Silly Willy Nilly Vs Chilly Nitty Gritty Hilly & Grizzly

Another hard chapter coming to a close, the harsh reality of aging blows, but like I've said before that's life, timing just never seems right, each minute of every day's a fight, can both past and future be bright, what about now, I have absolutely no clue how, I will survive, let alone thrive, continue to consistently strive, trying to keep the high five alive, celebrate small victories, taking on other peep's responsibilities willingly is silly, so many navigating willy nilly, while my roads are all chilly nitty gritty hilly and grizzly, my resilience gets persistently challenged, if love ain't enough then neither is talent, tho ur efforts may be valiant, and u could even be a father fucking stallion, there is no guarantee, why can't we live for free, perhaps it's a natural dichotomy that we'll never be equal, it's a neverending battle between men vs women and good vs evil!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/30/23

Stay Steady Between Heavy & Catchy

I'm always trying, to navigate that fine line, stay steady, between heavy and catchy, nobody likes preachy, nor cheesy, just be authentic and genuine, why can't I be rap's middle class college grad non effeminate gay gentleman, not that my sexuality matters, I'd rather get ahead of the gossiping assumption judgment and chatter, most don't expect it, plus I'm overly cautious and protective, like it's my dirty lil secret without the guilt and shame tho, love sex games but I ain't no fame ho, not a snake shark or crab, life's become numb overrun by a zombie vampire attack, perhaps I'm so magical, it's almost actual/palpable, but is it palatable, presenting ghetto gangster wouldn't be factual nor practical, cuz I suck at faking shit, make many mistakes a bit, guess I'm another stubborn italian, a fun loving talented stallion, who can rock the mic, bringing both naughty and nice!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/27/23

Almost 3 Years & Still Doesn't Feel Real

My sister would've been 45, if she were still alive, she was such a bright light, always on my side whatever I might fight, she was a huge influence and inspiration, can't seem to maneuver her losses integration, especially dealing with mom, who's tough love is actually toxic harm, I'd trade my life for hers, why is everybody so concerned Joe works, like 2 bachelors degrees a paralegal certificate and life insurance license isn't enough, writing poetry and music is extremely tough, I don't know anyone else with 2 albums released, why aren't people beloved until deceased, I feel forgotten and neglected, definitely not supported nor protected, if heaven even exists, how could they allow shit to unfold like this, it's ridiculous, almost insidious, and I'm the bad guy, cuz I get high, just trying to escape, all this grief pain and hate, apparently I'm to blame, discounted and shamed, since I'm 41 and refuse, to be mentally emotionally and spiritually used and abused, no one understands what I'm goin thru, would u persistently try knowing ull lose, cuz that's how I feel, it's been almost 3 years and Gia being gone still doesn't seem real!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/22/23

Gladly Sporadically Happy Badly In Cali

Never could trim the fat, had to have surgery to fix that, snowballing into severe gout, and then the hypocrisy spouts out, everytime u criticize my bad habits, I just have to walk away and laugh at it, but u ain't ever changing ur ways, like I can't stop being artistic nor gay, but yet I must always compromise, surrender my boundary lines, automatically, all nostalgically, the very definition of family, is straight insanity, pun intended, if I said it I meant it, won't sugarcoat shit, don't even gloat a lil bit, humble modest and honest to a fault, wish my need to people please would halt, put me first finally, cuz the worst rivalry, I have is with myself, took me forever learning how to ask for help, wealth has nothing to do with money, guess the best place to live if ur poor's where it's mostly sunny, like Biggie I'm goin back to Cali, since they'll gladly have me, even if it's only sporadically, I just wanna be happy badly!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/21/23

Don't Pass On That Ass & Grass

They say this too shall pass, but this shit's kicking my father fucking ass, gotta play the game, go my own way unashamed, no shade I hate fake, humans make mistakes and break, fallible by nature, be a frequent masturbator, release that sexual tension, everybody's desperately starving for attention, but not for the right things, when evil wins the battle begins, it's time that good stand up to fight, I demand y'all share more of ur love and light, stop being so shady and funny, with life advice and money, give without expectation or conditions, the level of selfishness hoarding and greed is sickening, we all need each other, since it's one overpopulated planet filled with dysfunctional fathers mothers sisters and brothers, and we just can't seem to get along, been preaching for years to all to take medicinal hits from blunts bowls and bongs, esp on a high ride with JC, yeah u know me, let's bring about world peace, maybe one day I'll blaze and have my name mentioned amongst hip hop/rap's unique elites!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/15/23 

There's Wisdom In Forgiving

I gotta stop romanticizing life, cuz it's just tragedy and strife, it shouldn't be this hard or sad, I'm so hurt I'm mad, the hypocrisy is real, nobody gives a fuck about how I feel, that's just Joe being dramatic really reaching, parenting isn't teaching, it's all about acceptance unconditional love and support, that means actually help not hoard, u may have the law on ur side, but what u did to me was immorally unethical and simply not right, like I said ull meet ur maker, who knew a mother would be a hater, threaten to disinherit her last remaining child's wild, afterall that has transpired, look what I lost and sacrificed, I have no more appetite, for materialism nor family, who never appreciated nor could understand/stand me, enabling irresponsibility, when it's rather silly, I'm quite intelligent frugal and savvy, if u need some financial planning assistance or guidance holla at me, I'm a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, constantly trying to stay humble kind non judgmental and forgiving, while still only human, pursuing ruining all that's been cocooning, and handicapping my true power's potential, watch how now I'll spitefully prove to y'all I'm incredibly indespendable on another whole level!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/11/23

My One Wish Is...

