After all the close calls and grief, nowadays I'm just a dreamer of peace, are u comfortable or happy, do u think some people fake feeling crappy, actually looking for pity, isn't seeking commissery silly, thats how cliques are formed, I always thought my experience is the norm, which was furthest from the truth, I'm a blessed and privileged white dude, but doesn't gay make me lesser than, I can't understand, having 2 straight parents married for 45 years, perhaps my inner circle is weird, I'm 41 childless and single, dwelling on this upcoming age gives me a tingle, I'm so close, to being scared and alone, a siblingless orphan, worrying about urns over a coffin, what if I develop alzheimers disease, who will take care of me, nobody's asking what happens to Joe, seems I'm catching up to my labeled old soul, was such a late bloomer, why do I hate boomers, they toxically neglected, left me unguided and unprotected, I deserved better, so micromanaged enslaved and tethered, I crave bondage, trying to people please respect and pay homage, with real genuine authenticity, embrace flaws and eccentricity, be unique, but still a believer/idealistic dreamer of peace!
Joe Conscious
2/20/24
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