Who, What, When, Where & How

Bet u think this poem is about u, just another vain fool, most times I'm talking to myself, yes I know I need professional help, they say that's a sign of genius, why are men judged by their penis, can't start a fire without a spark, in order to love u need a heart, a majority of hot jocks and beautiful blondes aren't smart, online dating allows finding hook ups a la carte, no strings attached, relationships started from meeting at bars and clubs don't last, the internet has ruined social interaction, I personally know adults that lack dreams purpose and passion, just going thru the motions, like a robot lacking empathy or emotion, and forget about critical thinking, fun only involves drugs and drinking, our movies and music are all recycled garbage, our government is hell bent on spreading war and carnage, simply because it's more profitable, what happened to human kindness the greater good and being hospitable, discrimination and bigotry are running rampant, life seems to be one giant tangent, imaginary like the horizon line, receding and fleeting over time, which is another man-made construct, stop letting society control ur conduct, dictating who what when where and how, focus less on the past and future and live in the here and now, apply the golden rule, if everything happens for a reason use experience as a tool, learn the difference between knowledge and wisdom, this is not Trump's kingdom, we're still a democratic republic, everything Obama did he gutted it, reversing progress taking us backwards, reinvesting in coal and oil which are hazards, ruining our planet, I can't fucking stand it, wake up people, fight against the forces of evil, before it's too late, let's make the whole world sustainable socialistic and great, aren't there enough money and resources to go around, a change has gotta come and it needs to be profound!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/31/17

A Complicated Dance

Tired but pushing thru, trying not to overdo, tho fun is important, our hours allotted get shortened, between my day job music and working out, I've only got a little amount of energy to shout or bout, let alone squeeze in an occasional massage, send Mr. Sandman my regards, if sleep is the cousin of death, then so are coffins and beds, people always said I was an old soul, who can I blame for the youth time stole, with every tick-tock of the clock, destiny knocks, til ur reflection becomes unrecognizably aged, trapped and attached to a body ur consciousness enslaved, the temple's been neglected, poisoned and infected, by chaos along with the strife and plight of life, confused by truth and lies wrong or right, who ultimately decides, some imaginary guy in the sky, is it all just an illusion, can u become addicted to losing, finding comfort believing in bad luck, cuz I'm feeling cursed as fuck, like the devil's got a hold, I don't fit any normal mold, a freak of nature, ashamed of what ya mamma gave ya, shaking my ass isn't a money maker, imagine if there was a powerful eraser, that could delete all ur mistakes, allowing u to control and change fate, I wonder if anyone's been named God, I've heard Jesus a lot, but with a different pronunciation like hey Zeus, religion perpetuates abuse, think of all the wars fought, faith and magic can't be taught, we must find and walk our own path, can u please direct me to someone who can answer the questions I have to ask, I'm so lost, how much does enlightenment cost, is there some sort of cheat sheet, perhaps there's no meet and greet, just eternal black, keep moving forward stop looking back, there's simply one chance, think of existence as a complicated dance!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/30/17

Unconditional True Love's A Gift

Many days I awake still stumped, it's Wednesday so I'm trying to make it over the hump, I'm exhausted from worrying, everyone's in a hurry scurrying, instead of focusing on being in the moment, feels like I'm going against the tide rowing, so I'm getting nowhere, hoes don't care, it's just business to them, I don't want to get my heart broken again, having trouble even finding friends, my life's so different not always being bent, I can better manage my emotions, I'm not into promiscuousness makeup waxing plucking nor lathering lotions, cuz my beauty comes from the soul, healthiness is my ultimate goal, spiritual mental and physical, it's hard to distinguish between sarcastic and literal, guess I'm not all that easy to read, super nice and genuine is impossible for people to believe, ain't motivated by popularity or greed, please don't put ur past bad relationships on me, I am far from perfect, I've repeatedly sat by and watched u work it, right after u said uve changed, double standards are strange, it's tough to be a reflective mirror, being an empath I need to separate my shit clearer, getting too close makes things overwhelmingly confusing, happiness and success are simply illusions, manifestations of what we think others want to see, is this all but a dream, if so I want to wake up, wish I could at least make out if we can't make love, seems I don't meet ur standards, learn that asshole isn't synonymous with candor, why am I so sensitive and loyal, trying to suppress the point of boiled, a repressed ticking time bomb, keeping my over-analyzing mind calm, so I don't take my finger off the switch, become unstable and unhinged, gotta maintain equilibrium and balance, miss the days of idolizing chivalry and valiance, good got bastardized, the truth's disguised by lies, the world got shit twisted and is ass backwards, don't ignore and laugh at my words, my poetry is wise and profound, global warming is a fact Earth isn't flat it's round, ignorance isn't bliss, nothing not even fucking is more intimate than a kiss, said Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", stop presenting urselves if unavailable not cuz u can't but cuz u shouldn't, lust isn't a game, heartache can drive a person to kill or insane, love ain't nothing to fuck with, when unconditional and true it's a gift!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/29/17

