Keep Holding On Strong

Adam was absolutely like my brother, just from another mother, losing him 3 days after my sister, wish heaven only had visitors, earth is getting lonely, I'm my one and only, but I constantly think of all of them, and can't wait to be together again, whether family or not I grieve the same, it can be quite difficult to stay sane, with so much concentrated loss, appear to be handling it like a boss, but deep down inside, anger insecurity and resentment resides, since I am actually human, the point to life can be so confusing, seems like endless relentless suffering, and the level of escapism is troubling, shouldn't try to avoid the pain, it doesn't go away but it will eventually wane, it's important to remember we gotta be strong, and no matter what keep holding on!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/31/24

I Decide

Need relief from grief, finally leave it all behind me, focusing way too much on the past, and life flies by so fast to do that, caught up in self reflection, gotta get better with my protection, hold onto precious energy, stop worrying about my legacy, still very young, should lighten up and have more fun, belly laugh and a half, good company is where it's at, forget the journey's important not the destination, can't attack with hesitation, move in silence, enough with violence, and harsh rhetoric, I know I'm a revolutionary heretic, embracing the power of time, maybe meditate and clear my mind, about to go on a getaway, take a break, trying to escape the noise, relocate my own voice, make the right choice for me myself and I, why not live the way I ultimately decide?!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/30/24

Misdirection Projection

Apparently I'm distracting myself with peeps, to avoid dealing with the realities of my extreme grief, I wanna move forward not back, my words often come across as attack, when it's just my internal struggle, my passion can get me into trouble, it's unfiltered and relentless, like focusing on foreign instead of domestic, perhaps it's easier to fix, somebody else's shit, and of course don't forget projection, as well as misdirection, like Taylor "I'm the problem it's me", undoubtedly, but that doesn't excuse u, after all isn't it takes two true, one to give another to take, wish my timing allowed company while I have to not so patiently wait, always riding solo, tired of being told I'm half of a whole and u know yolo!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/29/24

The Sim Him

Enamored by the idea of him, but most I know is just a sim, I don't want to change his mind, wish he'd spend some time, I understand maybe he can't, it's hard to accept a helping hand, we all get busy, still wonder if he even thinks of me, do I inspire a smile or boner, gotten so used to being a loner, I forgot how to let love in, missing a hole for cumming, warm cuddles and hugs, feeling enough, which is silly, since happiness is only my own responsibility, not his, it isn't a diss, choosing someone else, haven't found many who make my heart melt, and that's ok, so hold hope and faith maybe someday, I'll find my guy, learning to take all these near misses in stride!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/28/24

Still Some Stranger Danger

Wish he wasn't such a stranger, can't help but wonder if I'm in danger, kind of addicted, perhaps simply interested, in someone who doesn't reciprocate my feelings, why won't he share his reasoning, maybe I could adjust, or does that make me a schmuck, fuck people pleasing, he's repeatedly teasing, all in good fun, I don't even believe in the one, caught up in protecting, this overwhelming depression from rejection, I wanna be intentional, but not vengeful, cuz I'm hurt, healing takes work, and I'm always willing, sorry not sorry but I'm looking for something deeply fulfilling!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Love's Root/Living Proof Of Truth

Can't write him away, don't take literally what I poetically say, it's feelings in a moment, I'll take accountability and own it, but I'm allowed to evolve and change, despite being hypocritically strange maybe even deranged, cuz I can see my flaws, my words aren't claws, I'm being hard on myself not u, art is a therapeutic tool, helping to analyze my thoughts, but at what cost, if I'm so scary, a hairy fairy, just confusing, when it comes to relationships I'm losing, before any have begun, I'm growing cold closed off and become numb, it hurts whether u want it to or not, sometimes I think most men aren't smart lacking both empathy and heart, unable to differentiate opinion from truth, please let me be love's root/living proof!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Gray Vibez On My Mind