It is what it is, so go handle ur business, don't let them diminish or dismiss, what it took to get to this bliss, in a world that won't admit it, nor takes any responsibility for a lil bit, my one wish is people actually give a shit!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/8/23

Revolt Against Humanity's Insanity

It's not the love that's replaced by hate it's the like, jamming out to Tina sanging "I Don't Wanna Fight", realizing I wasn't mad at u it was the whole situation, I'm sorry for breaking and my angry venomous reaction's presentation, I had to self protect, at least match ur disrespect, we can't agree to disagree, so u do u and I'll do me, maybe with time and distanced space, we can heal enough the hurt's somehow magically erased, it's sad this feels like a finite goodbye, and I'm walking away wondering why, it didn't have to end like this, with our powers combined we could've lived in financial security's bliss, just like dad and G wanted for the both of us, unfortunately I'm being forced to only rely on a shit ton of hope and guts, like Trev and I discussed it's my time to lean in and leap, start sowing knowing my value is not defined by how much I inherited and/or vs reaped, but what toxic cycles did I not repeat, do u intend to thieve harm or cheat, the rest gotta give to God, which I am not, remember and accept my own humanity, and revolt against societal normality's insanity!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/7/23

No Hault Retract Or Take Backs

U spoiled then shamed shunned and punished me like a bastard child, the fact that u won't pay me for services rendered then threaten to disinherit me's wild, always told me ud help me while ur alive, forcibly pressured to struggle more to grow and survive but never thrive, cuz of ur tough toxic love I got destructively burnt out, do I truly even have privelage or clout, perhaps my gayness cancels out the whiteness, no money or children to the righteous, means I'm expendably disposable aka waste of life, I think y'all just want a taste of my bright light, and yet I feel guilty, my trauma neglect and pain built me, which means my foundation is resilient as fuck, if it wasn't bad I'd have no luck, I'm stuck in what seems to be an impossible situation, keep and heed ur own judgmental opinion advice and gossiping insinuation, I'm wiser than most, I just don't flaunt brag or boast, but when u burn my bridge, I'm not responsible for becoming crazily hatefully unhinged, I'm simply matching, ur disrespectful boundary line crossing actions, ur fault, once unleashed I can't hault, let alone retract, and absolutely no take backs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/5/22

Reckless Abandon: Fallibly Flawed

A new chapter has already begun, it's called reckless abandon, like a Phoenix burning my path unapologetically, y'all can't keep up with me intellectually, nor emotionally, I'm the problem supposedly, focused on my reaction not the cause, bullying and gaslighting me without pause, enabling irresponsibility, this whole situation is absurdly silly, cyclical insanity, the abuse isn't my profanity, it's her lack of communication and understanding, her manipulation is dastardly conniving and underhanded, we are both victims here, accountability isn't being remotely closely shared, they're all too scared of confronting her, an intervention occurred, I became the danger, essentially told to leave and be a stranger, but only for a lil while and tell us ur plan now, I have no fucking clue how, yet I got this, I lit myself on fire to keep y'all in ur warm fuzzy ignorant bliss, asking me to forgettably let go of the past and trust they're gonna step up, call this just tough love, when the truth is people don't change, and a lifetime of experience remains, I was the only one there thru it all, I am no longer lucky or blessed to have any safety net when I fall, I'm done apologizing cuz of shame and guilt, enjoy drowning in the hollow empty king's diseasy existence u hoardishly built, surrounded by leeches and crabs, hope ur happy with all the stuff u have, goodbye forever, u are the reason we couldn't weather this together, u choose to procrastinate and ignore, unwilling to admit ur simply human/fallibly flawed, desperately in need of some serious help, just no longer from me since u refuse to urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/4/23

I Am Mary Jane Not A Gardner

I love u so much I hate u, like an addicted codependent soul mated fool, I'm ur choice u weren't mine, taking responsibility is fine, but with u it's all one way streets, major hypocrisy, selfishness and hoarding, nobody has been heeding my warning, no more ignoring and procrastinating, I'm done compromising and debating, the time is now, and I have the intelligence and know how, she's gotta give up control, let go especially of pride and ego, and have faith that I'm perfectly capable and able, to make sure we are both forever taken care of safe and stable, but in order for that to happen she must relinquish power, she's the gardner and I'm her last flower, what happens after retirement, we have to adapt to changing circumstances and a new environment, perhaps I grew thru the concrete, being part of a garden isn't guaranteed, I don't know why, only I persevered succeeded and thrived, but I'm done feeling guilty and ashamed, perhaps quite literally the personification of Mary Jane, we ain't the same, neither's about to change, guess pain just comes with gains, may translate into scars but eventually fades and wanes!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/1/23