Less Woahs & Tissue Issues

As another year comes to a close, been focusing less on the woahs, and more on finding my joy, I sometimes act shy and coy, cuz I'm a bit bashful, often wonder if I have an out of whack axle, or a few screws loose, perhaps I'm in need of a good kick in the caboose, I called a truce with myself, learning to ask and accept help, more than ever, never say never, or watch it happen, trying more laughing, instead of being so serious, the past 3 years have made me delirious, dealing with mom's health issues, can't count the amount of tissues, yet she's still here, can't be dictated by fear, I'm authentically grateful, avoiding judgmental and hateful, cuz life is too short, and hopefully someday I'll stumble upon a gay soul mated cohort, who'll stay by my side, be my ride or die, I can confide in and trust, true love not just lust, maybe only Mr right now, but somehow makes my guarded heart beat and scream out wow!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/29/23

Hundreds If Not Thousands Of Dreamz

This is my 100th poem, look how much I've grown, just this year, sometimes I blankly stare, recollecting how much, life can simply suck, but it builds character and strength, gone thru such great lengths, to hide my grief and pain, fuck scars and stains, they don't define me, why do I live blindly, to certain facts, like maybe I'm rap's hack, can't afford a double stack biggie bag, I find it hard to laugh, musically I'm still in the red, maintain a roof and being fed, thanks to my mom, I remain unharmed, except my pride, and my ego's been bruised thousands of times, I lost count, what if I don't amount, to anything worth while, perhaps y'all don't like my style, or think I have none, sure I do art for fun, I guess I'm foolishly naive, to believe I'll ever succeed, selling out stadiums or winning Grammys, there's still no need to disagree stifle kill and poo poo my dreamz!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/20/23

Murder & Burglar The Idealized Idolized Cute Beaut

I don't feel old, but rather more bold, confident in who I am, I do look like a grown man, bald and a lil gray, we can agree I haven't outphased being gay, I'm still stuck, now I just couldn't give a fuck, I'm not desperate, nor codependent, I'm good solo, so over fomo, manage myself better, very affected by the weather, especially a full moon, super in tuned, I respect my voice, owned every single choice, learning to let go of what isn't mine, growing my gut's intuition and spine, I've got a magnetic soul, my bleeding heart's taking a toll tho, gullibility isn't cute, good thing I'm a beaut, cuz I've gotten away with murder, I'm even a father fucking burglar, assisinated Joe Vacca, stole the legacy of JC the idealized idolized martyr, creating Joe Conscious for my own sanity's salvation, I don't know if I believe in heaven's congratulations, nor burning in hell's fiery flames, life's existence is not a game, I won't ghost the living, nothing's more important than forgiving, instead of drinking poison expecting to kill somebody else, we should treat our bodies like temples not just shells, u only get one, so take every day seriously not simply silly willy nilly fun!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/15/23

Far From Perfect But Absolutely Beautifully Indubitably Worth It

The holiday season, has been difficult for an obvious reason, even 3 and 5 years later, I've turned into a hater, cuz of grief, mixed with jealousy, I want what I had growing up, a life fulfilled with such family/unconditional love, now I feel down on my luck, without dad and G nothing seems enough, my day to day is excessively crappy, forgot what it's like to see me happy, plus I'm consumed by my mom's terrible health, knowing no one else can help, realizing the realities of aging, responsibility is so encaging, no evading the invasion, how do I make myself more approachable and engaging, without just appeasing, nor toxically people pleasing, losing sight of all boundary lines, simply smiling saying I'm fine, while my face says otherwise, I've become numb and almost nullified, like I don't matter at all, despite being ridiculously religiously resilient after every fall, so fuck it, y'all can suck it, I'm gonna keep doing me myself and I, take pride holding my head high, I'm far from perfect, but absolutely beautifully indubitably worth it!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/12/23

About To Out Bout Clout

I gotta gain more stage confidence, not for a lack of competence, simply opportunity, only an illusion of community, truth is everyone's about themselves, nobody pitches in nor helps, unless it betters them, most pretend to be a friend, when again they're really an enemy, don't send for me, unless ur absolutely ready, cuz inevitably, u only get one shot, I might not be big and tall but I'm all heart, and I'm scappy, forgot what it's like to be happy, so watch out, I'll bout clout, with action, and spastic passion, why y'all masking asking, blatantly overcompensating for what ur lacking, guts backbone and common sense, shit gets intense tense, like looking thru a one dimensional lens, always try to live in forgiveness and make amends, since no one knows how much time's left, there's no need for perfection just give it ur best, shouldn't be a pest dude, ur a fool to do anything but u, it's so true, yet also unbelievably cool, a classic original, altho human equals hypocritical, no matter how malleable or adaptable, we can't escape nor change the fact we're all fallable!

Peace and 1
Joe Conscious 
12/9/23

How About A Big Man Bear Hug & Bromantic Love

I'm pretty impressed, cuz I did my best, slowly owning being so blessed and grateful, all I see is the distasteful judgmental and hateful, believe em when they show and tell u who they are, true forgiveness is hard, especially after the third or 420th go around, when u realize ur the problem that's profound, then learn to regrow, be better with boundaries ur gut and backbone, soon there's no more home to go to, I can't explain the pain I've known to hold on thru, it can alter and change the vibe of a room, I wanna make u having a gay besty too cool, completely platonic deep seeded bromantic love, there's nothing more comforting than an all encompassing big man bear hug, plus I ain't lying, I need my guy time, next to pot and music that's how I survive, it ain't easy getting by sometimes, grief can be overwhelmingly hellish, but the bright white light within is much too overzealous, after all is said and done, I am my warrior mother's brilliant resilient son!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

12/4/23

The Hope & Pray Away Bandaid

When my intentions went questioned, I lost faith grace and sight of my blessings, there's love in both compliments and criticism, as a Gemini I get caught up in positivity as easily as cynicism, moreso when it's about myself, I have no problem asking for help, the pressure's off tho now, cuz unfortunately y'all weren't taught or simply don't know how, til shit happens to u, realizing ur a fool too, that's called hypocrisy, and like a capitalistic democracy, we eventually implode, losing sight of what matters most...people over dough, idealism gets bastardized, yet it's ok to tell Jesus/Santa style white lies, while childless singles get ostracized, and gays are told they should stay silent quiet and hide their pride, stop shoving ur sex stuff in our face, in my homo opinion straights are the disgrace, plaguing the planet with overpopulation like cancer, keep kicking cans down the line without any apologies solutions or answers, the only remedy is a temporary ineffective bandaid, of no gun control but just told to hope and pray problems away!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/28/23

Continue To Do U

I'm a sexy leathery rappy zaddy, actually practically role model such a much better daddy, than most men out there, who fear being unempathetically vulnerable/sensitively care, to dare shed a tear in public, but I say fuck it, be that crude rude dude boo, and just continue to do u!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/25/23

Understanding Planning & Branding What Fans Are Demanding

Ur bud came in such clutch, I'm just about to finish it up, thank u again, ur the bestest friend, since we were four years old, we've always been close bros, thru all levels of life, pain heartache and strife, nothing stays the same, but the love's never changed, I got ur back like u got mine, with an alpha by my side I'll be fine, I am safely free to be me, which doesn't mean I ain't sarcastically teased, some gay jokes get a reprieve, but a lack of a sense of humor's my biggest pet peeve, afterall a ton of truth is often said in jest, most comics artists and musicians would ace a hot mess test, we're all simply running around, naive ignorant and willfully unprofound, especially in hip hop, where racism and ageism won't stop, they're still so homophobic, confusing ghetto gangster with heroic/stoic, it's seriously damaging fans' understanding, my intricate conscious planning, of candid poetic rhythm and real lyricism branding, a god given natural talent I think the whole globe's nostalgically demanding!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/26/23

Procrastinating/Lacking Adapting Action

By procrastinating/lacking adapting action, to the reality of what's happened, ur damaging me, and ur legacy, cuz I feel neglected, completely unprotected, from what happens after, not having a sister there to share the tears turning to laughter, helping us to get thru the grief, is shaking my foundational core beyond belief, I've gotten more than I can handle, my once bright light's dwindled down to a candle, my whole soul feels dismantled, we gamble thinking chance's opportunity's ample, it's not, ull regret no longer having what u got, it'll frustratingly enrage, isolate and disengage, since u simply won't have any energy, perhaps y'all are better than me, or maybe...just maybe, even adults can be big babies, who pitifully unadmittedly remain ignorantly naive, age don't equate experience nor earn any free pass/reprieve!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/24/23

Amaze Shock & Drop More Jaws

I'm a bald but scruffy shorty, in my early 40s, don't count me out, I'm hungry to hustle and bout, like I'm just getting started, how do I remain so openhearted, despite overwhelming concentrated grief, that shook my confidence and belief, right down to the foundational core, I could never be an alcoholic nor whore, guess that makes me a prude, or goody too shoes, I say I'm a kinky stoner, an overthinky feely loner, so sensitive, it's absolutely imperative, to separate what's urs vs mine, create decisive boundary lines, to protect myself, not afraid to admit I need help, it's ok to to stay vulnerable, does gay equate lover trouble, simply since it's against the norm, nobody's prepared for life's shit storm, but I've learned to embrace perceived flaws, and use them to amaze shock and drop more jaws!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/20/23

A Love Lighter

Dmx was a rough rider, JC is a love lighter, all about consciousness and truth, perhaps that point's moot, cuz it's all perception, I'm a personified exception, not a stereotype, but pretty easy to like, I go deep, my climb's steep, feel prepared, attack fear, cuz it's uncomfortable, want some trouble, civilian life is monotonous, government all on top of us, imprisoning our decisions, wish y'all could see my vision, we could be so much better, if we worked together, stop judging one another, keeping urself undercover, I don't want ur representative, perhaps the youth do need incentive, they're not appreciated for their value and worth, so concerned at birth, just until they're no longer productive at work, not transferring power makes the boomers jerks, and to be honest I've had it, since no one else will I'll be the advocate, they never gave us, I'll disrespect elders when they've broken trust, existence is not about money hunny, I don't find hoarding nor greed funny, it's finally the next generation's time, we are more than ready capable and primed to be fine!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/19/23

