Forgive & Let Live

I know he made me happy cuz now I'm not, maybe he does still love me just forgot, but there was never trust on his part, dealing with double standard hypocrisy was too hard, think it's finally time to move again, make new friends, get away from this place, feel like a failure and a disgrace, I let myself down the most, I wonder if I'll miss him like the west coast, but I wanna go somewhere different I've never lived, I know I won't get the satisfaction of being forgived, which isn't a word, I know how absurd, a rapper making up lingo, wish we had a chance to go together to musical bingo, for shizzle my nizzle, but our relationship has more than simply fizzled, but there will always be love there, we got consumed by insecurities and fear, I'm done tho playing the blame game, gotta focus on fame, being an indy artist, stay humble grounded and modest, cuz nobody likes conceited or cocky, I wanna win a Grammy and nothing or nobody can stop me, I'm determined and driven, working isn't living, it's supposed to improve quality, in all honesty, I think evil has taken over, sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, I wanna make my parents proud, perhaps I share too much too loud, like an open book, I prefer not to cook, that doesn't mean I can't, I want a man who understands, that I am who I am, I like to try to make plans, but with so many fakes and flakes, flying solo seems to be my fate, and I'm ok with that, love isn't something I lack, I'm lucky and blessed, I don't believe in perfection or that I'm the best, always bettering myself, unafraid to admit I need help, at the end of the day we're all just people, do not succumb to the powers of evil, stay true to who u are, always follow ur gut and heart, please don't sell ur soul either, I tend to be more spiritual than a Jesus believer, altho I grew up Catholic, I wanna be a superstar not an asterisk, but only ya'll can help make that happen, instead of condescendingly laughing, take a listen to my songs, especially after ripping the bong, and if it's not ur cup of tea, that's totally fine with me, but if u do than tell a fellow hip hop fan, seems good smart lyrical content isn't in demand, like Meghan sings "it's all about that bass", why's rap music anti white and gays, like either of those are disqualifying traits, finding success is a maze, that basically just leads to dead ends, I've thought about officiating weddings, or doing massage therapy professionally, I tried adult day care but I wasn't prepared mentally, now instead of paralegal I'm a fiscal clerk, who knows what future careers lurk, wish my art would pay the bills, still have to make a will, just in case, of the Rapture/End Of Days, hope we can change our course to a forward direction, make sure if ur unhappy with our president u go out in vote in elections!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/27/18