Decisions decisions, I'd talk about it but I don't want ur constructive criticism/opinions, it's hard enough with the voices in my own head, life is unbearable so I smoke weed all the time instead, my nerves are shot from always being on edge, feel like a dog constantly playing a pointless game of fetch, I'm just gullibly dumb and fall for the same old tricks, I'm surrounded by crazy chicks and religious hicks, there are only a chosen few, I'm actually attracted to, unfortunately 9 times out of 10, they're straight or simply want to be friends, men want to get off with no attachment emotion or feelings, in essence ur cheating lying and stealing, saying what I wanna hear is teasing, leading me on with benefits ull be the only one reaping, yet expecting me to be at ur beck and call, yeah ur definitely sexy and all, but i still gotta get mine, ur flakiness is the reason I bitch and wine, I've fucking had it, with all these slutty selfish and greedy faggots, why does finding love have to be so hard, no matter how much I pray or wish upon a star, the harsh reality is, I have the sexual mentality of a kid, I'm looking for genuine good connection, someone who can give me some stability safety and protection, this world is impossible to conquer alone, like Tupac I'm on a quest to have my own "Happy Home", lord give me the patience and faith, are u really strong enough to carry my weight, seems I have absolutely no control, as I grow old my soul goes cold, my heart hardens but my skin hasn't gotten thicker, thank god for nature's lubricants like marijuana shrooms and liquor, does it hurt less if u rip the duct tape off quicker, at this point I'd settle for a great job or smiley face sticker, some sort of acknowledgement I have value or worth, I can't help but wonder if Adam and Eve really did curse us from birth, in that case arent women the root of all evil, and doesnt the story essentially encourage and perpetuate homosexuality people?!
Peace and 1,
JC
6/5/15
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