Happiest Of Birthdays Mom

U gave me a constant feeling of safe, never needed to numb or escape, a comfortable bubble, permission to get into some innocent trouble, cuz that's how kids learn, still waiting for my turn, perhaps it's perpetual 2nd child syndrome, discrimination was never condoned, was brought up right, flight over fight, since war never solved conflict, I'd say they were pretty strict, but was allowed room to improve trust, funny tho I lack backbone and guts, mostly cuz I respected and followed the rules, I grew in and out of schools, life is ur greatest teacher, never wanted to be a leecher, my folks were the epitome example of persistence, showed me the key to succeed is resilience, don't expect perfection, parents shouldn't dictate oppression, instead be an advocate or guide, nothing is more harmful than a white lie, the truth will set us free, thank u for loving me unconditionally, it made me brave, I wish u the best and the happiest of birthdays!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/18/23

Value My Own Home On The Road

Time for uncomfortable hustle and grind, gotta grow thicker skin backbone and spine, get my head on straight, in a much better mind state, create a space of my own, fuck a huge house I want a home on the road, become a performing not just recording artist, stop working the hardest and start smartest, money can't buy some of life's most valuable things, y'all don't understand what amount of joy when I rap and sing brings, it's not just a passion my talent's a gift that's also my purpose, treating it like a hobby renders my ultimate happiness worthless, too distracted by soulless jobs, why can't business decisions come from our hearts, instead of the bottom dollar, there's two breeds of peeps entrepreneurs and scholars, but at the end of the day, we're valued by how much ur paid or uve made yet can't take to the grave, so remember if u misbehave, ur wealth won't ever equate saved!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/4/23

Help Urself

Seems I've been so afraid of A I privilegedly lived plan B, often forgetting the difference between committed and codependency, which unintentionally leads to questioning whether I'm honoring vs neglecting me, shouldn't compete who's suffered most tragically, nor more dramatically traumatically, I finally disillusioned romanticism and idielism, I guess I jest but it's hard to digest there's a spectrum of realism, every person's perspective is inherently different, no one's taking responsibility for their participatory decisions, ya'll feeling entitled to being the only victim, just stuck in another narcissistic prison system, disguised as a magnificent kingdom, late blooming always losing and never winning some, perhaps it's time to go on an ayahuasca journey, release all those inner demons to make peace and deem my own self worthy, quite simply I'm deeply hurt, I'm rather enraged and disturbed, too much concentrated grief, I've become numb in utter shock/disbelief, and nobody is able to help, cuz at the end of the day all u got is God and urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/3/23

Focus Ur Eyes On The True Prize

Imagine having a home u couldn't go to, pretending everything is all fine and cool, when it isn't, but if I didn't, it would cause more worry, why are kids in such a hurry, to grow old, letting fear and responsibility take hold and mold, leaving us feeling cold and alone, relationships don't work when only on a phone, since it's out of sight outta mind, people refuse to look inside afraid of what they'll find, nothing but regret, y'all forget to lift ur head, focused on keeping it down, never took a moment to look around, what are u all about, does ur character have clout, or consumed by doubt, no matter how loud u shout, my eyes try to realize the true prize is picking the right battles u do bout!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/27/23

Always Investing In & Betting On JC

I'm in a better place/head space, to man up and do what it takes, helping mom transition, finally break the vicious cycle of living in worry's addiction, another victim's self imprisoning system, why aren't any of y'all actually listening, to understand not respond or fix, stop being insensitive selfish thick pricks, assholes and narcissistic dicks, stuck in ignorant's disillusioned bliss, consider what legacy u leave, strive to be better than me, persistently an ample example, while I resiliently rise after I'm bulldozed over or trampled, naively thinking I'm invincible/plain sight invisible, an automatic underdog just cuz I'm lil, go ahead and underestimate me, I wholeheartedly and genuinely believe, and can almost 100% guarantee, eventually it'll pay off investing in and betting on JC!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/27/23

The Genuine Best Of Me

Y'all want a role instead of a real model, I refuse to sugarcoat or coddle, this tf who I be, the double Gemini always high me, that's just it, fuck business I'm artistic, I love both performing and writing, and it don't have to be verbally battling nor fighting, I'm stream of consciousness, sick of all this lack of lyricism obnoxiousness, like uve forgotten rap's actually an acronym, I've had it with mumble rapping, no hate tho, I appreciate any great yo, make ur money, even if I think it's corny or funny, every definition of sexy is different, can't admit we're sometimes ignorant, and that that's ok, can be cool white and gay, yet also be a god, especially in hip hop, cuz I won't stop, til I'm on top, not necessarily sexually, but all my true fans out there know I'll consistently give the genuine best of me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/23/23

Watch & Gawk As I Walk My Talk

I'll take ur sympathy, even ur pity, at this point I'm annoyed, no longer find joy, in being social, especially local, I've totally outgrown, this place I've known as home, and I'm reminded, why I ultimately decided, to move to the west coast, not to brag or boast, it's just better for me, I'm allowed to vibe freely, be low key and chill, instead of my mood killed, by constant judgement, it's hard not to become numb and begrudging, the reason for my anxiety, dimming my shine was my priority, now the beast is unleashed, I'm gonna speak up teach and preach to a beat, cuz I ain't no amateur, anymore, I'm living out loud and proud, done with shame guilt and my bout with doubt, I don't cockily shout clout, maybe I should be an agent or talent scout if I knew how, being an artist, these days is the hardest, u gotta do it all by urself, while others aren't very interested in lending help, since ur competition, nobody's really hearing or listening, so watch and gawk, as I walk my talk, alone solo, cuz u know yolo!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/22/23

Surrender & Bender

And just like that, my train went off track, life's like a rollercoaster ride, everyone's running on ego and pride, fuck empathy, living regrettably, nobody knows their purpose or passion, y'all lacking action, wondering why, the world seems to keep passing u by, safe in comfortable bubbles, afraid of self made trouble, but making mistakes is human, just when u feel destroyed and ruined, that's when a star is born, I don't think we've been properly warned, grief is crippling, opioids are extremely addicting, there won't be social security, do u think god judges us if we're worthy, who enters the pearly gates, is hell the automatic destination for gays, like Lil Nas X says, perhaps it really is all guess, and we must just surrender, have fun and rock it like everyday's ur last bender!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/23

Denied Trys To Protect Us From Our Own Guts

Parents be like do as I dictate not do, take me for an incompetent lazy fool, even tho I've got more degrees than u, y'all can't handle the truth, claiming I'm the problem or danger, took us from family to strangers, moving on out was the best thing I did, my elders perceive me to be a perpetual kid, just cuz I am younger than them, even tried to be friends, but that didn't work either, can a person be both a wallflower and a leader, don't we eventually evolve, never got into golf, except mini, god I used to be so skinny, til puberty thickened me broad, rebellious against the boomer white lies they taught, micromanaging our lives, take away our tries, to supposedly protect us, from developing and following our own guts, so as I get older, I'm less of a go with the flow-er, lacking self esteem and confidence, these days I'm amazed at the extraordinary level of incompetence, from pretty much everyone, all these peeps have become numb dumb scum, not even poking fun, but evil's won and I'm just done!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/18/23

How Now Loud & Proud

Forget regret, ur life is ur own to bet, fuck what they say, who cares if I'm gay, bi or not, do I have soul and heart, let me be and do me, breakdown stereotypes and boundaries, I am who I portray I am, just another average man, making myself proud, laughing out loud, livin in the now, leaving all y'all father fuckers asking how!

Peace and 1

Joe Conscious 

10/16/23

We All Have The Power

In letting go, I'm returning to Joe, who's compassionate and kind, but not pressing rewind, I'm moving forward with grace and love, relearning I'm tough enough, sometimes healing, isn't actually a feeling, it's a state of soul, my heart turned cold, mostly cuz of grief, yet somehow I kept my belief, that hope and faith, will guide my way, thru the dark times, to where the light shines, not that then itll be easy breezy, but at that point if anybody needs me, perhaps I'll be ready, a lil more steady, don't wanna get ahead of myself, the only way anyone can help, is if ur own cup's full, depicts whether ur stock is bear or bull, no matter if we rise or fall, the power to succeed is within us all!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/15/23

Still Surprised I Resiliently Rise

U can love but not like, even after a brutal fight, easily can grow to hate, before u realize the mistake, it's the circumstance not the person, anger indicates hurting, which is wicked confusing, disillusioning abusing, cuz shit didn't go how u envisioned, stop gossiping and judging the way I'm living, tell me the number of licenses certificates and degrees u have, plus 2 hip hop/rap albums and 800+ poems to add to that, I'll wait and laugh, so as a matter of fact, don't ever ever ever call me lazy, nor crazy, when I feel entitled to not have to work harder, sorry not sorry I'm simply smarter, and I no longer feel the need, to justify defensively, I'm proud of my damn self, cuz I did it all with minimal help, my own family, didn't understand me, still I marched onto the beat of an original drum, stepped up to be a phenomenal son, after my dad and big sis passed, without any inheritance or financial assistance when I asked, kicked out of my home on my ass fast, once again the problematic outcast, but watch me resiliently rise, my true friends won't be surprised, with nothing left to prove, no matter what happens next I can't lose! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/14/23

Society's Decisions Are Not From The Heart

Is this the world we created, cuz I absolutely hate it, upside down backwards land, and I'm so not a fan, they've bastardized truth and righteousness, how on earth do we fight this shit, it's fucking disgusting, while also disrupting, democracy as a whole, I guess the devil stole our soul, these boomer presidents need to retire, most of these sheep in Congress should be fired, don't even get me started, on the supreme court that's immoral and coldhearted, overturning Roe v Wade, I'm surprised they haven't made it illegal to be gay, we're in serious trouble, and all y'all are sitting safe in ur comfortable bubble, I get no satisfaction in I told u so, ur never to old to grow, but it seems ignorance persists, only an illusion of bliss, in reality it's not, society isn't business so decisions should come from the heart!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/13/23

A Reckoning's Beckoning

Risk taking is beckoning, since it's comfortable's reckoning, I did my best, and yet another test, is on the horizon, what I'm finally realizing, I was living wrong, wasn't working on any new songs, cuz i was burnt out, had to learn not to bout, surrender to my higher power, remember rainbows only come after the shower, stars are formed after a cloud collapsed, when ur feeling helplessly trapped, know that moments pass, nothing forever lasts, but what matters most, is holding onto hope, even if it is false, when loved ones die life halts, u become numb, u feel heavier than a ton, and u can bring down a whole room, best thing to do is shroom, it helps with PTSD and depression, the pain never goes away or lessens, we just exist around it, the grief is confounded, as the world keeps turning, while ur lost and hurting, waiting for that day, when u awake and simply know it'll all be ok!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/12/23

