Thursday, July 19, 2018

Screw Only America Let's M.E.G.A

Muslims are people too, just like me and u, but they've been demonized lately, discriminated against hatefully, especially after 9/11, to be in the military u don't have to believe in heaven, we fight for freedom of religion, yes there's free speech but not mandatory listening, we think the philosophy of the west is best, I remember back in basic training wondering what will happen next, Afghanistan or Iraq, being deployed was 100% fact, America is made up of shades ranging from white to black, the hardest part was coming back, perspectives change after fighting in war, soldiers aren't above the law, we too struggle fitting in, especially in the beginning, to see or hear injustice but not acting, turn the other cheek as a black man's beat and sexist or homophobic laughing, does the duty to serve and protect ever die, this administration's refugee policy's got me questioning why, this country was built on immigrants, slaughtering natives who were innocents, was one of the worst atrocities in history, finding peace is the most infamous unsolved mystery, it's like the horizon line receding as we approach, I'd imagine a drill sergeant to be very much like my soccer coach, screaming push thru dig deep and no excuses, when one uses nuclear and chemical warfare everybody loses, think back to Hiroshima's destruction, we can't afford democracy's abduction, racial profiling all Muslims as terrorists is disgusting, women wearing hijabs causes major mistrusting, when all u see are eyes, imagine men walking around in a ski mask disguise, in their culture homosexuality is punishable by death, women are so oppressed do they have to ask permission for breath, it's like only pockets of the whole globe evolved, international problems need to be solved, we gotta work together, to make this planet sustainably better, don't fall for presumptuous ignorant stereotypes, it was awkward training our Arab allies how to fight, especially when they look just like our enemy, when u fear for ur own life it's almost impossible to exhibit empathy, u can literally walk in someone else's shoes, but u can't help or save others if they too don't choose, to change takes awareness and conscious effort, the vicious victim blaming chain or cycle needs to be broken and severed, but they gotta do it for themselves, sometimes u must experience rock bottom and the multi levels of hells, to appreciate the fact that we all go thru it, it's about not just talking but actually doing shit, lead by example, let's not let differences prevail and trample, succumbing to divisiveness, this poem is not some gay white privileged diatribe of righteousness, I'm speaking my truth, we need to keep teaching the youth, cuz the future depends on them, aren't ya'll tired of repeating mistakes again and again and again, we can't pray away hate, let's existentially grow elevate and edit our collective fate, before it becomes way too late, screw only America let's make Earth great!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/19/18

Friday, July 13, 2018

Can't Run From The Words Of One Of God's Sons

Been off my meds for a few weeks, I'm anxious to be able to stand on my own 2 feet, which depends on whether I get this perm job or not, I've given it all I've got, been here almost 2 years, but in the business world no one cares, it's just about money, tho I don't sleep on the streets or go hungry, I'm what's called the working poor, I find monotonous repetitious routine a robotic slave-like bore, are we collectively greedy at our core, nothing in existence is sure, in the next second I could be gone, where did I go wrong, too many blunts and bongs, overshared in my crappy songs, why do I always feel unfulfilled and a failure, what if I'm another JC the savior, like Nas one of god's sons, I refuse to fight with fists bomb knives or guns, just use words, which can hurt worse, I miss my ex, we were both a mess, neither of us had our shit together, being single I can handle my wits better, I don't like being controlled or owned, when I think back on all I did for u and the hundreds loaned, I should've known then, he'd take every last cent, that's why I wouldn't marry him without a prenup, he can suck on these nuts, if anybody believes they're entitled to my earnings, I'm a gay guy with urges and yearnings, but I have will power and aplomb, Gemini's find moderation doom, we live and find comfort in extremes, nobody at first is what they seem, ur meeting their representative, I can be very passionately argumentative, commonly with Libras, hope ya'll smoke cheeba, cuz the whole globe needs to chill the fuck out, don't divide discriminate hate or bout, can't we all just get along, I'm that judge who'll bang the gong, sending u home a loser, beggars can't be choosers, yet they try, everyone wants a free lunch or ride, imagine ur born rich, or sucking Thor's dick, could u keep it a secret, everybody has potential tho only a random few ever reach it, perhaps we are spoiled and lazy, I bet those royals are crazy, they've got skeletons in their closet too, they're far from humble modest fools, u don't rule without blood on ur hands, how the hell do famous rappers develop die hard fans, I'm envious and jealous, this rat race of a game is hellish, wonder if Trump is the devil in disguise, he's skewed the truth it's the news media that lies, that doesn't even make sense, but I still rather him over Mike Pence, either way we're totally screwed, we'll probably wind up like Holocaust Jews, which concentration camp are u from, unfortunately with Big Brother there ain't no place to hide or run!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/13/18 

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

A Masculine Valiant Queer's Here

All signs are indicating move, it's been forever since I've been awed or wooed, everybody is the same, so very boring and lame, constantly bitch and complain, but do nothing to change, they expect the world to, sorry not sorry don't like girly dudes, masculine here, a valiant queer, who says chivalry is dead, most don't use their head, and have absolutely no common sense, can u tell me where the time went, seems like yesterday I came back, shouldn't say I hate that, but honestly it was the wrong decision, Rhode Island is a prison, I mainly keep to myself, refuse to ask for help, avoiding certain people, can't focus on the political evil, it's everywhere, and very clear, these are reminiscent of the dark ages, I'm in grieving's final stages, after being FB dumped, dealing with President Trump, fighting with my dad, being used and treated bad, by every single job I've ever had, makes me so fucking mad, I'm tired of being taken advantage of, I no longer believe in relationships gay marriage or true love, I've give up, I have no luck, life sucks, super unfair and unjust, I swear Hell is right here on Earth, lost my value and worth, what's the point, spark a blunt or joint, and melt my consciousness away, it's frustratingly obnoxious being gay, bottom of the barrel sub-par human/second class citizen, no one has empathy or listens, we're collectively selfish, can't all be rockstars like Elvis, or crazy long legacies like Pac, wish I was big and built like The Rock, with adoring fans, I really can't understand, how do u become a celebrity, is it only hereditary, I feel excluded, Mother Nature's been polluted, and we won't take any responsibility or blame, I want both fortune and fame, to show young lgbtq, that we can too, break down barriers stereotypes and stupid rules, u won't catch me wearing tiaras or flashy jewels, I'm very humble and modest, genuine and honest, looking for respect, authorities no longer serve nor protect, he was the electoral college elect, not by the general population, we're barely hanging on to democracy's conservation, waiting on a second civil war as well as World War 3, America isn't the home of the brave nor the land of the free, we've more than lost our way, our soul's the price we paid, now we're the global laughing stock, I'm hopeful magic's unlocked, so we can find balance within the force, the window of opportunity is quite short, let's be better, we can accomplish the impossible if we work together!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/11/18

Friday, July 6, 2018

Cursed On The Verge Of The First Purge

I still need help, finding strength and confidence within myself, my level of faith is incredible, my soul's stifled and it's in peril, I just wanna be free to be me, ya'll don't see me weep or my heart bleed, as it's being beaten and destroyed, I'm not some slutty slave-like boy toy, I'm a person, and ur kink shaming is hurting, what about different strokes for different folks, I hate discovering everything u said u experienced and knew was a hoax, I don't need to be persuaded or coaxed, I simply like blokes, in a pair of beaten up skate shoes or trainers, bondage play is a no brainer, sign me up, there's a fine line between sex and love, I want to be controlled not owned, consent is always condoned, and very necessary along with trust, a safe word is a must, never know what can happen, please don't be discourteous and be laughing, especially right to my face, I don't deserve to be ostracized or disgraced, I'm sick of insecure evil people, the amount of ignorance is unbelievable, like electing Trump unlocked and unleashed Pandora's Box, u shouldn't open the door when the devil knocks, look thru the peep hole, to avoid deep woe, what happened to common sense, does anyone even carry cents, I barely have dollars, u from the streets or hobnob with scholars, I prefer the poor, they give more, often at their own expense, fuck impeachment we'd be stuck with Pence, who's a religious extremist, I despise all these billionaire elitists, and what's with all this political correctness, this country's becoming anti immigrant gay black and feminist, talk about oppression, we're on the verge of world wide depression, the worst one yet, God blessed the dead, cuz the living are cursed, bringing to fruition the first purge, hope u know ur value and worth, please watch out and remember the power of words, I recently forgot and said some awful stuff, to my first true adult relationship/soulmate/love, and no amount of apologies will cut it, I regret a lot of dumb shit, I didn't mean any of what I said, I lost my cool and my head, I was so angry and upset, he never came correct, expected respect without leading by example, my desire to open up and date again has been trampled, I wanna be alone, make my own kinky home, a nice safe space, I'll do whatever it takes, I won't be stopped nor concerned by the tick tock, and damn sure won't let my life and timing be dictated by some man made concoction called a clock!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/6/18

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Stubbornly Believe I'll Succeed In Fulfilling All My Dreams

Been much more retrospective, trying to distract myself from the president we elected, the world's getting very scary, ya'll should really listen and hear me, most Americans are descendants of immigrants, the manipulative fear tactics are interwovenly intricate, the truth's being skewed, not learning from history we're screwed, did good finally lose, evil's corrupted the rules, we've become numb ass backwards and regressed, isn't it all just guess, does anybody know if the story of Jesus was told, mistranslated like a game of telephone, does the Illuminati exist, is ignorance in fact bliss, is the purpose of sex pleasure or only for kids, 2Pac and Biggie are both still missed, the whole hip hop game wouldn't be so lame, people won't change yet don't stay the same, friction is inevitable, nobody's dependable, we're hypocritical political and fallible, sorry but heaven perfection and utopia aren't palpable, is reincarnation real, recycling is a big deal, neglected over money, global warming isn't a hoax or funny, human's are playing God, success has become impossibly hard, the majority is doomed to fail, while the 1% smoothly sail, redistribute and share the wealth, I believe we have a right to breath and free health, I pay my taxes, not afraid of the masses, I go against the grain, use common sense and my brain, which seems to be a foreign notion, stop polluting the air and oceans, turn the globe green, there's no need for greed, with enough to go around, this moment in time is crucially profound, what we do now, will determine humanity's future no doubt, will u stand up resist and bout, or  be complicit and allow the dark clouds to shroud, consume with gloom and darkness, sold our souls become unempathetic and heartless, have hope faith and compassion, compromise sacrifice and ration, "you can't always get what u want" sang The Rolling Stones, Newton's third law explains why one reaps what they've sown, "for every action there's one equal or greater", the horizon line recedes as we approach unlike the equator, wish I heeded the warnings of danger, never fall in love with strangers, get to know them first, being ghosted while alive hurts the worst, but it's a negative reflection on them, watch my redemption again, cuz I have not only the will to live but to stubbornly succeed, I'm ambitiously driven and brave enough to fulfill all my dreams, perhaps even a lil bit out of spite, but hey I say that's ok cuz u gotta motivate urself to do what's right for u and ur own life!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/3/18

