Wednesday, January 24, 2018

True Love's Metaphorical Cliff

Our timing is simply bad, we can't seem to recapture what we had, perhaps we're not as compatible as we thought, I'm resentful of all that I've done and bought, my mental health isn't good, we're miscommunicating so neither of us are understood, I don't wanna constantly bicker and fight, every day I'm worried and concerned if ur alright, it's all a bit too much, u lack faith in me and trust, u think I spew insults and lies, yet u never compliment only criticize, we've both made mistakes, maybe we need to take a break, forgive each other's pasts, focus on personal responsibility and facts, not jealous false assumption, reserve the nerve guts balls or gumption, to judge chastise or shame me, we aren't George W and Cheney, I ain't no fucking puppet ur holding the strings to, what fulfillment or happiness does silence or space bring u, all u do is walk away, ur always tired grumpy and in pain, we're both afraid ull meet an early grave, I don't know what to do or say, give me some clue on how to cope, should we elope, what if we can't change and grow together, perhaps there isn't a possibility of forever, like time or the horizon line they're mind and eye/optical illusions, relationships are hard work and confusing, we are definitely soulmates, what difference distance's toll takes, plus we both live at our parent's homes, one thing in common tho is no combs, since we're both bald, I'm still reeling from feeling emotionally mauled, his folks are anti-gay, so the only free safe space is my place, this breakup is ruthless, over something insignificant and stupid, but was built on pent up neglect left unsaid, our 8 months weren't a waste or looked upon as a regret, we gave it our all and best, but individually we're both a mess, maybe a moment apart, will allow healing to happen within our hearts, so we can forgive one another and begin again, create a fundamental foundation as unconditional friends, with lots of love at the core, partnerships shouldn't be a dreaded chore, I do enjoy being down on all fours, to please and satisfy u more, but like BB says "the thrill is gone", I can't stand being wrong, pursuing music or a social life, it's not a competition of who goes thru the most strife, the journey is a seesaw signifying hills valleys and peaks, I miss how ur pits farts socks sneaks and feet reek making me weak, from sheer masculinity mixed with alpha dom top pheromones, my pleasure can easily be measured from moans, sorry not sorry I flag right tho gray babe, it's a meditational stress relief need that I long for and crave, we can be monogamous and kinky, I'd love to be ur lil bro sub pup piggy, but only in the boudoir, I'm super proud of who u are, I wish u could say the same, u falsely assume I'm a lying sex crazy spoiled selfish prostituting cheater arrogantly after only fortune and fame, ignoring the fact that I've compromised and sacrificed all of me already, congratulations on manifest destinying our downfall to demise cuz now we're truly "unsteady", I'm extremely depleted and got nothing left to give, we were each other's motivating reason meaning and inspirational gift, to keep believing seeping in and dreaming reaping the benefits of our teaming seeming to help uplift us and better live, I wonder if he'd hold my hand to take the jump or leap off of true love's metaphorical cliff?! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious

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