Friday, August 10, 2018

Having Talent & Skills Doesn't Pay The Bills

Ya'll may scoff and laugh at this, but fuck hope it's way too passive, it gives permission to let someone else do all the work, and creates lazy victimized jerks, who never take action, do u really think another Holocaust can't happen, the divide is growing, evil's face is showing, at least we now know the truth, guess we inherently lean to certain groups, we all want to fit in, win and be thin, but at what cost, when we all are the same individuality gets lost, I like being different and unique, I'm 36 and I've yet to begin let alone piqued, my whole life is ahead, I'll quit when I'm dead, cuz it won't be a choice, it took me a long time to find my voice, first I discovered who I was, had to be brave dig deep testing my balls and guts, it isn't easy following ur own path, we've abandoned our moral compass and lack tact, gone are the days of chivalry and empathy, corporations aren't people they're an entity, we need to get money out of our elections, our government exists for protection, and is supposed to be a public service, nobody is worthless, our vote matters in democracy, I can't stand republican hypocrisy, liberals are far from prefect too, checks and balances are the proverbial glue, keeping ourselves in check, is this Congress' best, cuz it's rather quite pathetic, pay attention to ur rhetoric, yes words hurt, it's ok to curse, as long as it's not unnecessarily excessive, my lyrical content is pretty eclectic sometimes eccentric but always thought provokingly impressive, u just have to listen carefully, I write magically/miraculously, I simply do, unfiltered and uncensored too, let if flow stream of consciousness style, this crazy obnoxiousness is wild, where are the revolutionary artists, it's hardest selling urself when ur naturally genuine humble and modest, where's my Suge Tommy Puffy or Clive, how did the late bloomers like me manage to survive, all those years unnoticed, having to applaud mediocre or straight up atrocious, the spirit of Pac evokes us, cuz we're both Geminis, when did avid hip hop fans become desensitized, rappers were activists, Eminem is sick with his rhyme schemes and adjectives, I know I come of arrogant cocky pompous and pious, and obviously I'm biased, but I've got mad poetry and song writing talent and skills, even tho my performances videos and sales don't pay the bills, I know I still have purpose and value, I work a day job cuz I have to, I'm not rich nor famous, and I'm starting to get incredibly anxious, cuz I deserve a turn, I've fallen been beaten and burned, but every single time I got up healed tried again and learned!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/10/18

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

A Rose That Chose To Grow From Snow

Lead by example not lecture, watch out cuz karma's gonna get ya, after all we get what we give, ur not God so don't judge the way I live, worry about urself, I'm here if I can help, but I'm learning, to focus more on working, even music and poetry is just a hobby, the womb is really hell's lobby, are we fallen angels, perception's different depending on the angles, what happens after death, will I remember regrets, for the next time, there may be reincarnation but no rewind, or is it simply black, for a male I have a decent rack, always getting complimented on my chest, I try to give my all and do my best, that's all anyone can ask, I refuse to wear all the different masks, I've got one face not two, tho that's what Geminis do, see both sides, they're insightful and wise, balancing the extremes, do u ever find urself wondering what it all means, what's life's purpose, why does the universe keep hurting us, or is it self inflicted, I don't like the way gays are depicted, so one dimensional, ur discrimination is intentional, we don't need more hate, the human race could be great, but we implode before we grow, global warming is not a hoax or a joke, we are the biggest contributors, I wanna be a marijuana distributor, or what's called a bud tender, when I think about the amount of money one must render, to just survive, I feel like I don't jive, perhaps I was born in the wrong era, have u ever written urself a letter, I find it helps during reflection, hindsight works for future protection, but there's no such thing as perfection, I wonder who'll be running in the next presidential election, still gotta get thru these midterms, maybe it's the kids turn, let them lead and take control, Bette sings "far beneath the bitter snow", "lies a seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose", funny to think our personalities are based on the birth month we chose, it's been said we pick our parents, I don't believe in jealousy nor arrogance, cuz I'm grateful appreciative and blessed, this journey is filled with trial and error and a lot of hypothesized guess, we're bound to fail and fall, scale those boundaries and walls, breakdown barriers and blocks, don't ever give up or stop, especially on ur dreams, who says u have to be part of a team, I don't need another man to complete me, wish evil would retreat please, they may have won the battle but never the war, someday I hope to take the next step and be an opening act for a major artist on tour!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
8/7/18