Busy with ur gray vibez, and I just can't get u out of my mind, ur trouble, I want in ur bubble, like Sam says "take ur time", know alone tho I'll be fine, I still want u, it's daunting too, how I'm no closer, to being a ghoster, when I'm not dead yet, am I not a good bet, is there something wrong with me, wanting to sing a song or three, while he paints, I've got such angst, another alpha stepford, not willing to make any effort, what the actual fuck, I really need some better luck, but no reason to stay means go, once I sell my childhood home I'll roam, no doubt trying to forget u, I feel I was too intense of an overzealous fool, constantly wondering what would've should've could've been, and definitely never meant to offend, I don't want either of us to lose, simply wish I was the one ud choose!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

My Forgiveness Is Limitless

Chances aren't endless but forgiveness is limitless, I hate virtual reality's gimmickness, it's so fucking fake, and ur way too late, to make amends, perhaps u should've tried being my friend, it's just that simple, must not be malleable nor nimble, instead stuck in ur ways, I don't fit in with the gays, mostly cuz they're fucked up, especially when it comes to lust vs love, letting both pass on by, the wrong question is why, what happened is better, if u can't say how u feel write it in a letter, that works for me, admit ur a jerk at least, it's the silence that's deadly, already over the fact he ain't ready even for friendly!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Deadly Friendly

I'm always gonna be friendly, but one way streets are deadly, I give way too much, in a takers world it's tough luck, especially finding authentic love, about to give up, cuz I'm tired of being heartbroken, perhaps I'm too intensely outspoken, it's awkward and unnerving, when I communicate I'm in pain and hurting, I get ur afraid, don't mean to intimidate, I like u a lot, right from the start, u don't seem to know how, to reach out, and I can't make u either, I'll try to take a breather, out of sight and mind, never really ever seems to be a right or good time, so ur turn to lead, now we will wait and see if he finds his way back to me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/27/24

Behind Times

Gotta leave u behind, u ignored me too many times, such a shame, played me like a game, we both lose, be careful what u choose, once it's not me, I'm free, gave u 3 chances, now I'll keep u at glances, want nothing from u, especially friendship dude, ur not good enough, probably don't know love, and sadly it shows, hopefully he grows, cuz life is precious and short, shouldn't abort, but I do think ur a lil loony, missing out on this huge opportunity, I don't give myself often, since I'm next in line for the coffin, I thought it would be smart, to give my heart a shot, connecting with someone else, thought maybe I could even help, instead I found a substitute, who thinks and tells me I'm cute, plus he actually meets up, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say good luck!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/27/24

Sexy Bestys

U don't have to pursue me, but could at least be a lil bit wooey, men should learn the difference between love and sex, this is a budding bromance at best, teaching platonic intimacy, not preaching ironic idiocy, friends with benefits hasn't worked in my past, discovering who u are and what u want is life's major task, start with what u don't like and work from there, never make decisions for money or out of fear, silly me to find genuine authenticity sexy, but it's an absolute prerequisite to be a gay bi or str8 guy besty!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/23/24

Revolutionary Heart Art

Call me the poet preacher, in a way I guess I am a teacher, walk my talk, more of a penguin than a hawk, another grounded bird, no longer rooted hurts, but made me stronger now, I don't have any tricks or secrets on how, to gain resilience and power, in just a few simple steps/hours, y'all gotta get thru the work too, try not to be that dude ignorant baffoon jerk fool, Mr know it all, about to fall, yet again, no family or friends, cuz u keep choosing wrong, better pay attention to the lyrics of a song, otherwise what's the point, I find a beat without substance rather annoying, revolutionary is art, business mixed with the human heart, and like the soul lives on eternally, hopefully tho u won't pay nor be exploitedly enslaved in perpetuity!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/23/24

