I don't condone, dogging imposter syndrome, I understand the pressure, embracing being a gay man I can't help but feel lesser, went from being a percieved prince charming to king, the day my dad stopped living, the queen is still alive so she rules the castle, trying to make it as a successful white poet rapper's a major hastle, if we had a black president and Kamala as VP now, what I wonder is how, haven't we had someone like me conquer the hip hop scene, is it cuz I don't come from poverty, I also didn't have a silver spoon, neither girls nor guys look at me and swoon, since I'm simply superficially an average Joe, when in reality a tragic maverick homo bro, tho I wasnt yanked out the closet, there's no trophy that goes to which letter has it the hardest, it's been a long hard road of self discovery, nothing came easy or suddenly, I had to abandon all I ever knew, stopping the hamster wheel insanity and try something completely new, pivot from being an introverted wallflower, to finding my voice identity and power, thru trial and error with lots of failure, music was always my one and only savior, but don't get it twisted I struggle with hope and faith, I'm insecure at times often lacking the patience to wait, submissive but have trouble surrendering, much too raw real and genuine, to pretend I'm something else, building bridges and planting roots helps, I'm finally learning to use my wings, while fine tuning my confidence to proudly loudly rap and sing when live performing, I've elevated and evolved, way past the chance of boos to just oohs awws and wows!
Joe Conscious
8/12/23
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