Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Love & Care For Each Other But Not Friends Or Lovers

Back to insults and threats, he deserves everything he gets, and I don't feel bad at all, I was there for countless falls, but it was never enough, guess financial support isn't an expression of love, or driving u around for free, what was the last nice thing uve said or done for me, I'm sick of having to defend myself, u need professional help, u have no idea what the word partner means, belittling my fantasies ambition passion and dreams, is straight up selfish, the last 9 months were hellish, u have no idea what I've sacrificed and compromised, I'm tired of ur false accusations of cheating and lies, broken promises happen, but not following thru is ur talent, as well as manipulating the situation and misrecollecting true events, u see when making good arguments there's this thing called evidence, and it's based on actual facts, we're supposed to have each other's backs, but u can't save me from life, nor atrocity pain plight or strife, no one learns from other people's lessons, instead of complaining so much count ur blessings, I've been more than patient and kind, all this silent quiet waiting is driving me out of my mind, u don't deal with problems by walking away, or sweeping them up under the rug I'm afraid, u gotta want to be the change, maybe the hostility and resentment fades or wanes, perhaps time can heal and mend, we're always misunderstanding what the other meant, that's why texting isn't effective, a marriage is like a college sex isn't just a simple elective, it's a necessity/need, to earn and receive a degree, neither of us can afford our own place, we're letting what was once love turn to hate, but I'm done being taken for granted and neglected, I wanna feel wanted liked lusted safe and protected, stop with the judgments and shame, playing my heart like a game, I believed we were connected by our souls, seems we're both haunted by our pasts' ghosts, neither of us can let go, accept we have no control, and move on peacefully, I feel like I lost of piece of me, perhaps it's cuz he was my first, I think that's what makes the hurt worse, I still wish him well and good luck, but we can't be together with no trust, we can still love and care for each other, guess we unfortunately can't be best friends tho or monogamous lovers!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious

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