Is Ur Intent Justice Or Revenge

Ask urself what is ur intent, justice or revenge, acting superior trying to even the score, there's no competition who is discriminated and oppressed more, ur missing the point, this excessive political correctness got me annoyed, I'm frustrated by people preaching white privilege's historical guilt and shame, truth and equality are not a game, I am not comparing, simply life experience sharing, how dare u say I'm wrong, where do ya'll think I get the content of my poetry or songs, u don't know my whole journey, I forgive but won't forget those who've burned me, attacking my reputation and character, does wisdom equate masters, so many misnomers and presumption, these bullies have tremendous gall and gumption, attacking completely innocents, is the end of days really imminent, cuz evil has won and in control, apparently we sold our collective soul, so I'm stuck sinking in this shit ship, I'm not impressed by shticks or gimmicks, be ur authentic self, I try to always genuinely help, open ur hearts and minds, u get so much further being respectful and kind, never just fall in line, nor dim ur shine, and let ur freak flag fly, have hope and faith that everything will be better than just fine, don't let fear rule u, like fools do, scratch every itch, being courageous and fierce doesn't make u a bitch, be careful ur fire doesn't extinguish, consent must always be relinquished, try ur best, most of existence is trial and error or plain guess, we need to actually listen, avoid debt aka financial prison, have compassion and empathy, be epic and legendary, we're all only one special and unique, I'm at age 36 and still think I haven't piqued, gotta keep at it trying, shouldn't waste time worrying whining and crying, u can't change people, why isn't marijuana fully legal, wish I had a bigger social circle, and there weren't all these impossible obstacles to hurdle, when did it all get so complicated, we must be chipped and inoculated, like our privacy and bodies don't belong to us, a key element missing between me and my government is trust, I've simply had quite enough, I wish our president would learn to lead with love!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
12/7/18

Can Only The Straight Black Rap

Some say don't rap, unless ur straight or black, who says so tho, do the best u know bro, fuck other people's opinions, they don't know a thing about hyperbole alliteration or synonyms, I'm a grammar Nazi, with this vocabulary who's gonna stop me, I'm intelligent witty and original, keeping the swearing to a minimal, but my content is still consciously racy, I give zero fucks if ya'll hate me, religious extremism can't even save me, lately stability's been shaky, we touch upon the truth vaguely, tip toeing around, almost terrified of being profound, trying to bring levels up not down, my smile's become a frown, cuz I'm still super sad, about the passing of my dad, my new guardian angel, is our collective fate all entangled, sinking in the same ship, attending college doesn't mean ur fully equipped, life is fragile and complicated, I feel tremendous pressure that stress seems almost obligated, helping us rise to the occasion, welcoming compromise would be amazing, I'm tired of only sacrifice, a lack of success will not suffice, I've paid my dues, are God and Jesus a ruse, I'm confused, am I destined to be used and abused, how many times must I lose, experience the boos from my shoes, u get up on stage, totally fearless and unafraid, performing a poem or song u wrote, go consistently to ur bill paying day job yet still hold hope, somehow manage to keep the faith, how long can u wait, as u contemplate if living is in vain, fulfilling my passion is not a game, it's my purpose, we gain more wisdom from stuff that hurts us, but what I have learned is no good deed goes unpunished, I wish the amount of times karma bit me in the butt was oneish, u def get what u give, is the Illuminati a myth, perhaps we'll never finid out, how does one claim clout, I use my voice loud and proud, fuck all ya'll who say that in hip hop no gays or whites allowed!

Peace and 1
Joe Conscious
12/5/18 

Ignore The Judgmental Criticisms & Opinions Of Minions

What if this is the best life has to offer, really wish success was softer, nobody ever said it was easy, but why are people so sleazy, the rich are still greedy, and won't help the needy, the only way we'll make it is together, New Englanders complain too much about the weather, u should already know there are four seasons, I'm starting to think we'll never get answers or reasons, even in death, do u think everyone has regrets, I think there's so much better yet to come, only u decide when ur done, don't let others dictate, whether ur a failure or great, it's all about self worth, u grow more from hurt, what's important is u try, u don't have to justify why, follow ur gut and heart, we can't forever stay young like Peter Pan or Bart, we all age, it's tough to navigate this maze, it's very imperative, u don't misinterpret my observations as negative, I'm being genuine and pragmatic, don't enable or practice the bad habit, of reacting without thinking, time moves forward even while blinking, everything can change in an instant, what happened to the cigarette brand Winston, not that I really care, just smoking pot I don't have the same fear, not that there's no consequence, the medical and science industry are both on the fence, it shouldn't be category one, make sure to take vitamin D if there isn't any sun, otherwise get ready for seasonal depression, I like to keep peeps guessing, and on their toes, I hate the phrase "hey Joe what do u know", my answer is everything, I feel joyous and merry when I rap and sing, but funny enough I'm not a big dancer, I'm gay but not a prancer, in a league of my own, not very anxious to buy a home, unless I was staying put for at least ten years, I think I have 1000 Sirius XM shares, I haven't ever touched, I don't believe I have winning the lottery type of luck, but I truly have faith at least one of my songs will eventually go viral, this country is headed in a major downhill spiral, I'm sure this poem is not cohesive, eh fluidity who needs it, laugh out loud, I try not to use harsh words to bout, cuz they too can do damage, hurt feelings won't just vanish, healing happens eventually, stay strong mentally, never let others crush ur spirit, I know u say u listened but did u hear it, the passion and the pain, no 2 people even twins are the same, embrace ur uniqueness, be hopeful and don't dwell on the bleakness, usually it'll all be ok, everyone moves at their own pace, ur never too old, to have dreams and goals, lead by example, shouldn't let hate trample, love does conquer all, u can get back up if u fall, just keep ur head up, u don't need to have wings to fly high with the doves, let ur mind go blind or divine to soar, simply living u learn more, not all kids need to go to college, I mean haven't we learned there's a difference between wisdom and knowledge, some things can't be taught, I despise trying to be bought, friends aren't automatically fans, stop comparing urself to others and meet ur own demands, ignore jealous haters with their judgmental criticisms and opinions, would u rather be king or one of their many minions?!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
11/1/18

Laterz Haters

They say the law of nature is survival of the fittest, now-a-days it seems more like thrival or Snoop style thrivival of the richest, it's impossible to get ahead, gonna be in debt even after I'm dead, unless my music blows up, I'm all about truth consciousness and love, there's enough negativity doom gloom and evil, who's the revolutionary leader who'll reign in all these sheeple, we've gotten outta control and outta hand, I know I'm only one man, but isn't that all it takes, I can't endure anymore funerals or wakes, especially great legends, Christmas for me has nothing to do with presents, it's about family, even tho this time of year is stressful insanity, I find the simple joys, ur never too old to play with toys, u know guys and their gadgets, I attract lost souls like a magnet, but I'm ok with that, I have faith the universe has my back, no good deed goes unpunished, randomly craving some hummus, specifically the garlic one, even tho my breath will get me shunned, I don't care, I have bigger fears, like never making it as a successful artist, I wanna work the smartest not the hardest, so slow and steady, when my 15 minutes comes I'll be prepared and ready, I try to keep my raw talent cultivated, like exercise it's not easy becoming motivated, hoping eventually it'll all pay off, I'm sure many will laugh and scoff, they say uve made it when u have haters, now I have no problem just peace signing "laterz", I'm out, tired of the same ole bout, I need to go on an adventure, perhaps even collaborate or mentor, helping others help ourselves, don't define urself by a lack of wealth, most of us are in the same boat, I'm surprised they haven't surrounded the White House with a moat, don't gloat, be cautious of the words u spoke, try not to burn bridges, don't discriminate against women blacks gays or midgets, we need to more accepting, even the poor need protecting, our government should do better at infrastructure investments, instead of letting fall by the waistline, facts aren't usually heard thru the grapevine, that's just rumor and gossip, wish people would use more common sense reason and logic, which reminds me to make an apology, as a rapper I like practicing and creating new words that add to my phraseology, do u have a thesaurus handy, I prefer any flavor ice cream over candy, it's simply a preference, most don't get my sarcasm or my obscure movie reference, my wit goes over their heads, thank God I'm off all psychiatric meds, my mind is clear, sometimes my poetry isn't written to share, but I always still post, I don't need to be the best or have the most, I like being an average Joe, with a killer rap flow, which as a gay white boy makes me unique, I proudly wear and wave my flag labeling me a freak, and like to think I have yet to pique, apparently I'm alluring cuz of my mystique, keeping peeps guessing, while always analyzing and wrestling with life's never-ending lessons, it's impossible to understand how failure and mistakes can be disguised blessings, if existence is a fated tossed salad then the only thing in our control is what type of dressing!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/25/18

I Wanna Drive The Ride & Decide Whether I Live Or Die

Life is a ride, filled with lows and highs, ride the waves, try and be brave, cuz when fear rules, we tolerate abuse, we all like to bitch and complain, many are superficial and vain, beauty isn't just skin deep, wish I was on a win streak, instead I've had a string of not bad but terrible luck, I may occasionally bottom but I'm not used to being fucked, especially by the universe on the regular, must I remind y'all government is secular, there's separation of church and state for a reason, it's hard to fathom or believe Trump hasn't committed treason, I'm sick of billion dollar companies not paying a fair share of taxes, there seems to be only the rich and the poor brackets, while the top has more wealth than the bottom combined, u can't get ahead these days by ur basic 9 to 5 grind, many have a passion hobby or job on the side, along with Pac and Biggie hip hop died, there's a lack of music with inspirational substance, too much of statistics is short sighted lacking circumference, I play the long game, fuck guilt and shame, I'm done being Catholic, traffic drives me spastic, as we get older we become less elastic, wonder if they'll invent something to eradicate plastic, so we'll have less toxic waste, existence isn't a race, focus more on ur imprint, most adults are potty trained infants, children dressed up as grown, why are so many trans and gays still disowned, family inherently implies unconditionally loved, am I only the one capable of blind trust, people naturally suck, evil is running a muck, chaos and divisiveness is rampant, while the Kardasians are glamping, what's the point of hope, faith is an invisible tightrope, can u take the first step off the edge, or make that leap when u can't see a safety net, some say courage others claim insanity, how do u express anger without profanity, it's like being sad without tears, cultivating my art took years and years, and ya'll don't see my struggle, nor the shit I had to muddle, it ain't easy, and I'm not greedy or sleazy, I've paid my dues, stop reporting fake news, spreading gossip and rumor, always been a late bloomer, but at least I eventually get there, we need to be more socialistic and share, especially when it comes to resources, enough posturing and mongering using armed forces, or even worse nuclear weapons, these sheep need shepherding, that's a near rhyme, put on some R Kelly "Bump 'N Grind", let ur body go and move, while ur mind soothes to the groove, gotta find a way to relax, I barely have the desire to shave let alone wax, get over it I'm hairy, and a faggot/fairy, that's just who I am, I wonder if God laughs when we plan, do we have any sort of control, I didn't give permission for our leader to sell our soul, I wanna drive, so at least I can take the responsibility for whether I live or die!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/23/18

