Friday, July 29, 2016

Gullible Sucker/Abused Fool

Here one minute gone the next, seems in love and success I'm jinxed/hexed, I don't want to take anymore tests, please don't think I'm always right or the best, but I am unique talented and special, I may sacrafice and compromise but won't regret nor settle, shouldn't pretend or fake it til u make it, I'm so insecure butt naked,  sweeping shit under the rug, or projecting being a gangster thug, damages my credibility and reputation, what's with all this truth and consciousness hating, bastardizing chivalry and integrity, devisive fear mongering has us desperately competitively coexisting separately, please try not to step on me tho, and don't diminish my light's glow, everybody can achieve their dreams, if we support each other like we're on the same team, allow opportunity for all to prosper, do u not see ur behavior makes u the monster, stealing then breaking my heart, the avoiding ghosting really really really needs to stop, grow up and learn to better communicate, I'm a gullible sucker that twice took the bait, refuse to be an abused fool a third time, unfortunately for now ull be forever in my heart and on my mind!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/29/16

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Be Humble Sincere & Genuine

Can u forgive and forget, is it best to just internalize the frustration and stress, alot of truth is said in gest sarcasm and drunkenness, the rich need to learn to share and live with less, I mean really u need 20 cars and 3 to 5 homes, government shld subsidize all college loans, no more too big to fail banks, churches pay taxes also thanks, corporations congress cops and politicians shld all be held responsible accountable and liable, our leaders need to be strong communicators trustworthy honest and reliable, otherwise the system gets further rigged, ya'll need to do better thorough research actually investigate and use ur brains to think, stop being so gullibly ignorant and perpetuate pc, we should all be equal and free, preach love acceptance and unity, be a rebelious revolutionary like me, fulfill ur goals obligations and dreams to truly succeed and be happy, it takes bravery resiliency tenacity and audacity, but one day like a prince my time will cum, it's almost as predictable as the moon and sun, just have a lil faith, patience is a virtue I lack but all I can do is wait, I'll continue to pursue passions and date, my heart isn't broken it's a bit bruised cracked scarred with a dent, the only way I survive is living life bent, it calms my nerves, heals the hurt, make sure u remember ur worth, I will not put on heels makeup a wig nor skirt, just to gain fame or attention, I've found the wisest lesson is always stay true to u be humble sincere and genuine!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/27/16

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Trying To Survive The One That Got Away

To be in my life it's not that complicated nor hard, stop fucking with my head and heart, be genuine straight forward and real, tell me truthfully and honestly how u feel, the rest will work itself out, I hate that miscommunication and misunderstanding makes us bout, I don't fall in like like forever, u simply make me and my life better, u are my happiness, reduce my stress, I even smoke dope less, I look around and all I think about is ur the best, both our lives are a mess, life and love are the ultimate tests, I'm screwed with luck and timing, my loves light will eternally be shining, u are the one that got away, I dream about u night and day, and I pray ull get out of ur own way, hopefully eventually find ur way thru ignorance's haze/maze, back into my arms and soul, financial success and Grammys are great but ur my purpose/goal, it all means nothing without u, and now that u dumped me I have no fucking clue what I'm gonna do!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/24/16

I Think I'm Fucking Great

God u asked me to just be boyfriends, I should never be anyone's everything, u take care of u and I'll do me, we can blend each other into our lives slowly to avoid codependency, dooped me once, I'm a naive dunce, but break my heart twice, don't expect this gullible humiliated fool to pretend to be friends all nice nice, there's alot of love still there, but we can't persevere thru all ur insecurities self doubt and fear, u keep cutting and shutting me out, silence infuriates my anxiety and desire to verbally bout, u must push forward past uncomfortable confrontation, cuz relationships need trust honesty and open communication, go fix and handle ur shit, I don't ostracize hide or dismiss, told u already we are friends for life, I've been nothing but emotionally supportive thru ur pain and strife, but u twist the knife u plunged in my back, breaking up with me via text is simply whack, u don't have the decency compassion respect or balls, to at least have an adult conversation over a long phone call, or better yet face to face, instead u remain quiet evasive block me pushing me further and further away, I won't chase or wait, it's ur loss really...I think I'm fucking great, definitely not perfect, but totally worth it, ya know some closure or a logical explanation, I refuse to let this jade me or my fate and start hating, I truly believe it all happens for a reason, once again it seems we're both in challenging living positions and in different seasons, guess father time is a sarcastic sadist mother fucker, leaving me left wondering will I ever find my soul mate/unconditional lover?!?

