Tired of ur web of lies, playing games but why, what are u trying to hide, uve already crossed my line, coming close to the point of no return, u say I don't listen but u don't learn, criticizing doesn't help, take a look at urself, instead of focusing all ur energy on me, judgmental judy, I forget ur perfect, I used to think we were worth it, but now perhaps it's just a waste of time, I get no credit for trying, while making all the effort, stop victimizing ur lesser, with endless pity parties and guilt trips, buying captain half pints or fireball nips, not to mention all u drink at the bar, ur negativity is leaving scars on my heart, my soul is starting to believe I'm evil, ur ostracizing me away from family friends and other gay people, cuz u say it's them u don't trust, no matter what I do for u it's never enough, constantly gaslighting and fighting, head biting and griping, with the same old excuse, reeling from what I've produced, so ur unaccountable, not ever responsible, like I'm the source of all ur preexisting problems, who's perpetually been bottom, u knew full well, I was kinky as hell, but u mislead, u barely cuddle with me in bed, and when u finally do it's a chore, I won't dare ask for anything more, but I also refuse to give, how dare u control the way I make money or live, no more smoking in my car, or driving to Fall River cuz it's too far, the ball's in ur court now so it's ur turn, making magic happen isn't easy to discern, since u can't drive or have a home of ur own, I hope u enjoy being alone, sorry not sorry if I'm being an ass, here's the space u wanted and asked, we will see how much this relationship means to u, maybe ull notice everything I do, instead of acting like a shameful ungrateful and hateful fool, I expect an amazing apology too, cuz u repeatedly take me for granted, super sneaky and underhanded, simply using me as an escape, just like if u give consent it's not rape, I did what I had to in self defense, u don't acknowledge ur part or repent, thought u were heaven sent, but ur always twisting what I meant, u keep putting on this act, make up delusional facts, constantly putting words in my mouth, initiating bickering bouts, especially thru text messages, loving partners wouldn't threaten the one he supposedly cherishes, to try and damage or ruin their reputation, the 22nd should be a day of celebration, instead it's a reminder of my biggest mistake made, this time I promise I won't give in or cave, u dug ur own grave, and I can't save the depraved, I'm putting myself first, despite it hurts, when it comes to love I'm cursed, in music and work I'll immerse, since it's a productive distraction, I won't ever be comfortable being a fraction, a half instead of whole, I'm recapturing the peace and laughter tho, the piece of happiness u stole, all u ever did was make me feel I had to change u know, never accepting or appreciating me for who I truly am, and I'll be damned to be destroyed by the dreaded scam man, u had plenty of chances, to not relate me to ur past bad romances, ur way too paranoid possessive and insecure, accusatory and unsure, we're both hardcore poor, and better off having nothing to do with one another anymore !
Peace and 1,
JC
9/18/17
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