Evolve Blossom Or Bloom Before Collapse/Impending Doom

Will oppression and discrimination ever truly stop, why are republicans so hell bent on making it impossible for gays to adopt, perhaps next they'll take away our right to marry, I'm excited for the new album "Caution" by Mariah Carey, I too, have been writing new tunes, just been in that mood, I'm coming off abrasive and rude, but I'm just fed up, with lack of success and love, it's like I'm cursed, RI is the worst, such a small bubble, when ur bored it's easy to get into trouble, that's why I've been keeping to myself, there's only so much fam and friends can do to help, sometimes simply sitting with me in silence, can calm the chaos and mental violence, I'm agitated and stressed, always giving 100% of my best, but that doesn't seem to be good enough, life ain't fair it's tough, but music pulls me thru, it isn't what u say but if u do, most don't walk their talk, they'd rather stare and gawk, criticize gossip and judge, gotta learn to let go and not hold onto a grudge, I'm obsessed with ice cream in general esp with fudge, we all need a lil kick in the ass/nudge, to get the ball rolling, please quit the online trolling, have the guts to say shit to my face, our representation is a disgrace, humanity has created excessive pollution and waste, try to get thru the moment with haste, when we need to let it be, money isn't something u get free, doesn't grow on trees, accept that we agree to disagree, that's ok, I'm not afraid, we're different in our own individually unique way, tomorrow is another day, but I ain''t got the patient to wait, don'r rely on hope and faith, they'll get u far, not everyone is a Hollywood star, or gets one automatically on the walk of fame, existence isn't a board game, but it is competitive, we are responsible for the officials elected, wish we had better choices, I try to inspire others to find their voices, we're much stronger together, stop complaining about the weather, it is what it is, mind ur own business, shouldn't air out dirty laundry online, or pretend everything is hunky dory or reply I'm fine, especially if ur not, u get what u got, or at least that's what karma is for, why is it we want it all and more, never really happy or content, to deal with stress I get bent, not a big drinker, but def an over analyzer and an over thinker, can be my own worst enemy, hope I have a long lasting Tupacesque legacy, he was a revolutionary leader, it's absolutely ridiculous how billionaires are even greedier, no one person should have or needs a trillion dollars, where are all the economic scholars, we've gotta fix this ship, and get a grip, cuz right now the course we're on is unsustainable, health care should be unalienable, we're gonna need to unite and fight, before they take more of our rights, this country is headed for a collapse/impending doom, unless we somehow evolve blossom or bloom!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/16/18

Situations Vary But No Exceptions

Everyone wants to be the exception to the rule, when did being a good person become so uncool, we've bastardized righteous, imagine being paid for niceness, or valued at what ur contribution is to humanity, the level of evil that's prevalent is sheer insanity, we're headed for some dark times, can't pretend that things are fine, kicking the can down the line, it doesn't help to bitch and wine, make a change, retract those claws and fangs, learn empathy, focus on ur legacy, what is it u want to leave, it's wrong to lie steal kill or cheat, there is no gray area, this divisiveness is gonna cause mass chaos and hysteria, I even bet we will see the fall of the dollar, if u need me holla, but there's only so much I can do, the most important thing to teach kids is finding the truth, I often feel morally superior, being poor black gay or an immigrant doesn't make anyone inferior, all people are created equal, I wonder if after death there's a sequel, no one knows, life ain't fair that's just how it goes, we've got to work together, to make this Earth cleaner sustainable and better, look how we're treating our ultimate mother, if we treated each other like sisters and brothers, the world would be much more peaceful, the population's becoming extreme pauper or regal, no longer a middle class, can u decipher life's riddle fast, perhaps it requires common sense, can someone tell me where all the shaman went, or how about revolutionary leaders, I'm tired of politically correct people pleasers, ruffle some feathers, stop complaining about typical weather, we should be worried about global warming, these graduated storms are a warning, our President won't heed, can we federally legalize weed, enough already, the global economy is super unsteady, reliably unpredictable, laws are real it's commandments are biblical, and that's why there's separation of church and state, there's a fine line between adultery and rape, that's why character is an important aspect of voting, I'm also skeptical about anonymous quoting, there's no need for evidence or proof in the court of public opinion, I've given up on social media and the virtual reality dominion, online profiles portray the extra special, this next generation is coddled with participation medals, we're becoming completely inept, I wonder if Trump has any sympathy or regret, perhaps he's an alien or robot, personally I think he's just an old fart, who lost touch with the average person, the hard working poor are hurting, can barely make ends meat living check to check, we really need to have a better more secure process to elect, especially when the loser wins the popular vote, it's not always easy to remember exactly what I wrote, it takes lots and lots of rehearsal and practice, is Caitlyn Jenner considered both an actor/actress, no disrespect meant, she ain't no Clark Kent, her costume can't be taken off, just because it's different we shouldn't insult or scoff, circumstances vary, even though gays have the right to marry, I'm not really interested in that arrangement, I'd probably have an indefinite engagement, similar to Kurt and Goldie, I just want a self sufficient partner who will unconditionally love and hold me when I'm sad or lonely!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/10/18

Art That'll Move U & Can Groove To

My words invoke feelings more so than beautiful imagery, sometimes I find spoken word performers too gimmicky, but I appreciate art in all forms, I love watching inspiration as it spawns, it's infectious and inevitable like friction, pay attention to ur tone dialect and diction, don't forget that with great power comes responsibility, y'all may think my dreams are silly, but I take music very seriously, time and money vanish mysteriously, like enough is never enough, I don't seem to have that kinda luck, apparently I work hard but not smart, I sing from my soul gut and heart, cuz like Kelly "I wanna move u", wanna make music that makes u think and groove to, that isn't just an escape, but something u can relate, I ain't no ghetto gangster, when I'm hurt I often lash out with anger, it's not a good look, I hate that hip hop's legacy represents  the stereotypical hood crook, there's a fine line between rebel and thug, the only way we win is with love, gotta learn to ignore evil people, wear flashy classy costumes that are unbelievably chic and regal, it's all about the visual, I've always been simple and minimal, my personality's what's larger than life,sorry not sorry I gripe over endless strife, I'm not one dimensionally prim proper and polite, I make mistakes for sure but I try to do what's right, if I must make amends, I'm willing to start all over again, even tho I'm scared, I refuse to be ruled by fear, once the storm has cleared, shaved my head and beard, and my spirits are lifted, I will remember to appreciate all that I've been gifted, be grateful, and way less hateful, hopefully my faith, will help keep me safe, otherwise what's the point, the constant consistent pain's got me frustrated and annoyed, fuck these nonsensical lessons, how do I perceive these trials and tribulations as blessings, nothing goes my way or works in my favor, rarely am I fairly compensated for my labor, pretty much taken advantage of, my cock is slightly curved and slanted up, to hit that sweet g spot, existence is so stressful we need pot, it's our medicine, not into exotic meats like duck rabbit or venison, I'll stick with pigs chickens and cows, anyone else sick of the unanswerable whys and hows, like I'm not privy to that info, I wonder if the devil is a nympho, since Jesus was immaculately conceived, when does gay sex get a cosmic reprieve, I don't wanna automatically go to hell, I'm Italian so when I'm passionate I yell, and use my hands, I don't respect dictator style orders and demands, I thought we lived in a democracy, seems more like the land of hypocrisy, only an illusion we're free, capitalism is conducing greed, it's everybody for themselves, no one wants to lend a hand and help, our government's gotta do something about the unequal distribution of wealth, it's pertinent to our country's economic health, as these polar ice caps melt, quicker than my my pants sag without a belt, the ocean level rises, Congress has got to reach some compromises, and work nonpartisan together, humanity can do so much better, but we repeat history instead, maybe we will evolve once the older generation is dead!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/2/18

Why Lie Or Ask...We're Not Worthy & Won't Last

Do u too yell at some invisible guy in the sky, is all structured religion a mind controlling lie, it's hard to know the truth, people's intentions are often hidden and aloof, master manipulators, sarcastic instigators, like they get pleasure from other's pain, many are very superficial and vain, life ain't no game, my poetry is never tame, it's intellectual thought provoking insightful and deep, I can easily make my mind take faithful leaps, but not my body or heart, yes it's possible to be too smart, over-analyzing and overthinking, I'm all for celebratory smoking and drinking, everything is ok in moderation, excessive pollution makes it harder to see the constellations, gazing at the ocean and stars, I'm reminded how small and far we are, existence is a constant beating drum, it took me forever to take a dick and enjoy eating cum, sorry if that's gross and came out of left field, but I don't censor what I say or how I feel, I'm blunt with no filter, my sense of humor is pretty dry and a lil bit off kilter, super odd and a freak, into b&d jock socks sneaks and feet, I believe we all have fetishes and are kinky, I'm not embarrassed by my pits or paws being sweaty and stinky, I find it rather intoxicating and hot, not into piss shit scars blood or farts, some things are nasty, if u ask me, but that's just my opinion no judgment, I try to not be resentful nor begrudging, life's too short, I'd rather play than watch sports, they say I divulge too much, u don't know what it is or was til u lose love, gotta experiment with trial and error, figuring out what u don't like is how u make urself better, humans are a priceless treasure, whose true value can't be measured, kids today are under extreme pressure, dealing with insurmountable fear and terror, yet manage to persist and persevere, it shouldn't matter if ur black white man woman straight or queer, those attributes are inconsequential, how can government keep catastrophic events confidential, evidence and facts are kept secret, Obama provided hope when we needed it, we're still stuck between the second and third stages of grief, about to hit a rock bottom depression like no one'd believe, we might even be headed towards the biblically prophesied end of days, is it the final stage of this crazy maze, or does reincarnation repeat this vicious cycle, got caught up worshiping false gods and idols, perhaps we're simply not worthy, I'd never bow down or curtsy, especially to the devil, I know and understand death is inevitable, am I just an egocentric narcissist, I wanna go to a dispensary instead of a pharmacist, cuz for me pot is the only cure, still can't help but wonder how Jesus stayed so pure, oh yeah...that's right he wasn't real, is blasphemy worse of a sin than if u kill cheat or steal, round and around we go, our galaxy is way more profound than man can comprehend or ever even know, the universe is vast, but in the grande scheme perhaps, we evoke a giggly laugh, having the gall to ask will we last, or are we more like the plague Aids or cancer, I guess some questions simply can't be answered!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/26/18