Monday, July 2, 2018

The Devil's Spawn is Gone

Reminded he's still evil, pretends I'm toxic and lethal, ignoring everything he ever said and did, he's doesn't apologize nor forgive, he's full of shit, nothing but a hypocrite, manipulates and lies, can't wait for his downfall and demise, he's a con artist, not the smartest, and the epitome of junkie, who used to be handsome and hunky, but just keeps popping those pain pills, he's vain and unfulfilled, has no clue what he wants or needs, eventually karma will catch up to him for his dirty deeds, look at all the people he's used and wronged, I mourned and longed, but I'm glad he's gone, the devil's spawn, now I know better. we weren't meant to be together, cuz he's literal white trash, stole my heart time and hundreds in cash, I'm trying to finish what he started, he's spiteful retarded and cold hearted, he really needs psychological help, he's delusional pathological bipolar and has tons of issues with his mental health, honestly he is a bad person, goes around hurting, instead of self sufficiently working, he's stalking and lurking, trying to change the narrative to make himself look good, always took what he could, never returning any favors, now I relate to all the haters, who tried warning me he's abhorrent, should've let him default on his probation payment so they'd issue a warrant, he belongs in jail, when it comes to life and love he failed, his mission do destroy me's been derailed, everyone's been happy and hailed, it isn't easy to get away from abuse, he would gaslight and confuse, falsely assume and accuse, couldn't admit his errors or lose, a poor sport, can't wait for his day in court, so maybe he'll be put away, he's an awful representation of gays, for all I care he can go to hell, sorry not sorry but I don't wish him well!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/2/18

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

What The Ruthless Truth Is

Thanks for all the views, even when I win I lose, it's give and take, don't live in hate, let love shine thru, focus more on what u do, and less about the opinions of others, how does one ghost former lovers, like Pink "I'm not dead yet", don't have to worry about bed head, cuz I'm bald silly, own ur responsibility, ur omissions make ur perspective a lie, I can't help but wonder why, it didn't have to end that way, I feel like a bad gay, since I don't believe in marriage equality, I'd actually disparage it probably, since it's basically a business arrangement, I procrastinated ur arraignment, u should've already been in jail, our relationship didn't fall apart it epically failed, even tho it was my first, ur lack of trust hurt, I couldn't take more false cheating accusations, all I wanted was an I'm sorry thanks or congratulations, u never positively supported me, u gave up and walked away abortingly, couldn't communicate, I ran out of the patience to wait, gotta get ur shit together, I didn't want to change u I hoped ud get better, I always saw the best, sometimes I have to get the negativity off my chest, so much was left unsaid, when I think of how I reacted I'm consumed with regret, I didn't mean, to wish death or demean, u kept avoiding and giving me silence, which made me enraged with violence, cuz u knew that was a huge button, perhaps we're both glutton for punishment, self sabotage and destroy, our own happiness and joy, when in fact it could be chalked up to terrible timing, some think it's incredible rhyming, but the truth is, I'm uncensored unfiltered and ruthless, ambitiously selfish, allergic to cats and shellfish, super competitive and can't handle criticism well, is Earth the synonym for hell, cuz evil rules, people are sheep and mules, rounded up like cattle, good might win the war but it seems lately we're perpetually losing battles, morale is low, wish I had a special someone to have and to hold, but blending lives appears too much, I say no to codependency cuz I'm not ur safety net/crutch, sure u can lean on me periodically but logically I can't help or save u, look at all I sacrificed and gave dude, yet it wasn't enough, that's why darling I gave up on our love!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/26/18

Thursday, June 21, 2018

All The Drama Of A Soap Opera Called Life

Don't take preference personally, ghosting really irks me, take things breath by breath, excessive worry and stress will be my death, please try not to listen, to hateful negative criticism, it'll only bring u down, words can be profound, both can be blessings, or used as weapons, so choose wisely, shouldn't come for or try me, cuz like Whitney "I don't know my own strength", many misinterpret what I meant, due to being short sighted and small minded, it's fascinating how jealousy and envy make us blinded, just like love and lust, heartbreak effects trust, leaving me jaded and cautious, pda makes me nauseous, get a room, I can't believe my relationship got ruined, over false accusations paranoia and insecurity, those lost souls and bad boys sure know how to reel in and lure me, guess these are growing pains, come in waves like the moon waxes and wanes, a never ending cycle of give and take, would u consider me genuine or fake, can one be too nice, when did it become boring and cheesy to do what's right, stop with the drama, it's life not a fucking soap opera, get out from behind those computer phone and tv screens, can't understand what giving up means, I'm overwhelmed with passion motivation and drive, suicide's not an option I'm happy to be alive, just wish existence wasn't so damn expensive, the gap between the rich and poor is quite extensive, some mistakes are irreversible, success takes patience practice good luck with timing and rehearsal, no excuses, it's why it's so illusive, most people lack energy and the will, barely scraping by after paying bills, lots of families are hurting, it's hard to fathom the level of evil lurking, ever since this administration took power, I feel like we're closer than ever before to the dawn of the final hour, what a scary thought, how could we allow our soul to be bought, at what cost, perhaps good and love lost, neither triumphed or conquered all, still I hope we can somehow miraculously recover from grace's fall!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/21/18

Monday, June 18, 2018

Try As Many Times As U Need To Succeed

Another year of the same old same old, why as we age don't we also grow, we need more diversity and inclusion, I'm sorry my mere presence is an intrusion, entertainers come in all backgrounds and forms, who decides and defines the norms, I rather not conform, it's so boring, keep being told to pay my dues, which is almost as annoying as the phrase fake news, I won't play politics, isn't performance all about talent skill and competence, every venue should be different, gay pride shouldn't be about being drunk vulgar or belligerent, all about shock value, like they just have to, make their point being offensive, always gotta be bigger flashier and more excessive, in most cases losing substance, can ya'll understand my reluctance, my own community doesn't support me, but more importantly, we're becoming judgmental and cliquey, I'm sure once I'm gone ya'll won't notice or miss me, I've lost my self confidence and worth, being left out hurts, tired of not even being acknowledged, I graduated from both high school and college, yet not compensated fairly, was hoping to be accepted by the leather and bear communities cuz I'm kinky chubby and hairy, no matter what, love is what I got, along with hope and faith, it's hard to have the patience to wait, when it seems those 15 mins aren't coming, it's hip hop that appears racist and shunning, ostracized cuz I'm gay and white, don't worry I expected the fight of my life, nothing is easy, this world's being run by the greedy evil and sleezy, they don't give a fuck about the needy, no wonder my eyes are repeatedly beady, I stay high all the time, so I can stay rationally sane and my mind fine, it's hard to maintain balance, we've turned away from empathy and valiance, morals and ethics are perceived cheesy, no one follows the golden rule and treats peeps decently, it's everyone for themselves, did u freeze ur stem cells, perhaps I should get cloned, when will old school music royalty be dethroned, when's the next generations turn, I feel success has been earned, but still no credit, if I didn't follow my dreams I would've regretted it, remember if at first u don't succeed, try try and try again as many times as u need!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/18/18

Friday, June 15, 2018

So Anxious He's Ungracious & Outrageous I'm Reacting Heinouss

Finally starting to regret my words, I wasn't justified because of the anger stemming from hurt, I lost control, felt he damaged both my reputation and soul, but he was right, all I could do was fight, constantly having to defend myself, even sought out professional help, but in the end, we can't be lovers or friends, and that just breaks my heart, he did say from the start, I simply thought he'd change his mind, too bad we can't press rewind, I'd go back and be the one to walk away, now I'm lonely and afraid, what if I don't find love again, like Pink sings "we're not broken just bent", can we ever recover, apologize and forgive each other, I honestly don't know, time isn't healing anything tho, I'm getting more and more resentful, life solo seems unfulfilling and uneventful, I can do it cuz I'm strong, can get lost in and put all those mixed emotions into a new song, unlike Taylor breakups aren't my muse, I don't wanna hear more bad news, we both need to catch a break, I wish I was blessed with the patience to wait, I'm overzealous and anxious, I too can be atrocious and react heinous, why was he so ungratefully ungracious, his lack of accountability was silly and outrageous, humans aren't angels, we're all connected and entangled, and then there's friction, I've got a social interaction addiction, not for sex drugs or booze, karaoke is one of my coping tools, also helps me practice to better my singing, I'm cursed with incessant over thinking, if only he found the trust, it was deeper than superficial lust, how can we go back, learn to cuddle hug kiss and laugh, is it possible to forget, did I make u too upset, why can't u see, I don't wanna be free, I wanted it to be, together forever ever and always u and me, but that dream is gone, gotta embrace the dawn, signaling the beginning of the next chapter, true happiness and unconditional love is what I'm after, maybe one day, the pain will fade, until then, trying to stay balanced and zen, so I don't go off the rails, nothing sucks more than admitting u did ur best yet still failed, nobody is perfect, but my insecurity keeps asking if I'm even worth it, should I be exempt, wish things ended civilly instead of with such hostility and contempt, guess I don't take criticism nor rejection well, perhaps I'm irredeemable and my final destination is hell!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/15/18

