Going thru some rough dark times, just when I'm courageous enough to draw hard lines, the takers push them again, I'm longing for unconditional love and friends, I have no adult family, seems most can't tolerate or stand me, I've been waking up lately crying, pretty much prefer dying, life is so expensive intense illusion and lies, no matter how hard one tries, getting out of debt or the red, is as impossible as losing or forgetting ur head, ur mind is a whole other story, seems making millions is the only way to achieve glory, I write music and poetry to help deal, with the overwhelming stress anxiety and rejection I feel, with neverending incessant bullies and haters, god nor the universe does me any favors, in fact the opposite occurs, the atrocities bad luck and cursed timing hurts, working like crazy but basically standing still, won't endorse marijuana as a remedy only a prescribed pill, I've never been ok with artificial man made shit, I really really really despise and hate it, completely defeated fearful and broken, unmoved and demotivated by the criticism ya'll repeatedly have spoken, hence religiously toking, the gays only care about poking, fuck trust intimacy and romance, instead of insightful intelligence ya'll want the mindless distraction of Gaga's "Just Dance", I've decided the disciples are what I'll call my avid diehard fans, what's important is how long my legacy spans, not the size of my wallet or pants, I refuse to believe I can't, when it's rough and tough and uve had too much/more than enough, come get a hug cuz I just want ya'll to feel my love!
Peace and 1,
JC
10/2/16
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