Thursday, December 8, 2022

Have Happy Holly Jolly Wobbly Holidays

It's approaching celebratory times...I've intentionally designed so many rhymes...of nostalgic trees love and snow...mistletoe n those jingling silver bells ringing with Rudolph's approach...I swear I just saw frosty acting naughty with Mrs Clause yo...she's pissed with old saint nick...but Christmas means forgiveness...let this musical wish be...for a misfit's kiss/magical bliss/merry glee...perhaps we can even spare a happy hannukah kwanzaa and new years please...while I pageanty plea world peace...they managed to bastardize purity and goodness...idolizing ghetto fabulously trashy hoodness...leaving couvesier and fanta...for non blasphemous oh mylanta bad santa...along with some bomb ass medicinal weed...for the reindeer with anxiety and ADHD but no participation trophy...what a thankless job...in need of dairy free egg nog... forget about gratitude and family...we've become a numb casualty of virtual reality insanity/fake facade fantasy I'm antsy...too much stress is demanded of the learned we version of me...I dont wanna be understandably...commercial capitalism's underhandedly...yet y'all flock eagerly...like evil's sheeple seagles be...glorifyingly confuse that ignorantly rude scrooge attitude...another duped fool believing the grinch's rich bitch isn't cool dude...the deprived be naively following that gold bricked road to hell but oh well...since Jack Frost won't let mom thaw or melt...toe bone cold weather's present again my friends...so let's go get holly jolly wobbly drunk and bent...I mean who cares...new years is almost here...cheers and salute...to u and u and u too....everybody and a buddy get cuddly by a fire...let love suddenly comfortably be inspired...to all nonbinary straights and gays I pray...no hate...don't discriminate...and hopefully ull only show social medially having happy holidays!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
12/9/22

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Maybe Won't Wallow In Sorrow Tomorrow

This time of year gets especially hard for me, RIP dad and G, I know ur in heaven smiling down, gotta invert/reverse that frown, to help push thru and keep the faith, have unconditional hope and pray, try to always be grateful and show kindness, stay conscious of mindfulness, we ain't promised tomorrow, so never wallow too long in sorrow!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/30/22

A Long Shot

Isn't everything a long shot, and as I grew up I forgot, how to live and dream, nothing is really as it seems, responsibility is inevitable, I see it as the devil, I don't want it, am I even fit, when I look in the mirror, it all becomes unclearer, what is the fucking point, actually I'm rather annoyed, time hasn't healed any wounds, it wasn't until Wallace I swooned, do I deserve love tho, drowning in my own dug hole, can a person replace another, perhaps I've existed undercover, now I just feel invisible, success has been minimal, so it's hard to be consistently persistent, can't imagine having a manager agent or assistant, yet I'm overwhelmed often, mostly envisioning urns and coffins, I can't bring myself to visit their grave sight, my darkness hates light, but that's all they say I am, why don't I agree that I can, strangers often believe, so how come I can't agree, only in death do I feel my mom will see me, from my roots I'll be freed, her wings will help me fly, loved ones surround us when they die, like a force field protecting us, I only hope to start electing guts, cuz my mind and heart are tired and broken, all the apologies and affirmations spoken, haven't worked, the regret and resentment exacerbates the painful hurt, I cant take back or fix the mistakes, I don't want to become consumed by gloom and hate, but how, and what am I supposed to do now, so alone, fully grown, scared as hell, I won't dare to share or tell, cuz truth's subjective, maybe I've always been over protected, even spoiled privileged and coddled, too ticklish being fondled, sensitive to any touch, perpetually told I'm too much, stay bent, trying to diminish being intense, when I finally let go, my ultimate wish is to find the best Joe!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/30/22

Monday, November 28, 2022

How Here...Now Where

I used to escape thru writing, all the grief I've endured's stifling, the future seems lost with no hope, finding joy is the only way to cope, but both are rare, mom's had a hell of health scare year, I'm consumed by doom, I've never fantasized being a groom, while I long for love, nothing's more healing than a hug, do any of y'all just not feel good enough, or perhaps simply stuck, trapped in our own chosen design, please don't believe anybody's spokenly fine, ask that follow up question, why u bsing, hiding behind a crocodile smile, am I on society's trial, like it's the Joe Show, gotta grow some homo mojo tho, spread sass, kick ass, vanquishing evil, dictate against sheeple, as if it were words not deeds, and Putin had the power to charge fees to breathe, syllables become expensive, devolutionarily intensive, communication gets wasted, so depressively regressive u can taste it, numb and bland, it's hard to fathom/understand, how on Pluto did we get here, good god we got conquered by fear...now where?!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/29/22