Friday, July 20, 2018

Are Ya'll Prepared To Be Wowed Right Now

Not every day has to be about social justice, when it comes to life I feel the need to crush this, I put way too much pressure on myself, when we die we can't take our wealth, so why does how much we accumulate matter, if ur wallet's fatter does that make u happier, or simply less stressed, u don't have to be the best, especially at everything, I readily admit I rap better than I sing, and I'm totally ok with that, don't talk about it behind my back, say it to my face, u fucking waste of a disgrace, I hate flakes and fakes, be a genuine gentleman, I don't care if u did meth or heroine, shit congrats, I'm very mellow nonjudgmental chill and relaxed, look how far uve come instead, don't live as tho ur already dead, enjoy existence more, figure out what ur here for, or ur meaning and purpose, I find I learn more from the things that hurt us, I truly believe it all happens for a reason, people are like seasons, relationships change, best friends become estranged, time space and fate always seem to get in the way, I try not to play victim cuz I'm gay, another white boy appropriating rap, hip hop straight up dumb/whack, I ain't no ghetto gangsta black daddy mack, criticize my talent not who or what I do in the sack, this isn't an attack, I'm trying to fill in where ya'll lack, an original one of kind, a vocabularian mind that loves to rhyme, making u think and feel, u can connect and relate cuz what I'm saying is real, I'm baring both my heart and soul, winning a Grammy and selling out stadiums is my ultimate goal, and I know it's quite lofty, ya'll can snicker and scoff at me, all u want, but expect the middle finger boasting and watch me flaunt, an ear to ear smile, maturity and graceful tact just isn't my style, I'm a condescending sarcastic prick, and can be a big dick, when taken advantage of, u got pacific or atlantic love, I'm torn between the 2, still don't know what I'm gonna do, it depends of if this job becomes perm, waiting's making me squirm like a worm, some say Chicago or bust, moving and starting all over again take cajones strength and guts, but I gotta get out of this depressive rut, test my skills perseverance and luck, it's now or never baby, stop with the ifs ands buts or maybes, make a plan and follow thru, please don't look back with regret too, seize control of this moment right now, perhaps someday ya'll will read my poetry or hear my music in utter awe jaw dropped mind blown and incredibly wowed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/20/18 

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Screw Only America Let's M.E.G.A