Peace and 1,
JC
7/24/16

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Gladly Happy Occupied By Love

It's awesomely weird to have a boyfriend, like Pink I found out I wasn't broken just bent, but I mean duh really, I'm an out and proud pothead silly, this shouldn't be shocking, I hate alchys who hypocritically are judging and mocking, like their bad habit isn't way worse, the fact cig smoking is legal still fucking hurts, it's all simply corrupt politics as usual, people are inherently mean vindictive and cruel, perpetuating crab behavior, can u see Trump's a modern Hitler but Bernie's our metaphorical savior, what's wrong with a leader being a democratic socialist/progressive idealist, wish congress was occupied by virtuous moral empathic realists, stop fighting over who's the lesser of two evils, since it's 2016 where's my hover car that doesn't need wheels, hey Doc can u take us to where we don't need fossil fuels or roads, life is a bitter sweet tragedy that's just the way it goes, but I'm learning more to enjoy the roller coaster ride, ur love soothes my anxiety so I'm not always high, being in a relationship with u I won the lottery, I hate how much emphasis we put on money it bothers me, I'd rather be broke and poor, than be some sugar daddy's whore, as long as I have u by my side, I'll gladly wake up happy fulfilled and appreciative to be alive!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/21/16

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Good Intentioned But No Follow Thru

Please keep ur good intentions if no follow thru, it's not the game u spit but if u do, ya'll want all the benefits profits and perks, but want to do little to no work, sit there demanding while complaining, ur lack of effort and participation is frustrating and draining, I'm done sacraficing for others, I have no brothers, just fake friends and posers, where's all the revolutionary rebellious artists and soldiers, not only after the fortune or the fame, my music is personal and it's not a game, it's my blood sweat tears and soul, most people don't have passion drive dreams or an ultimate goal, faking reacting and making it up as they go, never have plans and can't execute them anyway, ostracized from a genre cuz I'm white and openly gay, why's hip hop met with such hate, ya'll are a bunch of devisive hypocrites that judge and discriminate, I can't wait for fate, afterall life is only what we make, so while u stay silent and passively quiet, I'm still that faggot cracker rapper that's gonna speak the conscious truth enciting a peaceful political riot!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/17/16

Gain Sight & Write

Birds chirping, time to get up and start working, making the best of today, I've decided to start minimizing what I say, I'm spewing shit left and right, miscommunication and misunderstanding has caused fight after fight, who knew there was such room for error with language, or that the flip side to love is hate pain and anguish, each breath is a gift, lessons learned from failure and tiffs, instead of wake and bake, I gain sight and write that's my way, I'm an over emotional deep sensative thinker, why don't people use their blinker, perhaps they have no idea where they're going or headed, u don't need to have 6 pack abs all shredded, to me a beautiful smile and soul, compassionate kind and a sense of humor is the ultimate goal, whether at first sight, or later in life, there's no one time line everyone follows, but a life without friendship and love is simply cold lonely and hollow, gotta have faith strength and patience, afterall the greatest love stories are as old as time and ancient, it's a given, so open up ur heart and finally start living!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/17/16

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Should've Known Better

Here's how I feel, I can't believe this is real,  this fucked up shit is my life, enraged with bitterness envy jealousy and spite, everyday I awake and wipe my eyes, no truth love or happiness in a world consumed by power hungry greed hatred and lies, I should've known better than to trust u, but lust made me the fool, so insistant on pda, but wound up just another notch on the belt after one or two dates, ya'll gays are so insecure and afraid, wind up getting in ur own way, that's why I married music, humans are cancerous inherently flawed and abusive, they don't care about the future or the greater good, rather be cyclically repressive quiet and misunderstood, trapped in a victim shaming pc Christian bubble, nothing more impossible than a quicksand of comfortable, so cuddlable and huggable, super lustful but only conditionally lovable, no shortcut shuttle, thru all the kerfuffle, we all must trip fall fail and stumble, I pride myself on being too virtuous genuine and humble, too existentially evolved to be amongst such a sea of robotic slave like sheeple, I feel perhaps I am JC  for real, resurrected to shine love's beacon of light on those who copy rob cheat and steal, eradicating eternal damnation darkness and all the forces/sources of evil!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/13/16

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Truly Alive At 25

Been trapped in a sea of negativity, with an undying belief there is still more greatness within me, I'm trying to keep calm and patient, but I'd like to be successful before I'm too old or ancient, we shld stray away from individuality, shld respectfully existentially question what happened in every single casualty, without truth there can be no justice nor love, nothing more healing than smiles and hugs, yes even thugs cry too, vulnerability doesn't change ur masculinity dude, the level of ignorance and stupidity is astounding, if u followed thru consistently I wldnt be hounding, ya'll caught up in ur own lives, is there a limit to how many times one tries, can u really give up on or stop being who u are, life is simply a tragedy unfair and extremely hard, especially fulfilling my music dream, like Leona "I just wanna be happy", but money's always in the way, it's laughable being a rapper that's white and openly gay, but I refuse to do anything else, my poetry and songs are therapeutic and helps, not only myself but so many others, I'm an undercover masc homo brother, I've never identified as bi, I really had absolutely no idea I liked guys til I was 25!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/3/16