Some days are better than others, my best friends growing up are still like my brothers, most I met thru soccer, but the biggest shocker, is as we get older, people become harder and colder, anti social and cliquey, I'm left here wondering what's wrong with me, single and never been in love, barely can find cuddles or hugs, affection isn't a finite limited resource, but it seems my only recourse, is sinking down to the level of promiscuous slut, there's way more important things than a good fuck or nut, I'm so damn bored all the time, u shouldn't leave me alone with my mind, it's driven me past crazy, to just plain lazy, totally judgmental about those thot, I can't believe it's been almost two months and I haven't smoked pot, it's kinda weird to be so clear headed, pretty sad how drugs and alcohol are deeply embedded, into our definition of fun, ironic like safety and guns, I think humans are synonymous with fallible hypocrites, sorry not sorry but the tall tale of Jesus is ridiculous, so many inconsistencies and holes, ever played the game telephone, perhaps that's what happened, and leaders in power are banking big laughing, demoralizing women Muslim and gays, telling us to pray the sin away, using fear guilt and shame, even the pope's trying to gain fame, everything's a hoax, the truth is cloaked, hidden so deep, seems impossible to make that leap, faith and hope are both lost, how much did the collective soul cost, I don't wanna be all pessimistic negative and preachy, but I can't pretend to be happy fine and dandy or peachy, I'm filled with angst anxiety and very annoyed, constantly questioning what the hell is the point?!
Peace and 1,
JC
3/22/17
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