Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Listen Learn Nourish & Encourage

Do u ever feel trapped in life, like it's not worth the fight of the plight and strife, u just keep getting shat on, don't believe that con, I do believe there's a purpose, growing pains hurt us, but we evolve and change, which seems very strange, more so then when we achieve and succeed, why do we get punished for doing good deeds, it's like the universe wants us to be bad, don't make karma mad, cuz that bitch can bite, in these dark times I keep asking myself where is the light, this tunnel appears never-ending, what's with all the ghosting benching and defriending, save it for death, we need to start using our hearts more than our heads, our collective soul, shouldn't be bought and sold, hold onto hope, our empathy mechanism must be broke, along with honor dignity and respect, our law enforcement are supposed to serve and protect, we're not paying attention to who we elect, I wonder what will happen next, where do we go from here, I'm tired of being ruled by fear, I just wanna be happy spreading truth consciousness and love, I wish my music and poetry were enough, to be financially sustainable and stable, there are very few gay white rappers who are capable and able, to tap into the majority, all I can say is I'm sorry, guess I'm not as strong as I thought, success doesn't come with a handbook or ever taught, schools concentrate more on discipline, why is it that nobody listens, especially to my lyrics, sometimes I think they only pretend to hear it, the deep thought provoking messages, stop all the hate against democratic socialists and progressives, we gotta keep pushing boundaries and limits, aren't ya'll sick of stereotypical politicians with their lies tricks and gimmicks, they're all the same, get into office and they're lame, I'm not looking for a magical savior, but voters ignore obviously deplorable behavior, in fact it's idolized and encouraged, we're supposed to inspire our kids and nourish, instead we're totally abandoning them, there's no reset button to start again, we only get one chance/shot, why does it matter if a singer can dance or not, I mean Jesus fucking Christ, I swear people criticize out of spite, mama said if u can't say something nice, don't roll the dice, cuz words can crush and stifle, just as harmful as a knife or rifle, suicide is still running rampant in my community, wish we could go back to the days where Queen Latifah preached "Unity", or Pac reminded us to "Keep Ur Head Up", even when the road is hard and tough, perhaps there can never be peace, so should we retreat, or continue to at least try, I could use a lil bit of oomph the Jadakiss song "Why" provides, maybe Lauryn Hill's "Light My Fire" or George Michael's "Faith", to eradicate the frustration anger and angst, nothing else seems to be working, nobody knows how much precious time is lurking, so we ignore the responsibility and reality, looks like we will all be a casualty, unless we resist and impeach, there's no bounds to the wrath of the hand of God's reach, so please stop testing His patience, wake up pay attention and actually learn some history from the stories of the ancients!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/30/17

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Praying Amazing Grace At Last

Lately like Kesha I've been "Praying", not only to be patient, but for my boyfriend, for his pain and suffering to end, I need him around, losing love can be overwhelmingly profound, and I've had enough loss already, my faith is a lil unsteady, especially after my grandmother died, I'm not gonna lie, I'm still mad at God, why does life have to be so hard, will we ever catch a break, or did I make too many mistakes, and I'm being punished, there's only so much I can stomach, have had enough heartache to last a lifetime, no I won't be fine, unless I achieve some musical and financial success, I give my all and do my best, but apparently it's not good enough, I too just wanna be loved, perhaps we're exempt being gay, and we will all be damned to hell come judgment day, but I don't truly believe that, I have hope the Lord has my back, even tho no one really knows, the story of Jesus has very many holes, and doesn't make a lot of logical sense, that's blasphemous so I guess I gotta repent, can u recite the Act of Contrition, it's standard protocol to absolve sinning, but it's been twenty some odd years, do people actually believe u must be in Church for Him to hear, and only when ur down on ur knees, does He seriously listen to ur pleas, who made up these rules, King James has been playing us for fools, religion is a form of control, all I want is to let go, there's too much responsibility, and apparently I don't have the ability, to make good choices or decisions, is existence really just a prison, where the body traps the soul, fuck Truman is this the Joe show, feels like it, wish Adam didn't bite shit, least of all the apple, Eve was created from his rib is hard to grapple, guess the chicken or the egg theory is plain irrelevant, where's my forty acres and a mule as settlement, my government has neglected me, gave the illusion we're free, was blind but with amazing grace I now can see, I hate reality, we've lost the truth, the point to life is too aloof, lacking meaning or purpose, seems just to hurt and work us, like worthless slaves, forced to dig our own graves, there's no room for fun or play, be careful what u say, cuz they have no problem silencing u, not talking about using glue, they murder and kill, there's no such thing as free will, this Gemini is conscious and cognitive, yes there's negative and positive, but my poems are a mixture of both, I'm learning to practice my art without dope, some days are good while others are bad, sometimes I'm happy others I'm mad or sad, I exhibit a full range and spectrum of emotion, I love being thought provoking and causing commotion, adding a lil spice to life, I'm tired of always being nice, that guy finishes last, trying to stay in the moment instead of focusing on the future and/or past, wish the universe would simply do what I ask, let the heavens shine down on me Etta James style "At Last"!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/29/17  