Part Of That World

I don't need fame and fortune for validation, nor do I promote malice and hating, ghetto gangster thug just isn't in my nature, I prefer not to premeditate or cater, i'd rather be vague and more relatable, opinions unlike truth are debatable, but it's all perception, I love Italian food but also Chinese and Mexican, which makes me miss California like crazy, a lack of farmer's markets and better weather is phasing me, I never realized how much my emotions are tied to the environment, it's funny I don't dream of retirement, instead I hope and pray someday music becomes my career, hobnobbing with stars over a blunt and a beer, performing or recording every night, sweating my balls off being under the lights, going from cities and states to other countries, please don't belittle and make fun of me, I truly believe it is my destiny, I have faith some things are simply meant to be, but practice passion and perseverance helps, I serve the greater good not just myself, I wanna rise to lift the collective up, I endorse truth justice consciousness and love, which is unusual in hip hop today, plus I'm middle class college educated and masculine gay, definitely not a stereotype, I push and breakdown boundaries and limitations in life, anything is possible when u put ur mind heart and soul into it, u can't be rewarded for not doing shit, hard work eventually pays off, happiness and respect can't be bought, I wanna make my parents proud, have the name Vacca mean more than just cow, like Ariel sings "I don't know when...I don't know how", "but I know something's starting right now", "watch and ull see", "some day I'll be", rocking a victory speech at the Grammys, while all ya'll are jaw dropped at home on the couch in ur jammies!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/28/17

A Few Tokens & Keys

The key to success is motivation and consistency, I try to imagine in utopia how much bliss there'd be, no right or wrong just ignorance, what do all ya'll sinners think, in death we'd move on to a better place, do u believe free will is a hoax or waste, is there a divine higher plan/a pre-slated plate or fate, I can't remember the last time I went out on an actual date, men aren't the best romantics or wooers, where's all the givers and doers, everyone's waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep them off their feet, nobody waits til marriage to do the deed, we treat mates like cars, checking under the hood and taking a test drive still scars, taints the purity, not smoking pot seems to have cured me, I'm less anxious all the time, not even uninspired to continue writing rhymes, in fact I'm more clearheaded and focused, lust is a locust, beautiful, but's got a deadly bite, I hate to fight, sometimes tho it's a necessity, can't let jealousy get the best of me, I must be patient, perhaps I've been too complacent, gotta socialize more, without being too much of a slutty whore, it's a fact, life and love are a balancing act, it's hard not to lose urself, especially since we all need help, at one point or another, wish my transitions were smooth like butter, cuz my ride is bumpy and windy, pain can make the blind see, if they're willing and open, forgiveness is both a lesson and a token, peace and happiness is a state of mind, seek and u may find, beware of expectation and judgment, artists are honorary ombudsmen, keeping authority in line, only the faith are conscious of signs, there's gotta be purpose, trust ur guts fears and nervousness, have hope in positivity, take risks to learn what ur limits and boundaries be, travel as often as u can, take it step by step day by day and remember ur just one man, brush-fires start with a simple small spark, and stars shine brightest when it's really dark, guard ur soul and heart, understanding we don't know anything makes u wise not smart, appreciate all that uve got, materialistically speaking we don't need a lot, what's important are family and friends, fuck money cuz u can't take it with u when it all ends!

