Trying & Striving To Grow My Flow

With u all I get, is resentment and neglect, I don't normally regret but I do u, I'm such a hopeless romantic fool, a naive tool u use, humiliate and emotionally abuse, when it's convenient or helpful to u and uve got something to gain, u ate my whole cake like it was some competition/game, fuck fortune and fame, there's still so much suffering and shame, from religious persecution being gay, I'm wicked fearful and afraid, I hate how I don't fit in, I'm too jadedly spiteful to be so forgiving, feel and care way too much, I can't decide whether I want financial success or love, cuz i only see and meet unavailable people, who lie cheat steal and are straight up evil, business men with no heart or soul, I need thicker skin and patience if I'm gonna achieve my lofty goal, I believe and have hope for both, should stay steady and slow, cuz I may be a short bald homo bro, but I sure can spit some intelligent shit u know, with a hint of sarcastic wit and consciousness too tho, passionately driven trying and striving to grow my flow, practice makes perfect that's why I'm always working and rehearsing and it shows, should learn to better enjoy the ride of those highs and lows, life's a metaphorical seesaw or roller-coaster that's just how it goes!

Peace and 1,
JC
1/10/16