Not Not Negative Rhetoric

I refuse to lose to the fear of losing again, tho u can't choose ur family u do choose ur friends, don't be afraid to be brave, it's ok to make mistakes, that's what being human is all about, something isn't more important cuz u shout, in fact it's deafening, there's a huge difference between being and feeling threatened, I should know, do I need to speak if u read slow, I'm a grammar nazi, like where's Waldo can u spot me, in a sea of baldy beans, nothing is ever as it seems, book cover judging, by curmudgeons, it's automatic, like autocratic, aka Putin, teachers can be students, u can be both things simultaneously, I admire spontaneity, very vocabulary savvy, not just any guy can have me, who's got game, fools fuck lame, vanilla is boring, sorry for snoring, my worst trait, hate to bait, but love fishing, some sarcasm comes across bitching, I'm not not negative, just have naturally antagonistic rhetoric, afterall I'm a double Gemini, still in trouble for getting high, like it isn't legal medicine, bring back lethal injection, treat people like pets, give us the dignity of opting death, instead of having to suffer, like my poor sister and mother, creating survivor's guilt and trauma, when I do go tho I hope it's like my papa!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/9/23

Why I Rise & Shine Rhyming

Don't know why, I wasn't by ur side, couldn't watch u die, so I had to decide, to try and fly, cuz now's my time to rise and shine, no more crying, whining and dining, I'm worth finding and buying, hit the ground grinding, instead of shying from prying, the spotlight's blinding, eyes need drying, gotta stop hiding I'm priming, superstardom's aligning, signing wiling, vying for styling, y'all declining dividing while social climbing, lying spying and antagonizing my rhyming!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/9/23

Don't Escape Experience

Travelers experience life while tourists try to escape it, no matter how hard I want to I can't fake shit, caught up in living for tomorrow, cuz I simply don't wanna handle today's pain and sorrow, it's all just too much, I no longer give 2 fucks, I can only cross bridges when I get there, gotta stop being dictated by fear, it's stolen enough, keep ur tough love, the clock is ticking away now, I refuse to question why or how, that's wasting time, have faith it'll work out fine, lean in and take the leap, sowing oats so I can finally reap, making decisions for me, even if y'all can't see and believe, I can, and I'm my own man, comfortably single, open hearted and ready to mingle, letting go so it can be, explore more of the land they say is free!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/8/23

Conscious Not Cow Now

I'm feeling I'm being punished, not respecting my boundaries got me gutted, esp when it's my mom, she doesnt understand the psychological emotional and spiritual harm, on my confidence and self esteem, I thought we were a team, in the end I was a fool, got played like a useful tool, then left to fend for myself, with zero help, and so I'm done, life ain't fair or fun, it's designed slavery, y'all show me u hate me, by picking her side, enabling her ego and pride, I'll leave and u won't ever see me again, all I have are my friends, I'm an orphan now, my last name's Conscious no longer cow, I've got nothing but regret guilt and shame, and the harsh sad reality is I've only got my own choices to blame!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/2/23

Not Robots & Old Farts Sitting Pretty In Toxicity's Misery

Been staying more off line, reducing ur cough time, don't smoke those bowls, since everybody knows, at first smell, but oh well, it's an occupational hazard, I feel like Joss singing I'm torn and tattered, life's been brutal, haven't I proven myself responsibly frugal, yet still can't be trusted, who am I colonel mustard, what tool did I use, and in what room, guilty til proven innocent, there's no accountability for maga sheeple being ignorant, wanting to see democracy unglued, they won't obey or even listen to rules, the narcissistic exception, that can't understand my artistic expression, do I give y'all the impression, I think everyday is a blessing, cuz it definitely is not, all I hear about is robots and old farts, hoarding and ignoring their toxicity, boring sitting pretty in misery, abusing refusing to share their wealth, triggering rigging the hands they've dealt, shut and locked the doors once thru, most built drawbridged moats too, so much red tape, under their thumb seems impossible to overcome and escape, the next generation's screwed, only got to know hypocrisy's truth, made to believe in magic without proof, do as they say not as they do!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/1/23

Silly Willy Nilly Vs Chilly Nitty Gritty Hilly & Grizzly

Another hard chapter coming to a close, the harsh reality of aging blows, but like I've said before that's life, timing just never seems right, each minute of every day's a fight, can both past and future be bright, what about now, I have absolutely no clue how, I will survive, let alone thrive, continue to consistently strive, trying to keep the high five alive, celebrate small victories, taking on other peep's responsibilities willingly is silly, so many navigating willy nilly, while my roads are all chilly nitty gritty hilly and grizzly, my resilience gets persistently challenged, if love ain't enough then neither is talent, tho ur efforts may be valiant, and u could even be a father fucking stallion, there is no guarantee, why can't we live for free, perhaps it's a natural dichotomy that we'll never be equal, it's a neverending battle between men vs women and good vs evil!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/30/23

Stay Steady Between Heavy & Catchy

I'm always trying, to navigate that fine line, stay steady, between heavy and catchy, nobody likes preachy, nor cheesy, just be authentic and genuine, why can't I be rap's middle class college grad non effeminate gay gentleman, not that my sexuality matters, I'd rather get ahead of the gossiping assumption judgment and chatter, most don't expect it, plus I'm overly cautious and protective, like it's my dirty lil secret without the guilt and shame tho, love sex games but I ain't no fame ho, not a snake shark or crab, life's become numb overrun by a zombie vampire attack, perhaps I'm so magical, it's almost actual/palpable, but is it palatable, presenting ghetto gangster wouldn't be factual nor practical, cuz I suck at faking shit, make many mistakes a bit, guess I'm another stubborn italian, a fun loving talented stallion, who can rock the mic, bringing both naughty and nice!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/27/23

Almost 3 Years & Still Doesn't Feel Real

My sister would've been 45, if she were still alive, she was such a bright light, always on my side whatever I might fight, she was a huge influence and inspiration, can't seem to maneuver her losses integration, especially dealing with mom, who's tough love is actually toxic harm, I'd trade my life for hers, why is everybody so concerned Joe works, like 2 bachelors degrees a paralegal certificate and life insurance license isn't enough, writing poetry and music is extremely tough, I don't know anyone else with 2 albums released, why aren't people beloved until deceased, I feel forgotten and neglected, definitely not supported nor protected, if heaven even exists, how could they allow shit to unfold like this, it's ridiculous, almost insidious, and I'm the bad guy, cuz I get high, just trying to escape, all this grief pain and hate, apparently I'm to blame, discounted and shamed, since I'm 41 and refuse, to be mentally emotionally and spiritually used and abused, no one understands what I'm goin thru, would u persistently try knowing ull lose, cuz that's how I feel, it's been almost 3 years and Gia being gone still doesn't seem real!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/22/23

Gladly Sporadically Happy Badly In Cali

Never could trim the fat, had to have surgery to fix that, snowballing into severe gout, and then the hypocrisy spouts out, everytime u criticize my bad habits, I just have to walk away and laugh at it, but u ain't ever changing ur ways, like I can't stop being artistic nor gay, but yet I must always compromise, surrender my boundary lines, automatically, all nostalgically, the very definition of family, is straight insanity, pun intended, if I said it I meant it, won't sugarcoat shit, don't even gloat a lil bit, humble modest and honest to a fault, wish my need to people please would halt, put me first finally, cuz the worst rivalry, I have is with myself, took me forever learning how to ask for help, wealth has nothing to do with money, guess the best place to live if ur poor's where it's mostly sunny, like Biggie I'm goin back to Cali, since they'll gladly have me, even if it's only sporadically, I just wanna be happy badly!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/21/23

Don't Pass On That Ass & Grass

They say this too shall pass, but this shit's kicking my father fucking ass, gotta play the game, go my own way unashamed, no shade I hate fake, humans make mistakes and break, fallible by nature, be a frequent masturbator, release that sexual tension, everybody's desperately starving for attention, but not for the right things, when evil wins the battle begins, it's time that good stand up to fight, I demand y'all share more of ur love and light, stop being so shady and funny, with life advice and money, give without expectation or conditions, the level of selfishness hoarding and greed is sickening, we all need each other, since it's one overpopulated planet filled with dysfunctional fathers mothers sisters and brothers, and we just can't seem to get along, been preaching for years to all to take medicinal hits from blunts bowls and bongs, esp on a high ride with JC, yeah u know me, let's bring about world peace, maybe one day I'll blaze and have my name mentioned amongst hip hop/rap's unique elites!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/15/23 

There's Wisdom In Forgiving

I gotta stop romanticizing life, cuz it's just tragedy and strife, it shouldn't be this hard or sad, I'm so hurt I'm mad, the hypocrisy is real, nobody gives a fuck about how I feel, that's just Joe being dramatic really reaching, parenting isn't teaching, it's all about acceptance unconditional love and support, that means actually help not hoard, u may have the law on ur side, but what u did to me was immorally unethical and simply not right, like I said ull meet ur maker, who knew a mother would be a hater, threaten to disinherit her last remaining child's wild, afterall that has transpired, look what I lost and sacrificed, I have no more appetite, for materialism nor family, who never appreciated nor could understand/stand me, enabling irresponsibility, when it's rather silly, I'm quite intelligent frugal and savvy, if u need some financial planning assistance or guidance holla at me, I'm a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, constantly trying to stay humble kind non judgmental and forgiving, while still only human, pursuing ruining all that's been cocooning, and handicapping my true power's potential, watch how now I'll spitefully prove to y'all I'm incredibly indespendable on another whole level!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/11/23

My One Wish Is...