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Probably Think This Poem Is About U

Ur soul's so vain, ain't no full blown grown shame, oh I'm sorry...silly me, I forgot y'all are exempt from accountability, must I sit complicit silently, politely delightfully all sexy smiley, matter fact bow down to me, and eternally now and forever vow to be, urs truly, whorish abusively, have infinite side pieces like hustles, when it speaks it out loud gets repeatedly muzzled, so can't hear me clearly, daringly fairy, I'm completely fucked up about love, is marriage a contracted act of ownership over a sub, the victim and its prey, like a record company and their artist aka slave, don't tell me how to behave, I won't degrade or spread hate cuz I'd rather self depricate, make many mistakes and absolutely refuse to be disingenuous or fake, I just need my big break, have hope and faith, just maybe perhaps someday, but either way I didn't prove a fool, this poem like Joni's song definitely ain't about u!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/20/22

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Can A Homo Be The Hero

Can a homo be a hero, or do we automatically start below zero, u know cuz we're less than, I'm a blessed man, despite my flaws, try to absorb like gauze, soak it all up, it's none of ur business who I love or fuck, I'm a fabulously talented poet/rapper, but all y'all see is a cracker, white men can't jump nor succeed in hip hop, watch me as I mic drip drop, just like jaws wide open, a lot of truth is sarcastically said followed by just joking, aka jk, isn't being PC pretty gay, l...o...l, I'm goin with Lil Nas X to hell, in bloody sneaks, I'd love to collab on One Love One Heart with him Adam Lambert and me, maybe even get Steve Grand, and we can start a band, tour the whole globe, with an all homo variety show, I mean why not, it's my dream pride plot, and since we only got one life to live, like Mike I'm wondering what more can I give, our ultimate purpose is to serve, constantly grow and learn, never achieving perfection, yet still striving to be a thriving inspiring legend!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/16/22

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Find Mindfulness In True Unconditional Love Gratitude & Kindness

Why isn't knowledge and wisdom in hip hop relevant, y'all popularized and glorified the gangster mentality and it's evident, I'm both book and street smart, have an old soul and a great big heart, that wants to love and save the whole wide world, I may be gay but I still have nothing but love for women and girls, my experience is extremely different, everything can change in an instant, it's about adaptation, u better wake up and pay attention to admiration, what u passionately strive to achieve, having the ability to agree to disagree, without the need to demonize or blame, I never knew how much I was consumed by guilt and shame, the jealousy and envy would just perpetuate the self hate, couldn't even see I'm already great, yet long for approval and validation, financial and award winning applauding congratulations, instead I find myself isolated disconnected and dismissed, like I'm not worthy enough to even exist, especially in the music business, doubly privelaged, being male and white, I hate the stereotype gays can't fight, I'd rather make peace than war, give back to the youth and to the poor, use my transcendent poetry and music to help heal, lead by example that boys can be vulnerable empathetic and deeply feel, I try to remain humbly confident genuinely authentic and real, keep hoping that vibration catches fire and has mass appeal, wish we all could find mindfulness, focusing on true unconditional love gratitude and kindness!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/15/22

Sunday, November 13, 2022

Where The Spotlight Beams

Begging the world to find bliss in the mindfulness, of love gratitude and kindness, for others as well as ourselves, we all deserve a lil help, and that's totally ok, why are y'all so afraid, vulnerability isn't weak, sexy geek can be sheik, u don't have to be one thing, we need a fun King to lead yet be someone who sings, moves troops with just the use of their voice, beware the consequence of choice, shouldn't dismiss accountability, as willy nilly or silly, simply cuz Trump does, his irresponsible nature fucked us, and I won't only blame him, the bandwagon enraged and enflamed a symptom, that became epidemic proportioned, evil consorting and cohorting til democracy's abortion, contradicting reversal of roe v wade, fascists aren't bold or brave, they're dangerous and disastrous, have we become a wacky combination of stepford/plastics, where did our soul go, didn't make it between the goal posts, colored outside the lines, gender roles demonized, so pronouns are grammatically incorrect, one entity but with a plurality effect, are we challenging too many universal laws, level up from rehearsal applause, covid isolation is over, performing artists holding the weight of the lack of crowds on their shoulders, like the hault was our fault, and the hurdle is impossible to vault, since we aren't making money for other people, talent and musicality nowadays feeble, I'm about ready to quit, even tho I write sing and spit, it doesn't seem to be good enough, and I get no luck or love, how am I supposed to believe in achieving my dreams, seems there's no control where the spotlight beams!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/13/22