Revolutionary Artist Or Econometrician Chartist

Karma means no good deed goes unpunished, my poetry blog will most likely remain professionally unpublished, fame is fun, but only money makes us feel like we've won, it's rather sad actually, my talent comes so naturally, yet the music biz, is aimed more for kids, so at 36 I'm too old, without music life seems so cold, like Mariah it's my saving grace, seems today only crime pays, just looking at the President, it's pretty clear cut and evident, evil has finally gained the reigns, and keeps fanning the flames, causing chaos and destruction, the middle class needs an eruption, perhaps another revolution, it's either destitution or evolution, or are we too smart for our own good, pretending to play God like we ever could, we're only human, but wtf are we doing, we're like cancer, ignoring the root cause of problems so there's no chance at an answer, looking like duped fools, laws are moot rules, that should adapt to the times, sometimes with writer's block I have a lapse in rhymes, but I believe it's ok not to be ok, we all have both good and bad days, that's the roller coaster ride of existence, it takes passion and persistence, to become successful, creating art shouldn't be stressful, for me it's a coping mechanism, I am not a fan of protectionism, especially as a foreign policy, wish people would exude more honesty empathy and modesty, capitalism breeds competition, so sick of tired of being taken advantage of and propositioned, I'm not ur resource, when wronged I have no recourse, like in this case I'm the exception, not to be confused with special or lucky, I swear the universe loves to sarcastically fuck me, like I'm the butt of their jokes, this is hell or one giant hoax, they're crying from laughing so hard, success is a la carte, cuz we can't have it all, gravity means that which rises will fall, have we already piqued, are u good at being criticized or critiqued, cuz I'm not, I hate it a lot, especially by someone who is unqualified, why when we die are we buried in a coffin after being embalmed with formaldehyde, trying to slow down decomposition, the US needs a econometrician, yes that's a real word and they exist, if I were Obama I'd be pissed, Trump shat all over his legacy, green is the color of money envy and jealousy, except when it comes to energy it means clean, I want a hip hop song the teens fiend, is that really too much to ask, I feel this urge to take the whole globe to task, why can't we grow, stop selling our collective soul, let's adjust the way we operate, I won't remake Juicy Changes I Will Survive or Lady Marmalade, I'm an original artist, I would say that Bernie was a chartist, look it up if u don't know, what's the point of counting down if u won't go?!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/25/18

It Takes Courage To Depress The Sluggish Rubbish Of Excess Luggage

I officially suck at life, the decisions I make just ain't right, everything's a fight, but I still maintain love and light, but I'm also a Gemini, with extreme lows and highs, not just monotone, I despise the misspelling of homophones, get smart, use heart, instead of ur guts or brain, people don't change but nothing stays the same, it's not that I don't need help, I just know and take care of myself, I took the time, to explore travel and find, thru trial and error, gotta not be ruled by fear and terror, be brave, don't always behave, trouble is my middle name, relationships are such a game, never 50/50, why y'all gotta be so shady and shifty, I put my worst foot forward, try to make the best of what the universe offered, which isn't easy, seems it pays to be sleazy, these billionaires are so greedy, I judge a person by the way they treat me, don't believe in gossip and rumor, I have a very dry sarcastic sense of humor, not a fan of slapstick comedy, sorry not sorry but I love sodomy, but then again I'm gay, fuck no I don't pray, or practice structured religion, I truly believe that Earth is either hell or a prison, trapped and unhappy, if ur curious just come and ask me, I'm an open book, I gave way more than I ever took, I admit my faults and flaws, take responsibility for mistakes too of course, how else do u learn and grow, I'm stubborn and rarely do what I'm told, a revolutionary/rebel, quite the lil devil, with a mischievous smirk, my ex was a selfish asshole/jerk, nothing but a user, a lazy ungrateful moocher, good riddens to bad rubbish, getting back on the dating horse I've been super slow and sluggish, too much excess baggage and luggage, it takes courage, I don't wanna risk another chance, was duped by lust at first glance, he wasn't capable of love, cuz he didn't know how to trust, a recovering junky, but in my eyes he was very sexy and hunky, but it was all a lie,  like Ariana "ain't got no tears left to cry", I didn't mean it when I said I wanted him to die, after all I hated being ghosted, he never ever hosted, he couldn't drive and was unemployed, he disliked my pre-used toys, expected me to accept his past, but the double standard hypocrisy reared it's ugly head fast, he was abusive and controlling, not supportive or consoling, but anyway enough about him, I'm ready to rebegin, start all over again, make my own family and new friends, cuz existence is fleeting, it's tough leaving, but I'm more scared of staying, I've become numb too comfortable and complacent, yet unfortunately there's not much choice, I'm' bored frustrated and annoyed, is this the best God has to offer, sick of everybody lining their coffers, while the majority of the population is broke, living paycheck to paycheck is no joke, money is man made, we're limited how much we can make, when the 1% hoards it all, our economy is about to collapse and fall, quite frankly it appears we're screwed, guess this is what happens when true good and the virtuous lose!   

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/20/18

Nothing's Guaranteed It's What U Believe

After my last relationship ended I gave up on marriage, it's as outdated as coal cds and the horse and carriage, maybe I'm jaded being gay, I can't pray my kinks away, so I remain a freak, perhaps hell is life on repeat, nothing but pain and tragedy, wish success came naturally miraculously or magically, cuz no matter how hard I work, along comes another moocher/jerk, who takes and takes but never gives, I'm not the best at free-styling adlibs, I'm a writer, a lgbtq activist and social justice fighter, but I've lost the will to hope, my faith too is very low, seems evil has finally gained the upper hand, a lack of empathy and common sense is hard to understand, how have we gotten this far gone, where did it all go wrong, we were progressing, now we're second guessing, our morals and ethics thrown out the window, I feel like a widow, tho my love is alive, I can't help wonder if it was just a lie, I was simply used, now I'm left super bitter resentful and confused, he plays the victim of abuse, but it's a delusional pathological ruse, I wish him the best, but I want him hexed, even the good hearted can be consumed by revenge, 2 important words are intent and consent, they signify murder and rape, sometimes I think I wanna rap in a fidora with a cane and cape, like a hip hop superhero, on a scale of 1-10 he was a stupid 0, pretty much a waste of time, I wish I didn't have to fake smile and say I'm fine, when the truth is I'm destroyed, so sick of being temporarily employed, altho I like this new job, I was totally robbed, by my old boss's fraudulent claim, my future opportunity was maimed, yet I still have to pick up the pieces and be brave, can't give in or up nor cave, this is my chance to start over again, move somewhere else and make new friends, I'm so unhappy unfulfilled and bored here all I do is get bent, I swear my family is heaven sent, I'm very lucky, thanks for the compliment of wanting to fuck me, random hookups just aren't my style, I'm always willing to go that extra mile, but I'm tired of no reciprocity, it deeply effects and bothers me, a partnership is not a one way street, I find it nearly impossible to admit defeat, sensitivity doesn't make men weak, it's ok if ur a geek, u gotta own it, I will no longer loan shit, without it being in writing, our consciousness needs igniting, are u woke, do u vote, we all must do our part, to revitalize our legacy our soul and our heart, get back some of the integrity we lost, compromise is inevitable but at what cost, we have got to learn to work together, team work is the only way to make things better, since we are at such a pivotal point, now is not the time to ignore or drink away problems and smoke a joint, get off those unnecessary opioids, stop benching and ghosting to avoid, this is reality minus the virtual, the younger generations believe the perfect match is searchable, as if the internet is a modern day online catalog of available people, being behind a screen can give some the anonymous power of evil, creating fake profiles and trolling, statistics are as about an exact science as polling, nothing in existence is guaranteed, screw other people's judgmental opinions the most important thing is what u believe!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/12/18

The Descension: In The Yin

My world changes from day to day, sometimes my anxiety makes me afraid, what if I'm not good enough, easily gullible attracted to lust, probably over trust, which is needed for love, u can't have one without the other, I treat everyone like fathers mothers sisters and brothers, in other words family, I hate greedy people who win underhandedly, the sinister are out in full force, I am not defined by my flaws mistakes or warts, I am all I've done, please don't ghost or shun, it's impolite, we forgot about the power of light, we're in the dark part of the yin, thing is neither side ever truly wins, it's what's more dominant, I hope to become one of music's prominent, wish ya'll would give me a chance, my songs are meant for dance, they're for chilling on high rides, I have trouble conquering my tides, finding equilibrium and balance, I feel at a disadvantage because of my respectfulness and valiance, am I the last of my kind, I'll be successful even if I die trying, it's what I'm here for, I won't be a part of their war, I fight for truth justice and consciousness, aren't ya'll sick of this obnoxiousness, whether economical or political, the struggle is real and literal, not just a figure of speech, since I can do I guess I can't teach, practice what u preach, don't be a mooch or a leech, it's annoying, thank God I'm elastic and buoyant, can rise again and bounce back, karma mounts fast, and u get what u give, so many are alive but don't live, all robotic slave-like and zombified, when we colonized we should've compromised, instead we quelled the indigenous, we've become numb self righteous hypocrites, spreading corruption disguised as democracy, this huge wealth distribution gap is destroying the economy demonstrably, it might be too late to fix, does fate exist, was this our destiny, how will history measure me, I care about my legacy, I wonder if most murder is caused by envy and jealousy, especially crimes of passion, will our government accept responsibility and take action, cuz Congress is useless, can only get by so much on ur cuteness, besides looks fade, we all age, those are the facts of life, could cut the tension with an ax or knife, so consumed by fear, entombed my tears, sensitivity is a sign of weakness, the next sequence is the descension of Jesus, our divine mythical lord and savior, except this time he won't sacrifice himself based on our bad behavior, we don't deserve redemption, save ur confession, some sins deserve suspension, I often wonder if existence is a curse or a blessing!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/22/18 