It is what it is, so go handle ur business, don't let them diminish or dismiss, what it took to get to this bliss, in a world that won't admit it, nor takes any responsibility for a lil bit, my one wish is people actually give a shit!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/8/23

Revolt Against Humanity's Insanity

It's not the love that's replaced by hate it's the like, jamming out to Tina sanging "I Don't Wanna Fight", realizing I wasn't mad at u it was the whole situation, I'm sorry for breaking and my angry venomous reaction's presentation, I had to self protect, at least match ur disrespect, we can't agree to disagree, so u do u and I'll do me, maybe with time and distanced space, we can heal enough the hurt's somehow magically erased, it's sad this feels like a finite goodbye, and I'm walking away wondering why, it didn't have to end like this, with our powers combined we could've lived in financial security's bliss, just like dad and G wanted for the both of us, unfortunately I'm being forced to only rely on a shit ton of hope and guts, like Trev and I discussed it's my time to lean in and leap, start sowing knowing my value is not defined by how much I inherited and/or vs reaped, but what toxic cycles did I not repeat, do u intend to thieve harm or cheat, the rest gotta give to God, which I am not, remember and accept my own humanity, and revolt against societal normality's insanity!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/7/23

No Hault Retract Or Take Backs

U spoiled then shamed shunned and punished me like a bastard child, the fact that u won't pay me for services rendered then threaten to disinherit me's wild, always told me ud help me while ur alive, forcibly pressured to struggle more to grow and survive but never thrive, cuz of ur tough toxic love I got destructively burnt out, do I truly even have privelage or clout, perhaps my gayness cancels out the whiteness, no money or children to the righteous, means I'm expendably disposable aka waste of life, I think y'all just want a taste of my bright light, and yet I feel guilty, my trauma neglect and pain built me, which means my foundation is resilient as fuck, if it wasn't bad I'd have no luck, I'm stuck in what seems to be an impossible situation, keep and heed ur own judgmental opinion advice and gossiping insinuation, I'm wiser than most, I just don't flaunt brag or boast, but when u burn my bridge, I'm not responsible for becoming crazily hatefully unhinged, I'm simply matching, ur disrespectful boundary line crossing actions, ur fault, once unleashed I can't hault, let alone retract, and absolutely no take backs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/5/22

Reckless Abandon: Fallibly Flawed

A new chapter has already begun, it's called reckless abandon, like a Phoenix burning my path unapologetically, y'all can't keep up with me intellectually, nor emotionally, I'm the problem supposedly, focused on my reaction not the cause, bullying and gaslighting me without pause, enabling irresponsibility, this whole situation is absurdly silly, cyclical insanity, the abuse isn't my profanity, it's her lack of communication and understanding, her manipulation is dastardly conniving and underhanded, we are both victims here, accountability isn't being remotely closely shared, they're all too scared of confronting her, an intervention occurred, I became the danger, essentially told to leave and be a stranger, but only for a lil while and tell us ur plan now, I have no fucking clue how, yet I got this, I lit myself on fire to keep y'all in ur warm fuzzy ignorant bliss, asking me to forgettably let go of the past and trust they're gonna step up, call this just tough love, when the truth is people don't change, and a lifetime of experience remains, I was the only one there thru it all, I am no longer lucky or blessed to have any safety net when I fall, I'm done apologizing cuz of shame and guilt, enjoy drowning in the hollow empty king's diseasy existence u hoardishly built, surrounded by leeches and crabs, hope ur happy with all the stuff u have, goodbye forever, u are the reason we couldn't weather this together, u choose to procrastinate and ignore, unwilling to admit ur simply human/fallibly flawed, desperately in need of some serious help, just no longer from me since u refuse to urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/4/23

I Am Mary Jane Not A Gardner

I love u so much I hate u, like an addicted codependent soul mated fool, I'm ur choice u weren't mine, taking responsibility is fine, but with u it's all one way streets, major hypocrisy, selfishness and hoarding, nobody has been heeding my warning, no more ignoring and procrastinating, I'm done compromising and debating, the time is now, and I have the intelligence and know how, she's gotta give up control, let go especially of pride and ego, and have faith that I'm perfectly capable and able, to make sure we are both forever taken care of safe and stable, but in order for that to happen she must relinquish power, she's the gardner and I'm her last flower, what happens after retirement, we have to adapt to changing circumstances and a new environment, perhaps I grew thru the concrete, being part of a garden isn't guaranteed, I don't know why, only I persevered succeeded and thrived, but I'm done feeling guilty and ashamed, perhaps quite literally the personification of Mary Jane, we ain't the same, neither's about to change, guess pain just comes with gains, may translate into scars but eventually fades and wanes!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/1/23

Actually Magically Transcendent & Divine Sublime

Is it too much to ask, to be nice and not finish last, why doesn't being good pay, can we stop letting evil get its way, how come life isn't fair, wonder which sex is more defined by their hair, who named the wife beater, I've strived to be a light beamer, even in this world of heartless darkness, it's not about working the hardest but smartest, and society is failing, trying to fix shit jailing, when existence is literally a prison system, we collectively need to practice wisdom listening, not problem solving all the time, many hide behind the line I'm fine, but in reality they're suffering, I miss the bliss of dad and sis buffering, u best believe, grief is never brief, it sticks with u too, like an unhealed wound or bruise, spiritual abuse, u just simply can't mute, shouldn't dwell on it tho and excessively wallow, become so numb and hollow from the sorrow, I dim or extinguish, why don't most rappers grow up distinguished, seems only valid if ur broke from guttered ghettos, another exclusive club for the heteros, gotta somehow master actor that x factor, disguise truth thru sarcasm and laughter, these sheeple can't understand genuine authentic realness, music that moves and soothes u to deeply feel it, effecting ur whole soul, connecting younger generations with old, it's quite amazingly divine, magically transcendent and rather sublime!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/29/23

Friction Love

"I want y'all to loudly whisper Joe Conscious...til it becomes obnoxious.. .cuz it's hypnotic and intoxicating...so stop hating and start appreciating...my lyrical intelligence and wisdom...join our fabulous LGBTQ kingdom...where we transcend and trust that the thrust of lust...frictions lots of consenual hugs and allows all of us to just love"

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/23/23

A Worthless Hot Mess Inept At Success

Trying to shed the mental dread and darkness is the hardest, procrastinating selling her assets is not the smartest, she's burdening me with so much, when did I become a crutch, I can't handle all this, miss the peaceful bliss, that won't come til she's gone, I know in my heart that thinking is wrong, but it's my truth, psychological and spiritual abuse is hard to prove, life isn't fair it's only about having children and money, I'm not even being dramatic sarcastic or funny, no wonder I have no value or worth, I'm an unemployed single childless gay artist living at my moms house wishing I was never birthed, I mean why do I even exist, Earth is a hellish prison not a gift and I'm fucking pissed, I reject the notion I'm privileged or blessed, I get absolutely no credit compensation compassion or respect, especially my boundary lines, I'm expected to compromisingly change all the time, cuz u can't teach an old dog new tricks, I find boomers to be hoardish and extremely toxic, they've left nothing but a hot mess, while us cuspy gen x are completely inept and set up for failure instead of success!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/23/23

Oohs Awws & Wows

I don't condone, dogging imposter syndrome, I understand the pressure, embracing being a gay man I can't help but feel lesser, went from being a percieved prince charming to king, the day my dad stopped living, the queen is still alive so she rules the castle, trying to make it as a successful white poet rapper's a major hastle, if we had a black president and Kamala as VP now, what I wonder is how, haven't we had someone like me conquer the hip hop scene, is it cuz I don't come from poverty, I also didn't have a silver spoon, neither girls nor guys look at me and swoon, since I'm simply superficially an average Joe, when in reality a tragic maverick homo bro, tho I wasnt yanked out the closet, there's no trophy that goes to which letter has it the hardest, it's been a long hard road of self discovery, nothing came easy or suddenly, I had to abandon all I ever knew, stopping the hamster wheel insanity and try something completely new, pivot from being an introverted wallflower, to finding my voice identity and power, thru trial and error with lots of failure, music was always my one and only savior, but don't get it twisted I struggle with hope and faith, I'm insecure at times often lacking the patience to wait, submissive but have trouble surrendering, much too raw real and genuine, to pretend I'm something else, building bridges and planting roots helps, I'm finally learning to use my wings, while fine tuning my confidence to proudly loudly rap and sing when live performing, I've elevated and evolved, way past the chance of boos to just oohs awws and wows! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/12/23

A Literary Ho Who Wrote

I'm a literary ho, my kids are the poems and songs I wrote, been doin it since June 2008, never intended to be one of the epically greats, perhaps it was always my destined fate, maybe I'm from outer space, just don't radiate gaylien, I'll never understand discriminating shaming, but better believe they are showing u who they really are, trauma can permanently leave scars, why do I spar so hard, pretty good playing the hand dealt in cards, since wicked resilient and adaptable, I find Rhode Island uninhabitable, the home I'd known, I had outgrown and desired to roam, and now I feel that way about the whole country, I'm so sick and tired of everyone being so damn cunty, especially politically, which is hypocritically silly, it's all childish behavior, who's gonna be our savior, we can't take a repeat election, seems both these men can't complete an erection, cuz they're too old, I boo polls, they're generally inaccurate, most candidates are simply inadequate, we need someone to rise up, unless the time's come to decree bye bye luck!