Jam Beyond My Life Span

Another beautiful morning, the picture of me yawning's spawning porning, and I'm totally cool with it, my bedrooms none of u fool's business, but I love a compliment, wish the US was more accepting instead of barely tolerant, let's be real, sexually unfulfilled depressed and repressed is how we feel, being nice isn't me flirting, that's alarming and alerting, reality's gone virtual, I hate it all except Wordl, that's my jam, hope to inspire smiles and orgasms for a life span, maybe even beyond, the mic is my magic wand, whether poetry or music, existence is just better with art infused in it!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/22/24

Unashaming Training

In any relationship be who u truly are, I know that can be gruesomely hard, especially if uve never known trust, safety is a must, it's a shame how many gays don't know love, family friendship or hugs, rather sad actually, battling mad tactfully, at the fact that alphas just suck, simply stuck in lust, which is stupid superficial shit, probably can't follow my quick spit with wicked rudamental wit, I'm a challenge, old school genuine gentleman classy chivalrous and valient, lifting up others, gifting both Dom or sub brothers, with sensitivity and vulnerability training, while also embracing aging and unashaming, especially when it comes to fetishes and kinks, please don't yuck yums or try to change the way one thinks!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/21/24

Love Happy Or Rhapsody

Like Pink sings "so what", I gotta go with my gut, mingle single, be a Pringle, cuz once u pop, they can't stop, but this loss, is urs, I'll just walk away, I won't stalk prey, instead will gawk unafraid, a wave to sand or chaulk stain, nothing in life is permanent, people like strife are pertinent, no man is an island, and there's no rewinding, when either of us moves on, I can't keep up the con, the truth is I'm not strong enough, if anything I'm looking for that long love, platonic or more, ironic galore, how I'm so dismissed, neglected and pissed, yet still smile bright, distilled wild light, dimmed down and stifled, profoundly bored and idled, why can't I find a guy and finally be happy, perhaps even be inspired to write my career changing rhapsody!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/21/24

Just Crush Much

It's just a crush, but I don't have them that much, usually not in a rush to gush, but the timing is pretty clutch, at least for me, not him apparently, and that's totally ok, he's not the only gay, he is pretty hot tho, I'm like stop Joe, put him out ur mind, it's simply not a good sign, ur chasing again, not happy being friends, and he won't accept a date, can't fight fate, one or both of us will have to go away I'm afraid, I'd say seize the day, but instead surrender to the hope and faith love makes its way!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/24

Like Gleamy Dreamy

He's just so dreamy, my eyes become gleamy, believe me I'm beaming, even tho deeply within me I'm grieving, why can't I keep my cool, instead of being a bumbling baffoon/overzealous fool, coming on way too strong I'm sure, I wicked wanna know more, like who he is at his core, let him know how it feels to be unconditionally loved and adored, safe and secure, no longer worryingly wondering what uve got to live for, me damn it, and I don't care if u can or can't comprehend or understand bitch, I'm genuinely patient and loyal, will pamper and spoil u royal, be my king I'll be the perceived queen, to have and to hold in ur whole heart and soul means, not only are we a team, but we'll also always and forever be family!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/24

Voicing My Rage Phase

I'm definitely in the phase, of voicing my rage, yes I'm angry and wanna sue God, get Him to just stop, perhaps Dictator Trump will declare "ur fired", we're all growing more and more tired, of the crazy amount of suffering and tragedy, ignoring abusive and wrongful atrocity oh so casually, I'm actually offended on principle, it's like good has grown so passe and complicit they're invisible, it's pitiful plus disturbing and disgusting, boomers dominatingly declare there's no discussion, even in death my mother won, she's coming off as didn't trust her son, like im still an irresponsible child, which is wild, at 42 with 2 bachelors degrees cds singles and licenses too, I shouldn't have to justify or defend myself further to any single fucking one of u!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