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Doing What's Human

The road to self discovery is long challenging and windy, sorry not sorry but I took the time to find me, I needed no ones approval or permission, eventually who we are comes into fruition, to hear ur calling u must first listen, try to be nonjudgmental and forgiving, cuz we as people are far from perfect, everyone should be loved and feel worth it, no matter what, be brave and have guts, u can be whatever u dream, remember nothing is as it seems, life is all illusion and perception, when ur in a dark place it's harder to see the blessings, we're all bestowed, follow ur heart and soul, it'll lead u in the right direction, fear is an infection, detoxify urself, sometimes we need meds or professional help, and there's nothing wrong with that, u can't stop people from talking bad about u behind ur back, just keep smiling and shining, they'll be crying and whining, wondering why, wishing they were that guy, since the grass seems greener from the other side, don't run and hide, resist and conquer, fight those evil monsters, does kindness really kill, there's an epidemic of abusing prescription pills, we're trying to numb the pain, existence isn't a game, we only get one world and one life, ur defined by how u react to the hurdles plight and strife, be ur own hero, instead of 2 fucks give zero, be proud of who u are, give some credit for making it this far, we can be our own worst enemy, especially with jealousy and envy, wounding our ego/pride, it's a beautiful gift to even be alive, open ur eyes wide, sit back relax and enjoy the ride, can't escape fate, are we predestined or is birth a clean slate, destiny has no hands, what's with society's outrageously expensive and high demands, let's make things simple, the speed bump's barely a blip or pimple, watch the waves, washing my footprints away, wanna do my part, leave a long legacy or lasting mark, to prove I was here, prefer to answer truth over dare, I may never find my pair, perhaps I've gone wrong awry and veered, who cares if I'm freaky kinky and weird, I'm an original individual, future generations won't benefit from residuals, we've kept kicking the can, never try to fully understand, consequences and ramifications are inevitable, my mistakes are regrettable, but like I said I'm only human, concentrate and focus more on what u urself are contributing and doing, stop the schmoozing and wooing, the unequal distribution and concentration of wealth will be our ruining!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/13/18   

May Not Recover From My Former Lover

Hurt people hurt people, funny how according to him I'm crazy toxic and evil, but usually the abused abuse, he's neglectfully forgotten or plain deluded and confused, it's the other way around, the regret is profound, I honestly wish we never met, I'm better off pretending he's dead, after all he ghosted me months ago, claimed I cheated was a barfly and an attention seeking hoe, I may have insulted him superficially but he's constantly attacked my character, when I think about his lack of responsibility I'm consumed by laughter, the truth always comes out, his insecurities and fears caused every single bout, I do wish him well I'm just angry, I hate that I still love him strangely, hope he's alright, but I just wanna yell and scream and fight, anything for him to wake the fuck up and get a clue, he would always say to me it's not what u say but what u do, I've done a ton how about u, feel like a fool cuz I fell for his ruse, a manipulative addict, would push and push and push and push til I finally had it, and lost my shit, he made me mentally unfit, he avoided problems, walking away was his how he coped and solved em, he would remain silent, making me infuriated and violent, altho I'd never hurt a fly, I'm a stoner who's usually high, so that's not my nature, sorry not sorry Kevin but now I hate ya, and that's sad to say, I can admit I got played, u used me dry, can't count the tears I've cried, but I am learning to let go, to all those saying we'll get back together HELL NO, I won't go backwards in life, made that mistake twice, what can I say other than I'm wicked stubborn, please don't believe the lies he's uttering, or actually go ahead, he made his bed, now he can lay in it, the version of me at the end wasn't my favorite, I chose to show my ugly side, he knew full well I'm an Italian Gemini, yet it didn't stop him from trying to change me, I'm very much enjoying being single lately, I think about him all the time, as I'm sure ya'll can tell from my rhymes, spewing venom out of spite, even tho I know it aint right, or a depiction of who I really am, I'm dealing with this the best way I can, not good at all, why couldn't he pick up the phone and call, maybe even apologized, he never budged or compromised, how did I become the villain, he was the one who was helpless and unwilling, I did so much, but I think it was out of just lust, he was hot and sexy as hell, unfortunately we didn't seem to mesh or gel, it's still quite a damn shame, someone I called my soulmate caused so much lasting damage and pain, I seriously might not recover, wow I never thought I would despise my former lover!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/13/18

Monday, June 11, 2018

Finished Cuz He Disrespected My Limits

It's Pride month, which reminds me I fell in love once, but now it's over, a weight's been lifted off my shoulders, I'm finally free, to be plain old me, no need to change, retracted my claws and fangs, I'd rather be single, a social butterfly ready to mingle, being nice isn't flirting, keep ignoring problems cuz it's u ur hurting, repeating that vicious cycle, he felt possessively entitled, unwilling to share, questioning if I truly cared, lacking trust, now I hate his guts, my consciousness perceives him dead, don't believe any of the bullshit he fed, I was the one ghosted, always drove paid and hosted, but he was so ungrateful, attacked my character calling me crazy lazy spoiled and unfaithful, when I never cheated, I'm the opposite of disingenuous and conceited, I prefer to help others, I never cut out of my life ex lovers, it came so natural to him, the light from the fire between us went dim, and eventually was extinguished, there wasn't any closure we were just finished, I was blocked, antagonized and mocked, portrayed the villainous bad guy, then things went mad awry, insults got out of hand, he lives in some delusional land, where nothing is ever his fault, he tried locking me in a vault, only he had access to, and was in fact a fool, with my love blinders on, got gullibly conned, he was so strikingly handsome and sexy, tried to take the best of me, to lift himself up, no matter what I didn't do enough, he's better now than before, wish we could've been more, guess it wasn't meant to be, the future is impossible to see, but I will become successful, our relationship was regrettable, wish it never happened, it was soul sucking and fattening, I felt so helplessly trapped, got stabbed both in the heart and back, he was quite evil, figures the proverbial needle, would find this sucker, he was one mean sarcastic mother fucker, his own parents were frightened and scared, insisted I kept my goatee or beard, when I like being fully shaven, he was relentlessly criticizing and blaming, everyone else, but ignored how we felt, constantly walking away, his communication skills deserved a failing grade, u can't sweep shit under the rug, and we can't be fixed with an I'm sorry a kiss or big bear hug, we are absolutely finished, that's what happens when a partner doesn't respect boundaries nor limits!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/11/18

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Great Innate Retrospection

Now that the toxicity is gone, I can finally move on, sorry to be so vulgar and hateful, but my ex was super abusive neglectful and hateful, but enough about him, my life is about to rebegin, I'm 100% single, and totally ready to mingle, so who wants to go on a date, I believe finding true unconditional love is fate, I'm not perfect but I'm pretty great, retrospection is innate, I'm always reflecting learning and growing, never claim to be always right or all knowing, I try to stay humble and modest, genuine straightforward and honest, I took the time to find who I really am, not just interested in getting off or rammed, I want someone with substance, who sees the bigger picture and circumference, well rounded and level headed, why is marriage so encouraged and embedded, I don't need a ring or certificate to be happy, nor do I want a sugar daddy, I'm independent passionate talented and driven, all about conscious living, please be woke, focus on the approach, instead of sitting idly by, don't judge me for getting high, we all have our vices, u get way further with niceness, but sometimes u need to stand firm, against the snakes fakes flakes and worms, sneaking and slithering their way in, highlighting ur sin, to deflect from theirs, research someone by talking to peers, it takes more energy to hold on then let go, remember u reap what u sow, so karma can be a bitch, most don't get rich quick, it takes hard work perseverance and persistence, u should honor ur promises and commitments, otherwise ur word has no value or meaning, I'm gonna keep expressing how I'm feeling, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, unfiltered and uncensored, I'm self taught not mentored, someday my fifteen minutes will come, and I won't forget where I'm from, but I can't stay here, especially out of fear, it's almost that time, leave the past behind, try someplace else, and hope it helps, maybe even heals, I'm done getting the raw end of deals, just cuz I'm a nice guy I'm doomed to be last, my disappointment won't be masked in fact, u can follow my diary, if ur a fan or admire me, I'm an open book, I'll get back what he took, and I'll be better than before, it's human nature to want it all and more!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/5/18

Total Waste Of Time

Him trying to make me seem like the bad person, isn't really working, he's an utter disgrace, to the entire human race, I'm sick and tired of being neglected abused and ignored, or the fact he's unemployed and always poor, he's a user and a mooch, a dirty slutty hooch, so glad that toxic relationship is over, it's like a heavy weight's been lifted off my shoulders, acted like an immature child even tho he's four years older, his heart and soul have grown blacker and colder, he's basically an evil piece of shit, with many double standards a hypocrite, I can't wait for the day, somebody treats him the same way, he's treated countless others, he has a long list of hurt lovers, I'm sure he'll wind up just like his mother a cunt/bitch, impossible to deal with, I despise him with every ounce of my being, expressing my bitter resentful anger is so freeing, I hope he reads this and cries, could honestly care less if he dies, he's already ghosted me, no matter how hard I would beg and plead, he never listened, wish I let him go to prison, instead I fell for his trap, I know in the end I'll have the last laugh, nobody will put up with his crap, he'll talk behind and stab u in the back, never takes responsibility or blame, he loves playing the silent game, walking away from problems, sweeping them under the rug to never solve em, he's quite the illusionist a pathological liar, and I was preached to by the choir, but I was blinded by love, unfortunately I wasn't ever good enough, no matter what I tried to do, got played for a fool, I was just a tool, to make him look better and cool, while he brought me down, the destructive aftermath has been profound, I've simply given up, gay culture is defined by lust, consumed by booze and sex, there's no hope left, he flaked on me for the last time, now I will not be respectful or kind, this is me like it or not, in the end I learned he was simply just a twot!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/5/18   

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Do Ya'll See Society's Irony In Its Entirety

This world's getting out of control, we've done gone and lost our soul, no more morals, the poor coral, and the Great Barrier Reef, man made pollution is a big pet peeve, but ignorance is the worst, discrimination in any form hurts, where is our empathy, even friends are now our enemies, divided by politics race and religion, seems we've turned Earth into a prison, when did sexuality become a choice, like Ariel we have no voice, made a deal with the devil, not everyone deserves a gold medal, otherwise it devalues its worth, of course humanity is cursed, didn't u learn the story of Jesus' death, he died to save us but left us hexed, we're all born with original sin, I wonder what will happen if we let evil win, perhaps a third coming, that would be jaw-droppingly stunning, we need to reset our compass, be much more compassionate and understanding than Trump is, vote for better leaders, not shady business wheelers and dealers, this is a country, not a money making company, that's why capitalism is outdated, unfair competition breeds resentment and hatred, no one should live to work, I'm sick of concentrated wealth and greedy jerks, let's go back to bartering, look at all the insecurity ur harboring, find ur calling, cuz wasted time and energy is abhorrently appalling, it's one thing to explore more thru trial and error, both patience and tenacity must be measured, it's hard to strike balance, it's not enough to have special skills and talents, money is a necessity, which often gets the best of me, cuz then I start to get hopeless, I'm a lil jealous of those artists who are precocious, but then again I've always been a late bloomer, don't wanna be associated as a doom and gloomer, rather be inspirational and positive, I refuse to stay closeted, cuz hip hop don't like gays, from my perspective being black not white pays, two strikes against me, I push forward apprehensively, safety first, most rappers perform without shirts, but I'm a shorty jock cub, with a bald head that loves to be rubbed for good luck, except when I'm sweaty, put me in coach I'm ready, give me the spotlight, I don't wanna just be a cashier at ShopRite, or at some cubicle office temp job, don't have the stomach to be a hit man for the mob, so nurse or emt is out of the question, there are points when I fail to appreciate my blessings, yes I'm fallible, prefer to dress casual, no suit and tie, usually used to be high, now everything's in moderation, can't help think there's some kind of conspiracy theory underground operation, u know a Russian secret society, that reliably uses a variety of psychiatry, to defiantly finally destroying the American dynasty, do ya'll see the irony in its entirety?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/30/18