Muslims are people too, just like me and u, but they've been demonized lately, discriminated against hatefully, especially after 9/11, to be in the military u don't have to believe in heaven, we fight for freedom of religion, yes there's free speech but not mandatory listening, we think the philosophy of the west is best, I remember back in basic training wondering what will happen next, Afghanistan or Iraq, being deployed was 100% fact, America is made up of shades ranging from white to black, the hardest part was coming back, perspectives change after fighting in war, soldiers aren't above the law, we too struggle fitting in, especially in the beginning, to see or hear injustice but not acting, turn the other cheek as a black man's beat and sexist or homophobic laughing, does the duty to serve and protect ever die, this administration's refugee policy's got me questioning why, this country was built on immigrants, slaughtering natives who were innocents, was one of the worst atrocities in history, finding peace is the most infamous unsolved mystery, it's like the horizon line receding as we approach, I'd imagine a drill sergeant to be very much like my soccer coach, screaming push thru dig deep and no excuses, when one uses nuclear and chemical warfare everybody loses, think back to Hiroshima's destruction, we can't afford democracy's abduction, racial profiling all Muslims as terrorists is disgusting, women wearing hijabs causes major mistrusting, when all u see are eyes, imagine men walking around in a ski mask disguise, in their culture homosexuality is punishable by death, women are so oppressed do they have to ask permission for breath, it's like only pockets of the whole globe evolved, international problems need to be solved, we gotta work together, to make this planet sustainably better, don't fall for presumptuous ignorant stereotypes, it was awkward training our Arab allies how to fight, especially when they look just like our enemy, when u fear for ur own life it's almost impossible to exhibit empathy, u can literally walk in someone else's shoes, but u can't help or save others if they too don't choose, to change takes awareness and conscious effort, the vicious victim blaming chain or cycle needs to be broken and severed, but they gotta do it for themselves, sometimes u must experience rock bottom and the multi levels of hells, to appreciate the fact that we all go thru it, it's about not just talking but actually doing shit, lead by example, let's not let differences prevail and trample, succumbing to divisiveness, this poem is not some gay white privileged diatribe of righteousness, I'm speaking my truth, we need to keep teaching the youth, cuz the future depends on them, aren't ya'll tired of repeating mistakes again and again and again, the only way for humanity to win, is when equality isn't dependent upon sex faith or the color of our skin, we can't pray away hate, let's existentially grow elevate and edit our collective fate, before it becomes way too late, screw only America let's make Earth great!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/19/18

Friday, July 13, 2018

Can't Run From The Words Of One Of God's Sons

Been off my meds for a few weeks, I'm anxious to be able to stand on my own 2 feet, which depends on whether I get this perm job or not, I've given it all I've got, been here almost 2 years, but in the business world no one cares, it's just about money, tho I don't sleep on the streets or go hungry, I'm what's called the working poor, I find monotonous repetitious routine a robotic slave-like bore, are we collectively greedy at our core, nothing in existence is sure, in the next second I could be gone, where did I go wrong, too many blunts and bongs, overshared in my crappy songs, why do I always feel unfulfilled and a failure, what if I'm another JC the savior, like Nas one of god's sons, I refuse to fight with fists bomb knives or guns, just use words, which can hurt worse, I miss my ex, we were both a mess, neither of us had our shit together, being single I can handle my wits better, I don't like being controlled or owned, when I think back on all I did for u and the hundreds loaned, I should've known then, he'd take every last cent, that's why I wouldn't marry him without a prenup, he can suck on these nuts, if anybody believes they're entitled to my earnings, I'm a gay guy with urges and yearnings, but I have will power and aplomb, Gemini's find moderation doom, we live and find comfort in extremes, nobody at first is what they seem, ur meeting their representative, I can be very passionately argumentative, commonly with Libras, hope ya'll smoke cheeba, cuz the whole globe needs to chill the fuck out, don't divide discriminate hate or bout, can't we all just get along, I'm that judge who'll bang the gong, sending u home a loser, beggars can't be choosers, yet they try, everyone wants a free lunch or ride, imagine ur born rich, or sucking Thor's dick, could u keep it a secret, everybody has potential tho only a random few ever reach it, perhaps we are spoiled and lazy, I bet those royals are crazy, they've got skeletons in their closet too, they're far from humble modest fools, u don't rule without blood on ur hands, how the hell do famous rappers develop die hard fans, I'm envious and jealous, this rat race of a game is hellish, wonder if Trump is the devil in disguise, he's skewed the truth it's the news media that lies, that doesn't even make sense, but I still rather him over Mike Pence, either way we're totally screwed, we'll probably wind up like Holocaust Jews, which concentration camp are u from, unfortunately with Big Brother there ain't no place to hide or run!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/13/18 

