Hit the nail on the head when u said I'm constantly seeking approval, getting everyone to like and love me may not be doable, can u be too smart to ever be happy, I don't want to portray I hate life cuz it's unfair pointless and crappy, someday my turn will come, trust I won't forget all of u or where I come from, I don't even know how to walk away, still getting over the shame of being gay, it's my own insecurity, why don't I feel worthy, how do I get to where I want to be, it takes a giant leap of faith and unwavering belief, I often wish kids today had more incentives, to fulfill their passionate dreams and be creative/inventive, where are all the entrepreneurs, I shouldn't be labeled selfish spoiled or greedy cuz I still want more, is having both love and financial success possible, please at least acknowledge it's only improbable, don't crush me like that, u claim to have my back, there's a big difference between teach and help, I really don't want to beg grovel cry scream or yell, I'm too tired and don't know how to help myself, I need someone with extreme wealth, cuz this working a 9 to 5 job aint cutting it, I can't make enough to save shit and be gluttonous, I simply want enough to live comfortably, my poetry and music means something to me, it's hard not to take it personally, when the whole world only sees the old version of me, remember we all have regrets and failed plans, u never know what someone's going thru but a lots left up to luck and chance, stop overanalyzing what other's think and just dance, imperfection and fallibility are embodied in the very definition of man!
Peace and 1,
JC
12/17/15
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