Monday, August 28, 2017

Manifest Destiny Don't Think Extinct

Hate being schooled, played the fool, cuz I'm too trusting in people, we're both inherently good and evil, it's what we choose, that defines u, how do u use ur power, to make others fear and cower, or to uplift motivate and inspire, teach young ones to reach higher, and achieve any dream, capitalism is losing steam, creating such inequality thru competition, envy induces division, especially when money is the root cause, does greed and corruption give u pause, maybe u just ignore and accept, I'm sorry not sorry but I don't wanna be kept, I have independence value and self worth, having everything easy or handed to u could be considered a curse, yet it's said they're blessed, lottery winners claim the experience was a mess, u see the ugly side, good luck trying to hide, everyone wants what they can't and don't have, do ya'll understand the logic and rules of math, a pie has a finite amount of pieces, this is a poem not a thesis, I forgot ur superficially shallow not consciously deep, don't understand the basic consequences of what we reap, guess u don't sow, so how could u know, u lazy fucks, learn the distinct difference between true love and lust, it has nothing to do with sex, perhaps humans are naturally hexed, doomed from the start, that's what happens when u lose soul and heart, unable to find ur voice, knowledge is a choice, so stop wasting time, the less working smart the harder the grind, I will not and refuse to apologize, for having the gusto or foresight to try and strive, making the most of an education, laying down a crucial fundamental foundation, providing myself with future possibilities and an abundance of opportunity/chance, I may be gay but I don't dance or prance, I keep my sexuality on the dl, since most religions believe we're damned to hell, as if they're absolved impervious and free from sin, existence is as fragile and vulnerable as the shin, no one's promised tomorrow, obviously u can't deal with the regret and sorrow, perhaps now ull think twice before u act, use some patience poise and tact, cuz ur actions impact ur reputation, seems like we're approaching Revelations, with encumbering darkness, too many mother and fatherless, kids need a positive force of support role model or example, otherwise they get trampled, it is also imperative, to cherish one's heritage, history isn't a mystery, but we repeat the misery, if only taught falsehoods and lies, will Trump lead us to our demise, not if we don't let him and resist, and I'm not talking about with guns bombs or fists, there's gotta be a peaceful solution, to overpopulation discrimination and pollution, let's put our heads together and think, before someone drops a bomb or nuke and everything becomes extinct!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/28/17

Friday, August 25, 2017

The Duped Fool Who Can't Be Cruel

I can't control when inspiration strikes, or the amount of comments shares or likes, seems people prefer racy pics, conscious thought and substance takes a back seat to tits and dicks, why are we so sexually repressed, some of the fattest ugliest folks sing the best, so video really did kill the radio star, I thought when Obama was elected we as a nation had come far, now we appear to be regressing back, our civil rights are being attacked, and we have no activist leaders, just a whole lot of corrupt greedy cheaters, setting a bad example, while 99% of us are getting trampled, like Black Eyed Peas asked "Where Is The Love", don't millionaires already have enough, how bout ya'll share the wealth, so many don't make the most of the hand they've been dealt, jealousy's a bitch but so is envy, u don't want a tongue lashing then don't send for me, I don't practice throwing shade, I'll say shit directly to ur face, maybe in a sarcastic way, but keep ur judgments to urself about the gays, let me knock u off ur pedestal, if u automatically presume we're all going to hell, how many ex wives do u have, religious extremist's hypocrisy makes me laugh, nobody is exempt, the devil naturally tempts, no matter which sin u choose, karma is an unpredictable game of duck duck goose, how fast can u run, there's nothing worse than being rejected or shunned, when's it my turn, cuz I've only been burned, still waiting for music success, I write poetry to get the stress off my chest, what if I never make it, sometimes I wish I could be disingenuous and fake shit, but my facial expressions give me away, wish true unconditional love would stay, but the universe keeps throwing curve balls, will he see penitentiary bars and walls, or will he get off, I hate when haters snarl and scoff, u ain't better than anyone else, being modest and humble helps, opinions are like assholes everybody's got them, talking politics exacerbates being so not zen, why push buttons, are we all gluttons for punishments, masochistic by nature, don't believe in global warming look at the melting glaciers, guess we haven't learned from past mistakes, here's a foreign notion do whatever it takes, make compromises and sacrifice, cuz like my song says "That's Life", "nothing's fucking fair or right and the bullshit won't quit", avoiding responsibility makes me sick, time flies by ridiculously quick, is the average American really a thick hick, or simply lacks common sense, please please please don't impeach cuz we'll be stuck with Pence, who is so much worse, the human race is cancerous/cursed, I know both good and evil lurks, but everyone not doing their part won't work, the collective suffers and hurts, ud think I was asking jerks to give up their homes food or shirts, when all I'm asking is to give a little if u can, we should lend a hand to any needy woman child or man, cuz it's the right thing to do, perhaps I'm just a naive selfless hopeless optimist and a duped fool who can't be cruel!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/25/17

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Responsibility & Pressure To Be Better

Something's gotta give, counting the days til the weekend is no way to live, seems we exist to work and pay bills, why don't we try to harness individual's talents and skills, how can an eighteen year old know, what they want to do for the long windy road, that's a lot of responsibility and pressure, I hate how a person's value and worth are measured, it's all about the money, so life isn't fun or funny, like when we were kids, why isn't there any heart in business, where is the love inspiration and soul in music, our government has become corrupt and abusive, 99% have turned into robotic slaves, work work work work work til we're burned or buried in our graves, and cemeteries aren't really sustainable, perhaps existential evolution is simply not attainable, cuz as a race we seem to be degrading and recessing, maybe we're circling back around to a modern day Greater Depression, Trump is crushing our hope and spirit, when it comes to issues and solutions nobody wants to hear shit, like our problems will miraculously and magically just get solved/fixed, a president should lead by example provide motivation and uplift, not be so divisive, people need to get their heads out of their asses and devices, will we be replaced by AI, or give UBI free healthcare and education a try, what is the problem being more socialistic, why can't our food and medicine be more natural and holistic, consumerism is so so wasteful, when did Congress get so hateful, we need bipartisan effort, listen to the advice of experts, policies and laws have long term consequences and ramifications, waiting for midterm elections with such anticipation, there has to be positive change, collectively retract claws and fangs, disarm and make peace, it's ok to admit failure and defeat, it doesn't diminish or make us weak, make sure to use ur voice and speak, especially if u see atrocity and something wrong, I wish these grown men would stop thinking with only their shlong, trying to fuck us, our judicial system should be way way more fair and just, why are so many still racist, and religious folks hate us, being gay doesn't make us evil, stop following the herd of sheeple, think for urselves, learn to share give and help, nobody can do it on their own, we all deserve a chance to create and build a family or happy home, love is love, enough is enough, the discrimination has gotta stop, especially from parents teachers and cops, we're in this world together, please try to strive and make things better!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/24/17