Write & Sing The Right Thing

I may not say the right thing, but I spew truth thru when I write and sing, but if actions don't match words, it causes distrust and deeply hurts, omission is worse than a lie, ull regret the things u don't try, hate being allergic to cats, as much as people hiding behind masks, don't need but want u, tho u tease me and taunt too, I can't make ur mind up, as a gay man it seems impossible to find love, since most homos don't know it in the first place, I strive to give so much grace, even at my own expense, sick of being called too intense, perhaps it's time to move on, so I'm not foolishly duped nor conned!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

The Best Sexy AF Hot Mess

When I met him I lost my cool, I haven't crushed on anyone in this ridiculous pool, no judgment, or begrudging, it's just annoying, either exploited or exploiting, silly me, with my genuine authenticity, laying out all my cards, my sleeves made of soul and heart, wearing them like the pain on my face, he made my beat skip and pick up pace, stomaching butterflies, encouraging the disenfranchised, to befriend and love again, with me ull never have to pretend, I'm a safe space, hope to be listed amongst the greats, we define our relationships like success, no matter what I see u at ur best, ur one sexy af hot mess, and that's totally ok, cuz if I'm being completely honest I'm the same!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/18/24

Unlucky With Money & Love Hunny

No stranger to anger, so distant from a successful viral banger, and it's pissing me tf off, while y'all criticize and scoff, questioning my intentions, ur just jealous of my blessings, u chose wrong, it's not my fault u can't rap sing or write an original song, tho I appear strong I'm insecure too, not compensated for the more I do, unlucky in money, finding myself a hunny, to sunny up, done with funny love, bring something to the table, show ur capable and able, to think of someone other than urself, give unbenefitted help, without some hidden agenda, stop being an illusionary pretender, fuck I'm too much, I'm changing the narrative to u simply suck and just ain't enough!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

Www.CoolGayBestFriend 🚫.Com @ The End

With me it's never too late, to find ur way, take that leap, plant a seed, simply begin, u may gain momentum, no reward without risk, bitch u better work that whisk, like Mike just beat it, or better yet stay seated, ur already defeated if u don't try, it's ok to fail lose and cry, always take another chance, evolve ur stance, let me in, love can win even in sin, ride my vibe, we're so lucky to be alive so why not strive to thrive, but in the end for real not pretend, know all Joe ever wanted was to be the whole wide world's cool gay best friend!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/14/24

Just A Day Away

With each passing day, I get further away, leaving grief behind me, while moving silently, helps keep peace, he's such a tease, always have had bad timing, and I'm finding I'd be lying, if I wasn't frustrated/disappointed, it's wicked fucking annoying, having to only hold onto hope and faith, but what if I can't patiently wait, any longer, I don't wanna be stronger, I'm so tired and burnt out, chasing clout while having to bout doubt, hidden agendas along with traumatic tragedy, the universe hurts and is running me raggedy, when all I want is some company, to enjoy this bliss with comfortably triumphantly, we aren't meant to ride and die solo, I hate workaholics the most cuz u know yolo, life shouldn't be just a hustle, I'm not subtle nor afraid of a lil trouble scuffle or struggle, supposed to seize like Columbus, yet not let capitalistic greed creep or seep in leaching like fungus among us, we seem to be absolutely ridiculous hypocrites, definitely especially to both immigrants and the indigenous!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/14/24

Love's So Stupid To Lose It

No won't destroy me, so stop teasing and toying b, return a call or text, perhaps gay relationships are simply hexed, since it's unnatural anyways, look how much the beta sub fag pays, prostituted and exploited, there's so much internal work that's been avoided, let out those issues, blow em into tissues, instead of fists and kicks, look at the consequences ur actions depict, why don't alphas try, looking outside, of what just comes to them, ur showing unknowing family or friends, missing opportunities, lgbtq is a str8 made community, like money an illusion, tolerance is confusing, why keep abusing good people, wasting precious time in life is evil, rather not love at all than lose it, in my honest opinion that philosophy is not only ignorant it's really stupid!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/14/24

