Don't mean to delay dilly dally or doddle, there's so many financial obstacles, that get in the way, trying to make music today, big studios aren't worth it, but a record deal would seem perfect, until it's time to pay back what u owe, that's how many bankruptcies unfold, the trick is it's all about exposure, when the camera's rolling can u keep ur composure, do u get stage fright, fight for the limelight, or are u afraid of success, do u feel u tried ur best, in the end that's all that matters, many singers and rappers try to be actors, branding themselves, having sponsors and investors helps, believe me, money makes u free, from following the rules, allows u to pick and choose, without the stress or burden of bills and debt, not pursuing my passion would make me regret, it's my purpose and destiny, I care about lyrics and legacy, I write heartfelt thought provoking classics, sarcastic scholastic massive magic for the masses, to leisurely enjoy, I wanna be employed, hence the day job, I work and play hard, but I lack luck, consumed with mad mistrust, got guts and love, but it's not enough, perhaps I selfishly want too much, if one young gay boy or man fan is moved and touched, by the power of my words, it eradicates and erases the hurt, from feeling like a failure, altho paparazzi will probably nag and tail ya, it's the price of fame, this isn't just a hobby or a game, it's serious business, I watch the Grammys and think what is this, pop garbage art, lacking soul substance and heart, with one simple single, that makes even ur pimples tingle, I could become rich, gotta find my niche, my specific audience, not interested in shticks gimmicks or oversexualized gaudiness, judge me on my talent, my effort's been valiant, but I'm doing something wrong, everyone that listens to or sees me perform songs, can't stop their jaw dropping gaze, truly paused in awe amazed, my goal's to inspire and relate, strike up conscious debate, collaboration is great, hopefully RI isn't my fate, but if it is that's ok, tho I'm gay I'll still have faith and pray, I know it will continue to get better, with me and my man together, we're strong and resilient, existence is about finding happiness and fulfillment, focus on the now, don't wonder why or how, let shit go and let it be, change the pronoun from I to we, be whole instead of a half, find joy smile and laugh, remember everyone has a lil good and bad, may seem mad but really sad, appearances can be deceiving, all life has value should be mourned and deserves grieving, but death's not the end, while they're here take comfort and pride in ur family and friends, won't be long, til we're all gone, who knows if our spirit's reborn, deformed scorned, the devil's spawn, or beautiful angels in heaven soaring!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
10/26/17
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