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Take Charge & Control Of Ur Life & Soul

Tomorrow marks another year of life, 36 years of pain plight and strife, still not happy or fulfilled, I often feel like a failure ill prepared and unskilled, but trying to stay optimistic and positive, I've never seen so much repression with men staying closeted, well into old age, sexuality isn't just a phase, I came out at 25, never felt so alive, safe and free, finally getting to know the real me, but it was hard in a sea of expectation from others, traveled cross country twice and only had a few lovers, I'm neither a slut nor a prude, u get further by being nice then rude, nobody likes an ass, some sarcastic sass can be brash abrasive and crass, insecurity isn't easily masked, time sure does fly by fast, missed many moments, I hope to reap the benefits from all my sowings, while the Earth keeps rotating in spinsanity, will it be inevitably destroyed by humanity, constantly plagued by a God complex, is ur belly button concave or convex, u a lefty or a righty, I can get stoned zoned out and flighty, day dreaming winning that Grammy, most can't stomach or understand me, mistake me as arrogant conceited and cocky, why ya'll trying to stop me, from getting my fifteen minutes, it's not when u start but how u finish, slow and steady supposedly wins the race, to clear the hurdles u face pick up the pace, nobody will stop to lend a helping hand, often wonder how long my legacy will span, especially thru music, every person and experience I encounter I try to use it, make it my inspirational muse, we learn more when we lose, blame gravity for falling, some people never find their passion or calling, wandering about aimlessly, wanting to be idolized famously, with an abundance of fortune, without having to succumb to overworking exhaustion, like Amy "they try to make me go to rehab", I need some meditational squirming in my leather sleepsack, under some big hot jock feet, worshiping his man meat, til we both explode, gotta keep the faith and have hope, that all my fantasies and dreams will come true, ur reputation is a combination of both what u say and do, be ur best self, I welcome help, not good at criticism tho, always asked what do u know Joe, it's a very common question, I'm super grateful and appreciative of all my blessings, including my tenacity and drive, next time u see me give me the JC Solut or a high five, as a enthusiastic congratulations, keep ur pity sorrow tho and ur adulation, I hate passive aggressive condescension, there's no such thing as equality forever or perfection, it's all about first impressions, success takes a ton of trial and error guessing, nobody has the existential answers, it's polite manners to greet peeps with a smile and friendly banter, a simple hello to break the ice, health care should be an inalienable right, let's redistribute concentrated wealth, instead of playing victim take charge and control of the hand uve been dealt, don't sell ur soul, now and then smoke a bowl, no regrets, just give it ur all and try ur best!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/23/18 

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

In The Vicinity Of Rap Divinity

Ur silence worries me more than anything u could say, u can't change things the harder u pray, it takes action, not verbal lashings, candid criticism, when neither of us is listening, we're both a mess, jynxed
and hexed, in pain and stressed, wondering what happens next, guess I'm single and ready to mingle, they're chocolate jimmies or rainbow sprinkles, there are Granny Smith and other apples, failed relationships are hard to grapple, hope my heart heals, while my soul still is brave enough to deeply trust and feel, I don't want to be jaded by lost love, we just had to give up, focus on our individual selves, keeping busy helps, a healthy way to deal, I need an empathy shield, so I don't lose and confuse what's urs and what's mine, I'm questioning if it pays to be kind, evil seems to be prosperously winning, morality and common sense are thinning, it's like a free fall for all, u ever get so angry only thing u can do is ball, plus I say stuff I don't mean, if only my insults could make u bleed, sorry not sorry I wanna hurt u as bad as u did me, I don't wanna be free, what happened to "I'm Yours", don't make me get down on all fours, but while I'm there, we never really celebrated 1 year, like it didn't even matter, I noticed I was getting lazier and fatter, way too comfortable, was waiting for him to be less insufferable, I always saw the best version of him, would suck it up often and let him win, usually he was wrong, he's a music career expert from djing and creating one song, laugh out loud, I've got 22 boo and I'm super proud, all I ever wanted was a compliment tho, and wanted ur approval u know, urs was the opinion that I cherished most, wish I didn't always have to drive pay and host, wasn't much of a partnership, how does one go about getting a grant donation or sponsorship, I could use some financial assistance, I heard dreams come true with passion talent drive and persistence, so I keep on working and growing, want my name to blow up like a volcanic explosion, so I can live my truth, otherwise the point to life seems aloof, I refuse to be put on hold or mute, got a great smile and adorably cute, but give me the mic and one of my beats, and I become drop dead sexy, exuding raw divinity, jaw dropping awe and amazement quieting everyone in the surrounding vicinity, the "attention grabber", "a faggot cracker rapper", who breaks barriers limitations expectations and walls, is anyone else having good hip hop withdrawals, cuz I am, not looking for "Stan" fans, just trying to relate and connect, I am not God and far from the best, but I certainly try, wanna leave a lasting legacy that can survive long after I die, epic and legendary, I truly do believe in faith and my destiny!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/15/18

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Got One Shot So Try Why Not

Ur deficiency of empathy, is why we're not meant to be, I refuse to go back, u inspire me to lack tact, ur silence, enrages violence, especially with words, my anger stems from hurt, u never valued my worth, perhaps this is ur curse, u get in ur own way, unreliable when it's time to do or follow thru with what u say, what a waste of love, nothing was ever good enough, u can't help someone become unstuck, no control over karma or luck, guess now's the chance to refocus, do u believe in hocus pocus, magic can't fix reality, God/Jesus is synonymous in all actuality, except that divinity may not be just a simple illusion, people are easily manipulated thru confusion, distraction is easy, it's not in my nature to be slutty or sleazy, I don't want someone who codependently needs me, in San Diego I could smoke weed legally, but here in Rhode Island I can't, which is hard to comprehend and understand, my symptoms haven't changed, capitalism is strange, there's nothing fair about it, so why do we allow shit, like the huge gap in distribution of wealth, obviously our government doesn't care for it's citizens' health, u gotta pay to play, a smile can make a day, cuz when ur poor or broke, it's tough to keep the faith alive and hope, I shouldn't have hatefully spoke, nor angrily wrote, but I was desperate to release, why do I appease and people please, my opinion's the only one that really matters, it's been forever since I've played Chutes & Ladders, or better yet Mall Madness, I'll do anything to distract myself from the sadness, seriously I'm crippled, my patience has whittled, I'm over my mirror's reflection, I have to do some soul protecting, to refrain from becoming numb and jaded, relationships are overrated, I just wanna be happy, instead all I feel is crappy, cuz too much is left unfinished and unsaid, are u ever in so much pain u wish for death, rather drown than have a shattered heart, how did that accident happen or that fire start, perhaps I'm a demonic hit-man for the source, wish we regarded education over sports, look at the way we treat our teachers, don't punish the dreamers, this country was built on immigrants, now it's plagued with ignorance, are we the next Rome, will next world war be fought at home, as we watch the dollar collapse, ignore more and more political mishaps, another rapture victim, Earth is a prison system, our bodies a temple, wish I had insurance that covered vision too and dental, survival is all mental, life ain't a rental, u got one shot, so instead of constantly asking why try why not!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/10/18

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Broaden Ur Range & Change

Keep losing my shit, over his abusiveness, he won't talk, but apparently stalks like a hawk, his friends aren't helping either, I believe less in love than I do this country's leader, both are narcissists, working out pot and bondage are sources of catharsis, almost medicinal, I can't stand his double standards that are hypocritical, his lack of taking responsibility never ceases to amaze, he makes me lose control of my patience and grace, I just wanna spit in his face, and tell him what a fucking disgrace, of a human being, maybe it would be freeing, so I can let him go, this is me just venting tho, I don't really wanna do that, I simply feel stabbed in the back, by someone who once claimed they loved me, despite he never could trust me, constantly falsely accused, put up with his emotional psychological verbal and neglectful abuse, he always had some stupid excuse, which was all a pathological ruse, based on lies, he never could compromise, just a codependent user, a condescending asshole/loser, I want out of existence, my apologies were persistent, but he'd never give me the satisfaction or respect, out of sight out of mind and easier to forget, except there's still a ton left unsaid, ugly wishful thinking he was dead, which makes me hate myself, I was trying to help, think he got blinded by my parent's wealth, wouldn't even take care of his own health, slept the days away, kept my hope and faith in spades, but what a waste of time and energy, we both have to live with our relationship's legacy, which ended in disgust, questioning whether it was true love or just lust, what did I even really like about him, I swam seas and climbed the highest mountain, but it still wasn't good enough, gay dating is rough and tough, no matter how much I huff and puff, dust builds up, can't sweep it all under the rug, follow ur instincts and guts, listen to friends and family, people connive underhandedly, in it for selfish reasons, some are seasons, let them be and change, broaden ur scope and range, experiment boundaries and limits, don't be so gullible to gimmicks, fall for those same old tricks pricks and dicks, use ur intelligence and wits, and ride solo, since yolo, don't let endless possibilities pass u by, while u were standing there pondering why, u got surpassed, I will have the last laugh, if u continue with sobriety ull eventually want to make amends, sorry not sorry ur the one who said we could never be friends, so I won't forgive u, ur negative and morbid too, brought me down to ur depressed level, but I refuse to become beaten and disheveled, I will persevere, cuz u made me so numb I no longer give 2 fucks or care!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/8/18