Having Talent & Skills Doesn't Pay The Bills

Ya'll may scoff and laugh at this, but fuck hope it's way too passive, it gives permission to let someone else do all the work, and creates lazy victimized jerks, who never take action, do u really think another Holocaust can't happen, the divide is growing, evil's face is showing, at least we now know the truth, guess we inherently lean to certain groups, we all want to fit in, win and be thin, but at what cost, when we all are the same individuality gets lost, I like being different and unique, I'm 36 and I've yet to begin let alone piqued, my whole life is ahead, I'll quit when I'm dead, cuz it won't be a choice, it took me a long time to find my voice, first I discovered who I was, had to be brave dig deep testing my balls and guts, it isn't easy following ur own path, we've abandoned our moral compass and lack tact, gone are the days of chivalry and empathy, corporations aren't people they're an entity, we need to get money out of our elections, our government exists for protection, and is supposed to be a public service, nobody is worthless, our vote matters in democracy, I can't stand republican hypocrisy, liberals are far from prefect too, checks and balances are the proverbial glue, keeping ourselves in check, is this Congress' best, cuz it's rather quite pathetic, pay attention to ur rhetoric, yes words hurt, it's ok to curse, as long as it's not unnecessarily excessive, my lyrical content is pretty eclectic sometimes eccentric but always thought provokingly impressive, u just have to listen carefully, I write magically/miraculously, I simply do, unfiltered and uncensored too, let if flow stream of consciousness style, this crazy obnoxiousness is wild, where are the revolutionary artists, it's hardest selling urself when ur naturally genuine humble and modest, where's my Suge Tommy Puffy or Clive, how did the late bloomers like me manage to survive, all those years unnoticed, having to applaud mediocre or straight up atrocious, the spirit of Pac evokes us, cuz we're both Geminis, when did avid hip hop fans become desensitized, rappers were activists, Eminem is sick with his rhyme schemes and adjectives, I know I come of arrogant cocky pompous and pious, and obviously I'm biased, but I've got mad poetry and song writing talent and skills, even tho my performances videos and sales don't pay the bills, I know I still have purpose and value, I work a day job cuz I have to, I'm not rich nor famous, and I'm starting to get incredibly anxious, cuz I deserve a turn, I've fallen been beaten and burned, but every single time I got up healed tried again and learned!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/10/18

A Rose That Chose To Grow From Snow

Lead by example not lecture, watch out cuz karma's gonna get ya, after all we get what we give, ur not God so don't judge the way I live, worry about urself, I'm here if I can help, but I'm learning, to focus more on working, even music and poetry is just a hobby, the womb is really hell's lobby, are we fallen angels, perception's different depending on the angles, what happens after death, will I remember regrets, for the next time, there may be reincarnation but no rewind, or is it simply black, for a male I have a decent rack, always getting complimented on my chest, I try to give my all and do my best, that's all anyone can ask, I refuse to wear all the different masks, I've got one face not two, tho that's what Geminis do, see both sides, they're insightful and wise, balancing the extremes, do u ever find urself wondering what it all means, what's life's purpose, why does the universe keep hurting us, or is it self inflicted, I don't like the way gays are depicted, so one dimensional, ur discrimination is intentional, we don't need more hate, the human race could be great, but we implode before we grow, global warming is not a hoax or a joke, we are the biggest contributors, I wanna be a marijuana distributor, or what's called a bud tender, when I think about the amount of money one must render, to just survive, I feel like I don't jive, perhaps I was born in the wrong era, have u ever written urself a letter, I find it helps during reflection, hindsight works for future protection, but there's no such thing as perfection, I wonder who'll be running in the next presidential election, still gotta get thru these midterms, maybe it's the kids turn, let them lead and take control, Bette sings "far beneath the bitter snow", "lies a seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose", funny to think our personalities are based on the birth month we chose, it's been said we pick our parents, I don't believe in jealousy nor arrogance, cuz I'm grateful appreciative and blessed, this journey is filled with trial and error and a lot of hypothesized guess, we're bound to fail and fall, scale those boundaries and walls, breakdown barriers and blocks, don't ever give up or stop, especially on ur dreams, who says u have to be part of a team, I don't need another man to complete me, wish evil would retreat please, they may have won the battle but never the war, someday I hope to take the next step and be an opening act for a major artist on tour!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/7/18

Are Ya'll Prepared To Be Wowed Right Now

Not every day has to be about social justice, when it comes to life I feel the need to crush this, I put way too much pressure on myself, when we die we can't take our wealth, so why does how much we accumulate matter, if ur wallet's fatter does that make u happier, or simply less stressed, u don't have to be the best, especially at everything, I readily admit I rap better than I sing, and I'm totally ok with that, don't talk about it behind my back, say it to my face, u fucking waste of a disgrace, I hate flakes and fakes, be a genuine gentleman, I don't care if u did meth or heroine, shit congrats, I'm very mellow nonjudgmental chill and relaxed, look how far uve come instead, don't live as tho ur already dead, enjoy existence more, figure out what ur here for, or ur meaning and purpose, I find I learn more from the things that hurt us, I truly believe it all happens for a reason, people are like seasons, relationships change, best friends become estranged, time space and fate always seem to get in the way, I try not to play victim cuz I'm gay, another white boy appropriating rap, hip hop straight up dumb/whack, I ain't no ghetto gangsta black daddy mack, criticize my talent not who or what I do in the sack, this isn't an attack, I'm trying to fill in where ya'll lack, an original one of kind, a vocabularian mind that loves to rhyme, making u think and feel, u can connect and relate cuz what I'm saying is real, I'm baring both my heart and soul, winning a Grammy and selling out stadiums is my ultimate goal, and I know it's quite lofty, ya'll can snicker and scoff at me, all u want, but expect the middle finger boasting and watch me flaunt, an ear to ear smile, maturity and graceful tact just isn't my style, I'm a condescending sarcastic prick, and can be a big dick, when taken advantage of, u got pacific or atlantic love, I'm torn between the 2, still don't know what I'm gonna do, it depends of if this job becomes perm, waiting's making me squirm like a worm, some say Chicago or bust, moving and starting all over again take cajones strength and guts, but I gotta get out of this depressive rut, test my skills perseverance and luck, it's now or never baby, stop with the ifs ands buts or maybes, make a plan and follow thru, please don't look back with regret too, seize control of this moment right now, perhaps someday ya'll will read my poetry or hear my music in utter awe jaw dropped mind blown and incredibly wowed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/20/18 

Screw Only America Let's M.E.G.A

Muslims are people too, just like me and u, but they've been demonized lately, discriminated against hatefully, especially after 9/11, to be in the military u don't have to believe in heaven, we fight for freedom of religion, yes there's free speech but not mandatory listening, we think the philosophy of the west is best, I remember back in basic training wondering what will happen next, Afghanistan or Iraq, being deployed was 100% fact, America is made up of shades ranging from white to black, the hardest part was coming back, perspectives change after fighting in war, soldiers aren't above the law, we too struggle fitting in, especially in the beginning, to see or hear injustice but not acting, turn the other cheek as a black man's beat and sexist or homophobic laughing, does the duty to serve and protect ever die, this administration's refugee policy's got me questioning why, this country was built on immigrants, slaughtering natives who were innocents, was one of the worst atrocities in history, finding peace is the most infamous unsolved mystery, it's like the horizon line receding as we approach, I'd imagine a drill sergeant to be very much like my soccer coach, screaming push thru dig deep and no excuses, when one uses nuclear and chemical warfare everybody loses, think back to Hiroshima's destruction, we can't afford democracy's abduction, racial profiling all Muslims as terrorists is disgusting, women wearing hijabs causes major mistrusting, when all u see are eyes, imagine men walking around in a ski mask disguise, in their culture homosexuality is punishable by death, women are so oppressed do they have to ask permission for breath, it's like only pockets of the whole globe evolved, international problems need to be solved, we gotta work together, to make this planet sustainably better, don't fall for presumptuous ignorant stereotypes, it was awkward training our Arab allies how to fight, especially when they look just like our enemy, when u fear for ur own life it's almost impossible to exhibit empathy, u can literally walk in someone else's shoes, but u can't help or save others if they too don't choose, to change takes awareness and conscious effort, the vicious victim blaming chain or cycle needs to be broken and severed, but they gotta do it for themselves, sometimes u must experience rock bottom and the multi levels of hells, to appreciate the fact that we all go thru it, it's about not just talking but actually doing shit, lead by example, let's not let differences prevail and trample, succumbing to divisiveness, this poem is not some gay white privileged diatribe of righteousness, I'm speaking my truth, we need to keep teaching the youth, cuz the future depends on them, aren't ya'll tired of repeating mistakes again and again and again, the only way for humanity to win, is when equality isn't dependent upon sex faith or the color of our skin, we can't pray away hate, let's existentially grow elevate and edit our collective fate, before it becomes way too late, screw only America let's make Earth great!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/19/18

Can't Run From The Words Of One Of God's Sons

Been off my meds for a few weeks, I'm anxious to be able to stand on my own 2 feet, which depends on whether I get this perm job or not, I've given it all I've got, been here almost 2 years, but in the business world no one cares, it's just about money, tho I don't sleep on the streets or go hungry, I'm what's called the working poor, I find monotonous repetitious routine a robotic slave-like bore, are we collectively greedy at our core, nothing in existence is sure, in the next second I could be gone, where did I go wrong, too many blunts and bongs, overshared in my crappy songs, why do I always feel unfulfilled and a failure, what if I'm another JC the savior, like Nas one of god's sons, I refuse to fight with fists bomb knives or guns, just use words, which can hurt worse, I miss my ex, we were both a mess, neither of us had our shit together, being single I can handle my wits better, I don't like being controlled or owned, when I think back on all I did for u and the hundreds loaned, I should've known then, he'd take every last cent, that's why I wouldn't marry him without a prenup, he can suck on these nuts, if anybody believes they're entitled to my earnings, I'm a gay guy with urges and yearnings, but I have will power and aplomb, Gemini's find moderation doom, we live and find comfort in extremes, nobody at first is what they seem, ur meeting their representative, I can be very passionately argumentative, commonly with Libras, hope ya'll smoke cheeba, cuz the whole globe needs to chill the fuck out, don't divide discriminate hate or bout, can't we all just get along, I'm that judge who'll bang the gong, sending u home a loser, beggars can't be choosers, yet they try, everyone wants a free lunch or ride, imagine ur born rich, or sucking Thor's dick, could u keep it a secret, everybody has potential tho only a random few ever reach it, perhaps we are spoiled and lazy, I bet those royals are crazy, they've got skeletons in their closet too, they're far from humble modest fools, u don't rule without blood on ur hands, how the hell do famous rappers develop die hard fans, I'm envious and jealous, this rat race of a game is hellish, wonder if Trump is the devil in disguise, he's skewed the truth it's the news media that lies, that doesn't even make sense, but I still rather him over Mike Pence, either way we're totally screwed, we'll probably wind up like Holocaust Jews, which concentration camp are u from, unfortunately with Big Brother there ain't no place to hide or run!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/13/18 