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

We're God & Heaven Sent/Meant To Be

U know us gays have a flare for the dramatics, but don't let a tough situation turn tragic, there's no need, sometimes u gotta dig deep and find peace, in whatever we can, remember we're just man, fallible by nature, a real family could never hate ya, sure there can be arguments and dislike, every relationship has had their share of fights, the important thing is to never give up, especially when there's still so much love, life seems to throw curve balls that get in the way, it's more important what we do than what we say, particularly when it comes to apologies, changed behaviors make the best I'm sorries, let music drown out thoughts and heal, it's not easy to express and communicate how we feel, I'm just a fluke, sometimes I'm so sappy and cheesy I make others wanna puke, we all gotta learn how to better cope when we're upset, so we don't wind up perpetuating regret, and that can be super hard, when it comes to matters of the heart, see my problem is I don't set boundaries and limits, gotta separate private life my relationship my art and business, everything has its place, why can't we disagree with grace, pasts can not be erased, and we shouldn't rush to the finish line with haste, instead slow down and enjoy the ride, sometimes there's nothing more releasing than a good ugly cry, maybe even hyperventilate a little, have u ever shed a tear from laughter or get tickled til u pittle, it's never good to gang up on someone, or make a person already down on their luck feel all alone and shunned, be there for them, that's the definition of a friend, show compassion and listen to help, it's impossible to get out of a bad situation without wealth, it's worse for those who don't know how to save themselves, eating and sleeping are vital to wellness and health, u may even have to force it, to breathe loosen the corset, let ur mind calm down and rest, just cuz they're older and wiser doesn't mean they know best, leave criticisms opinions and judgments at the door, always be positive have hope and faith that this isn't it there's way more, we're only four months in, it's still the beginning, of a long happy life together, I'll stand by ur side and be supportive til things get better, hold my hand and use my light, we write our own stories and decide what's wrong or right, I know we meet people for a reason it's destiny and fate, Kevin Michael Carvalho u are my soulmate, trust this isn't superficial lust, it's not a phase either forever ever and always or bust, it isn't how u start but how we finish, fuck the haters don't let them diminish, if they can't understand or comprehend, that's their problem they can't change adapt or bend, we're God and heaven sent/meant to be, I promise to work on my patience if u follow Pink's advice and "please don't leave me"!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/23/17

Friday, August 18, 2017

Unshakable & Unbreakable

Feels like we've been thru hell and back, I worry one or both of us will have a heart attack, life can be overwhelmingly stressful, especially having to worry about work problems home or medical, when did existence become so expensive, no wonder when it comes to marriage and kids I'm apprehensive, I can barely take care of myself, wish God would intervene and give me some magical divine help, like winning the lottery or having a hit single, seems I'm trapped mummified like a worm that can barely wiggle, stuck in an awful rut, fear has taken over my hope brevity confidence and guts, concerned I'll make the wrong decision, wind up broke bankrupt institutionalized or imprisoned, now-a-days everything comes with a warning, pensions like guarantees and warranties are in mourning, and then there's insurance which is a pyramid scheme/scam, I truly believe human beings are damned, cursed from birth, how much money we have defines our value and worth, forget ur talents and skills, u need to pay bills before finding happiness and being fulfilled, who knows I could wake up tomorrow, achieve my dreams of winning a Grammy and successfully eradicate my financial sorrow, then I have to create new goals, I've found my partner and he completes my soul, so I'd imagine he will define my next phase, life is a crazy adventure roller coaster maze, I'm reminded of a bumper sticker from my past, "we plan God laughs", and it's just so true, faith gives me strength and is the glue, ironically it keeps my feet planted on the ground, miracles are profound and all around, I think everyone and everything has a purpose, even all the bad shit and atrocities that hurts us, those are what promotes growth the most, stay humble and modest tho don't brag gloat or boast, we're all one catastrophe away from losing it all, death is a part of life like the law of gravity that states what rises will fall, no such thing as equality perfection or forever, but as long as I'm breathing I want it to be me and u together, it took me 35 years to find u Kevin, I'd absolutely move Earth and heaven, climb mountains and swim seas, to have u right by my side with me, without u I don't make sense, u have a strange calming trait that soothes me when I'm upset anxious sad depressed or tense, it makes me smile when u do, I love love love making u laugh too, u know the belly kind, I don't know how u put up with my over analyzing deep intense mind, totally supportive of my art, from the very first moment I saw u u stole my heart, let's build an unshakable unbreakable bond foundation or core, cuz like our song says "baby I'm urs"!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/18/17

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Nutritional Unconditional Love