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Don't Call The Coroner

On the road again, cuz it takes time to mend, guess we should've started friends, it's awful when a relationship ends, I've been unkind, wish I could rewind, but we can't, so I'll be a man, and own up to my mistakes, I was consumed by hate, mostly stemming from hurt, staying distracted with work, and obviously doing music, I try to take the emotion and use it, especially when I'm singing, nobody knows the intensity of my over feeling and thinking, it can be debilitating, getting a standing ovation can be exhilarating, it's not fame or attention I'm craving, more the overall connecting and relating, I want no one to be or feel alone, we all deserve love success and a happy home, I no longer wish to get revenge or fight, I realize a lot of what I did wasn't right, but I can't take complete blame, trust isn't a game, u either do or u don't, had to forgive myself cuz he won't, nor will he talk, shouldn't have drawn lines in sand or with chalk, cuz some are hard red, I wonder if this is was God meant, is this really the path, why do I get so mad, esp when it's at things beyond my control, guess my soul couldn't handle the role, of partner or gardener, stop trying to be martyrs, the world needs to wake up and be smarter, fixing this mess will get much harder, can't keep kicking the proverbial can, desperately need beach sand and a tan, to help get over those winter blues, probably could use new shoes, does anybody actually like to lose, I totally prefer pot instead of booze, is reality a ruse, if life's built for twos I'm screwed, cuz I'm flying solo, my new motto is yolo, always seek the truth, nobody's opinion should be put on mute, use ur voice, express ur choice, show some class and poise, if ur feeling Joe Conscious let me hear some noise, it's supposed to be raining men not boys, I'm content with my hand and some toys, cuddling would be nice tho, can't handle the price woes, barely keeping my own head afloat, I could definitely give it another go, ask me out on a date, even better if u paid, an apology or compliments are surely welcome, kink can no longer be seldom, it's a necessity, pursue passion aggressively, follow ur heart and gut, get urself out of that depressive rut, change ur luck, never give up, a new opportunity could be right around the corner, no need to call the coroner, love's not dead, just giving myself space to cool down and let my emotions better connect with my level head!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/3/18

Friday, April 27, 2018

Forgive & Let Live

I know he made me happy cuz now I'm not, maybe he does still love me just forgot, but there was never trust on his part, dealing with double standard hypocrisy was too hard, think it's finally time to move again, make new friends, get away from this place, feel like a failure and a disgrace, I let myself down the most, I wonder if I'll miss him like the west coast, but I wanna go somewhere different I've never lived, I know I won't get the satisfaction of being forgived, which isn't a word, I know how absurd, a rapper making up lingo, wish we had a chance to go together to musical bingo, for shizzle my nizzle, but our relationship has more than simply fizzled, but there will always be love there, we got consumed by insecurities and fear, I'm done tho playing the blame game, gotta focus on fame, being an indy artist, stay humble grounded and modest, cuz nobody likes conceited or cocky, I wanna win a Grammy and nothing or nobody can stop me, I'm determined and driven, working isn't living, it's supposed to improve quality, in all honesty, I think evil has taken over, sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, I wanna make my parents proud, perhaps I share too much too loud, like an open book, I prefer not to cook, that doesn't mean I can't, I want a man who understands, that I am who I am, I like to try to make plans, but with so many fakes and flakes, flying solo seems to be my fate, and I'm ok with that, love isn't something I lack, I'm lucky and blessed, I don't believe in perfection or that I'm the best, always bettering myself, unafraid to admit I need help, at the end of the day we're all just people, do not succumb to the powers of evil, stay true to who u are, always follow ur gut and heart, please don't sell ur soul either, I tend to be more spiritual than a Jesus believer, altho I grew up Catholic, I wanna be a superstar not an asterisk, but only ya'll can help make that happen, instead of condescendingly laughing, take a listen to my songs, especially after ripping the bong, and if it's not ur cup of tea, that's totally fine with me, but if u do than tell a fellow hip hop fan, seems good smart lyrical content isn't in demand, like Meghan sings "it's all about that bass", why's rap music anti white and gays, like either of those are disqualifying traits, finding success is a maze, that basically just leads to dead ends, I've thought about officiating weddings, or doing massage therapy professionally, I tried adult day care but I wasn't prepared mentally, now instead of paralegal I'm a fiscal clerk, who knows what future careers lurk, wish my art would pay the bills, still have to make a will, just in case, of the Rapture/End Of Days, hope we can change our course to a forward direction, make sure if ur unhappy with our president u go out in vote in elections!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/27/18

Thursday, April 26, 2018

From Inspirational Muse To A Brown Noun

There's nothing better than an artist scorned, my desire to write and create has been reborn, instead of letting love turn to hate, I'll put all that wasted emotion into the music I make, it'll take time to heal, nobody can make u do or feel, it is always ur choice, my mind is consumed with so much noise, societal expectation and criticism, I swear most people are only pretending to listen, only caring about themselves, unempathetic and unwilling to help, unless of course it benefits them in some way, sick of this mentality u gotta pay to play, life is funny, fuck love just give me the money, it's the only thing that really matters, if u wanna be popular abstain from getting fatter, we're super superficial, self righteous and hypocritical, judgmental sinners, criminals are the winners, don't u know the nice finish last, time is too precious and flies by fast, so seize the moment, keep moving forward learning and growing, we're all works in progress, stop with the macho dick swinging contest, ya'll trying too hard, play the hand dealt in cards, quit comparing with envy, watch out for back stabbing from jealousy, they'll build u up just to tear u down, my ex is definitely a brown noun, I have hope tho again, finally reconnecting with real friends, he made my world small, taught me to build barriers and walls, especially around my heart, actually he wasn't very smart, cuz nobody survives alone, gotta let the bad past go, otherwise it'll destroy future opportunity, I wanna contribute to the rise of our community, prove that sexual preference can't supersede talent, I try to stay cordial respectful and valiant, but when I repeatedly take the blame, I started to realize u were playing me like a game, a perpetrator can never be the victim, perhaps I should've just let u go to prison, instead I enabled u, made a fool, gullible ignorant and naive, I don't need to grieve, cuz I understand I was used, that's just what drug addicts and users do, I don't think he truly ever even love me, and now I'm free, single and ready to mingle, while the people who care about him dwindle, sometimes it's a curse to see the best in others, there's a huge difference between codependent necessity and unconditional partnered lovers, I'm still waiting for the latter, u assume I got my parent's silver platter, there's nothing further from the truth, yes I may live under their roof, and I am very blessed, but I'm humble enough to know I'm no better than the rest, I'm not cocky or conceited, I was the only one to be there whenever u needed, cuz u were ungrateful, kept falsely accusing me of being unfaithful, delusional with double standards, that would make it easier for u if I was a philanderer, but I'm not, give it all u got, u won't ruin my reputation, go see a psychiatrist or get an education, and quit ur pity party bitching, pretty soon ull be missing my kissing, but I'll be like Kelly sings "already gone", ull no longer be my muse or inspiration for poems or songs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/26/18   

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Just Infatuation & Lust

Think we finally killed any love left, wish I could sue u for theft, not only did u steal my heart but u shattered it too, when I think back on all we've been thru, I realize it was such a waste of precious time, I'm done trying, u obviously don't wanna make this work, u continuously act like a jerk, never changing for the better, I'm happier when we're not together, uve always been a real let down, incapable of romance self sustainability or being intellectually profound, ur underemployed and can't drive, ur full of false assumptions and lies, good luck and well wishes, I'm sick of double standards from hypocritical bitches, I may be spoiled and coddled, but fuck ur judgmental criticisms u aint no role model, in fact ur a prime example of what not to be, u can keep turning everything around on me, but people can see thru ur illusion, ur recollection of things is utter delusion, ur a pathetic excuse of a partner, neither a flower nor a gardener, u don't have a pot to piss in, I've been too forgiving, totally enabling ur bad habits, our relationship is mad tragic, ur not anywhere near my caliber or level, I hope without me u spiral and dishevel, I kept u afloat so long, u never apologized or admitted u were wrong, extremely insecure and jealous, u made pursuing my dreams hellish, abusively unsupportive and neglectful, staying with u a year has made me regretful, I'm embarrassed I fell for ur tricks, sorry not sorry Kevin but ur dismissed, we are officially over, a huge weight's lifted off my shoulders, I can breathe again, doubt we'll be friends, and I'm glad we're done, u won hun, I'd rather be single and alone, then sacrifice myself to create us a happy home, no more riding coattails bubba, I only wanted a lover, not someone I have to take care of and save, ur bipolarness comes in waves, but when it does it sucks, I've come to learn that this wasn't love it was infatuation and lust, ur ugly on the inside, which u can't hide, there were no tears cried, today music lived it was my love for u that died. 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/25/18

Friday, April 20, 2018

Instantly Knew It Was U

Wish there was more I could do to cheer u up
Sometimes my love isn't enough
Ur so incredible
Only one to have access to my unmentionables
Ur the first person I think of
I wanna be there right now to give u a hug
U poor thing
Why can't I reciprocate the joy u bring
I'm wicked easy to please
Ur not only what I want but what I need
Beautiful both inside and out
From the minute u put ur lips to my mouth
Instantly I knew
The person I wanna spend the rest of my life with is u

-Joe Conscious
4/20/18

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Don't Be Indifferent To The Blistering Belligerent Bickering

Haven't had much to say, in the past few days, but it doesn't mean I ain't stressed, perhaps it's writer's block I guess, I've been so focused on my new album coming out, hope it helps finally give me some respect and clout, I don't need money or awards, I'm perfectly happen with some name recognition and applause, at least for now, I'd achieve success if I knew how, what am I doing wrong, maybe too lengthy wordy songs, people don't like to think, in fact common sense is almost extinct, hip hop music today stinks, rappers self proclaim themselves Gods and kings, without paying any dues, who makes up these industry standards and rules, cuz I'm confused, why are indy artists neglected and abused, if Macklemore and Chance can do it so can I, performing for me is a natural rush/high, trying to spread that "Truth Love & Consciousness", I'm sick of all this unintelligent nonsensical obnoxiousness, what happened to the value of lyrics, is there a moral to the story or didn't I hear it, we need to grow past this ghetto gangster mentality, but go back to before digital and virtual reality, it's consuming human's existence, like a ravenous contagious plague epidemic and there's no resistance, when it comes to history we're pretty much ignorant, enough with being indifferent to the blistering belligerent bickering, between repubs and dems, let's not toe the fiscal cliff again, stop playing with our lives, fuck political lies and bribes, the economy isn't something to play with, Trump's divided us and shed light on our nation's discriminating hatred, it's like it's inherently ingrained, the working poor are becoming more and more enslaved, simpleton monotonous robots, hitting brick walls dead ends and roadblocks, at every step or turn, the nice guy's always getting robbed or burned, defined by atrocity, conclusions aren't answered logically, can't follow ur train of thought, how does one's soul get bought, does a heart actually break, do we have free will or prisoners of predestined fate, stuck pondering, aimlessly wandering, searching for some purpose and meaning, when did we collectively give up on believing, especially in our individual power within, is there redemption from any sin, what about losing faith, have no hope thing's will still change, nothing's getting better or easier, just harder and sleazier, hard work no longer pays, criminals are idolized and praised, even elected president, society turned backwards upside down and it's pretty evident, peace has been replaced by chaos, let's have a seance, to talk to MLK Bob Marley or Pac, so I can ask these revolutionaries how the hell they made it to the top, leaving an incredibly long epic legacy, many try to replicate out of envy and jealousy, this isn't a west vs east coast revelry, bop ur head or tap ur feet to the melody, please just do me the favor and remember me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/11/18

