Friday, January 26, 2018

How Do We Blend Again

I'm resentful neglected and heartbroken, it doesn't excuse the awful angry hurtful words I've spoken, but it explains why my anxiety has been thru the roof, neither of us are prepared or sustainable enough to move, us living apart, makes this relationship hard, we both live with our folks, wish ur health issues were a misdiagnosed hoax, maybe then ud feel better, and we would enjoy more of our time together, I miss the old Kevin, who seemed to be my soulmate sent from heaven, being unemployed so long has pushed u down into a deep dark depression, and it's impossible to see life's blessings I'm guessing, don't live like ur dying, I'm sick and tired of bitching complaining and crying, I will not be defeated, whatever obstacle arises we'll beat it, I got ur back but u gotta have mine, if something's bothering u don't just reply ur fine, say shit, cuz I hate it, when ur in silent quiet mode, the pent up aggression and repression grows, til u eventually explode, and the venom flows, like acid, stop acting ratchet, reverting to insults and name calling, manipulating using fear and shame's appalling, how bout the truth, figure out what it is u want and to do, so I don't replay the fool, I'm not a tool, for u to step on punch or use, please no more verbal spiritual emotional or physical abuse, we need to learn to communicate with each other, act like mature lovers, we're two individuals trying to blend, we all fuck up and make mistakes every now and again, humans are fallibly imperfect, I often wonder if marriage is worth it, to me it seems like a business arrangement, but then I hear about another engagement, and I think to myself, having a partner would help, two incomes are better than one, they're always there to share in the fun, a solid support system, someone who cares and listens, has drive motivation and vision, monogamy shouldn't feel like prison, it should elevate and lift us both up, there's no greater gift then love, and money can't buy it, are those butterflies in my stomach or a riot, perhaps he's my addiction, but what's with all the bickering fighting and friction, let's play nice, twice or even thrice in one night, altho u like sex more in the morning, I should come with a warning, I need my sleep and coffee, sorry not sorry I'm using the sleepsack I bought me, don't care if it brings back bad memories, why are my past hookups automatically ur enemies, can't u show a modicum of respect, I'm not saying to be politically correct, please let's just be civil, sometimes I take sarcasm personal or too literal, I know u like to joke, hope it's as much tho as u love reading the poems I wrote!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious

No comments:

Post a Comment