It's sad how the past can make u feel insecure, I don't want u to have nightmares anymore, u are so special, all those fools can go to hell, cuz it's their loss, priceless is what u cost, I can't get over how unbelievably sexy u are, and believe me I traveled near and far, but nobody compares to u, when they say ya can't go looking for love it's true, it'll happen when u least expect, and like a domino effect, ur whole life changes for the better, I'm totally addicted to being together, he's just absolutely sexy, brings out the best in me, and makes me want to make him just as happy, we can all be a lil jealous timid freaky and wacky, with our own flaws fetishes and kinks, we don't care what other people think, what's important is each other, the road won't be smooth easy or butter, but there'll be globs of lube, maybe bank some dough from pay to view videos on x-tube, hot steamy porn is our norm, he's Portuguese and I'm Italian so we both get warm, especially at night, our stubbornness and tempers exacerbate bickering fights, which creates great make up sex, most will attest it's the best, but also helps our relationship get stronger, he needs to use foreplay and edging to train me to last longer, I'm terrible at cum control, finally got at his hole, and it was wicked amazing, sometimes we can be brash and brazen, our tone can be misconstrued, texting leads to miscommunication leaving us both confused, I prefer face to face, we're not promiscuously open like most other gays, there's more safety and security being monogamous, with our collective imaginations intimacy is never monotonous, it's always thrilling unexpected and exciting, there is most likely some nibbling tickling kissing and light biting, but neither of us are into scat or blood, we enjoy wrestling and competitive betting to see who bottoms or maybe gets tied up, trying to keep things raunchy and spicy, we don't take every moment for granted or lightly, since no ones promised tomorrow, without him I'd be consumed with heartache pain and sorrow, I worry about him, lying and cheating are the ultimate sins, and I'd never want to betray his trust, I've never been so in lust, I'm the luckiest guy in the world, I found the needle in the haystack diamond in the rough one in a million pearl, he's smart beautiful can cook and is handy, I love when he gets aggressively alpha and handsy, knocking my socks off, love is not a game or sport, it should be forever ever and always unconditional, who says cum isn't nutritional, doesn't milk do the body good, whenever we're around one another we're popping wood, I get joy making him smile all horny and aroused, I want him to make me his prized "vacca" which means cow, drain me dry, it's time to take a ride, "I'm a slave for u" Britney sings, with u by my side I can fly high cuz like Bette says "u are the wind beneath my wings"!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/16/17

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Love Isn't Perfect But It's Worth It

I fall more and more in love with him with every passing day, I never even dreamed I would feel this way, altho we bicker and fight, I know in my heart of hearts everything will be alright, in fact we get stronger, as the space between bouts gets longer, and before we know, we've grown, learning how to communicate better, I wanna be together forever, he makes me special, wanna plant roots down and settle, maybe get married buy a house and have kids, please don't judge us for how we want to live, gays deserve love too, he turns my gray skies blue, just his presence makes me safe, I'm running out of patience and can't wait, the weekends need to get here faster, I'm like a lost pup and he's my master, sniffing out his scent, I don't even desire getting bent, he is my new drug, I'm addicted to cuddling and kissing him as well as his hugs, he helps me believe I can not only fly but soar, I'm rich even tho I'm poor, our relationship ain't about sex or money, at times we both can be a bit cunty, tired hangry and moody, not only is he sexy but he's cool and groovy, I just want to be in his arms, I fell victim to his charms, and now I can't get enough, weird to think of how we started on Scruff, which changed my rationale of online dating, he's who I fantasize about when wanking, quite literally the man of my dreams, we are a power couple of a team, I know it sounds cheesy, but he truly completes me, gives me purpose and makes me whole, we're mates bonded by soul, I've forgotten who I was before him, how can any love be a sin, when did all these isms begin, if love conquers all than evil will never win, stand up for what's right, rejection and failure might bite, but having the strength to try again, absolutely heals and can mend, especially self confidence and esteem,  never ever give up on ur hopes wishes or dreams, find courage in accomplishing goals, don't lose sight of the destination cuz of expensive tolls, use ur partner as a totem, success is the best way to show em, all the haters and nay sayers, please don't do me any favors, I only care what my guy thinks, and he happens to like when I stink, he's what's important, why even bother flirting and courting, we both are monogamously committed, he's the reason I'm uplifted, and I hope to return the favor, tho I work in a cubicle while he's in a factory doing manual labor, we are 100% equal, top and bottom doesn't mean to us what it does to other people, yes we may role play, but at the end of the day, we treat each other with honor and respect, we look out for one another and protect, don't like to get upset, or live with regret, cuz tomorrow isn't promised, the trick is to be completely honest, can't get from lust to love without trust, putting urself out there is a must, I'm not saying to go looking, or act all slutty hookering, but happiness takes guts and risk, let light guide u out of this lonely dark dismal abyss, u can't wash dishes to pay the bill, and no one else can help u be fulfilled, I don't want or expect anybody to be perfect, Kevin already makes my existence worth it!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/15/17

Friday, August 11, 2017

Be Adaptive & Elastic & Change

Why are so many people I know struggling, instead of depressive drinking and fighting let's smoke weed make peace and start hugging, let love conquer all, evil will eventually fall, it's one of nature's fundamental laws, so much strife and atrocity but what's the cause, I always try to do the right thing, yet look what the universe brings, more hurdles obstacles and heartache, making it hard to pray and have faith it'll be ok, hope is like trust, fragile but a must, in order to succeed, we have to believe, that this isn't all we're meant to be, the best solution is distinguishing wants from needs, it helps lower expectations and lessens the amount of let downs, failed dreams and flakiness can leave scars that are quite profound, but letting ur past dictate the future, is like having ur cat or dog spade or neutered, gotta learn to let bad shit go, if I'm being honest I'm a tad bit hoe, but it's only cuz I came out so late, and never really had many dates, so I made up for lost time, but now I met a sexy man who brings out my shine, and makes me want to be better, fuck feet bondage and leather, I just want him, so our life together can begin, I wonder if I'll have the patience and strength, as well as the ability to not get bent, keep holding on and stay strong, take the advice of my own song, I amaze myself sometimes at just how wise and prolific, my poems are starting to improve towards insightful and terrific, they aren't for the uneducated and illiterate, my talent and skills are legitimate, I don't fake shit, wish someday I'll make it, win the coveted Grammy, shutting up all those who couldn't stomach or stand me, proving the haters wrong, I want my music career to be long, legendary epic timeless and classic, the human race needs to evolve/change becoming much more adaptive and elastic, stop trying to play God, take responsibility for that dad bod, and not push the blame onto others, treat one another as ur sister or brother, cuz in theory, we're actually all family, watch out for jealousy and envy, being gay isn't a justifiable reason to condemn me, so what if I like sex with men, I swear I feel like I'm being robbed by Uncle Ben, there's way too many taxes and fees, enough with this excessive need to please, it's rather unhealthy, how about u share some of ur good fortune if ur exceedingly wealthy, we could all use some help, when u lack empathy u only care about urself, that's pretty egotistical and selfish, if we don't unite to fight this world will get even more hellish, it's entirely up to us, to have the guts to say enough is enough, before it is too late, and mother nature a meteor or an A-bomb obliterates us away to create a blank slate!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/11/17