Thursday, October 27, 2022

Facts Not Gas

Me and music are transcendent, unlike Lil Nas X I ain't pregnant, those are facts not gas, u can't tell I'm gay by my looks or how I act, I'm not a stereotype, y'all need to get a life, stop focusing on mine, good things take time, so my greatness will take an eternity, wish more men would show maturity, since empathy is lacking, stop choosing what ur attracting, be ur own damn prince charming, the lack of integrity is alarming/disheartening, why can't hip hop grow the fuck up, I'm all about truth equality consciousness and love, perhaps I'm too smart, give too much of my soul and heart, silly me being so foolish, lost in mediocrity's sewage, y'all seem so clueless, feeding capitalism's abusiveness, no more raw talent and skill, will my destiny be fulfilled, or am I living in vain/disdain, just angry from incessant pain, rejection hurts, what if I wore heels a wig and skirt, would I be noticed then, I refuse to be used again, I know my own value and worth, perhaps this is a rebirth, I'm willing to start all over, without the whole globe on my shoulders, cuz I can't fix save or change anything except myself, hope u know I mean no I won't help, cuz when I asked y'all ran away, sorry not sorry I don't pay to play, put ur money where ur mouth is, I'm simply not about to bout or diss, there's room for all to succeed, I have limitless hope faith and belief, at least I'll resiliently get up and try if I fall, blessed be peace and love to all y'all!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/27/22

Thursday, August 11, 2022

If U Don't Read This Do I Even Exist

Perhaps I'm much too deep, take life too seriously, like music and poetry, and of course u know it's me, cuz I whisper Joe Conscious or end with peace and 1, I don't make art for fun, it's a necessity, always give the best of me, I feel a real responsibility, to u it may seem silly, my legacy isn't willy nilly, I wanna make hearts and souls tingly, and make ya'll think, I'm from Rhode Island so I naturally sink, since we are represented by an anchor, thru art I release my bitterness and anger, questioning everything is a blessing, I stubbornly learn lessons, u know the hard way, no bullseye in my dart game, but can nail the last cup in beer pong, masterfully can clear gravity bongs, of sheer lung butter, do u hear all the sarcastic puns uttered, or do u gloss over lyrics, like weird dicks, that's people not parts, avoid swimming with sharks, in sheep clothing, where wolves pretend their owls all wise and knowing, only reading this, u know im talking about shit that exists, not from a full moon, some cow jumped over in a cartoon, can u visualize my imagery, or am I too shticky icky and gimmicky, it goes above ur head, will I even be remembered when I'm dead?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/11/22

I Am Me

When I take a second glance, I suck at grabbing that chance, I've been unlucky in love, mostly cuz I never felt good enough, now I'm filled with regret, still don't think I'm a safe bet, but maybe that's ok, perhaps that's my punishment for being openly gay, I've got the best family and friends, and the support from my fans never ends, I see how lucky privileged and blessed I truly am, so I'll be as grateful as I can, tho my story is far from over, it's time to take the world off my shoulders, and just be, I'm so proud and thankful I am me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/11/22

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Like It Or Not

I'm in a black frat but not a union, I'm a confirmed nonpracticing catholic who occasionally receives communion, I'm an og outsider, too genuine to be a liar, even by omission, why do I need approval or permission, esp moving more in silence, killing haters with kindness, but most of all success, I'm blessed for always doin my best, simply out of love not fortune or fame, I take life seriously cuz it's not just a game, we only get one shot, like it or not, no man is an island, so stop wilin, learn to get along, but most importantly listen to my songs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/31/22

