Don't Bow Down Amaze & Wow

My smile's been bright meaning I'm dead on the inside, a cross between numb and disenfranchised, I no longer believe in monogamous love, I just don't think one person is satisfyingly enough, not that I'm a slut by any mean, but gay guys get consumed by lust and are sex fiends, no judgment, after a breakup it's hard not begrudging, I'm resentful feeling duped and angry, remembering good times only vaguely, believe our whole relationship was a con, so much left unsaid it's impossible to simply move on, I wanna hurt him so bad, he's the definition of a fag, he would always annoyingly nag, had no compassion when I told him about my dad, he just spews false accusations and lies, not once did he ever pull his weight or compromise, his communication skills were childish at best, I hope he's hexed, and karma comes back around, the abuse I endured was profound, defending myself was insulting to him, he has no trust super paranoid emaciated and thin with his eyes sunken in, heroine chic, his bad habits and behavior's on repeat, I must accept defeat, perhaps it's finally time to leave, go back out into the world to explore, there's just got to be more, otherwise existence just sucks, really could use some good luck, cuz my soul is unfulfilled, why is hip hop and rap so talentless and unskilled, what happened to meaningful inspirational lyrics, the truth is inevitable don't fear it, we only live once, watch out for fake assholes and cunts, they're everywhere, will pretend to care, until ur of no use to them, I won't fall for a recovering alcoholic junkie again, a year was way too long enough, he's my drug that I've got to give up, he's a manipulative illusion, overwrought by dementia or delusion, never takes responsibility for being or doing wrong, thinks he's a pro at music when he hasn't written a song, I feel like an outcast outsider and I don't belong, wish I had a stadium full of fans singing along, connecting relating and vibing, trying to spark mental rioting, forcing people to actually think, how can common sense and rationality go extinct, gotta put on my brave face, show some humbled dignity class and grace, won't succumb to revenge or violence, nor bow down to ur royal highness, we were all created equal, stop being ignorant slave-like robotic sheeple, have a mind of ur own, don't allow scumbags or trash in ur hearts and homes, let them take themselves out, learning to pick my bouts, don't know when but somehow, I'll succeed achieve amaze and wow, while he's left behind, I hope Leona was right when she sang "it all gets better in time"!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious

5/1/18