Thursday, August 10, 2017

The Future's Up To Fate

What if u found out u were gonna die, would u keep it secret and lie, or share the news, with a chosen few, it can't be easy to tell, many will have hope u will get well, except of course the doctors, and be sure they'll be haters nay sayers and mockers, everyone loves other people's sorrows, imagine knowing there will be no tomorrow, how could u wish that, karma will make get u back, throwing that out there in the universe, just makes matters worse, don't u believe in manifest destiny, I won't judge or assume someone's better than me, I have faith that we are all equal, there's both good and bad inherently in people, it's ultimately what u choose to do, that defines u, will u rise again or give up, why shouldn't we all deserve success and love, life often doesn't make sense, when emotions are high and tense, failure fluctuates and accidents happen, wakes and funerals are a time for remembrance not laughing, it's hard to celebrate tragedy, family and friends always matter to me, but in death there's out of sight out of mind, everybody should be missed and pined, cuz aren't we all special, can't rewind or back pedal, once it's been said or done, words can kill even when just making fun, our lives are much too precious, to dwell on the negative messes, focus on what's in ur control, be careful not to sell ur soul, the devil's willing and waiting to steal it, without empathy how can we feel shit, learn from the mistakes, find ur place, home is where the heart is, flying solo is the hardest, we're meant to be in pairs, u know they care if he or she shares, that's based an old saying, writing poetry is my way of praying, I often talk to myself, doesn't mean I need professional mental health help, my grams used to say it's a sign of genius, without passion or purpose existence is meaningless, at least like ur job/work, stop trying to pawn off responsibility like a jerk, when ur mood is down and depressed, be grateful and aware of what u have and why ur blessed, just to wake up another day, is miraculous in its own way, altho it might seem like breath isn't a gift, music is supposed to inspire and uplift, relate and connect, pay attention to who u elect, policy over popularity, the President needs to rule with bipartisan clarity, instead of divisiveness and fear, politics isn't truth or dare, we don't have patience for more trial and error, how did we get involved in the never-ending war on terror, oh that's right Bush, Trump really needs a push or kick in the tush, cuz he's embarrassing our whole country, he's not savvy with business he was born into money, in fact he'd be richer leaving his holdings in an untouched trust, his looks didn't win Melania over with lust, I think she would say too he's nuts, she obviously has bigger hands balls and guts, cuz they're still together, I can't not wonder if Bernie had won things would be so much better, but we have to deal with our collective decision, even if Muslims and lgbtq are put in concentration camps or prison, the future is up to fate, maybe perhaps things can and will change before it's too late!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/10/17

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Achieve The Dream: My Story Of Epic & Legendary Glory

Why are ya'll afraid to listen to music that makes u feel and think, lyricism and conscious inspiration are becoming extinct, it's like we lost our soul, what is an artist's ultimate goal, these days it seems it's all about the fast cash, like life's a 50 yard dash, fuck slow and steady, they'll pass u over and step on u if u ain't ready, I never actually realized, it's the reason we have two eyes, keep one forward and the other looking back, it's sad how things from ur past, can build self doubt and fear, u shouldn't be embarrassed or sorry for shedding tears, even if ur a guy, don't let it wound ur pride, and learn to control that ego, some of the most surgically altered vain people I've met were in Weho, what's with Hollywood's need for youth, is the government just inept and unable to give us the truth, letting us decide, cuz u get no say in who lives or dies, focus on the economy and our failing capitalistic democracy, we're the laughing stock of the whole globe after we showed our hypocrisy, conquering other places, ignoring the money and resources we've wasted, when we could've been bettering our own, fuck not having free health care and excessive high interest college loans, why are we the only industrialized first world wealthy country not to provide these, everyone can blatantly see the corruption and greed, but nobody wants to do a damn thing, "Joe don't talk politics or religion when u write poetry rap or sing", ull never obtain commercial success that way, ur already short bald white and gay, which doesn't really help my cause, stereotypes and ignorant assumptions give me such pause, how have we not learned yet, why haven't I earned respect, how many songs have u written and performed, big studio labels are literally the devil's spawn, ripping off true talent, in the court of opinion there ain't no fair or balanced, u are ur reputation image and bank account, do u have the ability to shock wow and astound, cuz I sure as hell do, if u can't then take a seat or simply move, ur blocking my road, whenever I'm in need of motivation I put on Whitney Houston's "Tell Me No", it's all attitude and sass, any and all haters can kiss my ass, I ain't never gonna stop or give up, I don't do it for ur approval fame or fortune it's just for the love, the rest is up to a lil luck and mainly fate, if I make it great, but if for some reason I don't, regret and shame are never embraced or condoned, I'll hold my head high, won't be bashful or shy, and still will share my story, even being from a small state like lil Rhodey I believe I'll achieve my dream of epic and legendary glory!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/9/17

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Everyone Pays To Play Ain't No Cheap Or For Free