Peace and 1,

JC

3/27/17

Price Versus Cost

Trying to learn how to have more fun in my life, being serious and too deep all the time makes me prude and uptight, gotta get out of this rut, stop thinking in RI I'm destined to stay stuck, it isn't better anywhere else, traveling a lot helps, broadening horizons and perspective, still can't get over the President the Electoral College elected, but politics and news exacerbates my stress levels, I mean who cares if the economy is disheveled, totally joshing/being facetious if u didn't know, ya'll can't take sarcasm or a joke, apparently I have a wicked sense of humor, not a fan of Anthony Jeslenik or Amy Schumer, they dated at one time, both don't just toe but go over and cross the line, I simply don't like mean funny, art isn't valued by money, I mean sure it has cost, but like the soul shouldn't be bought, unless there's connection and meaning, never give up on dreams or stop believing, everything happens for a reason, and changes like the seasons, often times cyclical, repetition perpetuates cynical, love needs to be reciprocal, if u can dish shit but can't take it that's hypocritical, overpopulation is making this world unlivable, billionaires make the game unwinnable, hoarding all the dough, imagine if that was illegal tho, there'd be better distribution of wealth, perhaps we'd have the right to both free education and health, the US is one of the richest nations, but it's been years since I could enjoy a vacation, temp agencies have become human resources, bonuses should go to the workers not just the bosses, banks shouldn't be profiting off the poor, and credit card companies outrageous interest rates rape us like whores, profit margins are out of control, use wind and solar energy instead of gas oil and coal, we keep heading down the wrong path, corrections need to be made and must happen fast, otherwise the future looks damned and bleak, why couldn't we have just let Bernie lead?!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/24/17

Just Laugh At & Pass Past Bads

A big flaw of mine is caring too much, oversharing/spilling my guts, it's hard to tell the difference between friendship love and lust, and don't forget petty jealousy and envy, perhaps I should stop trying to force what wasn't meant for me, can't decide if I'm stubborn or determined, am I born gay or was it learned, since many believe we're products of our environment, never assume what a habitual liar meant, misunderstanding is common in communication, did u expect me to forever stay patiently waiting, I'm simply not built that way, I don't fake feelings or censor what I say, just genuine and direct, over analyze and reflect in hindsight/retrospect, too serious and existential, extremely intense and perceived mental, a prude dude, with a snobbish attitude, but if u took the chance, to converse run game or do the flirtatious dance, u might be surprised, I'm actually humble modest and a lil shy guy, somewhat insecure, always looking for more, that's the Gemini in me, keep searching for my happy, it's not in someone else, we all need help, but true strength resides within, it's not about where u end up or begin, the journey is most important, I prefer foreplay dating and courting, than casual sex blow and goes, everyone reaps what they sow, so take responsibility for ur actions, find ur purpose and passion, cuz life is short and fleeting, never stop believing, anything is possible but uve got to have the desire to at least try, u don't know what u got til it's gone especially when a loved one dies, so appreciate and value this moment, remember forgiveness and atonement, treasure ur relationships, even burned bridges can be fixed, if there's a solid foundation, when u belly-flop face-plant or pound pavement, get up dust it off let shit pass and just laugh, cuz time flies by way to fast to stay stuck in past bads!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/23/17  

What The Hell Is The Point

Some days are better than others, my best friends growing up are still like my brothers, most I met thru soccer, but the biggest shocker, is as we get older, people become harder and colder, anti social and cliquey, I'm left here wondering what's wrong with me, single and never been in love, barely can find cuddles or hugs, affection isn't a finite limited resource, but it seems my only recourse, is sinking down to the level of promiscuous slut, there's way more important things than a good fuck or nut, I'm so damn bored all the time, u shouldn't leave me alone with my mind, it's driven me past crazy, to just plain lazy, totally judgmental about those thot, I can't believe it's been almost two months and I haven't smoked pot, it's kinda weird to be so clear headed, pretty sad how drugs and alcohol are deeply embedded, into our definition of fun, ironic like safety and guns, I think humans are synonymous with fallible hypocrites, sorry not sorry but the tall tale of Jesus is ridiculous, so many inconsistencies and holes, ever played the game telephone, perhaps that's what happened, and leaders in power are banking big laughing, demoralizing women Muslim and gays, telling us to pray the sin away, using fear guilt and shame, even the pope's trying to gain fame, everything's a hoax, the truth is cloaked, hidden so deep, seems impossible to make that leap, faith and hope are both lost, how much did the collective soul cost, I don't wanna be all pessimistic negative and preachy, but I can't pretend to be happy fine and dandy or peachy, I'm filled with angst anxiety and very annoyed, constantly questioning what the hell is the point?!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/22/17