Try Try Try Til I Die

If u think saying I'm a cancer survivor, makes me a liar, I lost my big sis right when she turned 42, and basically a piece of me died too, just a couple years after dad, but if u think that's tragically drastically sad, I lost my friend and childhood neighbor, 3 super short days later, plus the fact he was there with me when she passed was rad/major, since I'm such a consciousness elevator, I often wonder what'll happen when I meet my maker, cuz I'm pissed the fuck off, yes...let's talk about tough love, when is enough enough, that's way too rough and tough, once moms gone I'll have no more immediate blood, technically an orphan, left to spend eternity suffering in solitude mourning, without warning spawned feeling torn, wicked privelaged and blessed yet scorned, often regret even being born, gratitude's another platitude each and every single god damn dawn, like Pac tho "still I rise", so much resilience all I know is try try try til I die!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/8/23

Insight To Unite & Light A Peace Pipe

Seeing Pink and Pat was absolutely incredible, both their live performance skills are quite commendable, then we had a guys night down at Bonnet, it's already the 6th and I haven't written one August sonnet, getting back to living again, really narrowed my circle of fam fans and friends, actually drawing boundary lines, learning somehow to pay attention to divine signs, seizing opportunity left and right, deciphering which battles to pick and fight, what's worth my time and energy, I'm very genuine with plenty of character soul and integrity, constantly striving to achieve a better me, life is ultimately deadly, that's facts, y'all spaz to the max, esp at an openly gay white rap dude who spews truth, like I lyrically juice, when in reality I've been blessed with wings and roots, ur legacy's defined by what u choose, since most don't or won't take action, lacking any purpose or passion, seems we've lost all motivation and hope, only empathetic to the anti woke, idolizing cheating the system, money's just a funny illusion but got us imprisoned, enslaved til graved, it's cool to discriminate and hate, these days brings those folks together, easily conquered once divided and untethered, afterall we need each other, we're all metaphorically sisters and brothers, so why can't we get along, jam out sing and dance to a good song, and by the way it ain't wrong, to do what Cypress Hill states and take "rips from the bong", maybe if we light a collective peace pipe, it might help insight the whole globe to unite!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/6/23

Take It Easy Demeaningly Appeasing Me

Gotta just grin and bear it, mama isn't ever gonna hear shit, no disrespect, I get she's trying to overprotect, I'll never understand, like women can't man, and vice versa, stop arguing who's worser, it ain't a word, I'm a terrible flirt, I'm too naive, with a deep need to people please, I don't mingle sexually socially, I'd rather not date locally, I vibe better with the west coast, I'm not above reproach, since I tell it like it is, that is my business, and believe me it's work, I'd give my shirt, in the blink of an eye, without having to ask why, if I can I will help, had to learn how to ask and accept it myself, I am my mother's son, after all is said and done, for good and bad, avoiding resentment bitterness or getting mad, learning to give grace, letting go of jealousy grief and hate, moving on seems impossibly hard to rough, sick and tired of nothing but tough love, I could use a lil light peaceful and easy, taken seriously instead of y'all simply demeaningly appeasing me, I have more than proved I'm worthy, and will no longer allow anybody's lack of faith in my fate hurt me

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/29/23

Can't Control Growth

We are collectively distracted and misguided, why do the powerful act like they don't always try to hide shit, but the truth eventually comes out, some day way or how about now, cuz I'm exhausted and drained, too much overstimulation to our brains, I'm not yay or nay I simply remain open, just cuz I disagree doesn't mean anti is what's been chosen, it's ultimately my decision, to listen to criticism and dissenting opinion, rejection helps develop thick skin, everyone wants wish fulfillment, especially winning the lottery, but what really bothers me, is this rampant privilege mixed with entitlement, our education system doesn't teach us the ability to reach or achieve enlightenment, it's more repetitious memorization passing standardized tests, creating a generation of unempathetic robotic soldiers who slave away to pay debts, education like health care should be free or at least cheap, same as it is in other first world countries, capitalism is out of control, effecting the globe as a whole, there can't be endless exponential growth, what if money and religion are a hoax, UFOs are no joke, marijuana is way better than tobacco to toke/smoke, prove me wrong, if u don't like mine write and perform ur own damn poems and songs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/27/23

Warning What's Important

Am I important, why don't some people come with a warning, I'm so tired, of fakes and liars, the sheer amount of ignorance, does asexual mean impotence, maybe I'm lesser than, as an openly homosexual man, whether black or white, finding true love's a fight, can't stand digital, why's everybody hypocritical, super judgmental, the lack of empathy is rather incredible, we've lost our way, sold our souls to become numb and enslaved, it's all about capital, money's funny and quite unnatural, making earth uninhabitable, the truth is no longer factual/actual, seems to be nothing but illusion, theres mass confusion, boomers been just hustling and hoarding, while we keep round of applauding, substanceless celebrities without talent or skill, ur like Pink sings "a pill and instead of making me better ur making me ill", why can't y'all MAGA chill the fuck out, the left can't figure how to bout, what a stalemate of a conundrum pickle, sheeple are inherently evil and fickle, we're supposed to be in this together, but no amount of hope will magically make things get better, good must pesevere and win again, in order for this fascist regime's reign of divisive fear to finally end!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/24/23

Overwhelmed At The Helm

I am so overwhelmed, tho I'm at the helm, I'm not the pilot steering the ship, I come across as handling it, but it's alot, my mom's all I got, too much responsibility and pressure, I feel completely tethered, living her life, suffocating my own light, and I'm getting panicked, gimme a massage that's tantric, I need release, why can't I peep please me, give myself the help of grace, I miss the bliss of being awed and amazed, where did all the inspiration go, artists giving dissertations choke, what they say lacks substance, instead of average or median focus on a human's circumference, not just one moment, if u make a mistake own it, isn't there any accountability, u can slip in and inject wisdom into comedy being sarcastically witty, since truth is often said in jest, does mama or papa know best, I miss my big sis, and if I had one wish, it would be to trade places, I wasnt dealt pocket aces, so I can't make magic happen, while ur asking laughing, as I share my dreams, of selling out stadiums after winning Grammys, who defines what's possible vs probable, keep wondering if my destiny's unstoppable, can we change our fate, or is having free will fake?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/18/23

Why I Try To Still Spill

Making a mistake doesn't mean ur a bad person, just cuz u say sorry won't erase others hurting, actions have consequences still, internalized emotions eventually spill, relationships overextended, the weight on ur shoulders never intended, it's super strange, one day u look up already changed, seems fast but so slow, u can't possibly see or know, til it's hindsight, tough to find light, when we're lost in shadows, who knew existence was so shallow, all about money, too hard to discover some funny, instead of numbing or a distraction, imagine real life closed caption, like they do for theater, been both a ring and paul bearer, a true blue double Gemini, struggling interpreting four sides, none of which are successful, the music may be incredible, yet at the end of the day, nobody wants to lift up a gay, I'm not gonna lie, don't know why I even bother to try, but deep in my gut nothing shakes, my neverending story of glory due to unwavering hope and faith!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/17/23

Lightening's Sarcastically Striking

I love sarcasm and wit, is jealousy or shame harder to admit, sometimes I need a lil help, to figure out myself, that's one of the major reasons I write, it highlights the spite, buried deep within, what happens if no next of kin, where's the wealth go, I swear the government is nothing but a hoe, and they don't even have to put out, nor pay the price for the collective bout of gout, kings disease is running rampant, I just can't understand it, when did we become so numb dumb and spoiled, our brains aren't scrambled they're hard boiled, focused on all the wrong things, if we don't make drastic changes none of us wins, why haven't we gone green, fuck nature everybody's glued to some screen, seems now we're only living to work, failing flailing awaiting the end of this inflation spurt, life's gotten so expensive, I wanna scream at god every single expletive, how can he/she do this to us, to those who they supposedly love, enough with rough and tough, it's time my cup gets filled the fuck up, success is almost like a lightening strike, yet I've seen it happen even more than twice or thrice, it ain't right, but it's still quite the fight to be a serious rapper who's openly gay and white!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/13/23

Some Serious Lyrics

We all need a hydration break, somehow change our political fate, inflation sucks, financially we're just fucked, I mean there's no substance or value for ur dollar, most going broke as heavily indebted scholars, forever a slave, with an astronomical amount u can never repay, the capitalism system's simply broken, they've even bastardized being awoken, when I'm all about spreading consciousness, I can't stand this hypocritical ignorant obnoxiousness, almost too much to bare, I really wonder if love gets trumped by fear, the corrupt run amok, it feels like there's no light hope or luck, idolizing lying and cheating, demeaning my deep empathetic feeling as a gay weakling, when that's a presumptuous assumption, I got guts cohonez and gumption, my sexuality has no bearing, nor should what I'm wearing, pay attention to my lyrics, I take my poetry and hip hop very serious, it's my ultimate purpose passion/mission, dropping and spitting some truly transcendent knowledge and wisdom!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/12/23

Stranger Danger: A Justified Lie

Can a lie ever be justified, for years I tried to hide, my inner true nature, don't u too assume they're gonna hate ya, and u can't see the shame, love isn't some shady game, it's the point to life, I'm annoyed by the strife and plight, that comes with being openly gay, just cuz I ain't straight, doesn't mean I fit in, how do I trust when submitting, I'm not subservient to strangers, I've learned the dangers, but I'm still single, tired of the superficial digital mingle, it doesn't work, most boast gloat and flirt, or ignore u completely, so I linger alone and bored defeatedtly, without a gaggle, a humble chameleon as I travel, molding myself to blend, mind numbingly bent again, always in survival mode, warm arrivals turned cold, so I'm ostracized and neglected, once mom goes I won't feel protected, all my immediate family'll be gone, being an orphan's wrong, at any age, embittered with rage, when it's simply I'm hurt, guess now's the perfect time to put me first!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/9/23

Damn Man Can I Spit

All that scruff, got em jelly as fuck, I like a juicy butt, and don't mind a daddy gut, perfection is in the eye of the beholder, I'm like a fine wine that gets better as I grow older, won't hide the grays, I have both good and bad days, I share it all, the rises and falls, I may not be tall, but I def ain't small, a grower not a shower, in my wallet ull find a few 4 leaf clovers, I need all the luck I can get, is it gambling if I'm a sure bet, u can count on me thin or thick, may not be the best singer but damn man can I spit, I'm salty if u want a lick, my insecurities and shame are hard to admit, but I'm human too, I won't be a ruined fool, just cuz I have fetishes and kinks, having blemishes stinks, like my pits and feet, imagine if life had a button to delete, mistakes are crucial, and tho failure is brutal, it's also beautifully inspiring, do y'all think god and destiny are colluding and conspiring, to fuck us over, why do I always feel the need to look over my shoulder, since I'm consumed by distrust, y'all suck at love cuz it's only lust, another notch on ur belt, thought the distraction would help, yet it didn't, now that there's no mutual respect we are finished!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/9/23

I Always Side With Mariah

Yesterday I shaved, both my head and face, cuz I needed a change I could control, life lately has affected my soul, everywhere I go I feel heavy, I'm more than "a lil unsteady", but don't bet me I'll give up or fail, my plans may be derailed, yet I'm consistently persistent, extremely resilient, I don't know how, Joss says "the time is always now", the future blew my mind, it's hard to kiss the past goodbye, since it's not tangible, I know I often tangently ramble, artistic success isn't something I gamble it's a sure thing, can y'all even see the happiness that when I rap and sing brings, it's sheer pure joy, my vulnerability and empathy aren't a ploy, it's utterly genuine, I'm a brotherly gentleman, stoic and chivalrous, refuse to be consumed by jealousy or bitterness, cuz I'm simply grateful, I won't feed into being hateful, altho I believe nothing's just or fair, power isn't achieved thru fear, that's a fool's tool, when in doubt I always side with Mariah that "a hero lies in u"!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/6/23