Do I make u happy, why's everything gotta be so snappy, eternally grumpy, I like my clothes baggy and frumpy, kinda self conscious, always being negative's obnoxious, learned to stay away from certain topics, fantasize letting go of bs drama and simply drop shit, instead of harping and rehashing, my man is so sexy debonair and dashing, with dark features that are visually striking, most guys aren't to my liking, and believe me I've searched far and wide, I love to show and flaunt him off with pride, cuz I still say I'm the lucky one, he helps me let loose and have a lil fun, since I'm usually too serious responsible and over analytically deep, growing up in my parent's house doesn't mean my life's been easy street, don't assumingly judge, even with money u never know who u can really trust, altho I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, why does it seem wealth dictates clout, just look at Trump's political know how, wish he'd slow down or go now, how hasn't he been impeached yet, I'm taking bets, will he complete his first term, win a second or be Berned, after all isn't age just a number, Sanders can turn a Trumper, I mean how could he not, have u actually listed to the ideas he's got, what's the problem with becoming more socialistic, we should also go green and holistic, invest in our infrastructure, building a wall is the horse of a different color, it's plain retarded not to mention stupid, do u think Patti Stanger is a modern day pop cupid, or what about Miss Cleo, they're rebooting Will & Grace but Will won't be married with a kid to Vince nor Grace Leo, writers from Roseanne are bringing Dan back from the dead, I want Saved By The Bell and Charmed to return instead, but beggars can't be choosers, guess true fans are the losers, cuz the decision is execs, and boy they don't know best, look what they've done to music movies and tv, nothing good comes cheap anymore let alone free, not even basic cable, this economy is so unstable, hope ya'll are ready for the Great Collapse, our own government stabbed us in our backs, we're all basically zombies robots and slaves, where everyone who plays pays, and at the end of the day, we might be too far gone to be saved, not to be Debbie Downer, I pray my boyfriend sleeps sounder, cuz a lack of it is detrimental to his health, and tho he makes my heart melt, it would undoubtedly break and shatter, if something happened to him I'd surely die cuz he's all that matters, he gives me passion and purpose, yes we may fight and bicker but it's worth it, love makes the world go round, it's absolutely magical divine and existentially profound, gives goose bumps butterflies and wows, with or without diamond rings marriage certificates or vows!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/8/17

Monday, August 7, 2017

The Doom & Gloom Boom's Shrooming & Looming

There are some days I feel on autopilot, using the hanky code can be confounding is that purple magenta fuchsia or violet, cuz they all look the same, but that's a dangerous game, if u don't know what ur flagging, people do wild and crazy kinky things u couldn't even imagine, that's why I went to San Fran for gay college, it's the mecca where u can always be safe to explore ur talents skills and find some self knowledge, life ain't easy for sheezy, I think everyone's a lil bit greedy and needy believe me, we all have vices and flaws, just when ud think uve got enough u want more, first the fame then the fortune, I don't know what award shows uve been watching, it's getting so expensive to keep up with the Kardasian's the modern day Joneses, but what nobody talks about or knows is, it's all alluding a confusing illusion, what relationships once money's involved haven't been ruined, guess ya'll forgot it's the root of all evil, u stupid naive and ignorant sheeple, open up ur eyes, ur souls hearts and minds, change ur perspective, consciousness is elected, otherwise ur in the dark, what's better being book or street smart, wisdom comes from experiences, u must accept differences and variances, learn to grow and adapt, be careful what u give cuz karma will make sure u get that back, the universe is a funny thing, pretend ur all alone when u dance or sing, and just let loose, cuz time's short and the point is aloof, there's only what u do or don't, did u truly mean can't or won't, don't live unfulfilled or get consumed by regret or fear, wish the wealthy 1% would show they cared and share, I mean really no one needs more than a billion dollars, might as well just put us in concentration camps jail chains or collars, essentially we're all slaves, barely making it to pay days, taxed up the ying yang, while what's shrooming and looming over us is a doom and gloom boom without the big bang, and these gray clouds trump and shroud, now's the opportunity for minorities to come together loud and proud, stand up for our inalienable rights, sometimes even the good must kill and fight, otherwise corruption prevails, be wary of smooth sails, there's no such thing as a free lunch, why procrastinate putting urself in a bind/crunch, every chance or choice is precious, love success and happiness far out-measures, lying stealing or cheating, failure is the only thing that requires defeating, ur logo or mascot should be the phoenix, what happened to upliftingly inspiring music seems lyrics today are irrelevant and meaningless, it's quantity over quality, robots taking over isn't an improbability, it's a virtual reality, I didn't use that double entendre casually, it was on purpose, perhaps Jesus' crucifixion cursed us, I mean it exhibited human's crab like behavior, we murdered our own savior, and didn't even blink nor think twice, guess we didn't listen and pay attention to history cuz we seem to be repeating the same strife and plights!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/7/17    

