Freakin Dark Evil Nightmares

Being a freakin gemini, RI peeps only seem to see my dark side, most certain I'm high, but I ain't got time, for ur judgments and insignificant opinion, someday I'll be tearfully grinning from winning, not just Grammys but seriously some scrooge-like stadium swimming, in a golden sea of dudes, mad cash gold and jewels, whether I succeed or lose, i won't tolerate media scrutiny or abuse, always will maintain my right to privacy, digital is legalized piracy, rapper/singer songwriting artists make only a small percentage of the money, I don't find lousy quality pop music funny, can't fathom how true talent is so undervalued and not appreciated, originality's been degraded and has faded, it's simply plain fucking sad, I'm all frustrated irate and mad, I'm generally a socialistic hippie passifist but I'm about to bout and kick some ass, I've repetedly graciously requested politely and nicely asked, definitely not gonna get on my knees, to mercifully beg nor plead, our economy's falling apart at the seams, no Dorothy this isn't a dream, that's right it's ur worst nightmare, all ur insecurities and fears, thrown at u at the exact same time, how often will u smile nod and say ur fine, before u collapse or admit ur an actual human being, I'm sick of men inherently inept when it comes to intimacy and effectively expressing vulnerable real feelings, they're much too weirdly afraid, that makes them girly faggy or gay, I'm starting to think I need a woman in my life, perhaps I shld try bi and  find myself a wife, have a couple kids and live in a happy white picket fenced home, I have an honorary black soul tho and I'd rather be alone, for years I worked as a family law paralegal, money ruins any relationship and is the root of all evil, similar to don't ask don't tell being repealed, i have absolutely no idea how to end this ranting tangent/pointless shpeal!

Peace and 1,
JC
9/1/15

Discussing Repercussions

Trying to get my cognitive more positive, can't find love if ur closeted, I'm entitled to my opinions and views, it's all about attitude, if u follow ur passion with conviction, u enable others to see the depiction u envision, dreams do and can come true, beauty and strength reside inside of u, when u learn to love urself, u don't need help from suspenders or a belt, u are ur own support system, we need to learn to listen, not blindly follow like herds of sheep, if u didn't agree but made no peep, honestly u have no one to blame, real life ain't like the board game, ultimately u have the choice, can u decipher through the noise, have u found ur voice, yes boys will be boys, but that doesn't permit emotional ignorance, u shldnt use the excuse their just kids since, all actions have consequences and repercussions, instead of reprimanding try having a rational discussion, sometimes an explanation, squashes some stupid miscommunication, it's all symmantics and wording, the amount of hatred and discrimination in this world is disturbing, what we ought to be promoting and urging, is unconditionally loving each and every person, the whole globe would be a better place, now if only we knew how to hope and keep the faith!

Peace and 1
Joe Conscious
8/27/15

Life Actually

Can't seem to help myself, I'm so focused on everyone else, and all that they have, while I look in the mirror and laugh, at how pathetically simple I am, what's the point in making plans, the universe obviously hates me, been feeling hopeless lately, I just wanna close my eyes and die, but don't have the heart or balls to commit suicide, every day I smile and it's a lie, love and respect are earned there not commodities u can buy, I'm so not fine, miss my San Diego sunshine, the mentality and way of life around here is stifling, bitches be crazy small minded and trifling, ignorant to enlightenment, why's the truth so frightening, i want change and I want it now, I don't really care how, I'm sick and tired of being patient, our belief and judicial systems are antiquated and ancient, maybe humanity is too far gone, nobody ever even listens when blatantly forewarned, i find people are gonna do whatever they want anyways, they'd rather stay misogynistic racist bigots who don't believe in global warming or gays, let's turn a blind eye and sweep shit under the rug, baby boomers kicked the can down the line and now just don't give a fuck, they have their social security and unrealistic utopian like idea of retirement, the white man has exploited and ultimately destroyed our environment, perhaps we shld face facts, Dr. Seuss predicted our downfall in The Lorax, both the industrial and technological revolutions, have raped and pillaged the whole wide world with waste and pollution, there may be no possible financial or economic solution, i think the middle class can be resurrected with some restitution, war is so very deadly and gruesome, will marriage remain only a two some, whether it's real or virtual reality, life just sucks actually!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/26/15

