dreams or settle, I have hope that it will all work out alright, u just gotta maintain motivation keep passion alive and always fight, we only get one life, despite pain plight and strife, remember even good things happen to bad people, don't stay silent learn to speak up and express what u feel, u never get anything if u don't ask, best thing any of us can do is let go of both the future and the past, instead of focusing on why question how, the only way to live is to be present in the here and now!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/3/15

Bow Down Bitches

Very often I don't feel good enough, keeping confident and motivated is tough, how do u become this larger than life brand, but still be a genuine humble grounded man, like Santa and Jesus there's no real Peter Pan, are you friend foe fam pham or fan, I don't compartmentalize people, stereotyping and labeling are evil, trying to change me is feeble, money doesn't make u regal, it's obviously the thrown and crown, power is really what's profound, can you handle the pressure, look how value and worth are measured, fuck talent or substance, u shld know the difference between diameter and circumference, enough with ur presumptuous opinionated judgments, I found more guts carving and hollowing out pumpkins, now Christmas will get shoved down our throats, the whole hoax is just gross, capitalistic commercialism at it's finest, bow down bitches and refer to me only as ur excellency/ur heinous!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/2/15

On Demand Command Performance

I was reminded how hard it is to perform on demand, I'm not a light switch that works on voice command, but that doesn't make me less talented at all, in fact we get better after we fail and fall, I'm only in the beginning stages of my career, trust me I'm consumed by irrational insecurities and fear, it's nice tho to be humbled and checked, I hope u don't think I'm full of bullshit and really inept, I don't just talk a good game, nobody's immune to imperfection or shame, we've only ourselves to blame, tho I'm blessed with looks rap skills and brains, I wonder how long my fame will reign, perhaps Pac was right that some things will never change, and maybe celebrity isn't in my destiny, but I won't let doubt or disbelief get the best of me, I am strong passionate and driven, like MLK Jr I have a dream and an enlightened revolutionary vision, that consciousness will awaken from its hellish prison, people will stop being sheep and finally start truly living, u can look to others or even up, but if u look deep inside ull find the answer is love!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/2/15