Che Sara Sara

Been back working out, since existence is an endless battle/bout, carouselling and yo-yoing, constantly restarting and going, up and down, this urological problem has been profound, knocked me off my game, I haven't felt the same, lost my confidence and spunk, I'm insecure about my junk, afraid that one wrong move, and I could be screwed, when it comes to men I'm super picky, not into feminine or twinky, I'm a lil bit kinky, but wicked over sensitive/over thinky, I can't help it I'm Joe Conscious, some find me too intense serious and obnoxious, I don't censor myself, always try to be genuine and help, much more of a giver, but lately been jealous and bitter, cuz so many people leave me, I love unconditional and deeply, it hurts to be ghosted and pushed away, I often feel cursed cuz I'm a masculine gay, totally misunderstood, tired of stroking my own ego and wood, I fight for the forces of good, wish my music had street cred being blasted in the hood, some day I truly believe, I am destined to succeed, otherwise what was the point of this life, all the pain and the strife, they say seek and u shall find, long lasting relationships blow my mind, where do they get the patience from, when compromising how do they not become undone, losing their individuality in a collective we, while I stay independent and free, longing to find my other half, it's getting harder to simply smile and laugh, the future weighs heavy, tho I appear thick skinned and rock steady, I'm actually soft and fragile, gotta stretch and stay agile, in case I have to flee, perhaps it's time to adopt the motto che sara sara whatever will be will be, and let go of control, stop swimming in this abyss of a black hole, before my soul grows cold, so old and alone I just fold, my spirit won't have the desire to play the hand God dealt and planned, man can't command the power to meet divine demands, death is impossible to fathom and understand, but my damn hourglass finally ran out of sand!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/21/17

Rest In Peace Dear Friend

Yesterday I lost a dear friend, we can't control when a life ends, but he was much too young, leaving behind a daughter and a son, the story is just tragic, do u believe in magic, in times like these, it's impossible to conceive, if there is a God, why does it all seem so hard, making money and finding love, my spirit needs a comforting hug, as my hope and faith, slowly's fading away, cuz the doom and gloom, perpetually rises with the moon, like clockwork shit happens, death comes with overwhelming saddening, can't keep my composure, stress increases with responsibility as we get older, never learn how to navigate fate, I thought everyone was destined to be great, but most lack ambition and courage, weighed down by fear or materialistic luggage, what is the legacy u want to leave, please don't ever give up on dreams, all u need's some action and passion, anything's possible if u keep imagining, I truly agree, there's more than we can know or see, like the air we breathe, karma isn't vengeful or mean, souls transcend, if hearts can break then minds bend, wounds scar when they mend, tho ull never recapture the past again, cuz seasons change like family and friends, but music lasts forever, we are much stronger united together, brave the inevitable stormy weather, success is individually measured, u define greatness, heaven doesn't have a wait list, we can't duplicate or make bliss, it'll take a while to shake this, any loss takes time, stop trying to rationalize the reason or rhyme, the lord works in mysterious ways, divinely guiding us thru the crazy hazy maze, the end is not defeat, til we meet again dear friend rest in peace!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/20/17