Feel The Burn Bern

I know it's imperative, to stop being negative, but it's tough as fuck, getting out of this rut, seriously I dread every day, even when things are going my way, it never leads to what I really want, I've worked as a paralegal and server at a cpl different restaurants, but my ultimate dream, is to be a successful emcee, a philosophical revolutionary lgbt hip hop activist fighting for equality, the lack of truth and justice bothers me, black lives matter but so don't women gays and chidren, of any race beliefs and/or religion, we need to collectively come together in unison, to fix this crooked and corrupt system, this isn't what I think our four fathers envisioned, republicans should shut up and listen, otherwise Trumps gonna win, and all hail our first female president Clinton, which is such a shame, i feel a social Democrat like Sanders shld reign, i wonder if he will pursue an independent campain, if and when he's not the nominee, whether u agree or disagree, alot of what he says resonates with me, so I'm rooting for the underdog...my man Bernie!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/24/15

Poo Poo Economics & Rules

Economics are all out of whack, just look at historical facts, obviously we are declining, 9/11 was impactfully defining, it made billions for Haliburton, meanwhile the rest of us don't get fairly compensated for working, I'm just so fucking sick and tired, of these bullshit political con artists hypocrites and liars, let's destroy our country even more, just cuz I'm a fag doesn't mean u can rape me like ur whore, that's what u do to natural resources like oil not love, I seriously want to give up, life isn't worth living being a corporate slave, im a pain who goes against the grain and won't behave, simply cuz i was told to, super rebellious to any boring mold dude, I'm rambunctious and love to cause ruckus, let's start a revolution against reality TV stars like the Duggars, then Trump wldnt even be in this position, Clinton doesn't get it or won't listen, Sanders is getting the masses tho, can tell he's genuine not putting on a show, maintaining a false bravado, be careful who u root for applause and proclaim bravo, Kardashians shouldnt be famous, shit like that collectively taints us, can't yall understand the small decisions make or break us, how we treat the world is why they hate us, righteous indignation and empty promises with no follow thru, at every opportunity to prove our government grew too, seems to dig us deeper into a heaping pile of poo poo or doo doo, better hold ur nose like ur jumping in the pool, I'm surprised they haven't already made that a law amendment or the general rule, i bet they get off being sadistic and cruel!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/22/15

Phuck Luck

Bonding time with the Pham, around them I don't give a damn, let down my hair, tho u only know what I share, maybe I'm not so mysterious, probably way too serious, like all the time, pot helps me unwind, today I'm a lil tired and groggy, almost as if i partied hardy with some hotty patottys, I might actually be tardy, obvi my work will be shotty, it's just ur basic temp job, im a functional stoner slob, a queer who hates to shop, generic stereotyping and labeling needs to stop, humans are a combination of heart soul and conscious smarts, we eventually all become old wrinkled farts, sometimes a good beer can hit the spot, my rhymes occasionally offend and shock, hoping and praying for that spark, to take me to the top, make a proud mom and pop, so they won't worry so much, financial success and stability are tough, some say it's impossible without any divine dumb luck, seems in that department I came up short I'm basically fucked, RI quicksand's got me stuck, why do I have to compromise my dream to earn an honest buck?

Peace and 1,
JC
8/18/15

No One Owns Me

Woke up early and I'm freshly shaved, when u look this good it's hard to behave, I'm appreciative of the life my parents made, they showed me love is more than just getting laid, 42 years now they've been married, in today's world that makes them pretty savvy, been together longer than I've been alive, very old fashioned my dad always drives, i grew up with the best childhood, yall wish u cld be from my neck of the woods, we lived on a dead end street, like one great big happy family, even as we've grown up and got older, I know I cld piggyback any of their shoulders, I'm one lucky bastard, except when it comes to understanding the relationship of a slave and its master, seems kinda weird to be owned, if my partner doesn't respect me I'd rather stay single and alone, it's been years since I've used conditioner or a comb, a house isn't necessarily a home, that's where the heart is, I'm not the best or smartest, but I'm compassionate genuine and empathetic, my rhymes are sometimes spine tingling and electric, do u think I'm spoiled too comfortable or over protected, I'm dreading the next president elected, and my folks hate I'm so political, many have trouble distinguishing sarcasm from what's literal, I'm not looking for a fight or debate, especially if ur gonna just belittle and spread hate, I'm down for a conversation or an open discussion, but all ur fussing and cussing is disgusting, i will no longer feed into the bs, stop relying on assumption and guess, I care and think too much it makes me mad, shld adopt Sweet Brown's mantra of "ain't nobody got time for that"!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/17/15

