They keep asking why ur with him, but I won't let my insecurities begin to win, cuz I honestly don't know why either, I feel fat shirtless or wearing a wife beater, yet I push myself to do it anyway, that's just the way of the gays, superficial ruthless and petty, I think we were both just ready, I don't know how I snagged him honestly, he's super fucking sexy and that's putting it modestly, plus he's got a killer personality drenched in sarcasm, I love teasing him to the point of twitching throbbing and spasming, simply because for some reason I can, he is so rugged handsome and all man, I have to pinch myself often to see if I'm dreaming, I never want to lose this feeling, I'm head over heels smitten in love, I can't seem to ever get enough, and it's weird to know that it's completely mutual, the odds of me finding anyone more compatible is incomputable, he is absolutely my dream guy, without him I'd die and wouldn't even wanna be alive, he's brought so much joy to my life, from the start it just felt right like lust at first sight, then the more I got to know, the harder it became to try and let go, even a few days a part, weighs heavy on my heart, I want to be with him forever and always, wish it could be no work and all play, wouldn't that be the greatest, by no means am I an ageist, but it's nice to be with an adult not a boy, it's never my intent to harass be too needy or annoy, he is truly addicting, even when I'm sleeping and fantasizing it's him I'm picturing, hope he's my last, so the future isn't anything resembling my past, where I was lonely unfulfilled bored and alone, he makes me imagine being married with children living in a beautiful home, who would've thought, I could get caught, he stole my soul, filled in the empty hole, making my existence complete, giving me strength when I was weak, can accomplish conquering the world with u by my side, for the first time I'm actually learning to enjoy this crazy ride!
Peace and 1,
JC
5/15/17
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