Thursday, April 5, 2018

A Stagnant Magnet

One day left to go for the work week, does anybody else feel like life's a jerk on repeat, after a while it all seems the same, like existence is just a game, and I'm losing badly, would start from scratch gladly, but not ready to give up, America's the new Titanic our ship's sunk, why don't we live love, I miss his hugs, I don't see him enough, guess it's tough luck, success is aloof, there's no proof of the truth, we ultimately decide, what if religion is an elaborate lie, simply used as a tool to control, why in business is there no ethical heart or soul, what's more important experience or education, u for holistic remedies or medication, u know pharmaceuticals own our government, corporations oil companies and big banks aren't suffering, in fact they got tax cuts, haven't ya'll had enough, so much corruption and greed, nothing is free, not even the air we breathe, is God a he or a she, perhaps a genderless it, pondering existential questions is some strenuous shit, I mean did the chicken or egg come first, why did Jesus leave us cursed, is Earth really hell, and Trump the devil, kinda makes sense, we're extremely divided and tense, on the verge of both civil and world wars, as the rich 1%'s wealth astronomically soars, will there be a financial collapse, debt can enslave and entraps, humans appear to be naive ignorant gullible saps, while pay raises collectively lags and drags, going on decades with no increase, with mass school shootings we expect teachers to be police, they're already parenting our kids, do u realize that Santa the Easter Bunny and the Tooth-fairy are elaborate fibs, duping exponential generations, shouldn't make blanket statements based on generalizations, stereotypes aren't always accurate, can conception really be immaculate, I wanna know who shot, JFK Biggie and Pac, we need to redefine our inalienable rights, why does everything resort to violent demonstrations or fights, there's no hope for peace, look what we sowed and reaped, is this the legacy we want to leave, no fundamental faith or belief, wolves are outnumbering sheep, the uphill battle is dangerously steep, I keep trying to save up money to move and just leave, wish I still had some tricks up my sleeve, but I'm all out of ideas, compromised by my fears, so I'm unmotivated and stagnant, lost souls are attracted to me like a magnet, I'm no better off, tho I walk my talk, I'm in the same boat, that can't carry us across the moat, an outsider begging to be let in, finally gays get their wedding, but they're not impervious to divorce, does patience have its rewards, cuz I haven't seen any fruits from my labor, ya'll are foolish to think Trump would be our savior, fuck the electoral college, Congress is void of all common sense wisdom and knowledge, basically useless and rather inept, how can we avoid the gravity effect, that which rises must fall, funny how 2 superpowers can make the whole global economy stall.

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/5/18 

Friday, March 30, 2018

Death Makes Me An Emotional Wreck

Of course hell exists, we're living in it, if ya'll actually analyze life, it ain't nothing but pain atrocity tragedy and strife, we all wind up dead, but true extinction is when we forget, we live on thru the minds and hearts of others, how can u be billionaires be greedy while the 98% suffers, lying and cheating, is one degree lower than killing and stealing, get what u want by hard work, don't be a smart jerk, it's still wrong even if u didn't get caught, our soul's priceless and should never be bought, stand up for what u believe in, look at the results ur yielding, but u determine what success is, shouldn't strive for perfection or to be the bestest, I'm ok with above average, my life isn't less valuable cuz I didn't have kids or a marriage, I know I am worthy, both God and the universe have burned me, but I'm still here, I refuse to be ruled by fear, it isn't easy trying to stay positive, negativity like sexuality shouldn't be closeted, nobody is happy all the time, stop saying ur fine, especially if ur not, gotta give ur passion everything uve got, or else dreams won't come true, put urself in someone else's shoes, before u criticize or judge, life's way too short to hold a grudge, love is stronger than hate, do u think there's free will or a predestined fate, that answer decides who holds the power, what do u want to accomplish before ur final hours, there isn't enough emphasis on developing a legacy, do u want to be kept alive artificially/medically, cremated or buried, did school actually help get u adult ready, lately I've been all over the place, must remember life is a journey not a race, don't compare urself to ur peers, there's no better high than tons of applause compliments and cheers, u can't recapture ur youth, ur not helping hiding the truth, remain genuine open and honest, it's overwhelming being an indy artist, money is the biggest issue, I woke up this morning needing a tissue, cuz I kept dreaming about Jeff, I'm such an emotional mess, but I'll cherish the fond memories, refrain from making enemies, by simply doing the right thing, never give up and let the fight win, find some inner peace, strive to go farther than u can reach, "Beyond The Stars", are women really from Venus and men from Mars, it's kind of logical, we need to pick better role models, fuck Trump, Bernie should've won, now we're extremely divided, how have we become so numb and misguided, forgetting to learn from our past history, humanity's survival is very much a mystery, with nuclear weapons galore, I never understood the allure of war, what does it solve, why can't we existentially elevate and evolve, enough is enough already people, please don't let the whole globe get destroyed and corrupted by evil!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/30/18

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Everything Isn't Always Colorful Or Wonderful

It's been a rough week, to say the least, but it's getting really old, why are God the universe and karma so cold, like they enjoy seeing us suffer and squirm, I don't need tragedy to learn, I am perfectly capable of evolving, handling conflict and problem solving, without having to fail, sometimes I get so angry I actually wail, I'm so sick of life, all the pain plight and strife, it's just never-ending, the ghosting defriending and benching, it's almost too much to bare, and nobody really cares, cuz they're tired of my bitching and complaining, I understand it's annoying and draining, but I go above and beyond for other people, the lack of reciprocity is unbelievable, for them to say they didn't ask, please don't make me laugh, it doesn't excuse u from being indebted, why are guilt and shame so embedded, I have this inane inability to say no, when do I get to reap what I sow, I've worked long and hard, gave all my soul and heart, yet it isn't enough, I'm unsuccessful at both music and love, so I ask myself what is the fucking point, I wanna smoke a fat ass blunt or joint, then contemplate existential questions, when ur stuck in a rut it's impossible to see and appreciate any blessings, I've run out of time patience and luck, I have this extreme insatiable appetite of unfulfilled horniness and lust, I need some kinky sex, feel like my relationship is hexed, every day goes by and nothing's changed, except I'm more bitter jaded combative and enraged, I want compliments and credit, imagine if we could go back to edit, mistakes wouldn't happen, I'd forego college to pursue rapping, it sucks being such a late bloomer, perhaps I should take over for my dad and be a dog breeder/boarder/groomer, I simply want my future to be financially sustainable and secure, takes tremendous strength to avoid being consumed by fame's allure, even tho I know it's imperative, to move forward less negative, something has got to give, I'm frustrated and pissed, that everybody else gets to take and take and take, I hate the spoiled fakes and flakes, getting my hopes and expectations up, ya'll don't have half my drive or guts, but receive no empathy or compassion, keep waiting for action, when we have the power to make fate, given free will and a blank slate, unless u believe in predestiny, human's are responsible regrettably, since by nature we're fallible, the word war isn't palatable, violence can't be the answer, perhaps we're in fact a type of cancer, maybe Earth is just a snow globe, do u ever wanna go rogue, run away and hide, close ur eyes and die, those aren't good thoughts, I pretend to be butterflies and moths, depending on if I'm feeling colorful, wish I was genuinely happy and wonderful, but the truth is I'm not, probably won't be very long now before I'm replaced by a robot!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/29/18

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Stop Waiting On The Other Shoe To Drop

Accidents happen, but is God up there laughing, cuz I feel like he's a sadistic prick, an outright asshole/dick, there are so many flaws in creation, him and I need mediation, we've got issues, it's always neglect or abuse, who's the Gemini here, death provokes extreme fear, I'm tired of the universe fucking with me, work's life sucking ain't free, in fact I make out in the deal, but I swear taxes are imposed to legally steal, our government is so fucked up and corrupt, citizens are about to erupt, they no longer serve the people, while our president is the very definition of evil, a ruthless business man, every election I'm like "what is this sham", it's not even about the popular vote, runs our country like it's a reality tv show, quite frankly I'm disgusted, Amazon and Walmart are even invading the rural and rustic, technology's making humanity obsolete, black folks still can't really trust cops and police, there's so much systemic racism discrimination and prejudice, sometimes sheer existence seems incredulous, too many unanswerable questions, how can atrocity be perceived as a blessing, rock bottom sucks, what if ur consistently down on ur luck, stuck in rut, and got the awful feeling in ur gut, just waiting for the other shoe to drop, can this curse be stopped, is the point of life to die, do I even believe in an invisible man in the sky, who was magically able to resurrect and rise, could miraculously turn water into wine, but also heals and cleanses, empathy's about seeing things from other perspectives and lenses, open ur mind's eye, of course we can all fly, there's Southwest Delta and United, perhaps tragedy is needed for a spark or flame to be ignited, light inevitably conquers darkness, don't sell ur soul or become numb and heartless, like Mariah sings "gotta keep the faith", "and love will be there to guide the way", having hope is the key, shouldn't focus on how long is eternity, ull simply stress urself out, be brave bout and don't be afraid to help shout, our collective voice is super strong, in time history will tell what was virtuously righteous and true or wrong, it is pretty much common sense, it's ok to make mistakes fail and fall if u take responsibility learn and repent, sorrow and forgiveness are important, we all need a support system and reinforcements, "we get by with a little help from our friends", be sure to respect elders and ur rents, they are full of wisdom, Earth is our kingdom, like our bodies are temples we must take care of them, tho I often wonder if we are born again, reincarnated and recycled, some say my generation is spoiled and entitled, whatever our future holds, always try ur best to achieve dreams and goals but enjoy the journey as it unfolds!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/28/18 

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Let's Assess This Where Success Is

