Thursday, April 26, 2018

From Inspirational Muse To A Brown Noun

There's nothing better than an artist scorned, my desire to write and create has been reborn, instead of letting love turn to hate, I'll put all that wasted emotion into the music I make, it'll take time to heal, nobody can make u do or feel, it is always ur choice, my mind is consumed with so much noise, societal expectation and criticism, I swear most people are only pretending to listen, only caring about themselves, unempathetic and unwilling to help, unless of course it benefits them in some way, sick of this mentality u gotta pay to play, life is funny, fuck love just give me the money, it's the only thing that really matters, if u wanna be popular abstain from getting fatter, we're super superficial, self righteous and hypocritical, judgmental sinners, criminals are the winners, don't u know the nice finish last, time is too precious and flies by fast, so seize the moment, keep moving forward learning and growing, we're all works in progress, stop with the macho dick swinging contest, ya'll trying too hard, play the hand dealt in cards, quit comparing with envy, watch out for back stabbing from jealousy, they'll build u up just to tear u down, my ex is definitely a brown noun, I have hope tho again, finally reconnecting with real friends, he made my world small, taught me to build barriers and walls, especially around my heart, actually he wasn't very smart, cuz nobody survives alone, gotta let the bad past go, otherwise it'll destroy future opportunity, I wanna contribute to the rise of our community, prove that sexual preference can't supersede talent, I try to stay cordial respectful and valiant, but when I repeatedly take the blame, I started to realize u were playing me like a game, a perpetrator can never be the victim, perhaps I should've just let u go to prison, instead I enabled u, made a fool, gullible ignorant and naive, I don't need to grieve, cuz I understand I was used, that's just what drug addicts and users do, I don't think he truly ever even love me, and now I'm free, single and ready to mingle, while the people who care about him dwindle, sometimes it's a curse to see the best in others, there's a huge difference between codependent necessity and unconditional partnered lovers, I'm still waiting for the latter, u assume I got my parent's silver platter, there's nothing further from the truth, yes I may live under their roof, and I am very blessed, but I'm humble enough to know I'm no better than the rest, I'm not cocky or conceited, I was the only one to be there whenever u needed, cuz u were ungrateful, kept falsely accusing me of being unfaithful, delusional with double standards, that would make it easier for u if I was a philanderer, but I'm not, give it all u got, u won't ruin my reputation, go see a psychiatrist or get an education, and quit ur pity party bitching, pretty soon ull be missing my kissing, but I'll be like Kelly sings "already gone", ull no longer be my muse or inspiration for poems or songs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
4/26/18   

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