Random Isn't For Everyone

The sun is shining, so I don't feel like whining, let's make it a fun day, I wanna find a buddy who wants to play, take a hike or frolic thru the woods, not talking about those bushes or ur goods, have u ever been tied to a flag pole, since ud know do bullys have a soul, i find it funny but not really, seems some wld like to hurt or kill me, I'm def not everyone's favorite person, I hate being interrupted when I'm writing performing or rehearsing, i get that I'm totally random, so not sexy but incredibly cute and handsome, i miss living at the Box with LanAnh and Ansolm, i never did get a chance to pants him, perhaps I'm spelling it wrong cuz he ain't tagged, i wldnt do that to him even tho he's cool with me being a fag, that's why I loved San Fran, i didn't have to change or censor who I truly am, anyway sorry I'm all over the place, I've never had that much tact or grace, i tend to vent with haste, gotta learn to take a steadier pace, I've drawn so many lines, i left what I wanted behind, it's all about compromise, balancing those extreme lows and highs, nothing more beautiful than a west coast sunrise, sometimes it's not about height or size, is success or love the better prize, someday I'll learn to shut down my brain so I won't complain and incessantly ask why!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/16/15

Fall For My Love Spell

Where wld I be without music...dead, honestly it saves my life time after time and again, that's what we call near rhyme, which perhaps is a sign, i shld stop writing for a while, develop some better structure delivery and style, I'm still in the beginning of my illustrious career, I have lots of self afflicted unfounded doubts insecurities and fears, i am afterall only human, unlike Pac I have no idea what the fuck I'm doin, i ain't got the support system he had, I feel lesser than black cuz I'm a fag, and I don't think rap's into that, I don't stand a chance in hell, i wish I cld make u fall in love with me with a love spell, I'm sarcastic smart with a sexy smile and I'm a wild child that loves to rebel, a kinky scrappy antagonistic prick/dick if u cldn't already tell, but quite nice genuinely generous and adorable, plus my competition is absolutely disgustingly greedy and deplorable, sound great but what are they really saying, stop being star struck enviously gazing, most of them have no raw talent, don't even get me started how originality's lacking, why is what I'm asking unreasonable, Maclemore made my dreams seem totally realistic and feasible, if providence promoted me like Seattle, I'd without a doubt be victorious in battle!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/15/15

My Heart's Deep Dark Dreams

Seems deep means dark, like love is synonymous with the heart, the truth hurts, fake facades lurk, but what's worse, perhaps humans are cursed, we're definitely fallible, perfection just isn't palpable, if I can help the kids, that's reason enough to exist, I'm not trying to recruit gays, hard work and a college education no longer pays, try to teach people, the difference between good and evil, but angels aren't considered cool, how does the devil continue to dupe and fool, fuck honesty and modesty, these fickle fans don't appreciate music's artistry, u think anybody can do it, u arrogant rude shits, nothing against folks who freestyle, but look at all the poetic message driven songs I've compiled, ain't nobody doin what I am in hip hop, and no matter what I won't stop, it's gotta be fated or simply my destiny, please god give me the stregnth to not let this cruel world get the best of me, I really don't want to be a paralegal, does anybody understand the frustration I feel, other's dreams come true all the time, why won't mine?