U Give Gays A Bad Name

I heard u were out acting all slutty, I wish I could let u go so u no longer bug me, ur so immature, indecisive and insecure, a habitual liar, yet for some reason I adore and admire, those beautiful eyes, jealousy leads to demise, I guess we can't be friends, forgiveness is hard but I'm trying again, not for ur sake but mine, u are always on my mind, and I hate that, stop distorting facts, u only have urself to blame, ur promiscuousness is driving me insane, I think ur a natural heartbreaker, a smart faker, get what u want then push people away, u give gays a bad name, why can't u just be a good person, are u a trust fund baby or have a sugar daddy since I know u aint working, fuck getting any sympathy, all uve earned is pity, u don't deserve my unconditional love, I can be over confident but ur just smug, arrogant and egotistical, ur allure is magical and mystical, but ur truth is ugly, excessive drinking isn't fun for me, nor is it therapeutic, ur kind of an asshole/lunatic, a bit bipolar and abusive, ur presumptuous assumptions and behavior's putrid, always playing the damn victim, that's why I came to the decision, to block u from my life, u added too much plight and strife, questioning my intentions, sorry u were just a lustful obsession, moved too fast too soon, and now I'm left feeling like a foolish buffoon, and I can't seem to shake, twice making the same mistake, need to take my own advice, why try re-rolling the dice, perhaps I am too nice, ghosting bites, but very necessary, being blessed gets messy perpetually, cuz evil takes advantage of the good, I'm not miseducated I'm misunderstood, show my worst yet see the best, both my heart and soul have no bullet proof vest, and altho I know there's a purpose for everything, like finding joy when I write poetry rap and sing, but those aren't forever lasting distractions, we need more progressive masculine factions, otherwise all appears lost, start emulating more positive role models like Bernie cuz he's a boss, do u know the difference between gravy and sauce, u screwed over this Italian stallion fine wine one too many times and now it's really ur loss!  

Peace and 1,
JC
3/20/17    

Never Been Great

Seems the population has gone blind, we're collectively falling behind, in education pollution and civil rights, how can the poor feed themselves and still keep on the lights, I'm only ok cuz I live with my folks at home, what will I do when I'm all alone, I can't stand on my own two feet, am I supposed to claim bankruptcy or ultimate defeat, our social benefit programs are being rapidly defunded, the reality is humanity's being plundered, and by the wealthy stealthily, this election catastrophically destroyed millions mentally, how is it that the population didn't get who we voted for, apparently we're just the electoral college's whore, worthless and stifled, fuck fundamental healthcare but don't take away their rifles, let's invest more in oil and coal, how bout ya'll pay back the social security and Medicare money u stole, we paid our fair share, stop manipulating the truth using fear, they're not luxuries, why keep pushing bills thru Congress in a hurry, what happened to transparency, do u not understand that debt is imaginary, I mean who do we owe, taxes and banks are the cause of our woes, perhaps we should go back to the gold standard or a bartering system, politicians never really listen, prisons shouldn't be big business, ten years from now I'm certain we won't miss this, instability chaos and confusion, too many people are caught up in illusions, pretending to be happy and successful, enough with participation trophies and medals, life is a competition, caveman-like survival of the fittest is coming to fruition, we're being divided and conquered, evil has eradicated chivalry righteousness and honor, how much more will u fools tolerate, I don't think the USA has ever been great!

Peace and 1,
JC
3/16/17

Allowing The Devil To Steer

Many times I resort to writing, to help curb my internal conflict/fighting, often times no one openly says, I'm on anti anxiety or depression meds, probably from the shame attached, why is it so hard to grasp, these are uncertain times, Trump's crossed numerous lines, and perhaps we can't turn back now, I don't understand man or know how, if we can ever undo, false news becoming truths, when they don't even make common sense, fuck a wall or a fence, that's just wasting billions of dollars, repealing and replacing Obamacare devastates the blue collars, only aids the rich dicks, stop falling for his tricks, like a tyrant ruling using fear, next he'll attack Social Security and Medicare, we are only as strong as our weakest link, ask the poor what they think, life keeps getting more expensive and harder, the elderly and immigrants aren't fodder to barter, we all have value and purpose, giving up on the disadvantaged collectively hurts us, we all need a helping hand, it's not negotiating when u have such outlandish demands, financial assistance should be determined by both income and age, pretty soon revolution will occur from all the hate uve enraged, I'm a good person, who keeps trying and working, but ya'll wealthy folk aren't paying ur fair share, 90% of us have nothing left to spare, if ur intentions are to thin out the herd, ur methodology is absurd, trickle down economics has been proven to fail, unfortunately it seems evil finally prevailed, the wants of a few outweigh the needs of the masses, our global reputation has diminished to a bunch of dumb asses, we're headed backwards on issues like civil rights and global warming, guess we haven't learned from history nor heeding the warnings, the end of days is drawing near, why did we give the devil free reign and control allowing him to steer?

Peace and 1,
JC
3/15/17