My Bent 2 Cents

I'm not most people's choice, altho many have said they love my voice, that's when love just ain't enough, rejection sucks and it's tough, to get thru, it permeates u, bruises the ego's self esteem, I hate when y'all laugh at my dreams, of Grammys and selling out stadiums, maybe I sprained my brain or its cranium, bumped the noggin one too many times, I'm bad at seeing signs/reading between the lines, often oblivious and gullible, a whole lotta innocent fun trouble, like Cartman I do what I want, stay humble and don't flaunt, simply gimme weed music or movies, my fantasies don't include vajajas or boobies, so no negative Nancy Debbie downer chatty Cathys or Suzie 2 cents, to all the jealous haters out there who fear the queers trying to persevere...get bent, I'm a genuine gentlemanly good gay guys guy, if my sexuality matters so much ask urself why, I'm hurting absolutely no one, we should be more concerned with discrimination corruption and guns, distracted by the dumbest inane things, that in the end nobody wins, especially the real needy, yet we keep lining pockets of the extremely greedy, I bequeath voting is beneath me cuz the popular don't matter, existentially elevating the collective consciousness thru hip hop/R.A.P's what I'm actually after!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
625/23

Who Decides Spotlight's Shined Time

I really hope someday, I'll find my way, to love happy and peace, I'm sick of resilience to hurt pain and grief, I've reached my limits, I believe god is a gimmick, used to control the masses, I'm done with religious political hypocritical asses, where's the separation of church and state, capitalism perpetuates evil jealousy greed and hate, I've simply had enough, feeling pressured and pushed to give up, but I've got too much faith and light, a ton of passion guts and fight, I forget how far I've actually already gotten thru, still feel this deep seeded need to please validate and prove, tho I understand it's not my time, who decides when and where the spotlight's shined, cuz these celebrities nowadays with platforms suck, they lack any substance and are talentless as fuck!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/24/23

Epically Legandary Legacy

Who knows, with tragedy empathy grows, I didn't think I could hold on any longer, then I heard Kelly sing "what doesn't kill u makes u stronger", I can totally relate, death is our collective fate, with no exceptions, all politics includes deception, both sides, are wings making the bald eagle fly, or of the same coin, the level of divisiveness is annoying, democracy's better, when we're working together, but rationality's endangered if not extinct, digital is erasing human footprints, like waves zambonying the sand, common sense and accountability are in high demand, life feels like the twilight zone, text does not highlight tone, in fact it's often misunderstood, wish they'd stop feeding fear and bastardizing good, why's it so profitable and fun to be bad, the corrupt are having a power grab, but I'm thankful for my angels, anyone else strapped for cash financially strangled, inflation and profits are out of control, there's not enough money hunny to buy my soul tho, what's ur ultimate goal/legacy, fuck fortune and fame as long my music and poetry are epically legendary!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/23/23

Bitter Pill Of Ill Will

I can't take anymore of this, if I had just one wish, it would be, for my mom to find peace, then maybe I've got a shot, this hurts alot, worse than dying, I'd be lying, if I didn't say, it's way better off not to be gay, maybe I'd have someone to rely on, I can't give grace and let bygones, I'm wicked fucking angry, y'all must really hate me, cuz ur all talk and no follow thru, I'm becoming a numb hollow fool, I'm so disgusted, an inactive volcano that suddenly erupted, spewing venom instead of lava, I only exist cuz I gotta, living is sheer torture, I wanna roll up a quarter, smoke it to the face, hoping it'll somehow simply erase, this never ending aching pain, all this waiting's driving me insane, their worry like friction, can anxiety be addicting, swallowing that bitter pill losing my will, like Pink sings "instead of making me better ur making me ill"!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/21/23

Unapologetically Fallibly Flawed

Call me petty, consumed with jealousy, hypocritical too, a pot addicted fool, angry at the world, tired of gay equating girl, I wanna give up, on success and love, cuz I keep getting let down, perhaps I'm not fun to be around, maybe I'm ugly inside and out, my soul rotted from gout, u know kings disease, I don't wanna be resilient anymore or people please, isn't it time to move onto the next phase, finally find my happy place, this east coast vibe, won't allow me to thrive, I'm suffocating and drowning, y'all committed yet clowning, still looking for something better, get ur fucking shit together, miss me when I'm dead, not while I'm living and breathing instead, I'm sick of over procrastination, a lack of attention support applause or even a simple congratulations, keep being neglected dismissed and ignored, sorry not sorry I'm unapologetically fallibly flawed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/20/23

Why's Only Divine Sublime

Shot down yet again, questioning if we're even friends, I gotta really just walk away, I definitely feel cursed being gay, y'all don't know how to accept love, u make a brother feel not good enough, like simply making room, reflects the effort u exude, that shits whack, expecting I can magically give u the confidence u lack, altho I relentlessly try, I'm too much of a nice guy, giving limitless grace, which is such a waste, when I should've given more to myself, I see why the rich don't share or spread their wealth, I've never received a hand out, when it's demanded I bout, super consistent, got reverse gaydar intuition, picking the straights, who are these keepers of the gates, they're next in line behind God, y'all about to get curb stomped hard, pissed me right tf off, go ahead laugh at me and scoff, but it's finally my time to shine, cuz I'm tired of only the divine experiencing sublime!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/19/23

Timeless Existential Friction Addiction

The relentless struggles uve gone thru, I mourn too, I was so blessed for the family I was born into, I'm simply amazed by u, what a soldier and a warrior, always rooting more and more for ya, ur reletenless kind givingness and grace, even tho we all share the same fate, we get dead, there is no instead, ur spirit lives on, but ur memory/legacy is never truly gone, cuz ur timeless like friction, an existential addiction, asking myself how did u do all that, ur such a badass, made it look easy peasy, but believe u me, it's far from ideal, fame didn't have any appeal, yet the amount of lives u touched, when I think of u it's nothing but unconditional love, u have so many friends fam and fans, ur presence is in divinely sky high demand, we're all collectively rooting for u and praying, we'll all be ok knowing uve got dad g and a ton of loved ones awaiting, party it up with them, and I promise to live life to the fullest til we meet again!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/15/23

Would & Should Do Good

Dear mom, I hope u read this before ur gone, u are simply the best, never loved me less, despite my anger or flaws, u deserve the biggest round of applause, ur wicked amazing, all those hours reading essays and grading, u gave so many students inspiration, from this moment on I won't stay stagnant nor complacent, I will follow my heart with the utmost passion, finally start taking some action, to find more joy fulfillment and genuine connection, u can let go now of ur overprotection, that's like saying stop worrying it's impossible, I honor u by remaining giving graceful grateful and hospitable, when ur at peace I can be too, since like dad and g I'll always have u, I solemnly vow I'll be alright, because y'all raised me right to will and fight, for the forces of good, remembering to do what they would and u know u should!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/14/23

I Believe Love Is A Mustard Seed

So jealous I'm not a part of his every minute, I don't think our story is finished, I want him to bother me for the rest of my life, fuck all these ideas of what is wrong or right, I miss him every night, I'm totally willing to be both patient and fight, I hope one day he comes around, make my world beautifully profound, but since time like tomorrow isn't guaranteed, I find myself completely willing to beg and plead, I'll even get down on one knee, if this poem is a mustard seed, and u begin to feel exactly like me, I'll forever hold hope and belief, one day we will have each other, I'll even try not to snore and hog the covers, but if by chance I'm not the one, I won't regret or resent cuz the adventure together has been fun.

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/13/23

A Light In My Life

Boy has life been hard lately, fear and anxiety amplified greatly, but no matter what, deep within my gut, lies the grace, to wait with faith, easier said than done, god do I miss the bliss when I found joy and fun, somewhere in the darkness I find light, he's one of the reasons I have the strength to fight, tho we are just friends, there's no depends, he's loyal, doesn't even see he's majestic and royal, plays humble and modest, if I'm being gutwretchingly honest, I think he is one of those living angels, he's not glitzy and fangled, anyway I just wanted to give a lil thanks and praise, without saying his name I'll love him til the end of days!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/12/23

Can We Reach Perfection's Utopian Bliss

Taking a break, meant time to isolate, I owed it to myself, I needed help, but I'm stronger than I thought I was, didn't wanna get so stoned and numbed, instead I refocused my energy, on my 2 pups and a better me, then let go of all the rest, stayed grateful and consciously blessed, even tho the humble, still fumble and tumble, it's resilience training, is life just a game we're playing, except there's no Contra cheat code for infinite lives, hard to remember but u and I are who ultimately decides, despite believing in a higher power, can anyone really premonition another's final day or hour, can fate or destiny and free will coexist, can we truly ever reach perfection's utopian bliss?!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/10/23

Actual Reality's Virtually Misunderstood

Today gave me a lil hope, tho the future is unknown, I feel like things might get better, can't believe the storms I've weathered, damn man, even when I didn't think I can, I did, don't wanna just live, it's time to start thriving, somehow I'm resilient and still striving, where does determination come from, honestly I'm stunned, like Whitney I didn't know my own strength, apparentlty I'll go to any lengths, when I put my mind to something, I can be quite stubborn, is that inherited, or simply embedded, in the fabric of humanity, like calamity, or is it developed unnaturally, is anybody truly happy, or are we all faking, my heart's aching, the next generation needs to take power, boomers are approaching their final hour, but are we equipped enough, cuz the corrupt run amok and it sucks, they're resource hoarding, ignoring my warning mourning's important, stop bastardizing good, AI has made it so actual reality is virtually misunderstood, aging backwards Benjamin Button style, while the pendulum is swinging wild, society's coming full circle, like a hamster wheel of neverending hurdles, both science and faith fail history, universal truths so outdated our origin story is a mystery, are u on the side of egg first or chicken, people play god so gender's now a decision, can even transform into pigs and pups on all fours, choosing to ignore divine law, ironically lacking pride, there's a huge distinction between dressing as expression vs a disguise!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/31/23