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

A Masculine Valiant Queer's Here

All signs are indicating move, it's been forever since I've been awed or wooed, everybody is the same, so very boring and lame, constantly bitch and complain, but do nothing to change, they expect the world to, sorry not sorry don't like girly dudes, masculine here, a valiant queer, who says chivalry is dead, most don't use their head, and have absolutely no common sense, can u tell me where the time went, seems like yesterday I came back, shouldn't say I hate that, but honestly it was the wrong decision, Rhode Island is a prison, I mainly keep to myself, refuse to ask for help, avoiding certain people, can't focus on the political evil, it's everywhere, and very clear, these are reminiscent of the dark ages, I'm in grieving's final stages, after being FB dumped, dealing with President Trump, fighting with my dad, being used and treated bad, by every single job I've ever had, makes me so fucking mad, I'm tired of being taken advantage of, I no longer believe in relationships gay marriage or true love, I've give up, I have no luck, life sucks, super unfair and unjust, I swear Hell is right here on Earth, lost my value and worth, what's the point, spark a blunt or joint, and melt my consciousness away, it's frustratingly obnoxious being gay, bottom of the barrel sub-par human/second class citizen, no one has empathy or listens, we're collectively selfish, can't all be rockstars like Elvis, or crazy long legacies like Pac, wish I was big and built like The Rock, with adoring fans, I really can't understand, how do u become a celebrity, is it only hereditary, I feel excluded, Mother Nature's been polluted, and we won't take any responsibility or blame, I want both fortune and fame, to show young lgbtq, that we can too, break down barriers stereotypes and stupid rules, u won't catch me wearing tiaras or flashy jewels, I'm very humble and modest, genuine and honest, looking for respect, authorities no longer serve nor protect, he was the electoral college elect, not by the general population, we're barely hanging on to democracy's conservation, waiting on a second civil war as well as World War 3, America isn't the home of the brave nor the land of the free, we've more than lost our way, our soul's the price we paid, now we're the global laughing stock, I'm hopeful magic's unlocked, so we can find balance within the force, the window of opportunity is quite short, let's be better, we can accomplish the impossible if we work together!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/11/18

Friday, July 6, 2018

Cursed On The Verge Of The First Purge

I still need help, finding strength and confidence within myself, my level of faith is incredible, my soul's stifled and it's in peril, I just wanna be free to be me, ya'll don't see me weep or my heart bleed, as it's being beaten and destroyed, I'm not some slutty slave-like boy toy, I'm a person, and ur kink shaming is hurting, what about different strokes for different folks, I hate discovering everything u said u experienced and knew was a hoax, I don't need to be persuaded or coaxed, I simply like blokes, in a pair of beaten up skate shoes or trainers, bondage play is a no brainer, sign me up, there's a fine line between sex and love, I want to be controlled not owned, consent is always condoned, and very necessary along with trust, a safe word is a must, never know what can happen, please don't be discourteous and be laughing, especially right to my face, I don't deserve to be ostracized or disgraced, I'm sick of insecure evil people, the amount of ignorance is unbelievable, like electing Trump unlocked and unleashed Pandora's Box, u shouldn't open the door when the devil knocks, look thru the peep hole, to avoid deep woe, what happened to common sense, does anyone even carry cents, I barely have dollars, u from the streets or hobnob with scholars, I prefer the poor, they give more, often at their own expense, fuck impeachment we'd be stuck with Pence, who's a religious extremist, I despise all these billionaire elitists, and what's with all this political correctness, this country's becoming anti immigrant gay black and feminist, talk about oppression, we're on the verge of world wide depression, the worst one yet, God blessed the dead, cuz the living are cursed, bringing to fruition the first purge, hope u know ur value and worth, please watch out and remember the power of words, I recently forgot and said some awful stuff, to my first true adult relationship/soulmate/love, and no amount of apologies will cut it, I regret a lot of dumb shit, I didn't mean any of what I said, I lost my cool and my head, I was so angry and upset, he never came correct, expected respect without leading by example, my desire to open up and date again has been trampled, I wanna be alone, make my own kinky home, a nice safe space, I'll do whatever it takes, I won't be stopped nor concerned by the tick tock, and damn sure won't let my life and timing be dictated by some man made concoction called a clock!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
7/6/18