Demanding Empathy & Understanding

Totally get u can't mindread, but why don't I find guys who see thru me, I no longer can play the game when I'm not naive to it, shouldn't blindly abide by and agree to stranger's rules and shit, just cuz they say so, most y'all are projecting illusions u know, can't claim ur a Master as a slave urself, it's so frustrating how much I can give but never get help, empathy or understanding, must come across as crazy impatient too intense and demanding, nobody cares at all what I think or feel, god damn man this fucking Gemini struggle is real!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

12/6/24

The Seperate Effort

U can be 2 3 or more things at the same time, don't just reply ur fine, when ur really not, but then preaching it's ok not to be ok needs to stop, remember deeds not words, inaction complicity and neglect hurts worse, so much fakeness, being consumed by greed and hatefulness, we lost our way, don't call me a faggot cuz I'm gay, guess I'm not ur cup of tea, I'm pretty easy to read, I'll even give u the key to me for free, did y'all know the highest vibration is authenticity, perhaps I'll remain permanently single, since most don't give me butterflies chubbys or the tingle, getting tired of making all the effort, having to keep love and sex separate, I'm not looking to be owned, I just wanna create a family and a happy home!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

12/5/24

A Gemini Goodbye

My effort has come to an end, u officially miss out on a gay best friend, letting opportunity pass by, simply out of pride, it's ur loss, not even a coin toss, I win either way, totally unafraid, in fact I'm excited for this next chapter, I'm creating my own happily ever after, filled with chosen family, if I can speak candidly, most don't deserve my light and love, when it comes to time there's never enough, life's all choice and consequence, I'm done with too intense, perhaps ur just insufficient, ur toxicity is malignant, good luck/journey, cuz now unfortunately there's no chance to earn me, that's the thing with us Gemini, really mean it when we say goodbye!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/29/24

Happy Moses Thanksgiving

Today I got to celebrate with the Moses family, and boy do they do a holiday grandly, so much love, helps get thru the tough stuff, I'm not only thankful, but tremendously grateful, thru the day to day, sometimes it's hard to find our way, that north star if u will, remember to just stand still, cherish these precious moments, never too late to make atonement, it's important to keep on living, hopefully have an amazing and happy Thanksgiving!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/28/24

Not God's Plot Dead Ahead

I want to write something inspirational, this year I am extremely grateful, despite being overwhelmed with grief, I'm like a green leaf, burning slowly, can a gay guy be holy, if not, what's God's plot, do we exist in vain, these historical cycles are insane, like a hampster wheel, it ain't how u feel but deal, defined by our reactions, imagine actually faxing, a divine higher power, heard to talk to a flower, it'll help it grow, do u think food knows, it's about to be eaten, focus on sleeping, and ur teeth, the future shouldn't be bleak, the best is still ahead, stop saying ull rest when dead, it's just so toxic, workaholics gotta get conscious, are y'all existing or living, cuz time is consistent giving unforgiving!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/27/24

In It Til We're Finished

Doin some shrooming, helped with my doom and glooming, it's totally understandable u know tho, from now on I only grow alone, trying not to be so stoned all the time, got to a place I'm able to say I'm fine, and truthfully mean it, keep fallen victim to Satan and his demons, yes I too am a fallible human I guess, perhaps y'all don't see the depressed and stressed hot mess, maybe u think I'm too blessed, hide behind sarcasm and jest, but I believe that's more ur truth, which unfortunately is both tragically sad and uncouth, pretty plain ugly, don't fucking hug me, frictioning negativity, they're sucking ur energy/spirit silly, gaming dude, is draining u, disengage and give space, separate and get away, cuz if we wallow within hate and stay stuck in it, we're ultimately just fucked finito or finished!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/25/24

Buck Up & Embrace Grace

Buck up for what, I've simply had enough, all this superficial uninterestingness is killing me, like literally, I'm way too deep for shallow, my light fights shadow, but in these overwhelmingly darker times, when I'm torn between hearts or minds, to try to connect with, this level of empathy and care doesn't feel like the best gift, in fact it's more of a curse, gay love hurts, and I wonder if it's even real, being a chameleon is ur shield, instead of wielding my sword, inheriting this life was something I never could afford, it is kind of upsetting, probably coming across as tho I'm rejecting/neglecting my blessings, need to surrender accept and embrace, stop giving away what I should hold onto...grace!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/23/24

Wise Lies Help Myself

Now that I'm back in RI, wish to be both out of sight and mind, I just can't handle this, lose hope for happiness joy and bliss, I miss my whole damn family, not many can understand me, what I've been thru in 6 short years, surprised I haven't drowned in tears, so very overwhelmed, feel as tho I ain't even at the helm, forging my own path ahead, curious about what happens next, having no control, is fucking with my soul, trying to stay grateful, when I'm angry and hateful, can't focus on only the positive, always been honest how I live, to my detriment, choice isn't an experiment, annoyed and disappointed, look who y'all anointed, the worst of the pickings, questioning basic existence, no one's listening to the wise, unable to differentiate truth from the barrage of illusion and lies, I'm completely defeatedly fed up, uve barely said it let alone shown love, I desperately need help, but it simply seems I'm on a team all by myself!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/22/24

Eternally R.I.P.

