I'm feeling my season is finally approaching, working hard to be ready and open, life's blessings and lessons, this journey I'm enduring's been prepping, now if I simply seize opportunity, I know intuitively, I'll eventually succeed, more than anyone else u gotta believe, never be afraid to say u dream big, don't judge or compare urself with how others live, the only thing any of us can really do, is focus on being the best version of u!
We have a quarter, the power of water, hogging all the oxygen, there ain't no stopping him, elevating consciousness, transcending obnoxiousness, educatingly smart without the cheese factor, take life so super serious I appreciate sarcastic satire inspiring laughter, I'm ultimately the actor just playing me, MCJC, can u feel my vibe, let's socially smoke and ride the musical high times tide, on a wave built on a foundation of real unconditional love, expecting y'all to eventually find ur ability to also resiliently rise up!
"Don't need opinions nor criticism...stop judging and listen...best way to prove loyalty and love...is to just simply shut and show up!"
"Ain't chasing fortune and fame...I'm playing the finding fulfillment long game...it's a damn shame idolizing talentless dumb luck...y'all shmucks stay stuck...ignorance phucking sucks...doing everything extra for a quick buck...I gotta settle for peace and having at least one love...that's me MCJC and God damn I am enough!"
U think u know how I feel cuz how I feel is what y'all think too, if ur lucky enough for me to share that with u, time definitely flies by, in the blink of an eye, but I'm persistently consistent esp with love, there's nothing more all encompassing than a great big bear hug, lifting me up off my feet, like Leona "I just wanna be happy", that's apparently alot to ask, perhaps I'm too much is #facts, I'm not for everyone, a hopeful romantic in search of chemistry and fun, gotta remember it's just not that serious, trying to fix other people's shit's deluded and delirious, give myself that grace, it's ok to be gay and still have faith, play by my own rules, reinforcing boundaries is ur biggest tool, put u first, fear is always there it lingers and lurks, life's consequences and choices, I have one of the most original prolific voices, standing on a platform of consciousness pride and truth, hopeful optimism for the future isn't only for the youth, ur never too old to grow learn or change, upon reflective retrospection u learn the balance hangs, on how each moment plays out, do u entertain regret or resiliently bout doubt, it's really up to us, to live with not just ur heart soul or guts but all of the above!
I'm really struggling with sucking at this game called life, I'm completely defeated by all the pain grief plight and strife, I wanna wallow in misery victimhood complain and gripe, it's not wrong or right, it's how I feel, most people don't keep it real, they project misdirect or straight fake, saying I don't do what it takes, internalize all that gaslighting bullying and lies, money being the ultimate prize, size is what matters most, so brag and boast, fuck humbling modesty, who needs truth and honesty, nobody likes to hang with angels, we wanna hear the villains side of the fables, bastardizing the greater good, we are all misunderstood, cuz y'all won't get to know like or love urselves, ask for let alone receive help, it takes a village, not all that comes from glitter and gold is privileged, in fact those who smile brightest need that back, and not just in kind words only after the fact!
After all the close calls and grief, nowadays I'm just a dreamer of peace, are u comfortable or happy, do u think some people fake feeling crappy, actually looking for pity, isn't seeking commissery silly, thats how cliques are formed, I always thought my experience is the norm, which was furthest from the truth, I'm a blessed and privileged white dude, but doesn't gay make me lesser than, I can't understand, having 2 straight parents married for 45 years, perhaps my inner circle is weird, I'm 41 childless and single, dwelling on this upcoming age gives me a tingle, I'm so close, to being scared and alone, a siblingless orphan, worrying about urns over a coffin, what if I develop alzheimers disease, who will take care of me, nobody's asking what happens to Joe, seems I'm catching up to my labeled old soul, was such a late bloomer, why do I hate boomers, they toxically neglected, left me unguided and unprotected, I deserved better, so micromanaged enslaved and tethered, I crave bondage, trying to people please respect and pay homage, with real genuine authenticity, embrace flaws and eccentricity, be unique, but still a believer/idealistic dreamer of peace!
Gay is not an identity it's my sexuality, we are all abusing ai/virtual reality, it's absolutely ridiculous, a fatherfucking sickness, a cancerous plague, everyone's neglectfully disengaged, enraged from the pain of hurt sheeple, spreading toxicity and evil, while also projecting what u don't like with urself, I too hypocritically need help, I ain't too proud to beg, just like the Temptations said, mind ur own damn business, I'm only now learning there's privilege in blissful idealistic ignorance, I wanna create a safe space for talent to tell their story, be an artist advocate helping others achieve fulfillment and glory, using transcendent music poetry and art as therapy, not only makes a mindfully more conscious better me, but awakens an epically legendary legacy, that is incredibly imperatively very necessary, inspiring the intergenerational youth, to revolutionarily rebel seek and speak their truth too!
I need the universe to provide a big win, redeem dignity from losses ranging in the trillions, at this point, I've become numb living annoyed, much more angrily and frustratingly enraged, stemming from deep rooted grief and pain, was often rejected or neglected, depleted and unprotected, my soul's running dry, I just wanna lay down and die, life's too hard, dealt sucky cards, can't help wonder how many hands left, feel like a fucking failure totally inept, micromanaged by my mom, I have to pretend I'm fine and calm, but I'm a complete and utter mess, even worse I'm super lucky grateful and blessed, can all those things be simultaneously true, or am I just a gullible sucker/idealistic naive fool?
Not Olympic gold medal special, my music mission is intentional, yall should learn to ask right, instead of toxically gaslight, I'm not trying to escape, just need a break, call me Kit Kat, hope I write a hip rap, that'll go viral, stop this depressive downward spiral, like I'm caught in quicksand, which stinks man, my own community ruined me, never giving any opportunity, since I'm not drag, sorry not sorry for the creation u lack, I don't need make up or a wig, rhinestones sequins or doing a lil jig, I'm just genuine and raw, a gay gentleman at my core, being the example I need to see in the world, art gets me thru the shit the universe hurls, but I'm ready to give up, since most don't can't or won't know how to show love, fuck luck, sometimes the best way to help is a simple hug with a back rub!