Change Is Strange

Today was a wakeup call, mom had a fall, on the floor for hours, I surrender to my higher power, I need help myself, no amount of wealth, can fix the problems, I just wanna solve em, this darkness never ends, I don't even wanna get mind numbingly bent, I pray she's ok, and lives at least another year or 2 from today, I'm not ready to let her go, that's beyond my control tho, I hope I can find my inner strength and faith, it ain't living if I wait, and may seem strange, but I think it's finally time to change!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/29/23

No Unity In The LGBTQ Community

Today I spent the day in bed, if u couldn't tell from my poem yesterday I'm depressed, no pride alive, years fly by, yet no respect earned, I've come to learn, there ain't any unity, in this hetero induced LGBTQ community, definitely no love lost, how much does a fuck cost, or perhaps ur character/soul, what is the ultimate goal, mine used to be music, but the industry is corrupt and abusive, this life isn't for me, perhaps hip hop success is just not meant to be, so take me home already, leaving me alone's deadly, I can't even remember happy, seems I must be nasty, and not the good kind, our moral compasses aren't aligned, hope my next statement is digestible, from this point forward consider me asexual!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/28/23

Excluded Yet Again

What if I was gone, would y'all even mourn, I'm alive and barely thought of, yearning for more love, or maybe I just need sex, still wondering if gay equals hexed, I'm tired being hired, to be abused then fired, when it's time for a raise, wish being genuinely authentic with raw talent paid, y'all think famous musicians are rich, digital is such a bitch, it devalued original artists, who be working the hardest, but get absolutely no where, like yall don't even care, ud rather support straights and drag, excluding me from my community is making me mad, I've had enough of this dismissal, life seems so abysmal, my dad and sister are the lucky ones, sometimes I really wanna give up and just be done!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/27/23

Time For A Reroaring Renaissance & Let's Rise

Just turned 41, and life's starting to get real fun, altho Tina Turner died, I'm still joyously grateful about to celebrate Pride, I've worked hard to get here, conquered so much hate and fear, I'm rather quite surprised, I wish my sister was still alive, this year hit different, time sure flies by in an instant, hope y'all will celebrate with me, my genuine authenticity, I'm definitely not perfect, but all LGBTQ+ are worth it, unconditional love, let's have a reroaring renaissance and rise the fuck up!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/25/23

Invisibly Devalued

The question lately I've been asking, should I go back to school for music production and/or broadcasting, do I also dare, maybe minor in theater, or just self teach myself, can anybody out there please help, I'm yearning for some direction or guidance, all I've gotten is a shitton of "denied" agains, nothing is meant for me, which I refuse agreeing to disagree, my wants the horizon line, while I'm hiding behind lying I'm fine, when obviously not, it actually bothers me quite alot, I mean when's mine, what about my time, tired of internalizing whining, cuz I'm too serious and heavy, quietly procrastinating instead regrettably inevitably, so y'all are ignorantly unprepared, ur deeds show me nobody cares, so I'm left feeling invisibly devalued, only tolerated cuz y'all have to!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/16/23

MJV 143

Thru all the ups and downs in life, whether wrong or right, u were always by my side, after dad and G died, uve become my whole world now, I don't know when or how, but I'm determined to make u proud, I'll write it down then say it out loud, uve guided my faith, helped me find my way, all I ever hope and pray, is that u know I'm so grateful to be ur son not just today but each and every single mothers day!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/14/23

Good's Misunderstood

Why do I feel the need to justify my resilience and strength, I def spent alot of time bent, how else can I quiet my brain, numb the heartache and pain, life's just hard, how u play God's cards, often fatalistic or narcissistic, fallibility and hypocrisy are intrinsic, again the pendulum swings, u can't have roots and wings, well I do, and flew too, but now everything's changed, the world's overrun by capitalistic zombies with soul sucking fangs, where did genuine authenticity go, boy has religious ignorance and complicity grown, I mean slavery still exists, prejudice and discrimination continues to persist, yet nobody's paying attention, in reflection everybody's deflecting or projecting, energy friction, I have a human interaction addiction, especially since covid, our recovery has been very unfocused, we keep losing sight of what's important, sick of all the baiting exploiting and escorting, they've bastardized good, to the point words like truth sex and love are completely misunderstood!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/5/23

Here I Come Til I've Won At Least One Hun

What u hear and read is what see with  me...especially live which is where I thrive and MCJC comes alive...ready to grind and shine...everything happens in its time...I ain't lying...nas on point with life's a bitch and then u ya die that's why we get high...never know when ya gonna go...which blows even mo' fo' sho'...focus on the positive and let nothing stop us...double Gemini with quadruple sides egos and prides...very revolutionary with plenty of integrity embedded buried beneath deep...finally screaming out loud and proud about to bout...but now y'all pout cuz I'm not fowl mouthed...my brands on point and enjoying ur so bothered/annoyed...it's apparent I've got massive raw talent there's no comparison...just starting to gain traction taking action...our months coming up when it's all just spreading gay love with lots of kisses and hugs...don't judge shrug or begrudge all religiously smug...like the Fugees ready or not here I come for fun son...I'm never done til at least one Grammy's been won hun!!!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/3/23

Not Perfect But Totally Worth It

I woke up feeling imperative, my last poem shouldn't be negative, what can I say, I had a bad day, but I won't let that define me, is treating with love kindly or blindly, like Leona I just wanna be happy, lately life seems so crappy, how do I motivate joy, is god just a ploy, where are u it's me Joe, did u already go, am I being carried, our footprints married, cuz I only see one set, is faith a safe bet, so many questions, simply don't feel the blessings, why all the grief, stop testing my belief, when's enough, I know I'm tough, but isn't there more to existence, then fallibility and resilience, what about success, do I have to love less, since no one can have it all, must've missed my call, and u didn't leave a message, u take no responsibility for the wreckage, maybe I just won't listen, trying to give myself permission, I'm not perfect, but damnit if I'm not totally worth it!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/2/23

Final Goodbye Time

Yet another day...afraid I'm fading away...out of sight then mind...too bad it doesn't pay to be kind...do I even matter at all...why do I continue to text and call...making room isn't a real effort...never thought I measured...cuz ur more words not deeds...ur actions don't match beliefs preached...too much grace to push back...it's self love I lack...keep letting u in again...when I don't wanna be just friends...so I think it's finally time...I cut the chord and say goodbye...maybe we're not meant to be...or it's probably me...I'm not enough...rejections tough...yet it hasn't killed...perhaps it's unreasonable to expect success happiness and being fulfilled...how dare I dream that big...stop living to work when y'all should only work to better live...I give what I get...but I'm frustrated irritated and upset...guess I chose wrong...no labels like my songs...I so wanna give up...life just sucks and I'm tired of getting fucked!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/30/23

Puff A Phatty Happy 4/20

Come puff another phatty, with rap's leather daddy, holla for a dolla at me, if u wanna get zooted nasty, gotta get ur heads out those phones, chill out and smoke, toke a bowl, y'all know I stay stoned, life's just better that way, helps me mentally escape, socially relax, that's facts, cuz I'm overwhelmed by sheeple, who think pots evil and lethal enough to be illegal, which is simply silly, what about medicinal responsibility, y'all advocate for cigs and booze, blindly eat toxic foods, I'll never understand, it's cool if ur not a fan, but damn man, it's a fucking plant, what's the big deal, like for real, pay me in pot instead of money, hope everyone has a fun safe and happy 4/20!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/20/23

All Love Truth & Peace

Intense isn't my intent...that's why I stay bent...as a Gemini I only know extremes...I'm that classic example of beeing seen for what it seems...when I'm somewhere deep in the inbetween...my aura usually sheens purple or green...I severely struggle agreeing to disagree...especially about something I passionately believe...expert defenseman can accept defeat over retreat...I'm aware of certain privelage but much too humble to be elite...with me it's ultimately all love truth and peace!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/15/23

Don't Ever Ever Ever Give Up

Coming to terms with my relationship being just friends, I guess it's true everything that begins ends, the feelings aren't dead, perhaps they were misread in my head, but he was such a great idea, not sure if it's his insecurity and fear, or what I did wrong, life solo seems so long, am I simply not enough, cursed with bad luck, fuck sex I miss intimacy and romance, wish I could keep replaying our new years slow dance, that was such a beautiful moment, keep ur heart open to fall in love often I condone it, express to people how u feel, telling others instead isn't keeping it real, leave ur baggage with the past, it'll destroy ur future fast, time to let him go, battle this miserable existence alone, maybe someday he will come back around, afterall absence can be pretty profound, he was such a surprising rare find, unconditionally kind, still tho gotta show myself more love, and no matter what don't ever ever ever give up!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/13/23

Spread Consciousness & Existentialism

The leather rap daddy, that's a better mac zaddy, actually practically factually masterfully dastardly, in all actuality nastily sassy classy crafty, pretty wickedly witty deep in the nitty gritty, bigotry's hypocritically synchronicity with illiteracy embitters me, this is some serious shit not silly/willy nilly, my ultimate passion and purpose, we grow more from what hurts us, like tragedy and grief, can't take away my peace or belief, endless tremendous hope and faith, marijuana and music's how I cope and get saved, divine amazing grace, my greatness is fated but I don't set the pace, we can't be late, cuz life ain't a race, enjoy the ride with pride, do ur best so u can hold ur head up high and sleep at night, with age comes wisdom, all I wanna do is continue to spread consciousness and existentialism!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/11/23

Souls Collectively Connecting

Not great at listening I'm very self involved, not communicating won't help getting problems solved, however I'm not very critical, more super sarcastic than literal, but I take life very seriously, instead of hilariously, I promise I have a dry sense of humor, not interested in gossip or rumor, been trying to leave space for grace, my whole existence I bloomed late, except when it comes to death, which left me overwhelmed feeling inept, just not sustainable enough, no luck with romantic love, always lost alone stuck, questioning my gut, aww shucks it sucks seeing a shmuck putz, staring back in the mirror, therapy may help u navigate clearer, still u gotta implement the learned tools, stop insisting ur a powerless victim u fools, take responsibility and control, no ones half of a whole, marriage isn't necessarily the goal, I dream of collective connection with other beautiful souls!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/4/23