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Isn't Truth Love

I'm a Gemini guy, with a dark side, cuz of don't say gay, and the reversal of roe v wade, gone backwards in time, money decides where the spotlight shines, miss the bliss of raw talent, no race can claim success's patent, I feel so excluded, by an industry completely corrupt diluted and polluted, classless unpoised both black and white noise, artists sold souls by choice while labels just exploit their voice

Ain't trying to hate nor appropriate cuz it's all love
Can't pray gay away y'all so help this homo bro up...like hip hop does 
Tho times are tough somebody should still give a fuck
Afterall isn't truth love

Do y'all even agree with Mike, it don't matter if ur black or white, racism exists in R.A.P. today, plus homophobia from the anti gay straights, based on ignorance or religion, numb and complacent from caucasian prison, ain't appropriating hating, just greatening my music making/creating, paying homage to the greats who came before, Lauryn Hill Mariah and Tupac Shakur, plus oh so many more, it's an authentic true legend's lyrical essence I adore for sure

Ain't trying to hate nor appropriate cuz it's all love
Can't pray gay away y'all so help this homo bro up...like hip hop does 
Tho times are tough somebody should still give a fuck
Afterall isn't truth love

Hurt people hurt people, not all whites are evil, let me be that guy, who exudes the epitome of ali, our revolutions cross paths/perhaps overlap, a unicorn is hard to grasp, only share ur opinions if asked, whenever I unmask many snicker scoff and laugh, shouldn't assume I'm a stereotype, experience can't be wrong or right, working on learning it's ok not to always be liked, still will love and cherish all colorful forms and walks of life

Ain't trying to hate nor appropriate cuz it's all love
Can't pray gay away y'all so help this homo bro up...like hip hop does 
Tho times are tough somebody should still give a fuck
Afterall isn't truth love

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

The New American Creed

There's so much behind the scenes, that y'all just don't see, today I feel the devil's got a hold on me, are we even free, why can't we just be, corporate capitalism takes the lead, at the expense of the needy's need, the rich are obsessed with greed, while the poor can't afford to bleed, nothing is truly as it seems, success isn't earned anymore it's deemed, I'm at the point I don't know what to believe, no matter how much I beg and plead, god just leaves, so I smoke weed, feels like what matters most is words not deeds, shouldn't bite the hand that feeds, all y'all happy illusions are another taunting tease, I'm down on my knees, praying for relief, from all the recent grief, fuck world peace,  if it ain't in the streets, can't stand another second minute day or week, of being a gay white rapper/kinky freak, nobody pays attention when I speak, so I'm forced to take a seat, face defeat, yet smile at a meet and greet, while trying to help my heart beat, not sure if it's a full moon or the heat, healthy food's too expensive to eat, and everyone's caught up trying to lie steal and cheat, cuz that's the new american creed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/19/22

Seems The Devil Has Won

I let fear silence me, stop the violence please, I keep hurting myself, not asking or accepting help, I worry about money, and how I take life so serious it's not even funny, I have such a dry sense of humor, don't believe the gossip and rumors, I ain't perfect, probably not even worth it, when I look back, all I see is what I lack, instead of a brave soul, time sure takes a toll, where did all my courage go, I have trouble ebbing with the flow, cuz I'm such an antagonistic prick, stubborn and thick, full of passion and drive, but totally ungrateful to be alive, cuz it feels like hell on earth, according to the bible and Shakespeare we are tragic sinners at birth, it's hard to see the beauty after trauma, now that it's just me and mama, our roles reversed, losing her will hurt the worst, but it's inevitable, I hope I haven't made my heart impenetrable, cuz I need love to replace what I've lost, inheriting great wealth but look at the cost, I'd trade it all to redo life again, I didn't realize my sister's life would abruptly end, I can't seem to heal, doesn't even seem real, I suck at love, despite I give great hugs, I often don't think I'm enough, yet my resilience makes me tough, only one left of my immediate blood, I think god loves to rub my face in the mud, he could solve my problems in an instant, it's mostly good luck I'm missing, ever gone compliment fishing, prayer isn't wishing, god ain't no genie, suck on my not so teeny weeny, cuz I'm done, the devil seems to have won! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/19/22

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Hypocrite Near Rhymes With Idiot Right?!?