A Masculine Valiant Queer's Here

All signs are indicating move, it's been forever since I've been awed or wooed, everybody is the same, so very boring and lame, constantly bitch and complain, but do nothing to change, they expect the world to, sorry not sorry don't like girly dudes, masculine here, a valiant queer, who says chivalry is dead, most don't use their head, and have absolutely no common sense, can u tell me where the time went, seems like yesterday I came back, shouldn't say I hate that, but honestly it was the wrong decision, Rhode Island is a prison, I mainly keep to myself, refuse to ask for help, avoiding certain people, can't focus on the political evil, it's everywhere, and very clear, these are reminiscent of the dark ages, I'm in grieving's final stages, after being FB dumped, dealing with President Trump, fighting with my dad, being used and treated bad, by every single job I've ever had, makes me so fucking mad, I'm tired of being taken advantage of, I no longer believe in relationships gay marriage or true love, I've give up, I have no luck, life sucks, super unfair and unjust, I swear Hell is right here on Earth, lost my value and worth, what's the point, spark a blunt or joint, and melt my consciousness away, it's frustratingly obnoxious being gay, bottom of the barrel sub-par human/second class citizen, no one has empathy or listens, we're collectively selfish, can't all be rockstars like Elvis, or crazy long legacies like Pac, wish I was big and built like The Rock, with adoring fans, I really can't understand, how do u become a celebrity, is it only hereditary, I feel excluded, Mother Nature's been polluted, and we won't take any responsibility or blame, I want both fortune and fame, to show young lgbtq, that we can too, break down barriers stereotypes and stupid rules, u won't catch me wearing tiaras or flashy jewels, I'm very humble and modest, genuine and honest, looking for respect, authorities no longer serve nor protect, he was the electoral college elect, not by the general population, we're barely hanging on to democracy's conservation, waiting on a second civil war as well as World War 3, America isn't the home of the brave nor the land of the free, we've more than lost our way, our soul's the price we paid, now we're the global laughing stock, I'm hopeful magic's unlocked, so we can find balance within the force, the window of opportunity is quite short, let's be better, we can accomplish the impossible if we work together!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/11/18

Cursed On The Verge Of The First Purge

I still need help, finding strength and confidence within myself, my level of faith is incredible, my soul's stifled and it's in peril, I just wanna be free to be me, ya'll don't see me weep or my heart bleed, as it's being beaten and destroyed, I'm not some slutty slave-like boy toy, I'm a person, and ur kink shaming is hurting, what about different strokes for different folks, I hate discovering everything u said u experienced and knew was a hoax, I don't need to be persuaded or coaxed, I simply like blokes, in a pair of beaten up skate shoes or trainers, bondage play is a no brainer, sign me up, there's a fine line between sex and love, I want to be controlled not owned, consent is always condoned, and very necessary along with trust, a safe word is a must, never know what can happen, please don't be discourteous and be laughing, especially right to my face, I don't deserve to be ostracized or disgraced, I'm sick of insecure evil people, the amount of ignorance is unbelievable, like electing Trump unlocked and unleashed Pandora's Box, u shouldn't open the door when the devil knocks, look thru the peep hole, to avoid deep woe, what happened to common sense, does anyone even carry cents, I barely have dollars, u from the streets or hobnob with scholars, I prefer the poor, they give more, often at their own expense, fuck impeachment we'd be stuck with Pence, who's a religious extremist, I despise all these billionaire elitists, and what's with all this political correctness, this country's becoming anti immigrant gay black and feminist, talk about oppression, we're on the verge of world wide depression, the worst one yet, God blessed the dead, cuz the living are cursed, bringing to fruition the first purge, hope u know ur value and worth, please watch out and remember the power of words, I recently forgot and said some awful stuff, to my first true adult relationship/soulmate/love, and no amount of apologies will cut it, I regret a lot of dumb shit, I didn't mean any of what I said, I lost my cool and my head, I was so angry and upset, he never came correct, expected respect without leading by example, my desire to open up and date again has been trampled, I wanna be alone, make my own kinky home, a nice safe space, I'll do whatever it takes, I won't be stopped nor concerned by the tick tock, and damn sure won't let my life and timing be dictated by some man made concoction called a clock!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/6/18

Stubbornly Believe I'll Succeed In Fulfilling All My Dreams

Been much more retrospective, trying to distract myself from the president we elected, the world's getting very scary, ya'll should really listen and hear me, most Americans are descendants of immigrants, the manipulative fear tactics are interwovenly intricate, the truth's being skewed, not learning from history we're screwed, did good finally lose, evil's corrupted the rules, we've become numb ass backwards and regressed, isn't it all just guess, does anybody know if the story of Jesus was told, mistranslated like a game of telephone, does the Illuminati exist, is ignorance in fact bliss, is the purpose of sex pleasure or only for kids, 2Pac and Biggie are both still missed, the whole hip hop game wouldn't be so lame, people won't change yet don't stay the same, friction is inevitable, nobody's dependable, we're hypocritical political and fallible, sorry but heaven perfection and utopia aren't palpable, is reincarnation real, recycling is a big deal, neglected over money, global warming isn't a hoax or funny, human's are playing God, success has become impossibly hard, the majority is doomed to fail, while the 1% smoothly sail, redistribute and share the wealth, I believe we have a right to breath and free health, I pay my taxes, not afraid of the masses, I go against the grain, use common sense and my brain, which seems to be a foreign notion, stop polluting the air and oceans, turn the globe green, there's no need for greed, with enough to go around, this moment in time is crucially profound, what we do now, will determine humanity's future no doubt, will u stand up resist and bout, or  be complicit and allow the dark clouds to shroud, consume with gloom and darkness, sold our souls become unempathetic and heartless, have hope faith and compassion, compromise sacrifice and ration, "you can't always get what u want" sang The Rolling Stones, Newton's third law explains why one reaps what they've sown, "for every action there's one equal or greater", the horizon line recedes as we approach unlike the equator, wish I heeded the warnings of danger, never fall in love with strangers, get to know them first, being ghosted while alive hurts the worst, but it's a negative reflection on them, watch my redemption again, cuz I have not only the will to live but to stubbornly succeed, I'm ambitiously driven and brave enough to fulfill all my dreams, perhaps even a lil bit out of spite, but hey I say that's ok cuz u gotta motivate urself to do what's right for u and ur own life!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/3/18

The Devil's Spawn is Gone

Reminded he's still evil, pretends I'm toxic and lethal, ignoring everything he ever said and did, he's doesn't apologize nor forgive, he's full of shit, nothing but a hypocrite, manipulates and lies, can't wait for his downfall and demise, he's a con artist, not the smartest, and the epitome of junkie, who used to be handsome and hunky, but just keeps popping those pain pills, he's vain and unfulfilled, has no clue what he wants or needs, eventually karma will catch up to him for his dirty deeds, look at all the people he's used and wronged, I mourned and longed, but I'm glad he's gone, the devil's spawn, now I know better. we weren't meant to be together, cuz he's literal white trash, stole my heart time and hundreds in cash, I'm trying to finish what he started, he's spiteful retarded and cold hearted, he really needs psychological help, he's delusional pathological bipolar and has tons of issues with his mental health, honestly he is a bad person, goes around hurting, instead of self sufficiently working, he's stalking and lurking, trying to change the narrative to make himself look good, always took what he could, never returning any favors, now I relate to all the haters, who tried warning me he's abhorrent, should've let him default on his probation payment so they'd issue a warrant, he belongs in jail, when it comes to life and love he failed, his mission do destroy me's been derailed, everyone's been happy and hailed, it isn't easy to get away from abuse, he would gaslight and confuse, falsely assume and accuse, couldn't admit his errors or lose, a poor sport, can't wait for his day in court, so maybe he'll be put away, he's an awful representation of gays, for all I care he can go to hell, sorry not sorry but I don't wish him well!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/2/18

What The Ruthless Truth Is

Thanks for all the views, even when I win I lose, it's give and take, don't live in hate, let love shine thru, focus more on what u do, and less about the opinions of others, how does one ghost former lovers, like Pink "I'm not dead yet", don't have to worry about bed head, cuz I'm bald silly, own ur responsibility, ur omissions make ur perspective a lie, I can't help but wonder why, it didn't have to end that way, I feel like a bad gay, since I don't believe in marriage equality, I'd actually disparage it probably, since it's basically a business arrangement, I procrastinated ur arraignment, u should've already been in jail, our relationship didn't fall apart it epically failed, even tho it was my first, ur lack of trust hurt, I couldn't take more false cheating accusations, all I wanted was an I'm sorry thanks or congratulations, u never positively supported me, u gave up and walked away abortingly, couldn't communicate, I ran out of the patience to wait, gotta get ur shit together, I didn't want to change u I hoped ud get better, I always saw the best, sometimes I have to get the negativity off my chest, so much was left unsaid, when I think of how I reacted I'm consumed with regret, I didn't mean, to wish death or demean, u kept avoiding and giving me silence, which made me enraged with violence, cuz u knew that was a huge button, perhaps we're both glutton for punishment, self sabotage and destroy, our own happiness and joy, when in fact it could be chalked up to terrible timing, some think it's incredible rhyming, but the truth is, I'm uncensored unfiltered and ruthless, ambitiously selfish, allergic to cats and shellfish, super competitive and can't handle criticism well, is Earth the synonym for hell, cuz evil rules, people are sheep and mules, rounded up like cattle, good might win the war but it seems lately we're perpetually losing battles, morale is low, wish I had a special someone to have and to hold, but blending lives appears too much, I say no to codependency cuz I'm not ur safety net/crutch, sure u can lean on me periodically but logically I can't help or save u, look at all I sacrificed and gave dude, yet it wasn't enough, that's why darling I gave up on our love!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/26/18

