I let fear silence me, stop the violence please, I keep hurting myself, not asking or accepting help, I worry about money, and how I take life so serious it's not even funny, I have such a dry sense of humor, don't believe the gossip and rumors, I ain't perfect, probably not even worth it, when I look back, all I see is what I lack, instead of a brave soul, time sure takes a toll, where did all my courage go, I have trouble ebbing with the flow, cuz I'm such an antagonistic prick, stubborn and thick, full of passion and drive, but totally ungrateful to be alive, cuz it feels like hell on earth, according to the bible and Shakespeare we are tragic sinners at birth, it's hard to see the beauty after trauma, now that it's just me and mama, our roles reversed, losing her will hurt the worst, but it's inevitable, I hope I haven't made my heart impenetrable, cuz I need love to replace what I've lost, inheriting great wealth but look at the cost, I'd trade it all to redo life again, I didn't realize my sister's life would abruptly end, I can't seem to heal, doesn't even seem real, I suck at love, despite I give great hugs, I often don't think I'm enough, yet my resilience makes me tough, only one left of my immediate blood, I think god loves to rub my face in the mud, he could solve my problems in an instant, it's mostly good luck I'm missing, ever gone compliment fishing, prayer isn't wishing, god ain't no genie, suck on my not so teeny weeny, cuz I'm done, the devil seems to have won!
Joe Conscious
7/19/22
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