Feels like we've been thru hell and back, I worry one or both of us will have a heart attack, life can be overwhelmingly stressful, especially having to worry about work problems home or medical, when did existence become so expensive, no wonder when it comes to marriage and kids I'm apprehensive, I can barely take care of myself, wish God would intervene and give me some magical divine help, like winning the lottery or having a hit single, seems I'm trapped mummified like a worm that can barely wiggle, stuck in an awful rut, fear has taken over my hope brevity confidence and guts, concerned I'll make the wrong decision, wind up broke bankrupt institutionalized or imprisoned, now-a-days everything comes with a warning, pensions like guarantees and warranties are in mourning, and then there's insurance which is a pyramid scheme/scam, I truly believe human beings are damned, cursed from birth, how much money we have defines our value and worth, forget ur talents and skills, u need to pay bills before finding happiness and being fulfilled, who knows I could wake up tomorrow, achieve my dreams of winning a Grammy and successfully eradicate my financial sorrow, then I have to create new goals, I've found my partner and he completes my soul, so I'd imagine he will define my next phase, life is a crazy adventure roller coaster maze, I'm reminded of a bumper sticker from my past, "we plan God laughs", and it's just so true, faith gives me strength and is the glue, ironically it keeps my feet planted on the ground, miracles are profound and all around, I think everyone and everything has a purpose, even all the bad shit and atrocities that hurts us, those are what promotes growth the most, stay humble and modest tho don't brag gloat or boast, we're all one catastrophe away from losing it all, death is a part of life like the law of gravity that states what rises will fall, no such thing as equality perfection or forever, but as long as I'm breathing I want it to be me and u together, it took me 35 years to find u Kevin, I'd absolutely move Earth and heaven, climb mountains and swim seas, to have u right by my side with me, without u I don't make sense, u have a strange calming trait that soothes me when I'm upset anxious sad depressed or tense, it makes me smile when u do, I love love love making u laugh too, u know the belly kind, I don't know how u put up with my over analyzing deep intense mind, totally supportive of my art, from the very first moment I saw u u stole my heart, let's build an unshakable unbreakable bond foundation or core, cuz like our song says "baby I'm urs"!
Peace and 1,
JC
8/18/17
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