Friday, August 4, 2017

Bubba I'm Yours

Worrying isn't love, it shows a lack of faith and trust, u underestimate my lust, believe me ur more than enough, in fact ur all I've ever dreamed of, I swear ur a gift from up above, I promise we'll get thru this, life isn't fair or Utopian bliss, it's chaos confusion and madness, all the fighting creates high anxiety and sadness, it's one thing to bicker, but I don't wanna exacerbate ur problems and make u sicker, u need some peace of mind heart and soul, it's time to establish some new goals, I am almost done with my album and I have u, I truly am gratefully blessed and the luckiest dude, I know ur afraid of losing me, I'm much more insecure than I seem, I just hide it with my smile, we aren't defined by our successes mistakes tribulations or trials, it's how we treat others, do u help and give to ur fellow sisters and brothers, and if u can get back on ur feet after u trip or fall, I'm so sorry I'm not always there when u call, curve balls repeatedly get in the way, I thought I was cursed to be alone because I'm gay, I traveled so many places, but it all wound up being dead ends and more mazes, so I had to back track a little, do u ever stop and wonder am I speaking in riddle, why can't I communicate and get my point across, I never wanna piss u off or annoy "the boss", so to speak, I love the way ur feet reek, and yet the rest of u smells like downy, I simply adore when u act goofy and clowny, u work so damn hard, but still assist my dad with shit especially the yard, u are my world Kevin, my divinely tangible slice of heaven, there's no one else I wanna hug and kiss, ur the best to cuddle and snuggle with, why are u so fucking sexy, I try to spoil him when he lets me, but he's just as stubborn and hard headed as I am, I will forever be his biggest fan, thru the ups downs good and bad, wish he could see the jealousy invoked by what we have, some people go their whole lives lonely and alone, I can't wait til we make our own happy home, come on baby give ur pig pup his bone, crazy kinky rough sex is welcomed and condoned, the consenting and willing can't be raped, but we can totally be each other's escape, when it all gets overwhelming and way too much, just get ur skinny lil ass on that bus, come not only to visit...stay, til we're old and gray, altho we're already Bon Jovi style "half way there", the thought of losing him is my hugest fear, cuz there's really no point to my existence without him, I gotta learn to be less defensive and listen, respect perspective requires space, stop texting serious stuff and talk face to face, maybe start back at basics, forgiveness and time may heal but never erases, repetitive unchanged behavior devalues apologies, I'm sorry for my quirky qualities sexual policies and oddities, but this is who I am, I promise u our relationship is not a sham or scam, u are a gazillion percent the love of my life, I don't need a diamond ring or a marriage license to be ur husband/wife, fuck gender pronouns stereotypes and roles, and all those envious trouble making slutty hoes, I am determined to prove like Alessia Cara sings "baby I'm yours" someway somehow, hey hunny bubba's ready for some remote controlled electro chastity fun and exchanging matching collars now, break out the camo harness white hanky and yellow jock, I'll flag gray let's play I'll bottom u top!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/4/17

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Rebuild & Revitalize

Why do we plan for the worst and hope for the best, go immediately negative when thinking about what ifs and trying to guess, it's hard to sit and patiently wait, for the courts to ultimately decide ur fate, while I'm over here questioning where's the justice, I can't stand the political and criminal justice systems corruptness, it's quite atrociously disgusting, no wonder everybody's so paranoid and distrusting, this world seems fucked up and getting worse, are human beings inherently cursed, we need solutions and answers, are we a disease synonymous with cancer, spreading consuming and destroying everything, instead of acting like a president Trump's a tyrannical dictator worse than Hitler or any king, ruining democracy as we know it, wish ya'll wouldn't perpetuate this ghost shit, leave that for the dead, spirits only live on in our hearts and heads, thru our fallible memories, it's a lil funny how we even cherish celebrities and frenemies, trying not to tarnish one's legacy, hope u apply that to when it's time to remember me, please focus more on the good, sometimes trials and tribulations aren't understood, hence the saying "walk a mile in another's shoes", before judging others I recall the golden rule, if there is a God why doesn't he care, how come life just isn't fair, what's with all the pain tragedy and atrocity, but what really bothers me, is when people exploit the unknown for profit, politicians churches cops and even parents need to stop it, skewing the truth with white lies, can be a child's demise, cuz when they finally grow up, they won't know the difference between lust and love, one's superficial the other meaningfully deep, another powerful idiom is if u don't sow u won't reap, I'm more confused now than ever, why even allow us to meet and be together, if the universe is gonna just take him away, sometimes I ponder if I'd be better off if I wasn't gay, maybe it would all be simpler and easier, do u ever wish u were taller or meatier, jealousy and envy are like money the root of evil, that's why I literally hate sheeple, don't be distracted by what others have focus on urself, if u have extra why not give and help, instead of this excessive greedy hoarding, right now I totally fantasize and daydream about boarding, taking my man leaving and starting over, if we need someone to lean on we got each other's shoulder, imagine if there was a fountain of youth that stopped us from getting older, but karma exists and rolls over like a Mack truck/boulder, crushing faith and hope, sick of society thinking alcohol and cigarettes are legally ok but not dope, and that's considered medicinal, honestly our country's downfall was predictable, eventually prosperity ends, ya'll no longer have to pretend, record numbers every year, exacerbates my fear, this unequal distribution of wealth, and no right to health is whacked, 1% of the population has the same amount as the 99% combined and that's a fact, let's start mending and fixing by rebuilding the middle class, do and fight for the things "we the people" want and ask, give us a chance to thrive not just survive at least, make this country great again the land of opportunity and revitalize that American dream!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/3/17

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

How Will U Remember Me

Whoops accidents happen, not down with entrapment, or pointless mind games, music success for me isn't about the fortune or fame, it's about reaching people and connecting, we need to be more involved in who we're electing, cuz this shit shouldn't be allowed again, it's impossible to stay calm and zen, as soon as I hear that asshole's voice, it brings me back to a time when we had Bernie as a legitimate choice, and we simply blew it, keep telling the bf to have hope and faith we'll make it thru shit, even tho it seems impossible, together we are unstoppable, love lifts us up so we're bigger and stronger, I know it appears never-ending but just hold on a lil longer, the storm is almost over, lay ur head on my shoulder, and let out a good ugly cry, losing him would be the reason I gave up or died, 34 years is a lot of wasted years, always the odd man out among peers, cuz I wasn't all about sex, not gonna lie I just figured I was hexed, I mean I'm so stubborn and way too intense, have trouble holding onto friends, everyone moves on and forward, relationships can be volatile and torrid, especially since most my life I've been independent and pretty selfish, but this world can be utterly cruel and hellish, without someone to hold ur hand, stand by u and understand, at the end of the day I'm just a man, trying to do the best I can, given the resources we have, I think we'd both be amazing dads, it's hard to distinguish false facts from the truth, the government and media have skewed the two, so they're basically interchangeably one in the same, remember when we thought Bush was insane, he's tame compared to Trump, the US has become a numb dumbed down dump, before we were the melting pot land of opportunity living the American dream, now we're controlled by fear corruption and greed, it's rather disgusting, how our leaders can't have rational discussions, about everything from health care to infrastructure to building a pointless expensively wasteful wall, our once great country was always destined to eventually fall, and we're very far away from grace, perhaps this is karma or fate, policing the world in the name of democracy, we're born fallible with original sin but I'm beginning to think humans are synonymous with hypocrisy, we never learn lessons, totally ungrateful for all our blessings, constantly ignoring history, where our common sense heart and soul went is still a mystery, commercialism now defines us, can't fight and win wars without a backbone spine or guts, caught up in the superficial not realizing it might be just lust, the beautiful create such a fuss, like they're special, kids don't backpedal, cuz that's hitting the brakes, sometimes I wish I could simply shake awake the fakes, please stop pretending, our values morals and ethics need mending, we're too consumed in illusion/virtual reality, better put ur guard or dukes up for self defense before u become another casualty, what do u want ur legacy to be, I want others to smile laugh think feel and get inspired when they're remembering me!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/2/17

