The holidays are fast approaching, on selling my music I could use some assistance/coaching, I'm not the best advertising or marketing, how can I stop my heart from hardening, looks like I'm cursed to work an office job, I feel like the universe and God rob, every single day of my life, overwhelmed by financial strife, that I can't focus on what I actually want, people are more concerned with the beat or font, rather that what I'm saying, I refuse to waste anymore time praying, or worrying for the matter, failed expectations just makes me sadder, constantly let down, the anxiety and frustration's profound, got nobody to blame but myself, the psych meds help, but I miss smoking pot a lot, wish a record label would give me a shot, I just know I'm super talented at rapping and writing, try to better my singing and refrain from fighting, especially with drag queens, many fags are mean, self absorbed petty and catty, in the gay world I'm a short bald ugly troll/fatty, except when I'm on the mic, I feel safe secure alright and liked, but only fuckable, not simply huggable or lovable, perhaps I'm trouble, cuz I wanna cuddle, too emotionally needy, why can't I be more business like and greedy, instead of always sharing the wealth, finally got ahold of my health, now I just wanna lose some weight, everyday I'm becoming more and more afraid, of what's happening to our country, this tax bill ain't funny, our democracy's eroding, the hand I was dealt in cards a poker pro would be folding, guess I'm stupid or just gullibly naive, ignorance is a real pet peeve, but I'm human too, another hypocritical fool, striving to change, which makes me uniquely strange, as others prefer to stay the same, to them this is all a silly game, with no consequence or responsibility, they're lackadaisically willy nilly, like they've got endless opportunities and chances, I'm not one of those performers who also dances, I've got a knack for creating songs, that apparently can be too deep intense and long, told don't show intelligence so much, success takes a lil skill but mostly luck, so I guess I'm screwed, altho I've never been booed, very rarely applauded, hope I never get audited, but I would like to achieve my dream, what a Grammy award winning selling out stadiums artist looks like and means!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
12/21/17
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