After my last relationship ended I gave up on marriage, it's as outdated as coal cds and the horse and carriage, maybe I'm jaded being gay, I can't pray my kinks away, so I remain a freak, perhaps hell is life on repeat, nothing but pain and tragedy, wish success came naturally miraculously or magically, cuz no matter how hard I work, along comes another moocher/jerk, who takes and takes but never gives, I'm not the best at free-styling adlibs, I'm a writer, a lgbtq activist and social justice fighter, but I've lost the will to hope, my faith too is very low, seems evil has finally gained the upper hand, a lack of empathy and common sense is hard to understand, how have we gotten this far gone, where did it all go wrong, we were progressing, now we're second guessing, our morals and ethics thrown out the window, I feel like a widow, tho my love is alive, I can't help wonder if it was just a lie, I was simply used, now I'm left super bitter resentful and confused, he plays the victim of abuse, but it's a delusional pathological ruse, I wish him the best, but I want him hexed, even the good hearted can be consumed by revenge, 2 important words are intent and consent, they signify murder and rape, sometimes I think I wanna rap in a fidora with a cane and cape, like a hip hop superhero, on a scale of 1-10 he was a stupid 0, pretty much a waste of time, I wish I didn't have to fake smile and say I'm fine, when the truth is I'm destroyed, so sick of being temporarily employed, altho I like this new job, I was totally robbed, by my old boss's fraudulent claim, my future opportunity was maimed, yet I still have to pick up the pieces and be brave, can't give in or up nor cave, this is my chance to start over again, move somewhere else and make new friends, I'm so unhappy unfulfilled and bored here all I do is get bent, I swear my family is heaven sent, I'm very lucky, thanks for the compliment of wanting to fuck me, random hookups just aren't my style, I'm always willing to go that extra mile, but I'm tired of no reciprocity, it deeply effects and bothers me, a partnership is not a one way street, I find it nearly impossible to admit defeat, sensitivity doesn't make men weak, it's ok if ur a geek, u gotta own it, I will no longer loan shit, without it being in writing, our consciousness needs igniting, are u woke, do u vote, we all must do our part, to revitalize our legacy our soul and our heart, get back some of the integrity we lost, compromise is inevitable but at what cost, we have got to learn to work together, team work is the only way to make things better, since we are at such a pivotal point, now is not the time to ignore or drink away problems and smoke a joint, get off those unnecessary opioids, stop benching and ghosting to avoid, this is reality minus the virtual, the younger generations believe the perfect match is searchable, as if the internet is a modern day online catalog of available people, being behind a screen can give some the anonymous power of evil, creating fake profiles and trolling, statistics are as about an exact science as polling, nothing in existence is guaranteed, screw other people's judgmental opinions the most important thing is what u believe!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/12/18
No comments:
Post a Comment