I love u but I dont need u, do I need to repeat that dude, I love u but I don't want u is even worse, but my words won't hurt, unless u let them, respect son, it's earned I've learned I subscribe to the motto live and let die, let's get high, always always always question why, then why not, give everyday all u got, cuz we only got one life, that comes with endless hardship trauma and strife, still I try to spread truth consciousness love and light, nothing really matters unless u make it...and ya can't fake it...I'll say it again...nothing really matters unless y'all make it, the only truth I've ever known I experienced the lie, believe me as a masculine acting undercover homo lil bro Joe Prince Charming on the verge of king gay guy, I get u boo, I'm human too, rather humble bashful introverted and shy, when I'm not hiding or vibing behind a mic, u might like how Lauryn sang nothing even matters at all, but fuck all y'all hip hop haters like fuck cancer, where's the fair accountability apologies and answers, is it get what u give or give what u get, either way we gotta remember we're wicked blessed, simply for the reason ur breathing another day, action ur passion u can't pray pain away, I totally agree we need to separate church and state, they can easily reverse this reversal of roe v wade, otherwise how can any of us celebrate freedom this Independence Day?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/4/2022

Friday, July 1, 2022

Never Give Up Or Quit

I keep forgetting who I am, don't think anyone can understand, my struggle is privileged, but most couldn't have lived it, my grass is green for sure, but how do I keep my hope and faith pure, I'm tired of being resilient, sometimes my rhymes might be too brilliant, y'all can't handle the raw truth, some say it's uncouth, better to be pc, fuck drag I wanna rap and sing as just me, why all the sequins and glitter, I'm proud to be short bald and thicker, I'm still sexy as hell, I don't need extra whistles and bells, I hate all the shticks, and slapstick gimmicks, where has true talent gone, repetitive mumble rap is just wrong, love when fans sing along with my songs, I believe lines should be drawn, time to raise the bar, set higher standards and par, accept everyone for who they are, ignore the flaws and scars, look beyond the superficial surface, my smile often hides this worthlessness, we forget quick, that no matter what...never give up or quit!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/2/22

Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Happy Pride

All this month people ask what pride means to me, to sum it up it's self love and genuine unconditional authenticity, even tho at times it seems impossibly hard, to feel seen and heard for being exactly who u are, it's so so necessary and invaluable, sure superficiality is malleable, but ur identity is not defined by who u sleep with, finding love can seem like a mountain peak of a secret and the hill to climb is the steepest, yet it is totally worth it, after all isn't love life's truest purpose, no matter if ur lesbian gay trans pan or straight , we all have hearts that bleed and beat the same, love transcends, while also powerful enough to heal and mend, even the most vulnerably broken, pop ur perspective bubbles remain humble keeping ur minds and eyes wide open, visibility is extremely important, society must keep continuing evolving morphing forward, I relentlessly try to spread truth love consciousness and light, break down boundaries and fight presumptuous stereotypes, absolutely none of us are less, let's take the time to talk uncensored sex, may as well say gay, cuz u ain't able to pray it away, and being inclusive, shouldn't feel intrusive nor elusive, tho we won the marriage battle the war for equality is far from over, publicly hug hold hands kiss and provide a comforting shoulder, when we know better we gotta do better, united together we can conquer and weather, this is my own home city's 4th step in the right direction, since we all deserve representation affection and protection, I'm real lucky honored privelaged and blessed, cuz my Cranston Rhode Island family friends and fans are simply the best, supporting this openly gay rapper singer songwriter and poet on his crazy journey, to ultimately discover and learn me, if u take away anything today please, come follow my lead, while our rainbow flag's raised waves and flies high, nobody's allowed to be bullied shamed or forced to hide, how about we join together as allies, let's give a great big round of applause for all y'all for coming out to celebrate and show Pride!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/7/22