I need to change my ways, having lots of trouble these days, my anxiety is always thru the roof, the next level seems to be aloof, no matter what I try, I can't crossover to the other side, to where success is, let's collectively assess this, I double majored and got a BA in college, got years of work experience common sense and street knowledge, I'm very well traveled, but my goal's future's becoming unraveled, how do I make it as an emcee/rapper, I wanna celebrate be happy and find laughter, lately I've been consumed by gloom and doom, maybe it's time to take shrooms, trip and live a little, am I the grape skittle, u know the one no one likes, why is our relationship defined by fights, it's like my life ghosted me, I'm a late bloomer while ya'll progress precociously, and boy am I stubborn, or a punishment glutton, constantly reimagining anecdotes, trying to provide inspiration insight truth love and hope, cuz everything appears dark and dreary, people are hanging on by a thread barely, it's quite scary, and I consider myself a brave radical fairy, my partner must learn to share me, this light shouldn't be dimmed, let's start over and rebegin, I know I can do much better, let's write each other more love letters, I want to make u feel special, cuz ur super sexy and insanely incredible, but now somehow I've neglected myself, I seriously need help, therapy and meds aren't enough, what if we're perpetually cursed with bad luck, there's a limit to how much shit a person can take, I guess we can all be fake, everything in moderation right, do u think it's impossible to do hip hop if ur gay and white, is there some kind of unspoken rule I never knew, it's 2018 I figured there'd already at least be a few, #metoo, why do minorities lose, women of course as the majority are the exception, what if existence is inception, how do we know if we're in the matrix or real and awake, one inexplicable question I can't shake, what came first the egg or the chicken, do u ever wish u could give God a good ass kicking, I'm not trying to be funny, why do we repeatedly sacrifice happiness for money, thinking we can buy it, who came up with the idea to deep fry shit, there are so many magnificent anomalies and divine wonders, humanity's original sin creates thunderous blunders, just look at global warming, imagine if oil came with a warning, produces smog which kills the ozone and mother nature, technological inventions are supposed to make us more efficient and society greater, not used for evil, every single person alive should be treated regal, with a certain decency and respect, technically we're all cops and it's our job to serve and protect, remember it takes a village, don't rape kill loot or pillage, but patience is the ultimate virtue, be careful tho cuz karma will still come back around and hurt u!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/27/18 

Friday, March 9, 2018

Respectfully Cherish & Mourn Jeff's Gone

Death's destiny, but there isn't one single childhood memory, that does't include Jeff, at least the moments I cherish best, he was a great person and an even better dad, altho he wasn't my own his passing is equally tragic and sad, I'm still kind of in shock, guess that clock does go tick tock, like my pops says all the time, when the page with ur name on it comes up in ur book there's no reason or rhyme, while we're left behind, always treat people kind, cuz u don't know what they're going thru, yes u can literally walk in another person's shoes, but metaphorically speaking, let's celebrate Jeff's spirit leaving, finally at peace, with other loved ones who've deceased, hope u can find some comfort in that, nobody has the power to bring him back, now we have an angel watching over us, making him proud is another reason to follow passions and guts, I don't wanna rule the world I wanna lead it, why don't ya'll deeply feel shit, guys sympathize too, they simply aren't emotionally wooed or ruled, I'm sorry not sorry if ya'll are uncouth, or if u can't handle the truth, life is hard, u gotta be both book and street smart, cuz one will only get u so far, don't u wanna leave a long lasting legacy or an epic mark, I know I do for sure, it doesn't make me a bad guy for wanting it all or more, I'm overzealously driven, isn't being extremely stubborn as an Italian Gemini a given, basically common sense, can someone tell me where our soul went, or our collective conscious conscience, we must always fight for loved ones the fallen and forgotten, cuz soldiers are the real heroes, toeing the front line facing ground zero, visualizing war, more than half don't even know what they're fighting for, all that blood and gore, lifeless bodies galore washed ashore, it's all devastatingly stunning, innocents' cries and screams while running from blazing and roaring gunning, it's utter chaos and sheer fear, nobody's spared, even millions who weren't even there, anyone who uve ever touched cares, even those faces of names u can't remember, or the stranger u smiled at and it made their day better, u must take responsibility for urself, raising kids takes a village's help, Jeff was the Patriarch of his family, he always spoke sarcastically but candidly, I'll miss his intense presence, behind that rough exterior he was optimistically pragmatic and pleasant, always busy quietly doing stuff, even in crisis he was cool calm collected yet tough, he loved taking care of the pool, and having a huge trampoline was the crown jewel, playing home run derby capture the flag hide and go seek basketball and volleyball too, looking back lately I've been such a spoiled fool/tool, having grown up on a dead end street, gives me a ridiculously lucky history that can't be beat, with so many kids around the same age, those weren't just the good but the great ole days, what happened to them, for the next generations' sake I hope we get them again, I think Jeff would want it that way, for his friends and family I pray, respectfully cherish and mourn, try to stay strong, tho I know he's gone, he continues to live on, thru sharing our stories of him, right now I'm picturing Jeff cracking a joke and that grin, still can't believe I'm saying R.I.P., way more than just a neighbor or friend u were like a second father to me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/9/18 


Thursday, March 8, 2018

Way Gay Certified & Nerdified Rap God

Could God stop his silent treatment and just tell me what to do, why so much atrocity pain and suffering we all go thru, maybe instead of resting on the 7th day he should've spent that on compassion, if he exists when will he take some action, seems evil has conquered good, and just when u think we're out of the woods, something else bad happens, do u think the Lord's looking down on us laughing, enjoying watching us squirm, repeat history cyclically cuz we never learn, does He really expect us to pray and pay homage, I swear Earth is a prison and bodies are our soul's bondage, we're simply trapped, "footprints in the sand" implies He's got our back, we're supposed to believe in faith, how is our destiny truly made, free will or divine intervention, heaven hell purgatory or reincarnation weren't mentioned, what's after death, bright white lights angels loved ones or a deep dark quiet black nothingness, there's exponential answers aloof to humanity, why is rap all about misogyny ghetto gangster mentality and profanity, can't artists mature grow elevate evolve and get wise, stop with the gimmicky tricky lies and image/reputation compromise, be yourself, knowing ur strong suit skills and what u want helps, dreams can turn to reality, if u don't let hope tragically      become a casualty, let ur passions thrive, living isn't just being alive, take chances and risks, gotta get ur head out of the sand mind out the gutter and ur feelings out the abyss, quit it with the shameful embarrassed repression, getting a job can lift u out that depression, so ur not bored all the damn time, I don't agree with the saying it pays to be kind, actually assholes make more, like drug dealers and whores, when looking in the mirror what do u see, a reflection of someone ur proud to be, totally independent and free, unconsumed by fame and greed, or is ur smile not as genuine as it may seem, I'm too competitively stubborn to accept defeat, unfortunately failure is common, could u survive on pb&j sandwiches mac and cheese beer and ramen, take a trip down memory lane at college, what's more important street smarts or book knowledge, can we have it all, am I glutton for punishment getting up again and again after I fall, a masochist who self sabotages, I give fab massages, altho I never got licensed or certified, when did cool become gay or nerdified, I have trouble with the idea that every day is blessing, even religious extremists are messing I'm guessing, if they say their perfect, do ya'll think the elderly handicapped or poor are worth it, how bout we're all equal, do u too get annoyed by sheeple, where are the revolutionary leaders, or the sooth sayers fortune tellers and seers, can they exist, the universe took a huge shift, but in the opposite wrong direction, perhaps we're a cancerous infection, destroying everything in our path, it sucks to be a lovey dovey romantic chivalrous nice guy who always finishes last!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/8/18

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Forever Ever & Always Bubba

I know we fight an awful lot
But I give u all the light I've got
When ur lost in the dark
Follow the beating of  my bleeding heart
We're connected at the soul
Without u there's a huge hole
And I feel so incomplete
Losing u means I must accept defeat
My life ain't the same unless ur in it
Our relationship status is no one else's business
Please let's just forgive each other
Go back to when we were unconditional lovers
I need u in my life
To help deaql with the endless pain and strife
I trust u completely
Let's share the responsibility equally
Neither one of us are perfect
However we are absolutely both worth it
Maybe on day our situation will change
But I will still love u bubba forever ever and always


Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/6/18

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Even A Putz Of A Dunce Lives Once

Some months and years are better than others, apparently I talk in my sleep snore hogging all the pillows and covers, I don't like to annoyingly nag judgmentally criticized or motherly hover, I shudder at the thought of winding up poor in the gutter, I've got too much talent drive and ambition, but how do I make the transition, from average Joe Shmo to successful hip hop superstar, not interested in big houses bling bling or fancy stupid cars, but because my kinky fetishes are kept quietly clandestine, I gotta ask ya'll this one mildly deep wicked personal damn question, what makes u horny enough to get off, more than half ya'll jaws would drop ud be offended or shockingly cough, that's if u didn't simply walk away or punch my lights out, some people's natural defense mechanism is to run their mouths while others bout, personally I never thought war or violence solved any issue, I'd rather smoke a blunt instead then hug and kiss u, continue to spread Truth, Love & Consciousness, what is with all this cognitive obnoxiousness, constant hating and discriminating, embarrassment/shaming from failing needs eliminating, get off ur moral high horses faking happy all smug, why's a rapper gotta be a gangster or a trailer park uneducated thug, pushing misogyny vulgarities and drugs, I'm from middle class america a college educated masculine gay white guy and it sucks, no one gives me a chance opportunity nor respect, music fans are fickle and quickly forget, how much hard work dedication and money it takes, thinking my career was handed to me on a silver platter/gold plate, so much assumption, balls guts gall and gumption, believing what u read makes u an expert that knows me, sit back relax and let ur mind go free, follow my lyrical lead, listen to and be moved by my soul food please, I leave my heart blood sweat and tears on that stage, being caged makes us enraged, decrease in value as we age, I won't calm down counting to 10 breathing sniffing sage, when will society be paid a livable wage, we're basically robotic slaves, doing repetitive monotonous shit for countless days, I understand no one said life was fair, but I dare u to care, we're all here and have fear, no one's invincibly spared, why only appreciate me and my art after I die, do u believe in celebrities being Illuminati or double o spies, I fight for what's right, letting my love and light shine bright, helping the forgotten see thru the darkness, giving up wealth along with its financial safety and security is the hardest, u can't take it all to the grave, sometimes I find u should be brave and misbehave, break laws and rules, after all existence religious history could be a ruse, don't manifest destiny that we're screwed, even tho we've been persecuted and abuse, good will triumph over evil, stop being ignorant feeble sheeple, stand up and achieve, ur hopes wishes and dreams, it may be improbable but nothing is impossible, unyielding strength and faith is what makes heroes unstoppable, never give up, cuz u can change ur luck, just gotta risk and take a chance, enjoy every moment rejoice smile celebrate sing and dance, we only live once, so try not to regretfully sit on the sidelines u putz of a dunce!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/1/18   