Classically Sacastically Sassy

People say fake it til u make it, how bout face it and create from it, yet another lesson that probably won't get learned, money hunny is all that's yearned, why haven't I earned opportunity or respect, let me help conscious hip hop resurrect, fuck the thrill wisdoms gone, I always felt in me Tupac was reborn, just like him I'm not a thug, I'm gay and still show women mad love, lifting the whole LGBTQ community up, cuz im tough enough, yet still humble vulnerable and soft, my privileged soul can't be bought, call me Harry Potter, that's facts I'm smarter and work harder, I've looked like Joni from both sides, to be me I ain't gotta put on a disguise, I'm not naturally flashy, promiscuously slutty/trashy, rather classically sarcastically sassy, white so I don't have to fight ashy, got a question just ask me, but lastly actually all that matters b, is that we do our best to be happy!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/31/23

Already Won Hunny Bun

This is me starting from scratch, perhaps I'm trapped in an egg that hasn't hatched, that's me tho, such a late bloomer bro, like literally, it sounds silly, but I'm still waiting for my life to start, I think he snatched my heart, he's such an inspiration, hoping there will be more integration, blending our lives together, making each other better, I feel I'm being lifted up, he gives the best kisses and hugs, I'm so nervous I'm just not enough, always had such tough luck, but then again, we are still working on being friends, that's ok, he's not overtly gay, I like that, says he's got my back, gets me outta my head, now that my dad and sister are dead, I'm anxious to create a family, using what was handed to me, cuz after mom goes, it's just Joe, and that's so weird to think, like I was born then blinked, now I'm 40, navigating awkwardly, seems I'm just beginning, I hope my mom sees me winning, altho I may have already won, with my boo thang/hunny bun, at times I feel under the gun, often shunned, since I don't fit a certain image, refuse to use gimmicks, I'm too genuine and honest, to a fault humble and modest, yet authentic and real, never needed to seal a deal, with a ring, will I ever hear him sing, I've heard stories, I wanna see him in all his glory, truly happy, radiating his amazing smile at me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/29/23

Enlightening Writing Is Fighting

I keep refinding that writing, is retrospectively therapeutic yet enlightening, it's rather frightening, how it's become my revolutionary fighting, there's nobody else doing what I'm doing, building bridges musically pursuing, using my privelage as a platform, against the rap norm, not another stereotypical presumption, there's no responsibility for wasteful consumption, I'm satire personified, not a con nor lie, the real deal, reiterating to people my shpeel, I'm a gay white rapper singer songwriter poet, R.A.P. is an acronym if u didnt know it, got a ton of heart and soul, but the business hustle and struggle takes a toll, I'm still a starving artist, working the hardest, waiting on some accolades and flowers, hated on by ignorant jealous cowards, who can't walk their talk, just gawk and stalk, all squawk, surrounded by lots of sharks snakes and hawks, but that's alright, cuz y'all won't ever dim my bright light!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/17/23

Leave Room For Love Grace & Gratitude

Please don't be scared, know that I'm always here, tho at times there's space between, I'll give grace indeed, u may not know how, to get up again when down, cuz depression is a father fucker, we all deserve a sarcastic laughter lover, or a round of applause, as u walk in the door, transform gloom with smiling swoon, news shouldn't be allowed to spew fear lies or doom, let's get money out of it too, stop electing ignorant incapable fools, love is universal, but in life ain't no rehearsal, so choices matter, we're all battered torn and tattered, growing old is privelage, cuz u outlive shit, still we all need support, wondering will I be blessed with a cohort, to walk with me, even if at times awkwardly, over plenty peaks and valleys, I just wanna be part of his happy, bring some sustainability and peace, come back to the table instead of retreat, isolation isn't good, silence gets misunderstood, it's ok to show suffering thru tears, we're so focused on fears, there's simply no room, to find any gratitude, yet ur essence radiates light, probably too humbly unaware of ur powerful might to fight for what's right, ur one of the great guys, don't even need make up or a disguise, genuinely authentic and pure, in a shallow materialistic heteronormative white world he is my cure!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/16/23

Late Bloomer US Boomers All Kings Diseasy

Most men believe vulnerability means ur weak, speak on the bleak not just happy, live in ur truth uncensored, y'all social medially indentured, showing only the highlight reel, instead of expressing how u really feel, good or bad, mad and sad, be exploitful, when ur joyful, but don't get caught up in illusion, forgive my intrusion, I'm always deep, sew yet don't reap, so not superficial, rude or hypocritical, especially intentionally, I'm multidimensionally me, an openly gay double Gemini, knowingly submissive but non effeminate guy, super emotional tho, totally a stoner hoe, only indica please, I'm minimalist chic not cheap, perhaps frugal, is wishing hip hop success futile, cuz my life would be in vain, that plight's strife's wracking my brain, humanity's stain, it's insanity shame's engrained in the pained, engraved in the hearts and souls of the enslaved, beholden to cave, taught and told to behave, just remain quiet, the rich and powerful disdain riots, knowledge is revolutionary, free education is evolutionary, the US are apparently late bloomers, the youth's doomed cuz baby boomers, who refuse to relinquish and share the wealth, they never took initiative to protect planetary health, colonization killed that initiative thru a trail of tears, nowadays the whole globe's controlled by fear, injustice running rampant, 1% comfortably glamping, all kings diseasy selfish and greedy, eradicating any welfare programs supporting the poor and needy, our government's disgusting, cutting and gutting, democracy at its core, capitalism's flawed wanting exponentially more, that's simply unsustainable, some stereotypes falsely identify/label, which just fucks love up, scarcity sucks, but we willingly hamster wheely rely on luck, to miraculously help get us unstuck!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/25/23

Why Not Give It All We Got

I love soul rnb pop rock and esp hip hop, but I'm at the point I need to get a day job, y'all don't crave enough to pay, not sure if it's cuz I'm too old white privileged or openly gay, or perhaps I'm to blame, getting in my own way, overwhelmed by concentrated grief, how do I maintain any hope faith or belief, even down on my knees, I'm not being heard or seen, like I'm not worthy of existence, my life's defined by my resilience/consistent persistence, am I close to done yet, with all that I've given when do I get, of course I'm upset I'm hurt, feel cursed since birth, just me and my mom, wondering can a sub become dom, gotta switch up tactics, instead of defensive get active, go after what I want, stay humble tho don't gloat or flaunt, help lift others up, spread lots of hugs and love, cuz we never know, if there's no tomorrow, enjoy each moment to the fullest, play this metaphorical game of life bullish, I mean why not, give it all we got!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/23/23

Fuck No Homo Stoner Bro Poets Allowed

Indecision becomes a prison, why isn't anybody listening, I'm responsible but don't make major decisions, in my opinion evil is ruling over our dominion, and good people are getting screwed, karma's confused, I'm tired of being used and abused, shooed and poo pooed by the lewd crude prude, I'm super insecure being publically nude, and I don't know why, I'm slightly bashful but not a shy guy, by any means, considered a pot fiend, cuz yeah I'm probably high, like 97% of the time, life's just better stoned, my hip hop craft has been fine tuned/honed, I'm at the point in my life, I'm hungry to fight, so watch out, I'm rap ready to bout, now that I've got some clout, fuck this no homo stoner bro poets allowed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/20/23

No Too Soon To Say I Love U

When's too soon, to say I love u, 3 days weeks or months, I don't say it tons, just moments I truly feel it, that real shit, but it doesn't need to be said in return, u learn the yearn, over a non specified period of time, without reason but in rhyme, there's different levels, it can completely destroy and deshevel, needs to be mourned and grieved, when it's complete, I mean where does the love go, when the relationship's done tho, seems to translate into hate, I wanna break that fate, at least remain friends, that type of connection never ends, fuck sex, and y'alls definition of success, I want peace, and to be happy, which he makes me, especially lately, not in a codependent way, but it ain't easy being gay, like my dad asked he lifts me up, washes my worries away with his big bear hugs, even when life gets rough and tough, I hope he knows he's just as unconditionally loved!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/14/23

Revolutionary Activism

Hip hop is revolutionary activism, but most ya'll ain't living or listening, music is supposed to be transcendent and enlightening, there's a big difference between freestyle battling and songwriting, esp since I'm only authentic and genuine, I'm much more of a humble gentleman, but that don't make me a nice chump finishing last, I don't feel the need to put others on blast, I'd rather self deprecate than appropriate, definitely ain't trying to perpetuate hate, but since I'm gay and white, best believe I'm here queer and ready to ignite that fight, to help love win, when will fun rebegin, I haven't had any since I was a kid, death and grief make it impossible to forgive, what's the point, if existence is just a Shakespearean tragedy I'm pissed off/annoyed, fairness and justice are fairytale fables, I'm always ready willing and able, to throw a R.A.P show on the spot, giving my whole heart and soul with all that I've got, to entertain y'all, while I navigate life's trustfall, knowing none of u will even try to catch me, does anyone else think about legacy, I'm still determined to make mine epic, probably seem crazy and eccentric, to think a faggot cracker rapper can succeed in the mainstream, selling out stadiums and winning Grammys, I don't care if u equally agree or believe, cuz only I can achieve my own dreams I conceive!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/6/23

A Boss Breaking Cycles

Still trying to figure out how to break cycles that are toxic, this hamster wheel shit is tired and obnoxious, I'm pissed at god, why does life gotta be this unfair and hard, like it's simply torture we survive, seems like ain't a chance in hell on earth I'll ever thrive, even as a masculine gay white dude, thinking I can make it in the rap game am I a fool, I'm confident in myself, but nobody makes it without help, half my family is dead and gone, wondering when I no longer have to mourn, mom's health is declining, and every day I awake I'm finding, more stress pressure and responsibility, I'm only human without any super hero abilities, isn't that common sense, perhaps these are all reasons I justify staying bent, I don't drink much smoke cigs or do hard drugs, cuz I'm all about love and spreading hugs, never feel like I'm enough, no easy street all roads are tough, that's why I live to serve, u get what u give is what I've learned, instead y'all give what u get, hurt people hurt people bet, my community is broken, I've tried to be a revolutionary example being outspoken, but I'm repeatedly dismissed, equal opportunity and support are my biggest wish, am I standing on that ledge alone, my reputation and character should not be defined by who I bone, I wear my heart not my sexuality on my sleeve, I have unwavering hope and faith u best believe, I'm determined to be seen and heard, I'll use both hip hop and spoken word, whatever gets my point across, remember to never ever underestimate a boss!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/2/23