Wednesday, June 13, 2018

May Not Recover From My Former Lover

Hurt people hurt people, funny how according to him I'm crazy toxic and evil, but usually the abused abuse, he's neglectfully forgotten or plain deluded and confused, it's the other way around, the regret is profound, I honestly wish we never met, I'm better off pretending he's dead, after all he ghosted me months ago, claimed I cheated was a barfly and an attention seeking hoe, I may have insulted him superficially but he's constantly attacked my character, when I think about his lack of responsibility I'm consumed by laughter, the truth always comes out, his insecurities and fears caused every single bout, I do wish him well I'm just angry, I hate that I still love him strangely, hope he's alright, but I just wanna yell and scream and fight, anything for him to wake the fuck up and get a clue, he would always say to me it's not what u say but what u do, I've done a ton how about u, feel like a fool cuz I fell for his ruse, a manipulative addict, would push and push and push and push til I finally had it, and lost my shit, he made me mentally unfit, he avoided problems, walking away was his how he coped and solved em, he would remain silent, making me infuriated and violent, altho I'd never hurt a fly, I'm a stoner who's usually high, so that's not my nature, sorry not sorry Kevin but now I hate ya, and that's sad to say, I can admit I got played, u used me dry, can't count the tears I've cried, but I am learning to let go, to all those saying we'll get back together HELL NO, I won't go backwards in life, made that mistake twice, what can I say other than I'm wicked stubborn, please don't believe the lies he's uttering, or actually go ahead, he made his bed, now he can lay in it, the version of me at the end wasn't my favorite, I chose to show my ugly side, he knew full well I'm an Italian Gemini, yet it didn't stop him from trying to change me, I'm very much enjoying being single lately, I think about him all the time, as I'm sure ya'll can tell from my rhymes, spewing venom out of spite, even tho I know it aint right, or a depiction of who I really am, I'm dealing with this the best way I can, not good at all, why couldn't he pick up the phone and call, maybe even apologized, he never budged or compromised, how did I become the villain, he was the one who was helpless and unwilling, I did so much, but I think it was out of just lust, he was hot and sexy as hell, unfortunately we didn't seem to mesh or gel, it's still quite a damn shame, someone I called my soulmate caused so much lasting damage and pain, I seriously might not recover, wow I never thought I would despise my former lover!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
6/13/18

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