Less Woahs & Tissue Issues

As another year comes to a close, been focusing less on the woahs, and more on finding my joy, I sometimes act shy and coy, cuz I'm a bit bashful, often wonder if I have an out of whack axle, or a few screws loose, perhaps I'm in need of a good kick in the caboose, I called a truce with myself, learning to ask and accept help, more than ever, never say never, or watch it happen, trying more laughing, instead of being so serious, the past 3 years have made me delirious, dealing with mom's health issues, can't count the amount of tissues, yet she's still here, can't be dictated by fear, I'm authentically grateful, avoiding judgmental and hateful, cuz life is too short, and hopefully someday I'll stumble upon a gay soul mated cohort, who'll stay by my side, be my ride or die, I can confide in and trust, true love not just lust, maybe only Mr right now, but somehow makes my guarded heart beat and scream out wow!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/29/23

Hundreds If Not Thousands Of Dreamz

This is my 100th poem, look how much I've grown, just this year, sometimes I blankly stare, recollecting how much, life can simply suck, but it builds character and strength, gone thru such great lengths, to hide my grief and pain, fuck scars and stains, they don't define me, why do I live blindly, to certain facts, like maybe I'm rap's hack, can't afford a double stack biggie bag, I find it hard to laugh, musically I'm still in the red, maintain a roof and being fed, thanks to my mom, I remain unharmed, except my pride, and my ego's been bruised thousands of times, I lost count, what if I don't amount, to anything worth while, perhaps y'all don't like my style, or think I have none, sure I do art for fun, I guess I'm foolishly naive, to believe I'll ever succeed, selling out stadiums or winning Grammys, there's still no need to disagree stifle kill and poo poo my dreamz!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/20/23

Murder & Burglar The Idealized Idolized Cute Beaut

I don't feel old, but rather more bold, confident in who I am, I do look like a grown man, bald and a lil gray, we can agree I haven't outphased being gay, I'm still stuck, now I just couldn't give a fuck, I'm not desperate, nor codependent, I'm good solo, so over fomo, manage myself better, very affected by the weather, especially a full moon, super in tuned, I respect my voice, owned every single choice, learning to let go of what isn't mine, growing my gut's intuition and spine, I've got a magnetic soul, my bleeding heart's taking a toll tho, gullibility isn't cute, good thing I'm a beaut, cuz I've gotten away with murder, I'm even a father fucking burglar, assisinated Joe Vacca, stole the legacy of JC the idealized idolized martyr, creating Joe Conscious for my own sanity's salvation, I don't know if I believe in heaven's congratulations, nor burning in hell's fiery flames, life's existence is not a game, I won't ghost the living, nothing's more important than forgiving, instead of drinking poison expecting to kill somebody else, we should treat our bodies like temples not just shells, u only get one, so take every day seriously not simply silly willy nilly fun!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/15/23

Far From Perfect But Absolutely Beautifully Indubitably Worth It

The holiday season, has been difficult for an obvious reason, even 3 and 5 years later, I've turned into a hater, cuz of grief, mixed with jealousy, I want what I had growing up, a life fulfilled with such family/unconditional love, now I feel down on my luck, without dad and G nothing seems enough, my day to day is excessively crappy, forgot what it's like to see me happy, plus I'm consumed by my mom's terrible health, knowing no one else can help, realizing the realities of aging, responsibility is so encaging, no evading the invasion, how do I make myself more approachable and engaging, without just appeasing, nor toxically people pleasing, losing sight of all boundary lines, simply smiling saying I'm fine, while my face says otherwise, I've become numb and almost nullified, like I don't matter at all, despite being ridiculously religiously resilient after every fall, so fuck it, y'all can suck it, I'm gonna keep doing me myself and I, take pride holding my head high, I'm far from perfect, but absolutely beautifully indubitably worth it!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/12/23

About To Out Bout Clout

I gotta gain more stage confidence, not for a lack of competence, simply opportunity, only an illusion of community, truth is everyone's about themselves, nobody pitches in nor helps, unless it betters them, most pretend to be a friend, when again they're really an enemy, don't send for me, unless ur absolutely ready, cuz inevitably, u only get one shot, I might not be big and tall but I'm all heart, and I'm scappy, forgot what it's like to be happy, so watch out, I'll bout clout, with action, and spastic passion, why y'all masking asking, blatantly overcompensating for what ur lacking, guts backbone and common sense, shit gets intense tense, like looking thru a one dimensional lens, always try to live in forgiveness and make amends, since no one knows how much time's left, there's no need for perfection just give it ur best, shouldn't be a pest dude, ur a fool to do anything but u, it's so true, yet also unbelievably cool, a classic original, altho human equals hypocritical, no matter how malleable or adaptable, we can't escape nor change the fact we're all fallable!

Peace and 1
Joe Conscious 
12/9/23

How About A Big Man Bear Hug & Bromantic Love

I'm pretty impressed, cuz I did my best, slowly owning being so blessed and grateful, all I see is the distasteful judgmental and hateful, believe em when they show and tell u who they are, true forgiveness is hard, especially after the third or 420th go around, when u realize ur the problem that's profound, then learn to regrow, be better with boundaries ur gut and backbone, soon there's no more home to go to, I can't explain the pain I've known to hold on thru, it can alter and change the vibe of a room, I wanna make u having a gay besty too cool, completely platonic deep seeded bromantic love, there's nothing more comforting than an all encompassing big man bear hug, plus I ain't lying, I need my guy time, next to pot and music that's how I survive, it ain't easy getting by sometimes, grief can be overwhelmingly hellish, but the bright white light within is much too overzealous, after all is said and done, I am my warrior mother's brilliant resilient son!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

12/4/23