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Letting Our Freak Flags Fly

My handsome hubby, ain't no fuddy duddy dummy, he's a super sexy stud, gives the best kisses and big bear hugs, very masculine but still affectionate, and in case I forget to mention it, he is simply the love of my life, I knew it was right at first sight, and he even was the one who pursued me, jokes how I'm a shorty Italian with a lil mix of Bruce Lee, cuz of my chinky eyes, uses his worn socks as stinky ties, whether it's spreadeagle to the bed, or mummified with shrink wrap and duct tape from my feet to head, while wiggling his meaty toes, til they're covering my Jewish looking nose, wafting his sweaty manly scent, breathing it in again and again, all I can do is helplessly squirm, perhaps trapped leather sleepsacked like a worm, yeah so what, we're both kinky as fuck, he likes to flag yellow tho, I've got a far from mellow flow, maybe airing out too much dirty laundry, neither of us are gaudy or tawdry, much more dl and low key, I get great pleasure making him hot horny steamy and moany, but he must have every last drop of my cum, I'm definitely not a one and done hun, excessive edging and milking is way more fun, he's Portuguese so he better handles the sun, and can drink me under the table, who knew dreams come true like in fairy tales and fables, we're each other's happily-ever-after, he's just waiting to make me have to pee from excessive laughter, beginning to get into it good and rough, this mustn't be just lust, cuz I think about him all the time, it's not only bump and grind, we enjoy one another's company, still learning some sarcasm's mean not funny, so gotta be careful not to cross the line, I worry about achieving limelight shine, since he's very possessive, a tad bit over protective, and wicked jealous, his dick is hateful and hellish, with half a hood, didn't realize it for a week cuz when he's around me he's always popping wood, but I even love his flaws and imperfections, developing weird obsessions, of flipping things reversing roles, hurting his hole, cuz pain can become pleasure, inflicting it while I tease and stroke his member, he'll be tied and tethered, rubbing licking and lightly biting nipples makes my orgasm even better, his need training, could spend multiple hours draining him and that's exhilarating, but I'm also completely content, cuddling chastised so I can't pitch a tent, allowing my balls to fill up, sometimes I find I'm almost acting like a lil pup, which is cool cuz he has experience being a handler, love love love the fact he's an alpha dominant commander, hopefully one day soon, we'll exchange vows and instead of rings collars too!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/7/17

We All Need Our Other Half To Be Complete

It's great to be smart, but what about having heart, or perhaps a conscious soul, seems most folks are lacking common sense on the whole, what the heck is wrong with people, they're basically crazy lazy or plain feeble, lost their value and worth, not only did Jesus curse us since birth, but he has caused more wars from his simple existence, success takes passionate drive along with consistent persistence, a little bit of both talent and luck, and since I'm likably cute not yet quite sexy as fuck, I gotta supposedly have gimmicks and tricks, I'm raw uncensored concentrated depth and not into superfluous shticks and shit, let my music move woo and touch u, inspire and make u think too, cuz all this mind numbing dumbing down pop garbage crap, we've generically gentrified and genetically altered gangsters to spit whack commercial rap, when it used to be just an acronym for rhythm and poetry, u know how u know it's me, ull hear me whisper my tag line, hope some day I can tour the world cuz fans want to hear and see me rhyme, always promoting my signature peace and one love, I'm all about smoking some bud and giving out hugs, I appreciate the friction of human connection, every single thing on this Earth and in the universe is a blessing, we just haven't figured out how, the time is now, stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, don't let the government or any authority mute ya, cuz it's our voice, and u have the choice, to stand up and speak ur mind, take bigger risks and explore more to see what u find, try not to be afraid of starting over again, with this ginormous population problem ull have no trouble making new friends, u can finally do the things u truly want, change up ur font, from that stereotypical standard Times New Roman, the best adventures happen when ur lost and have no expectation of where we're going, just enjoying the ride, make sure u have at least one someone whom u can confide, remember even ignorant sheeple aren't inherently evil, altho trust is impossibly difficult to heal, especially once it's been broken or compromised, thou shall not judge since we've all told lies, it's in our fallible nature, making mistakes doesn't mean they hate ya, u won't be liked by everyone, hanging solo constantly isn't very fun, life's way more fulfilling, when ur out there mingling, struggling yet striving, muddling thru the conniving, hurdling all obstacles, turning into valid role models, leading by example, no longer stepped on walked over or trampled, rise from the push trip or fall, this ain't no fairy tale Cinderella story where u left ur glass slipper at the ball, screw shoes just stand still firmly on ur own two bare feet, be like me spread those wings and fly free to find ur pair please, anyone who's found theirs agrees, u both need the other half in order to be complete!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/1/17