Learning to detach from the past and reflection, for my own good safety and protection, falling out of love with u, is the fucking hardest thing to do, I don't like the way u make me feel about myself, I understand how u lash out cuz u too need help, don't want to have to handle somebody else's shit, unfortunately being best buds means u have to deal with it, a great way to make a friend is to be one, it's not always sunshine butterflies and fun, sorry if I've become too much work, I'm depressed from boredom and neglect and it hurts, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand, god laughs when we plan, gotta stop seeking affection and approval, total control and perfection aren't doable, they can never be achieved, like Whitney and Mariah sing "u will when u believe", the trick is to stay focused, lust is like a locust, beautiful on the outside yet hides a deadly surprise, I don't want to just live to survive, gotta stop asking why, be more patient and wait til it's my time to not only succeed but thrive, was asleep before now I opened my gemini mind's eye, and started graciously appreciating the blessing of simply being alive!
Peace and 1,
JC
1/25/16
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