I try to write like I should pray, at least once a day, but I can run out of things to say I'm afraid, nobody knows the true cost I've paid, hoping my dreams will be accomplished, ya'll would be amazed/astonished, the amount of compromise and sacrifice I've made, instead of getting fucked up drunk or laid, I did the responsible thing, those who hold themselves accountable never win, good deeds don't go unpunished, how many more years will go by I'm unpublished, it's not only frustrating but defeating, why would I keep having faith and believing, I come across entitled and ignorantly naive, being conceded and cocky is people's biggest pet peeve, so when it comes to marketing myself, I'm in desperate need of help, apparently everybody lies, to promote and advertise, u gotta sound and appear enticing, fans are fickle with their following and liking, despite having talent, it's hard to strike balance, unfortunately no one is perfect, but every artist has to know they're worth it, passions must be fulfilled, take risks and seek thrills, drive and energy needs to go somewhere, refuse to be ruled by resistance or dumb fear, altho failure's drowning, stage fright can be overwhelmingly harrowing, 2 things to never give up, are happiness and love, tho daunting at times, it's unacceptable taking regrettable haunting bribes, they come back to bite u in the ass, easy street can't lead to high class, don't allow ur soul to be bought, it's not a genuine apology saying sorry cuz u got caught, look at all the obstacles we've fought, who cares if I'm gay white bald fat or short, it has no impact on if I can rap, what's with all the prejudiced hateful attacks, like discrimination is cyclical, why are we all so bitter stressed and cynical, perhaps we work too much, poor robotic slave-like shmucks, completely money hungry it isn't funny, expect a fake disposition of delightfully sunny, but I can no longer pretend, my patience has reached its extent, I'm about to burst bust and explode, life isn't fair I've been repeatedly told, yet what about equality or justice, how do u live off the grid Amishly rustic, that's so outdated, it's practically archaic, welcome to the 21st century, will success be a part of my fate/destiny, or is my persistence pointless, enough of this dead ended annoyingness, my path forward or upward is perpetually blocked, window's the only option when all doors are locked, an illusion of choice, been using my deep voice, to say something of value with meaning, my existence has to have a reason, doesn't it, I should be running shit, at least in the hip hop game, these ghetto gangsters are mumbling and lame, it's a troubling shame, can u find humbling in fame, popularity is misleading, society is in need of more listening and reading, instead of ignoring and watching, after all comprehension and understanding are very important!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
1/10/18
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