All The Drama Of A Soap Opera Called Life

Don't take preference personally, ghosting really irks me, take things breath by breath, excessive worry and stress will be my death, please try not to listen, to hateful negative criticism, it'll only bring u down, words can be profound, both can be blessings, or used as weapons, so choose wisely, shouldn't come for or try me, cuz like Whitney "I don't know my own strength", many misinterpret what I meant, due to being short sighted and small minded, it's fascinating how jealousy and envy make us blinded, just like love and lust, heartbreak effects trust, leaving me jaded and cautious, pda makes me nauseous, get a room, I can't believe my relationship got ruined, over false accusations paranoia and insecurity, those lost souls and bad boys sure know how to reel in and lure me, guess these are growing pains, come in waves like the moon waxes and wanes, a never ending cycle of give and take, would u consider me genuine or fake, can one be too nice, when did it become boring and cheesy to do what's right, stop with the drama, it's life not a fucking soap opera, get out from behind those computer phone and tv screens, can't understand what giving up means, I'm overwhelmed with passion motivation and drive, suicide's not an option I'm happy to be alive, just wish existence wasn't so damn expensive, the gap between the rich and poor is quite extensive, some mistakes are irreversible, success takes patience practice good luck with timing and rehearsal, no excuses, it's why it's so illusive, most people lack energy and the will, barely scraping by after paying bills, lots of families are hurting, it's hard to fathom the level of evil lurking, ever since this administration took power, I feel like we're closer than ever before to the dawn of the final hour, what a scary thought, how could we allow our soul to be bought, at what cost, perhaps good and love lost, neither triumphed or conquered all, still I hope we can somehow miraculously recover from grace's fall!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/21/18

Try As Many Times As U Need To Succeed

Another year of the same old same old, why as we age don't we also grow, we need more diversity and inclusion, I'm sorry my mere presence is an intrusion, entertainers come in all backgrounds and forms, who decides and defines the norms, I rather not conform, it's so boring, keep being told to pay my dues, which is almost as annoying as the phrase fake news, I won't play politics, isn't performance all about talent skill and competence, every venue should be different, gay pride shouldn't be about being drunk vulgar or belligerent, all about shock value, like they just have to, make their point being offensive, always gotta be bigger flashier and more excessive, in most cases losing substance, can ya'll understand my reluctance, my own community doesn't support me, but more importantly, we're becoming judgmental and cliquey, I'm sure once I'm gone ya'll won't notice or miss me, I've lost my self confidence and worth, being left out hurts, tired of not even being acknowledged, I graduated from both high school and college, yet not compensated fairly, was hoping to be accepted by the leather and bear communities cuz I'm kinky chubby and hairy, no matter what, love is what I got, along with hope and faith, it's hard to have the patience to wait, when it seems those 15 mins aren't coming, it's hip hop that appears racist and shunning, ostracized cuz I'm gay and white, don't worry I expected the fight of my life, nothing is easy, this world's being run by the greedy evil and sleezy, they don't give a fuck about the needy, no wonder my eyes are repeatedly beady, I stay high all the time, so I can stay rationally sane and my mind fine, it's hard to maintain balance, we've turned away from empathy and valiance, morals and ethics are perceived cheesy, no one follows the golden rule and treats peeps decently, it's everyone for themselves, did u freeze ur stem cells, perhaps I should get cloned, when will old school music royalty be dethroned, when's the next generations turn, I feel success has been earned, but still no credit, if I didn't follow my dreams I would've regretted it, remember if at first u don't succeed, try try and try again as many times as u need!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/18/18

So Anxious He's Ungracious & Outrageous I'm Reacting Heinouss

Finally starting to regret my words, I wasn't justified because of the anger stemming from hurt, I lost control, felt he damaged both my reputation and soul, but he was right, all I could do was fight, constantly having to defend myself, even sought out professional help, but in the end, we can't be lovers or friends, and that just breaks my heart, he did say from the start, I simply thought he'd change his mind, too bad we can't press rewind, I'd go back and be the one to walk away, now I'm lonely and afraid, what if I don't find love again, like Pink sings "we're not broken just bent", can we ever recover, apologize and forgive each other, I honestly don't know, time isn't healing anything tho, I'm getting more and more resentful, life solo seems unfulfilling and uneventful, I can do it cuz I'm strong, can get lost in and put all those mixed emotions into a new song, unlike Taylor breakups aren't my muse, I don't wanna hear more bad news, we both need to catch a break, I wish I was blessed with the patience to wait, I'm overzealous and anxious, I too can be atrocious and react heinous, why was he so ungratefully ungracious, his lack of accountability was silly and outrageous, humans aren't angels, we're all connected and entangled, and then there's friction, I've got a social interaction addiction, not for sex drugs or booze, karaoke is one of my coping tools, also helps me practice to better my singing, I'm cursed with incessant over thinking, if only he found the trust, it was deeper than superficial lust, how can we go back, learn to cuddle hug kiss and laugh, is it possible to forget, did I make u too upset, why can't u see, I don't wanna be free, I wanted it to be, together forever ever and always u and me, but that dream is gone, gotta embrace the dawn, signaling the beginning of the next chapter, true happiness and unconditional love is what I'm after, maybe one day, the pain will fade, until then, trying to stay balanced and zen, so I don't go off the rails, nothing sucks more than admitting u did ur best yet still failed, nobody is perfect, but my insecurity keeps asking if I'm even worth it, should I be exempt, wish things ended civilly instead of with such hostility and contempt, guess I don't take criticism nor rejection well, perhaps I'm irredeemable and my final destination is hell!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/15/18

Doing What's Human

The road to self discovery is long challenging and windy, sorry not sorry but I took the time to find me, I needed no ones approval or permission, eventually who we are comes into fruition, to hear ur calling u must first listen, try to be nonjudgmental and forgiving, cuz we as people are far from perfect, everyone should be loved and feel worth it, no matter what, be brave and have guts, u can be whatever u dream, remember nothing is as it seems, life is all illusion and perception, when ur in a dark place it's harder to see the blessings, we're all bestowed, follow ur heart and soul, it'll lead u in the right direction, fear is an infection, detoxify urself, sometimes we need meds or professional help, and there's nothing wrong with that, u can't stop people from talking bad about u behind ur back, just keep smiling and shining, they'll be crying and whining, wondering why, wishing they were that guy, since the grass seems greener from the other side, don't run and hide, resist and conquer, fight those evil monsters, does kindness really kill, there's an epidemic of abusing prescription pills, we're trying to numb the pain, existence isn't a game, we only get one world and one life, ur defined by how u react to the hurdles plight and strife, be ur own hero, instead of 2 fucks give zero, be proud of who u are, give some credit for making it this far, we can be our own worst enemy, especially with jealousy and envy, wounding our ego/pride, it's a beautiful gift to even be alive, open ur eyes wide, sit back relax and enjoy the ride, can't escape fate, are we predestined or is birth a clean slate, destiny has no hands, what's with society's outrageously expensive and high demands, let's make things simple, the speed bump's barely a blip or pimple, watch the waves, washing my footprints away, wanna do my part, leave a long legacy or lasting mark, to prove I was here, prefer to answer truth over dare, I may never find my pair, perhaps I've gone wrong awry and veered, who cares if I'm freaky kinky and weird, I'm an original individual, future generations won't benefit from residuals, we've kept kicking the can, never try to fully understand, consequences and ramifications are inevitable, my mistakes are regrettable, but like I said I'm only human, concentrate and focus more on what u urself are contributing and doing, stop the schmoozing and wooing, the unequal distribution and concentration of wealth will be our ruining!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/13/18   

May Not Recover From My Former Lover

Hurt people hurt people, funny how according to him I'm crazy toxic and evil, but usually the abused abuse, he's neglectfully forgotten or plain deluded and confused, it's the other way around, the regret is profound, I honestly wish we never met, I'm better off pretending he's dead, after all he ghosted me months ago, claimed I cheated was a barfly and an attention seeking hoe, I may have insulted him superficially but he's constantly attacked my character, when I think about his lack of responsibility I'm consumed by laughter, the truth always comes out, his insecurities and fears caused every single bout, I do wish him well I'm just angry, I hate that I still love him strangely, hope he's alright, but I just wanna yell and scream and fight, anything for him to wake the fuck up and get a clue, he would always say to me it's not what u say but what u do, I've done a ton how about u, feel like a fool cuz I fell for his ruse, a manipulative addict, would push and push and push and push til I finally had it, and lost my shit, he made me mentally unfit, he avoided problems, walking away was his how he coped and solved em, he would remain silent, making me infuriated and violent, altho I'd never hurt a fly, I'm a stoner who's usually high, so that's not my nature, sorry not sorry Kevin but now I hate ya, and that's sad to say, I can admit I got played, u used me dry, can't count the tears I've cried, but I am learning to let go, to all those saying we'll get back together HELL NO, I won't go backwards in life, made that mistake twice, what can I say other than I'm wicked stubborn, please don't believe the lies he's uttering, or actually go ahead, he made his bed, now he can lay in it, the version of me at the end wasn't my favorite, I chose to show my ugly side, he knew full well I'm an Italian Gemini, yet it didn't stop him from trying to change me, I'm very much enjoying being single lately, I think about him all the time, as I'm sure ya'll can tell from my rhymes, spewing venom out of spite, even tho I know it aint right, or a depiction of who I really am, I'm dealing with this the best way I can, not good at all, why couldn't he pick up the phone and call, maybe even apologized, he never budged or compromised, how did I become the villain, he was the one who was helpless and unwilling, I did so much, but I think it was out of just lust, he was hot and sexy as hell, unfortunately we didn't seem to mesh or gel, it's still quite a damn shame, someone I called my soulmate caused so much lasting damage and pain, I seriously might not recover, wow I never thought I would despise my former lover!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/13/18