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Pragmatic Realist Vs. The Evilest Elitist

When it comes to work I'm either floored, or straight up bored, no real in between, why are bosses so mean, do we really need a job at all, the rise of robots will be humanity's fall, is it just paranoid intuition, Terminator 2 will come to fruition, will technology turn against us, can one be built that actually loves, AI is fascinatingly scary, ya'll say ur listening but do u hear me, look at the warning signs, I feel like we're mourning minds, no longer taught to think, common sense seems almost extinct, business ethics has no heart, it doesn't pay to be scholastically smart, I don't find it funny, how education is more about making money, rather than preparing and training, the fair and equal distribution of wealth is waning, it's only in the hands of a few, no one person should have more than a billion dollars should be the law/rule, aren't u confused too, tired of this perpetual rude abuse, fools and tools to use, the truth is a ruse, walk a mile in my shoes, to understand how I'm screwed, being both gay and white, makes it improbable to be a successful hip hop star which ain't right, I'm willing to fight, spread positivity and light, instead of that whack rap crap shat, I have the natural ability talent and knack, for rhythm and poetry, I wonder if that acronym was created knowingly, or if it's a simple coincidence, stop persecuting minorities that are innocents, we're all born with original sin, the game of life shouldn't be conditional to win, happiness comes with fulfillment, kicking the can down the line is crippling our children, they're consumed by insurmountable debt, taxes in my opinion are legalized theft, our government's inept, my poor boyfriend hasn't slept, why doesn't anyone give a damn, about the fact that insurance is a scam, digital is killing music, online sites and apps have ruined cupid, the internet's become a dumb numb catalog of fakeness and illusion, how has this administration not been found guilty of collusion, enough is enough, if we don't change we're fucked, running out of luck, most of us are stuck, in the same place we started, perhaps God is retarded, uncompassionate without empathy, most don't contemplate the deep things like purpose nor legacy, I've been given this self motivational drive, to not just simply be alive but to thrive, constantly wearing a smile, it's hard to ignore the hateful bile, or the venom spewed, I think it's time for corporations to lose, I want socialism, Earth is a total prison, or maybe just our bodies are, imagine a world with only public transit no cars, perhaps we're too spoiled, this industrial revolutionary machine isn't well oiled, it's outdated and obsolete, don't pander to a cowards need, let's go back to the days presidents were the generals leading the battles in wars, politicians are lying cheating whores, can't we learn from history instead of repeating it cyclically, my perception's jaded cynically, from consistent failure, I can't put my hope and faith into a second coming of Jesus our savior, I don't believe in exaggerated tall tales, any and all happily-ever-after fables, cuz I'm a pragmatic realist, elitists are the evilest, I'd rather live humble and modest to be honest, watch out Trump's a very good con artist, paving the road to destruction, like a wall's gonna do something, I can't believe this is happening, this is not a joke nobody should be laughing, ya'll should be scared, crying tears of fear, the beginning of the end is near, if it's not already here.

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/27/18

Friday, February 23, 2018

The Future's Balance Hangs On Change

How do I get the public's attention, is there something I'm failing to mention, give me a topic to talk about, otherwise I don't know how, I can manage to get my numbers up, I try to spread truth consciousness and love, why not have a successful gay white rapper singer songwriter, I'm also and lgbtq activist and an equality fighter, trying to be a revolutionary leader, totally original not a copycat artist gimmicky lip-syncy lyrical stealer, some people have proclaimed me a poetic genius/word nerd, a lack of sales and applause hurts worse, then just saying u simply don't like rap, but have a listen first at least cuz I don't like whack crap, I've got a real knack and actual talent, I'm a genuine gentleman/nice polite scholar that's valiant, kind courteous moral compassionate and empathetic, I hate uncompetitive rhetoric, what's the moral or message to ur song, I want my music to be timelessly classic and emotionally strong, debatable and relatable, I'm relocatable elastic and amiable, breaking boundaries down, prophetically sarcastic sassy witty and profound, uncensored unedited unfiltered and loud, a masculine homo bro not so average Joe unafraid to be brave and bout, I stand up for what's right, I try to shine my light bright, so the whole world can see, let it help guide ya'll to me, even the rejected wallflowers and the ostracized outcasts, I'm building a virtuous righteous legacy that somehow sustains and lasts, it's not about my sexuality or color of my skin, let's all treat each other like mothers fathers sisters and brothers or kin, teach the next generation, to defeat hatred and discrimination, make sure they learn history, the truth shouldn't be an unsolvable mystery, speak ur heart ur soul and ur mind, explore different destinations and cultures to see what u find, fuck social media and photographs, stop hiding behind screens and those masks, be proud of who u are, don't get consumed by money having big houses and a fancy car, there's way more to life than material possessions, let fulfillment and true happiness be ur obsessions, quit the drugs and violence, don't be complicit with ur silence, go after the dreams u believe in, if u put ur mind to it and try u can achieve em, have hope and faith, manage being extremely aggressive or too passive u over wait, health is about diet and exercise, is it better to be scholastically or street wise, why not both, our character is dependent upon how we adapt and cope, u shouldn't make decisions based on fear, imagine if I could share a real live care bear stare, shooting rays of love from my belly to defeat evil, sheeple are feeble, at some point u have to determine and decide a side, stick to ur guns and enjoy the ride, I'm not talking about ammunitioned arms, live by the golden rule and do no harm, I may be dropping bombs, heed my warnings I'm sounding the alarms, we need to awaken and change, retract our animalistic claws and fangs, having the power is overwhelming and strange, but it's time to rely on individual action cuz that's where the future's balance hangs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/23/18

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Are We Naive Or Plain Stupid

Ya'll need professional help, if u think we're victimizing ourselves, just to throw our gay agenda in ur face, intolerant religious extremists are a fucking disgrace, it's not even a lil political, actually ur hypocritical, which conservatives say liberals are, ur whole mentality is a farce, incomprehensible and illogical, do u really think Trump is the ideal role model, America is not a business, is anyone else asking what is this, how did we get this far gone, democracy isn't something I'm ready to mourn, I still have hope and faith, that somehow someway things will change, go back to normal, instead of divisiveness we'll be polite and cordial, learn to agree to disagree, go back to being the land of the free, and not just speech, but with the opportunity to strive and reach, dreams can become a reality, as long as belief doesn't become a casualty, the only person u have to prove anything to is u, it isn't what u say but if ur brave enough to do, otherwise ull be filled with regret, always try to give ur best, that's how u measure success, don't hide behind sarcasm and jest, it's not an excuse to be lazy nor complacent, if u wait til ur old and ancient, u might not have the energy or strength, to go the distance or length, and achieve those goals, do u feel fulfilled deep within ur soul, happiness can be found, even after uve failed or fallen down, in fact it's more profound, fuck the amount in ur bank account, it isn't indicative of the true value or worth of life, there's no competition or prize for who has overcome the most pain plight and strife, we all go thru shit, whatever higher power exists seems sadistically abusive, but we must also take responsibility too, for acting a silly fool, mistakes and accidents happen, I don't thing God's looking down laughing, still I can't help but wonder why, the level of awful atrocity and tragedy can't subside, perhaps maybe humanity, is synonymous with insanity/calamity, we never seem to learn, the truth is often hard to discern, even tho history repeats, will capitalism ever meet defeat, no one person should have more than a billion dollars, what happened to revolutionary artists and scholars, our government's been corrupted, like a volcano evil has erupted, guess good finally lost, apparently was bought but at what cost, we sold our hearts, and become numb slave-like robots, hard work no longer pays, are we approaching the end of days, why don't we heed the warning, of man made problems like debt and global warming, are we that naive or plain stupid, homos haven't destroyed the sanctity of marriage or killed cupid, shouldn't we all have the natural right to love, when is enough enough, please before it's too late, we need to make our fate great, the power is within us, we just must find the courage and guts, what sort of legacy do ya'll want to leave, are we that gullibly easy to deceive, looking back on the past what do u see, do one small deed and plant a seed, nourish it and watch it grow, after all we really ought to know, as the infamous saying goes, we only reap what we sow!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/22/18

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Growing Pains As We Fall From Grace

I literally fell down the stairs, and both my folks were concerned and scared, even tho I'm only 35, there's no age u can't die, it may seem like I'm over exaggerating the circumstances, but it will be a while before this body works out stretches or dances, I laid flat on my back, hours on a heating pad, thank god for Aleve, making it possible for me to get a good night sleep, what sucks is I was just getting over the flu, seems no matter what I do I'm screwed, this was such a stupid incident, it was really silly and innocent, was simply going to get myself a drink, it's not like I was on an ice rink, perhaps socks on carpet weren't a good idea, now I'm consumed by paranoia and fear, every time now, I wonder how, I could've been so foolish, ignorant and toolish, believing I was invincible, do u ever wish u were invisible, totally immune to damages, never needing bandages, cuz u can't be scraped or scarred, this administration needs to be impeached and disbarred, so much corruption, the balls and gumption, is actually quite astonishingly shocking, SNL is having a field day knocking and mocking, it's a comedian's wet dream, what would be ur ultimate best team, Olivia vs. Annalise, who's the bigger beast, both are brilliant powerful women, maybe they can fix what men didn't, like society and fairness, when did government become fiscally careless, not to mention our elections, our democracy used to have check and balance protections, but they're being slowly eroded, seems like rational progressive common sensed thinking people have folded, America's thrown out all logic and reason, we may never know if there's real collusion or treason, seems the dark ages are cyclically circling around again, there's division even among family and friends, we're officially a mess, everyone's overworked frustrated and stressed, nobody can get ahead, baby boomers are more valuable dead, and poor gen x, won't have much more success, while the millennials will be stuck in outrageous debt, what if the expression was u give what u get, instead of the reverse, maybe humanity is cursed, I know we're born with original sin, but when does the 99% get a chance to win, we've been shitted on, outwitted and conned, trying to do what's right, what if all minorities were to unite and fight, perhaps then good would reconquer evil, the world is over populated with too many sheeple, where are all the revolutionary leaders, inspirational/motivational speakers, like MLK Tupac or Harvey Milk, progress isn't smooth like butter or silk, it's bumpy and bloody, the future is neither funny or sunny, maybe these are just growing pains, as we fall from grace, while we become robotic slaves, I think things will get much much worse before we collectively awake and change!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
2/21/18