Need to get out of this hood, cuz I'm simply misunderstood, but where do I go tho, u need a support system u know, and I am super blessed right here, but not leaving is my biggest fear, feeling sort of trapped, so I start to randomly clap back, lashing out and misdirecting my anger, at any and all strangers, who get up in my face, invade my space, with bad vibes and intentions, do u believe in evolution or divine ascension, reincarnation is hard to fathom, but immaculate conception seems impossibly baffling like a hiccup or spasm, where do thoughts come from, I feel inadequate naive and dumb, always questioning the unaswerable truths, so I'm not another statistic/ignorant fool, those who don't learn from their past are doomed to repeat it, why does failure make me feel so defeated, I mean I can always try again, wish I had more than just a friend, an actual life partner, for when times get tougher and harder, to hold my hand and be by my side, someone in which I can trust and confide, but most gay men just want good rough sex, I swear homos are cursed and hexed, especially when it comes to unconditional love, it's tough to cuddle or hug, without giving the wrong impression, God please stop all this testing, without any rewards, what am I even working towards, I've forgotten what my purpose is, without financial success I appear worthless, perhaps the grass is greener back in Cali, or maybe I should go fuck some random hotty in a dark alley, get all nutty and slutty, the world really doesn't seem so funny, but I could be way too serious and a prude dude, need to have a more throw caution to the wind sort of attitude, let go a little, I hope u know my poems are riddles, giving ya'll insight to who I am deep inside, sit back and enjoy my mind fuck of a ride, cuz like Lauryn Hill sings "ready or not here I come u can't hide", put my puzzle pieces together if u can I double dare u to try!
Peace and 1,
JC
2/22/17
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