Peace and 1,
JC
8/15/15

I Heart JC

This just can't be my life, I'm sorry to incessantly bitch and gripe, but it simply isn't fair, I know u don't really care, but what if u had this musical gift, how long will u compromise for comfortability and drift, if u don't risk everything u haven't lived big, seems today u can be found guilty without even being convicted, wish members of Congress could be ousted or evicted, why are they immune to the rules and karma, some I swear have guardian angels or invisible armor, i don't dream of having random dumb luck, playing the lottery is for suckers and shmucks, i actually have talent and skills, yet can't pay the bills, cuz no one wants to take a leap of faith, i don't have the luxury to chance it be patient and wait, where's my puff daddy, every golfer has a caddy, Meth had Red, Ethel had both Lucy and Fred, perhaps I'm too needy, does that make me hypocritically greedy, i don't wanna insult or bite the hand that feeds me, when I'm super stoned my eyes get squinty and beady, maybe u won't listen but I hope u hear me, I wanna be the first openly gay white rapper to win a Grammy!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/12/15

The Anti Fight Song

I've lost my fight, there are no words left to write, I've got writers block, no music success or cock, every day is another failure, can't compete with Miley or Taylor, I'm confused and lost, how much wld selling my soul to the devil cost, cuz at this point, I'm way past annoyed, I'm suicidally depressed, I'm not trying to be the best, I just wanna rap and sing, do my own thing, there's enough room for us all, at this rate my second album won't be done til next fall, if I make it that long, can't even follow my own advice of keep holding on and stay strong, i just want to lay down and cry, close my eyes and die, life isn't fair and is just too hard, thinking I'd be better off behind bars, 3 square meals and a bed, in the real world I can't get ahead, perhaps I'll try heroine or meth, I've got no patience or motivation left, apparently the people in power are corrupt and inept, it's been forever since I've slept, wish i cld get obliterated and drink, til I can't feel anymore or think, so worn out and tired, I'll sabotage my job to get fired, regretting even being hired, looking back on the role models I've admired, and most of them are dead, I wonder if me and my music are easy to forget, I know both have been neglected and ignored, ive grasped at straws and clawed, trying to get to the top, but I've decided it's time to stop, not in the name of love, I'm throwing in the towel...I give up!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/12/15

The VJ Day Eruption

Celebrating our victory over japan, by sleeping as late as I can, oh great, of course that means I'm wide awake at 8, two pool parties in a row, a lot of drinking and smoking u know, that's probably obviously common knowledge, like undergraduate college, everybody's got it these days, tuitions but not salaries except congress' raise, I'm not Drew in 50 First Dates, nor Dakota in 50 Shades Of Grey, I have a voice and I have something to say, being gay doesn't make me less than or weak, I'll kick ur ass and not give a flying bleep, whether or not u like me or not, u will respect me tho otherwise ull get clocked, don't act all innocent and shocked, ur lucky I ain't a wangster with a glock, i actually have a decent sized cock, but I'm humble classy and don't go swinging it around, perhaps ur not on my existential level of wise and profound, neither daddy Cam or u can make Lilly or me wanna be a clown, i won't dress up or paint face, maybe I need more time and space, away from these phony bologna liars and posers, i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, so sick of being screwed over, thought we hit rock bottom seems we can go lower, the economy is just sinking slower, i focus on the fact I'm not a show-er I'm a grower, wish everyone else cld be too, I helped start Camp Sparkle what's ur contribution dude, always gotta give back to better the youth, generations have kicked the can down the line uve ballooned the abuse, what are u gonna do when the volcano erupts with lava and ooze, lesser of two evils is the ultimatum we perpetuate and repetedly choose, usually because of one bad seed in the end we all lose!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
9/10/15

Important Support System

Last night was a walk down memory lane, the love exchanged was absolutely insane, it's so important to have a support system like that, I can't help but smile reflecting back, endless amounts of good old fashioned fun, trampolines home run derby bball swimming pools and manhunt, we had an incredible childhood, and we all grew up to being kind hearted and ultimately good, yeah maybe a lil quirky and weird, being accepted for who I am has never been my fear, I guess I'm just blessed and lucky, I don't want a lack of intimacy with someone I let fuck me, and he better get along with my best friends and family, i don't know if u and the music world are ready for or can even handle me, we will just have to wait and see, I wanna sell out stadiums and win a Grammy, but until then, I'm gonna keep putting myself out there time and again!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/9/15

One Vicious Cycle

I've decided to change my perception, no more talking about trans or the 2016 election, in fact I'll just write about sunshine and butterflies, totally ignore all the bullshit tricks and lies, forget that this impactful decision, cld lead us back to the dark ages where gays are put in concentration camps and prisons, funny how blacks and whites unite over homosexuality being wrong, yet divisive over who has the right to make a hip hop rap song, racism has gotten out of control, like abuse it's entrenched deep within our souls, weird how the pattern turns the victim into the perpetrator, still sexism is probably more common and greater, despite there are more women than men, misogyny rules the world time and time again, we seem stuck in a vicious cycle, humanity accepting responsibility is unconditionally vital, if we don't somehow change the way we live, there won't be anything left for future generations of kids!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/7/15

