Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Don't Forget To Use Lube

Can't find that guy I'm compatible with both in and out of the bedroom, how many good friendship relationships has sex ruined, I give up on the idea of fairytale monogamous love, course u want ur dick sucked without the strings attached to cuddle and hug, that's called having the best of both worlds, lately I get hit on more by girls, easier to find a married man with kids willing to cheat on his wife, than to meet a decent single masc gay guy to date and share my life, which aint fair or right, every day is another fight, I really wanna lay down give up and die, lost the motivation for music and to even put my heart out there to try, rather crawl in bed with my body pillow and cry, all I can think of is what's wrong with me or why, perhaps it's me who's got it wrong, maybe I'll be known more for poetry than my hip hop songs, tho I know my soul is strong, I gain confidence smoking a blunt or bowl or ripping the bong, how do I become numb, existence is dumb, want to figure out the point but there doesn't seem to be one, the evil people have all the fun, I feel too bad, while they simply laugh at the fact I get so emotional and sad, til I boil over mad, that I fell for ur illusion, ur icky tricky delusion confusion, like my grampy used to say "ur cruising for a bruising", now im all sore raw contused and abused from u using me without lubing, it's not just the memory that hurts, but what makes it abundantly worse, u get to go home to ur boo dude, while I have nothing and no one to turn to!
 
Peace and 1,
JC
12/9/15

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