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Truth Ain't Pleasant

I gave up on writing, like I did fighting, lost the strength, to go the length, follow what I believe in, dismissed what I'm achieving, with every song I created, like a newborn I'm elated, what a beautiful gift, meant to help uplift, the whole globe, with all my heart and soul, afterall music transcends language, soothes the pain and anguish, when ur feeling lost and alone, blast the radio get stoned and in the zone, til all ur problems melt away, u find urself unafraid, ur focus changed, altho some lyrics are strange, ain't no rhyme or reason, mumble rappers committing treason, where's the rhythm and poetry, whether woefully or hopefully, we need passion and purpose, instead of gangsters promoting drugs and murders, not doing me any favors, acting like ur average Joe next door neighbor, the people want other worldly, why has gay become synonymous with girly, I hate stereotypes and assumption, we have forgotten the power and responsibility of consumption, I know the truth isn't always pleasant, but like Whoopi got the Sister Act 2 class to sing "better wake up and pay attention"!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/18/22

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

My Rhyme Grind

One day at a time, trying to get back on my rhyme grind, hopefully 40s will be my prime, gotta grow a spine, leave all the drama and bs behind, pay no mind, be kind, everything will be just fine, don't let love make u blind, my shine ain't a crime, smoke some weed and unwind, open ur minds eye to see the sign, as an empath I can't always define what's urs or mine, should draw a more definitive boundary line, and remember ur body is ur one and only temple/shrine!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
5/18/22

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Lift Each Other Up

Beat by Jon Bobbi
Chorus written and sung by Erin Oliviera
Rap written and performed by Joe Conscious

Chorus
Another day another grind 
In a world that's so unkind
Always racing here and there 
To get ahead...nobody cares
What if we looked around 
And helped each other out
Love always wins when we lift each other up

I'd rather ride solo than die over fomo 
This mofo of a homo's social and approachable
Totally toke a bowl 
Drop a dope flow 
In case y'all don't know I go by Joe
Or MCJC/The Poet
Gonna get my Grammy winning game going
Exploding bicoastaling and globe trolling
Til I'm controlling all the charts
Cuz my hip hop's 
Straight gay from the heart
Lyrically and spiritually smart
Add my music to ur kart
Show us indy artists working the hardest love
Cuz we need to help lift each other up
So lost and sold
Logo'd cookie cutter molds
No one's revolutionary bold
Just intentionally discriminate distant and cold
Miss this happiness bliss of hugs and hand holds

Chorus
Another day another grind 
In a world that's so unkind
Always racing here and there 
To get ahead...nobody cares
What if we looked around 
And helped each other out
Love always wins when we lift each other up

I open up my eyes 
To realize life's strife and grind
U can't buy or rewind time
I find dropping a rhyme
Live on a dime's
When I truly Shine Thru
Look how me and Erin do 
We're better together
I'll never forget her
With the voice of a soulful angel
Style's intertwined entangled
Beautifully groovy moving 
And soothing to all humans
Mending mindbending transcendent 
It's pretty damn evident
Two or a few's greater than one
Music can have a healing feeling yet be meaningful and fun
Put down ur guns
Use ur lungs
To shout ur bout
Pay it forward helping someone else out
We're all fathers and mothers sisters and brothers
Only suckers stay stuck in the ghettos and gutters
Those magical moments that matter most happen during supper
Remembering it's deeds not words so please it's worth the work to be another unconditional lover/lifter upper hustler

Chorus
Another day another grind 
In a world that's so unkind
Always racing here and there 
To get ahead...nobody cares
What if we looked around 
And helped each other out
Love always wins when we lift each other up

Monday, January 3, 2022

"There's Got To Be A Way"

 

Been practicing acting that I'm a good loser, funny how cliche the abused becomes the abuser, enormously handling life poorly, feeding the feeling of poor me, wasting so much energy, fighting the frenemy envy/jealousy, it sucks and is fucked up, how most lgbtqa don't know real friendship community or love, my experience isn't the norm, always been an outsider trying to conform, out of sheer loneliness, wish I could cure fear and phoniness, I'm an old school genuine gentleman, humbly both sexy and intelligent, just not everybody's cup of tea, lost my self respect living to people please, forgetting I too am valuable and worthy, I'm terrified y'all want to hurt me, claiming I'm one of those white privileged gays, here to just steal and appropriate, like one race owns hip hop culture, I ain't a snake shark or vulture, but I do love Mariah Pac and Lauryn Hill, absolutely will stand on my talent passion and skill, I don't want to do anything else, music's therapeutic soothing and really helps, in fact it saves my life each and every day, go look up "Everything Is Everything" "Unconditional Love" and "There's Got To Be A Way"!

Peace and 1,
MCJC/The Poet
1/3/22