Awaken The Sleeping Consciousness

At any moment I cld go, I wonder if I'm ready tho, I feel I still have a lot to offer, I don't think my goals and dreams can be any loftier, do we ever get what we want, why do I perceive what others achieve as another flaunt to taunt, I'm growing angry embittered and spiteful, i can't pretend I'm all fine and dandy and delightful, i simply feel like I never get ahead, always wondering whether the world wld be better off if I were dead, but I'm not intentionally self destructive or that selfish, yes life's overwhelmingly frustrating and hellish, unlike Nick Jonas I never used to get jealous, however I'm super aggressive and overzealous, cuz i understand every day is a gift, and far too often success is shortlived, everything changes in the blink of an instant, revolutionary activists aren't just endangered we're almost extinct, normally I'd agree with Brandy that "almost doesn't count", but the effect of wealth inequality ignorance is devastatingly long lasting and profound, it'll bring the whole global economy down, nobody's listening to lyrics anymore they're only focused on how it sounds, music used to be a tool to create big waves and movements, much more inspirational educational and still soothing, progressively connecting and relateably moving, I want some soul reinjected, along with deep meaningful messages, that gets people to think, awaken the sleeping consciousness before it sinks, trying to bring back that old school style, fulfilling my fantasy of winning a Grammy wld be absolutely crazy cool and wild, even if it takes a long ass while, I'm still gonna forge forward with my head held high and smile!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/6/15

Who's Goin To Hell

I guess I accept I'm not the best, my life's filled with regrets, i made the wrong career choice the first time around, and the consequences have been quite drastic and profound, I get no sympathy or empathy, seems hip hop celebrity for me just isn't meant to be, I'm anti conservative corporate capitalistic culture, I'm sick of being tortured prey for them snakes and vultures, I've simply fucking haddit, I'm an out and proud loud masculine faggot, i don't wanna wear a wig or dress up as a girl, I want my music to help activate awaken and change the world, I'm hard working even college educated, but why in the RI drag and trans circles am I so despised and hated, we are all a part of the same community, the only way to make a difference is with unity, I'd like to come together as one and fight, we might see the light and finally do what's right, so much corruption and greed, both my heart and soul bleed, i need more motivation strength hope and faith, give me 50 grande and I'll develop the patience to wait, but this being poor shit barely getting by, has got the dumbest numbest robotic slaves uneducated yet still asking why, the 1% shouldn't be exempt or special, in my opinion their the hypocritical selfish pricks that are all goin to hell!

Peace and 1,
JC
8/6/15

No Sympathy

Some days it can be hard to get out of bed, others I'm lost in the fog inside my own head, I can't hear myself think cuz of all the noise, wish people cld debate with respect and poise, instead of throwing insults when u can't refute, stupidity nor ignorance is a valid excuse, u were probably just being ur usual lazy, i know the idea of reciprocity seems crazy, but honestly I can only give so much, I'm sorry  I'm tight but my butt doesn't get stuffed often or fucked, i do love relentless teasing and edging, incessant milking til shooting blanks and begging, maybe even a lil tickle or nipple torture, I'll make u into my personal slave bitch pig whore, whom I also care for and adore, equals outside the bedroom he's mi amore, u shld stop ur judgmental assumption, worry about u and ur sexual consumption, i may be a wee bit weird kinky and freaky, i wish I wasn't believe me, but I play the best hand with what I've been dealt, there's worse things than having feet that smell, a bald head being thicker or short, picking on people isn't an Olympic sport, it actually makes u a bully, I'm not gonna let an asshole tarnish my image or sully, afterall that's my muddied good name, hope u enjoyed my coattail ride to fame, cuz we all know u ain't got talent, ur amateur effort was courageous brave and valient, but please do urself the favor and take a seat, nobody has sympathy for filthy rich wealthy elite or a cheat!

Peace and 1,
JC
7/4/15