Finished Cuz He Disrespected My Limits

It's Pride month, which reminds me I fell in love once, but now it's over, a weight's been lifted off my shoulders, I'm finally free, to be plain old me, no need to change, retracted my claws and fangs, I'd rather be single, a social butterfly ready to mingle, being nice isn't flirting, keep ignoring problems cuz it's u ur hurting, repeating that vicious cycle, he felt possessively entitled, unwilling to share, questioning if I truly cared, lacking trust, now I hate his guts, my consciousness perceives him dead, don't believe any of the bullshit he fed, I was the one ghosted, always drove paid and hosted, but he was so ungrateful, attacked my character calling me crazy lazy spoiled and unfaithful, when I never cheated, I'm the opposite of disingenuous and conceited, I prefer to help others, I never cut out of my life ex lovers, it came so natural to him, the light from the fire between us went dim, and eventually was extinguished, there wasn't any closure we were just finished, I was blocked, antagonized and mocked, portrayed the villainous bad guy, then things went mad awry, insults got out of hand, he lives in some delusional land, where nothing is ever his fault, he tried locking me in a vault, only he had access to, and was in fact a fool, with my love blinders on, got gullibly conned, he was so strikingly handsome and sexy, tried to take the best of me, to lift himself up, no matter what I didn't do enough, he's better now than before, wish we could've been more, guess it wasn't meant to be, the future is impossible to see, but I will become successful, our relationship was regrettable, wish it never happened, it was soul sucking and fattening, I felt so helplessly trapped, got stabbed both in the heart and back, he was quite evil, figures the proverbial needle, would find this sucker, he was one mean sarcastic mother fucker, his own parents were frightened and scared, insisted I kept my goatee or beard, when I like being fully shaven, he was relentlessly criticizing and blaming, everyone else, but ignored how we felt, constantly walking away, his communication skills deserved a failing grade, u can't sweep shit under the rug, and we can't be fixed with an I'm sorry a kiss or big bear hug, we are absolutely finished, that's what happens when a partner doesn't respect boundaries nor limits!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/11/18

Great Innate Retrospection

Now that the toxicity is gone, I can finally move on, sorry to be so vulgar and hateful, but my ex was super abusive neglectful and hateful, but enough about him, my life is about to rebegin, I'm 100% single, and totally ready to mingle, so who wants to go on a date, I believe finding true unconditional love is fate, I'm not perfect but I'm pretty great, retrospection is innate, I'm always reflecting learning and growing, never claim to be always right or all knowing, I try to stay humble and modest, genuine straightforward and honest, I took the time to find who I really am, not just interested in getting off or rammed, I want someone with substance, who sees the bigger picture and circumference, well rounded and level headed, why is marriage so encouraged and embedded, I don't need a ring or certificate to be happy, nor do I want a sugar daddy, I'm independent passionate talented and driven, all about conscious living, please be woke, focus on the approach, instead of sitting idly by, don't judge me for getting high, we all have our vices, u get way further with niceness, but sometimes u need to stand firm, against the snakes fakes flakes and worms, sneaking and slithering their way in, highlighting ur sin, to deflect from theirs, research someone by talking to peers, it takes more energy to hold on then let go, remember u reap what u sow, so karma can be a bitch, most don't get rich quick, it takes hard work perseverance and persistence, u should honor ur promises and commitments, otherwise ur word has no value or meaning, I'm gonna keep expressing how I'm feeling, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, unfiltered and uncensored, I'm self taught not mentored, someday my fifteen minutes will come, and I won't forget where I'm from, but I can't stay here, especially out of fear, it's almost that time, leave the past behind, try someplace else, and hope it helps, maybe even heals, I'm done getting the raw end of deals, just cuz I'm a nice guy I'm doomed to be last, my disappointment won't be masked in fact, u can follow my diary, if ur a fan or admire me, I'm an open book, I'll get back what he took, and I'll be better than before, it's human nature to want it all and more!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/5/18

Total Waste Of Time

Him trying to make me seem like the bad person, isn't really working, he's an utter disgrace, to the entire human race, I'm sick and tired of being neglected abused and ignored, or the fact he's unemployed and always poor, he's a user and a mooch, a dirty slutty hooch, so glad that toxic relationship is over, it's like a heavy weight's been lifted off my shoulders, acted like an immature child even tho he's four years older, his heart and soul have grown blacker and colder, he's basically an evil piece of shit, with many double standards a hypocrite, I can't wait for the day, somebody treats him the same way, he's treated countless others, he has a long list of hurt lovers, I'm sure he'll wind up just like his mother a cunt/bitch, impossible to deal with, I despise him with every ounce of my being, expressing my bitter resentful anger is so freeing, I hope he reads this and cries, could honestly care less if he dies, he's already ghosted me, no matter how hard I would beg and plead, he never listened, wish I let him go to prison, instead I fell for his trap, I know in the end I'll have the last laugh, nobody will put up with his crap, he'll talk behind and stab u in the back, never takes responsibility or blame, he loves playing the silent game, walking away from problems, sweeping them under the rug to never solve em, he's quite the illusionist a pathological liar, and I was preached to by the choir, but I was blinded by love, unfortunately I wasn't ever good enough, no matter what I tried to do, got played for a fool, I was just a tool, to make him look better and cool, while he brought me down, the destructive aftermath has been profound, I've simply given up, gay culture is defined by lust, consumed by booze and sex, there's no hope left, he flaked on me for the last time, now I will not be respectful or kind, this is me like it or not, in the end I learned he was simply just a twot!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious

6/5/18   

Do Ya'll See Society's Irony In Its Entirety

This world's getting out of control, we've done gone and lost our soul, no more morals, the poor coral, and the Great Barrier Reef, man made pollution is a big pet peeve, but ignorance is the worst, discrimination in any form hurts, where is our empathy, even friends are now our enemies, divided by politics race and religion, seems we've turned Earth into a prison, when did sexuality become a choice, like Ariel we have no voice, made a deal with the devil, not everyone deserves a gold medal, otherwise it devalues its worth, of course humanity is cursed, didn't u learn the story of Jesus' death, he died to save us but left us hexed, we're all born with original sin, I wonder what will happen if we let evil win, perhaps a third coming, that would be jaw-droppingly stunning, we need to reset our compass, be much more compassionate and understanding than Trump is, vote for better leaders, not shady business wheelers and dealers, this is a country, not a money making company, that's why capitalism is outdated, unfair competition breeds resentment and hatred, no one should live to work, I'm sick of concentrated wealth and greedy jerks, let's go back to bartering, look at all the insecurity ur harboring, find ur calling, cuz wasted time and energy is abhorrently appalling, it's one thing to explore more thru trial and error, both patience and tenacity must be measured, it's hard to strike balance, it's not enough to have special skills and talents, money is a necessity, which often gets the best of me, cuz then I start to get hopeless, I'm a lil jealous of those artists who are precocious, but then again I've always been a late bloomer, don't wanna be associated as a doom and gloomer, rather be inspirational and positive, I refuse to stay closeted, cuz hip hop don't like gays, from my perspective being black not white pays, two strikes against me, I push forward apprehensively, safety first, most rappers perform without shirts, but I'm a shorty jock cub, with a bald head that loves to be rubbed for good luck, except when I'm sweaty, put me in coach I'm ready, give me the spotlight, I don't wanna just be a cashier at ShopRite, or at some cubicle office temp job, don't have the stomach to be a hit man for the mob, so nurse or emt is out of the question, there are points when I fail to appreciate my blessings, yes I'm fallible, prefer to dress casual, no suit and tie, usually used to be high, now everything's in moderation, can't help think there's some kind of conspiracy theory underground operation, u know a Russian secret society, that reliably uses a variety of psychiatry, to defiantly finally destroying the American dynasty, do ya'll see the irony in its entirety?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/30/18

Take Charge & Control Of Ur Life & Soul

Tomorrow marks another year of life, 36 years of pain plight and strife, still not happy or fulfilled, I often feel like a failure ill prepared and unskilled, but trying to stay optimistic and positive, I've never seen so much repression with men staying closeted, well into old age, sexuality isn't just a phase, I came out at 25, never felt so alive, safe and free, finally getting to know the real me, but it was hard in a sea of expectation from others, traveled cross country twice and only had a few lovers, I'm neither a slut nor a prude, u get further by being nice then rude, nobody likes an ass, some sarcastic sass can be brash abrasive and crass, insecurity isn't easily masked, time sure does fly by fast, missed many moments, I hope to reap the benefits from all my sowings, while the Earth keeps rotating in spinsanity, will it be inevitably destroyed by humanity, constantly plagued by a God complex, is ur belly button concave or convex, u a lefty or a righty, I can get stoned zoned out and flighty, day dreaming winning that Grammy, most can't stomach or understand me, mistake me as arrogant conceited and cocky, why ya'll trying to stop me, from getting my fifteen minutes, it's not when u start but how u finish, slow and steady supposedly wins the race, to clear the hurdles u face pick up the pace, nobody will stop to lend a helping hand, often wonder how long my legacy will span, especially thru music, every person and experience I encounter I try to use it, make it my inspirational muse, we learn more when we lose, blame gravity for falling, some people never find their passion or calling, wandering about aimlessly, wanting to be idolized famously, with an abundance of fortune, without having to succumb to overworking exhaustion, like Amy "they try to make me go to rehab", I need some meditational squirming in my leather sleepsack, under some big hot jock feet, worshiping his man meat, til we both explode, gotta keep the faith and have hope, that all my fantasies and dreams will come true, ur reputation is a combination of both what u say and do, be ur best self, I welcome help, not good at criticism tho, always asked what do u know Joe, it's a very common question, I'm super grateful and appreciative of all my blessings, including my tenacity and drive, next time u see me give me the JC Solut or a high five, as a enthusiastic congratulations, keep ur pity sorrow tho and ur adulation, I hate passive aggressive condescension, there's no such thing as equality forever or perfection, it's all about first impressions, success takes a ton of trial and error guessing, nobody has the existential answers, it's polite manners to greet peeps with a smile and friendly banter, a simple hello to break the ice, health care should be an inalienable right, let's redistribute concentrated wealth, instead of playing victim take charge and control of the hand uve been dealt, don't sell ur soul, now and then smoke a bowl, no regrets, just give it ur all and try ur best!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/23/18 

