Been off my meds for a few weeks, I'm anxious to be able to stand on my own 2 feet, which depends on whether I get this perm job or not, I've given it all I've got, been here almost 2 years, but in the business world no one cares, it's just about money, tho I don't sleep on the streets or go hungry, I'm what's called the working poor, I find monotonous repetitious routine a robotic slave-like bore, are we collectively greedy at our core, nothing in existence is sure, in the next second I could be gone, where did I go wrong, too many blunts and bongs, overshared in my crappy songs, why do I always feel unfulfilled and a failure, what if I'm another JC the savior, like Nas one of god's sons, I refuse to fight with fists bomb knives or guns, just use words, which can hurt worse, I miss my ex, we were both a mess, neither of us had our shit together, being single I can handle my wits better, I don't like being controlled or owned, when I think back on all I did for u and the hundreds loaned, I should've known then, he'd take every last cent, that's why I wouldn't marry him without a prenup, he can suck on these nuts, if anybody believes they're entitled to my earnings, I'm a gay guy with urges and yearnings, but I have will power and aplomb, Gemini's find moderation doom, we live and find comfort in extremes, nobody at first is what they seem, ur meeting their representative, I can be very passionately argumentative, commonly with Libras, hope ya'll smoke cheeba, cuz the whole globe needs to chill the fuck out, don't divide discriminate hate or bout, can't we all just get along, I'm that judge who'll bang the gong, sending u home a loser, beggars can't be choosers, yet they try, everyone wants a free lunch or ride, imagine ur born rich, or sucking Thor's dick, could u keep it a secret, everybody has potential tho only a random few ever reach it, perhaps we are spoiled and lazy, I bet those royals are crazy, they've got skeletons in their closet too, they're far from humble modest fools, u don't rule without blood on ur hands, how the hell do famous rappers develop die hard fans, I'm envious and jealous, this rat race of a game is hellish, wonder if Trump is the devil in disguise, he's skewed the truth it's the news media that lies, that doesn't even make sense, but I still rather him over Mike Pence, either way we're totally screwed, we'll probably wind up like Holocaust Jews, which concentration camp are u from, unfortunately with Big Brother there ain't no place to hide or run!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/13/18
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