Lessons & Blessings

Don't worry about hurting me, if I deem u worthy, sorry I'm so intense, boundaries are better seen fenced, I'd still hop it, I have a huge crush and I can't stop shit, please be in my life, I'll love u thru the fight, even tho I can't save or heal u, I'll keep it 100% real dude, I will never judge, or hold a grudge, since I'm an imperfect human, often wondering what the hell am I doin, letting opportunity and beauty pass by, traumatized from the last guy, back in 2017, but it's him I see clearly in my dreams, and he ain't no saint, yet can talentedly paint, I may be an old soul but don't look it, his hugs and tender kisses have left me shooketh, usually for me they're just another lesson, but I'm hoping this time instead I could be his blessing!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/13/24

Misunderstanded Taken For Granted

Who I am is not what I look like, that's why most my life's been a fight, y'all need to give me more grace, say shit to my fatherfucking face, accept me for all of me, stop crushing my calling/dream, wish I could be seen and heard, nobody's listening to the wisdom I've learned, just taken for granted, completely misunderstanded, underestimated and overlooked, I've left jaws dropped in awe utterly shocked or straight shook, thought we weren't supposed to judge a book's cover, I'm a helluva friend and lover, trying to find my chosen family, when so far there are few who can even tolerate or stand me, oh well their loss, ghosting the living comes at such a high cost, forgiveness is key, especially for urself at least, time is precious and short, all I've ever wanted was to be a good cohort, appreciate great moments building memories, can u show compassion to ur enemies, always being the bigger person, striving to inspiringly be my bestest sexiest healthiest version!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/11/24

The Kick Ass Task Of Grief

Grief is a beast, to say the least, my poetry's therapeutically deep and just such a tease, ain't aiming to please, especially anymore, found most performers are inherently whores, desperately seeking attention, with mostly capitalistic intention, people profit off my blood sweat tears and pain, y'all so vain, judgmental and self righteous, where are the other chosen ones here to enlighten us, perhaps God is water, don't be a hoarder, share the wealth, don't be afraid to give or receive both love and help, men should be more vulnerable and talk, instead of war smoke dope or go for a walk, calm the fuck down, stop acting like a clown, it's important to meet me where I'm at, build bridges and know Joe's always got ur back, simply speaks truth/#facts Jack, tongue twistedly transcribing my witty inspiring rhyming into ab fab rad rap tracks, that'll slap/smack/stab/attack with wicked mass sass and class, kick ass taking all those whack straight and black rappers to task!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/6/24

My Reality/Actuality Of Love & Happy

Oh what a night, it just felt so right, I knew at first sight, he had a certain light, like a higher vibe or frequency, and we seemed to connect seamlessly, was it meant to be, heaven sent him to me, to remind myself, there's always someone else, never ever give up, especially at love, as well as making all my dreams come true, poetry and music's something simply I have to do, fuck fortune and fame it's my purpose, also my passion and service, hoping I can help others, focusing on the mental health of my fellow brothers, breakdown barriers and stereotypes, show there's so much more depth and levels to our lives, we're onions personified, the rings within trees is where age's wisdom hides, along with manifestation and inception, illusion is perception's projection, tho it may be not what they see or believe, I'll create winning my Grammy a reality/actuality and finally be happy!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/6/24

Remember Us Together

Don't forget anger is a stage of grief, it doesn't care about belief, I'm allowed to be angry, even act completely strangely, please give me some grace, sorry if I convey hate, I don't mean to boo, and it ain't cool too, rather rude/misdirection projection, instead of sadness I'm supposed to be only grateful for the blessings I'm inheriting, minimizing my capableness, my life isn't stapled with priveleged bliss, it was never mine, I know in the future I'll be fine, but right in this moment now, I gotta own it and I don't know how, but like my mom said "u just do, keep pushing thru", when talking about my sister,  so I'll listen to her, and always remember, to cherish the beautiful time we all had together!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/5/24