In The Vicinity Of Rap Divinity

Ur silence worries me more than anything u could say, u can't change things the harder u pray, it takes action, not verbal lashings, candid criticism, when neither of us is listening, we're both a mess, jynxed
and hexed, in pain and stressed, wondering what happens next, guess I'm single and ready to mingle, they're chocolate jimmies or rainbow sprinkles, there are Granny Smith and other apples, failed relationships are hard to grapple, hope my heart heals, while my soul still is brave enough to deeply trust and feel, I don't want to be jaded by lost love, we just had to give up, focus on our individual selves, keeping busy helps, a healthy way to deal, I need an empathy shield, so I don't lose and confuse what's urs and what's mine, I'm questioning if it pays to be kind, evil seems to be prosperously winning, morality and common sense are thinning, it's like a free fall for all, u ever get so angry only thing u can do is ball, plus I say stuff I don't mean, if only my insults could make u bleed, sorry not sorry I wanna hurt u as bad as u did me, I don't wanna be free, what happened to "I'm Yours", don't make me get down on all fours, but while I'm there, we never really celebrated 1 year, like it didn't even matter, I noticed I was getting lazier and fatter, way too comfortable, was waiting for him to be less insufferable, I always saw the best version of him, would suck it up often and let him win, usually he was wrong, he's a music career expert from djing and creating one song, laugh out loud, I've got 22 boo and I'm super proud, all I ever wanted was a compliment tho, and wanted ur approval u know, urs was the opinion that I cherished most, wish I didn't always have to drive pay and host, wasn't much of a partnership, how does one go about getting a grant donation or sponsorship, I could use some financial assistance, I heard dreams come true with passion talent drive and persistence, so I keep on working and growing, want my name to blow up like a volcanic explosion, so I can live my truth, otherwise the point to life seems aloof, I refuse to be put on hold or mute, got a great smile and adorably cute, but give me the mic and one of my beats, and I become drop dead sexy, exuding raw divinity, jaw dropping awe and amazement quieting everyone in the surrounding vicinity, the "attention grabber", "a faggot cracker rapper", who breaks barriers limitations expectations and walls, is anyone else having good hip hop withdrawals, cuz I am, not looking for "Stan" fans, just trying to relate and connect, I am not God and far from the best, but I certainly try, wanna leave a lasting legacy that can survive long after I die, epic and legendary, I truly do believe in faith and my destiny!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/15/18

Got One Shot So Try Why Not

Ur deficiency of empathy, is why we're not meant to be, I refuse to go back, u inspire me to lack tact, ur silence, enrages violence, especially with words, my anger stems from hurt, u never valued my worth, perhaps this is ur curse, u get in ur own way, unreliable when it's time to do or follow thru with what u say, what a waste of love, nothing was ever good enough, u can't help someone become unstuck, no control over karma or luck, guess now's the chance to refocus, do u believe in hocus pocus, magic can't fix reality, God/Jesus is synonymous in all actuality, except that divinity may not be just a simple illusion, people are easily manipulated thru confusion, distraction is easy, it's not in my nature to be slutty or sleazy, I don't want someone who codependently needs me, in San Diego I could smoke weed legally, but here in Rhode Island I can't, which is hard to comprehend and understand, my symptoms haven't changed, capitalism is strange, there's nothing fair about it, so why do we allow shit, like the huge gap in distribution of wealth, obviously our government doesn't care for it's citizens' health, u gotta pay to play, a smile can make a day, cuz when ur poor or broke, it's tough to keep the faith alive and hope, I shouldn't have hatefully spoke, nor angrily wrote, but I was desperate to release, why do I appease and people please, my opinion's the only one that really matters, it's been forever since I've played Chutes & Ladders, or better yet Mall Madness, I'll do anything to distract myself from the sadness, seriously I'm crippled, my patience has whittled, I'm over my mirror's reflection, I have to do some soul protecting, to refrain from becoming numb and jaded, relationships are overrated, I just wanna be happy, instead all I feel is crappy, cuz too much is left unfinished and unsaid, are u ever in so much pain u wish for death, rather drown than have a shattered heart, how did that accident happen or that fire start, perhaps I'm a demonic hit-man for the source, wish we regarded education over sports, look at the way we treat our teachers, don't punish the dreamers, this country was built on immigrants, now it's plagued with ignorance, are we the next Rome, will next world war be fought at home, as we watch the dollar collapse, ignore more and more political mishaps, another rapture victim, Earth is a prison system, our bodies a temple, wish I had insurance that covered vision too and dental, survival is all mental, life ain't a rental, u got one shot, so instead of constantly asking why try why not!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/10/18

Broaden Ur Range & Change

Keep losing my shit, over his abusiveness, he won't talk, but apparently stalks like a hawk, his friends aren't helping either, I believe less in love than I do this country's leader, both are narcissists, working out pot and bondage are sources of catharsis, almost medicinal, I can't stand his double standards that are hypocritical, his lack of taking responsibility never ceases to amaze, he makes me lose control of my patience and grace, I just wanna spit in his face, and tell him what a fucking disgrace, of a human being, maybe it would be freeing, so I can let him go, this is me just venting tho, I don't really wanna do that, I simply feel stabbed in the back, by someone who once claimed they loved me, despite he never could trust me, constantly falsely accused, put up with his emotional psychological verbal and neglectful abuse, he always had some stupid excuse, which was all a pathological ruse, based on lies, he never could compromise, just a codependent user, a condescending asshole/loser, I want out of existence, my apologies were persistent, but he'd never give me the satisfaction or respect, out of sight out of mind and easier to forget, except there's still a ton left unsaid, ugly wishful thinking he was dead, which makes me hate myself, I was trying to help, think he got blinded by my parent's wealth, wouldn't even take care of his own health, slept the days away, kept my hope and faith in spades, but what a waste of time and energy, we both have to live with our relationship's legacy, which ended in disgust, questioning whether it was true love or just lust, what did I even really like about him, I swam seas and climbed the highest mountain, but it still wasn't good enough, gay dating is rough and tough, no matter how much I huff and puff, dust builds up, can't sweep it all under the rug, follow ur instincts and guts, listen to friends and family, people connive underhandedly, in it for selfish reasons, some are seasons, let them be and change, broaden ur scope and range, experiment boundaries and limits, don't be so gullible to gimmicks, fall for those same old tricks pricks and dicks, use ur intelligence and wits, and ride solo, since yolo, don't let endless possibilities pass u by, while u were standing there pondering why, u got surpassed, I will have the last laugh, if u continue with sobriety ull eventually want to make amends, sorry not sorry ur the one who said we could never be friends, so I won't forgive u, ur negative and morbid too, brought me down to ur depressed level, but I refuse to become beaten and disheveled, I will persevere, cuz u made me so numb I no longer give 2 fucks or care!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/8/18

Don't Call The Coroner

On the road again, cuz it takes time to mend, guess we should've started friends, it's awful when a relationship ends, I've been unkind, wish I could rewind, but we can't, so I'll be a man, and own up to my mistakes, I was consumed by hate, mostly stemming from hurt, staying distracted with work, and obviously doing music, I try to take the emotion and use it, especially when I'm singing, nobody knows the intensity of my over feeling and thinking, it can be debilitating, getting a standing ovation can be exhilarating, it's not fame or attention I'm craving, more the overall connecting and relating, I want no one to be or feel alone, we all deserve love success and a happy home, I no longer wish to get revenge or fight, I realize a lot of what I did wasn't right, but I can't take complete blame, trust isn't a game, u either do or u don't, had to forgive myself cuz he won't, nor will he talk, shouldn't have drawn lines in sand or with chalk, cuz some are hard red, I wonder if this is was God meant, is this really the path, why do I get so mad, esp when it's at things beyond my control, guess my soul couldn't handle the role, of partner or gardener, stop trying to be martyrs, the world needs to wake up and be smarter, fixing this mess will get much harder, can't keep kicking the proverbial can, desperately need beach sand and a tan, to help get over those winter blues, probably could use new shoes, does anybody actually like to lose, I totally prefer pot instead of booze, is reality a ruse, if life's built for twos I'm screwed, cuz I'm flying solo, my new motto is yolo, always seek the truth, nobody's opinion should be put on mute, use ur voice, express ur choice, show some class and poise, if ur feeling Joe Conscious let me hear some noise, it's supposed to be raining men not boys, I'm content with my hand and some toys, cuddling would be nice tho, can't handle the price woes, barely keeping my own head afloat, I could definitely give it another go, ask me out on a date, even better if u paid, an apology or compliments are surely welcome, kink can no longer be seldom, it's a necessity, pursue passion aggressively, follow ur heart and gut, get urself out of that depressive rut, change ur luck, never give up, a new opportunity could be right around the corner, no need to call the coroner, love's not dead, just giving myself space to cool down and let my emotions better connect with my level head!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/3/18

Forgive & Let Live

I know he made me happy cuz now I'm not, maybe he does still love me just forgot, but there was never trust on his part, dealing with double standard hypocrisy was too hard, think it's finally time to move again, make new friends, get away from this place, feel like a failure and a disgrace, I let myself down the most, I wonder if I'll miss him like the west coast, but I wanna go somewhere different I've never lived, I know I won't get the satisfaction of being forgived, which isn't a word, I know how absurd, a rapper making up lingo, wish we had a chance to go together to musical bingo, for shizzle my nizzle, but our relationship has more than simply fizzled, but there will always be love there, we got consumed by insecurities and fear, I'm done tho playing the blame game, gotta focus on fame, being an indy artist, stay humble grounded and modest, cuz nobody likes conceited or cocky, I wanna win a Grammy and nothing or nobody can stop me, I'm determined and driven, working isn't living, it's supposed to improve quality, in all honesty, I think evil has taken over, sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, I wanna make my parents proud, perhaps I share too much too loud, like an open book, I prefer not to cook, that doesn't mean I can't, I want a man who understands, that I am who I am, I like to try to make plans, but with so many fakes and flakes, flying solo seems to be my fate, and I'm ok with that, love isn't something I lack, I'm lucky and blessed, I don't believe in perfection or that I'm the best, always bettering myself, unafraid to admit I need help, at the end of the day we're all just people, do not succumb to the powers of evil, stay true to who u are, always follow ur gut and heart, please don't sell ur soul either, I tend to be more spiritual than a Jesus believer, altho I grew up Catholic, I wanna be a superstar not an asterisk, but only ya'll can help make that happen, instead of condescendingly laughing, take a listen to my songs, especially after ripping the bong, and if it's not ur cup of tea, that's totally fine with me, but if u do than tell a fellow hip hop fan, seems good smart lyrical content isn't in demand, like Meghan sings "it's all about that bass", why's rap music anti white and gays, like either of those are disqualifying traits, finding success is a maze, that basically just leads to dead ends, I've thought about officiating weddings, or doing massage therapy professionally, I tried adult day care but I wasn't prepared mentally, now instead of paralegal I'm a fiscal clerk, who knows what future careers lurk, wish my art would pay the bills, still have to make a will, just in case, of the Rapture/End Of Days, hope we can change our course to a forward direction, make sure if ur unhappy with our president u go out in vote in elections!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/27/18