Today there are few words, that could encapsulate this hurt, but I will power thru, just like u taught me to, turning these tears to triumph, til I'm high enough, upon the mountain top, with u Gia and pop, ull be like omg, no silly it's me, simply wanted to say hi, I promise to try to stop asking why, it was all meant to be, y'all are always my family, in or out of our bodies, and truly deeply hope u eternally rest in peace!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/18/24

A Promiscuousness Bender Agenda

With all the phoniness, no wonder I'm consumed with deep loneliness, I know I'm not the only one authentic, but the level of fakeness is demented, add some makeup and a wig, and u can get anyone or thing, that's not a diss on drag, my identity isn't being a fag, yet I embrace that side of myself, wish when I was younger I had help, if I'm being honest I suck at sex, I think I've just been doin it incorrect, didn't know better, that's not how I spent time together, u don't need to fuck to be intimate, hookups are legitimate, maybe I won't want to, because it's u, stranger danger, working on my resentment mistrust and anger, which all stems from pain, I never thought or looked at relationships as a game, I promise I have no agenda, perhaps it's time I go on a promiscuousness bender!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/16/24

U Cool?

My intention of healing and cleansing, has been such a blessing, just getting away helps, happiness doesn't come from wealth, don't tell us to forget the past, u can't get over grief like that fast, until it happens to u, maybe it isn't cool, to even speak on it, peace is iconic, but finding joy and light, employs the fight in life, believe me, it ain't easy, yet there are precious moments, smoking weed eating donuts, have a cheat week or 2, it's called vacation dude, do absolutely nothing, shouldn't throw urself into drinking drugging and fucking, but hey, if that's how u escape, who am I to say that's wrong, I'd prefer to write poetry or a song, there's no one size fits all, please don't expect me to reach out and call, that's ur job fam and friends, my strength is spent!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/13/24

Conned On & On By Don

There are sometimes words get in the way, certain occasions don't need u to say, anything in fact, shouldn't talk back, miss me in silence, no man is an island, especially in an over populated world, sure they can own cars and stuff but never girls, her body her choice, I'll whoop u with my voice, enough with this nonsense already, we must remain steadfast and steady, prepared for the fight of our lives, I love the Tupac quote "real eyes realize real lies", so much truth and it's clever, I took off the rose colored glasses to see better, but now I can't put em back on, how does a majority of America not know they've been conned by Don?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/10/24

Creativity & Its Unrelatability

Turns out I'm a liar, constantly dimmed my fire, to people please, I guess I'm weak, since I can't be honest, and be modest, it just doesn't work that way, I don't wanna know ur vote like u don't want my gay in ur face, move in silence, rhetoric can produce violence, songs are spells, we are collectively making earth a level of hell, only after money, hoarding it all abundantly, time's taking energy, disregarding legacy, will corrupt honor, sick of false prophets and martyrs, modern celebrities and fame, have eradicated talent from the game, too many plants, my pockets full of other people's hands, exploiting my creativity, simply because of its unrelatability, I've absolutely finally had enough, will only speak truth cuz it always comes from love!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/9/24

The Dollar's Collar

One man's too much, is another's not enough, never a 50/50 split, trade tat for tit, why don't u rub and lick the nip tip a bit too, hope I'm not rude boo, but mine are hardwired, lyrically lately I'm on fire, can't stop writing, it's like the art is fighting, to spew out, a few bouts, within a single day even, two heads of the same demon, a double Gemini, how bubbled am I, but so is everyone else, while nobody helps, unless it's financially rewarding, heed this severe warning, if money is the root of all evil, what does capitalism mean to the American sheeple, with their almighty dollar, may as well put on ur leash and locked collar, unless ur kept or inept, genuinely direct whether or not u get upset, it's already been said, life's a bitch and then we're dead!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/5/24

Simmer To Glimmer Or Shimmer

So much bad mixed within slivers of good, man is life misunderstood, how we get thru day after day, the caveman way seems far away, now we just live to work/make money, I don't find it funny, the lack of accountability, y'all make lawfullness seem passe or silly, especially in a president, isn't his incapableness evident, I mean really, if we reject Kamala like Hillary, can we openly say we're both racist and sexist, but oh yes The US is the bestest, land of the free and a brave nation, except when it comes to health care and education, hypocritically policing and democratizing globally, discrimination in any form is unholy, intolerance shouldn't be allowed, who u do choose to lead doesn't mean blindly followed, things need to calm down and simmer, have faith and pray love's hope can glimmer perhaps maybe even shimmer!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
11/4/24

Keep Holding On Strong

Adam was absolutely like my brother, just from another mother, losing him 3 days after my sister, wish heaven only had visitors, earth is getting lonely, I'm my one and only, but I constantly think of all of them, and can't wait to be together again, whether family or not I grieve the same, it can be quite difficult to stay sane, with so much concentrated loss, appear to be handling it like a boss, but deep down inside, anger insecurity and resentment resides, since I am actually human, the point to life can be so confusing, seems like endless relentless suffering, and the level of escapism is troubling, shouldn't try to avoid the pain, it doesn't go away but it will eventually wane, it's important to remember we gotta be strong, and no matter what keep holding on!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/31/24

I Decide

Need relief from grief, finally leave it all behind me, focusing way too much on the past, and life flies by so fast to do that, caught up in self reflection, gotta get better with my protection, hold onto precious energy, stop worrying about my legacy, still very young, should lighten up and have more fun, belly laugh and a half, good company is where it's at, forget the journey's important not the destination, can't attack with hesitation, move in silence, enough with violence, and harsh rhetoric, I know I'm a revolutionary heretic, embracing the power of time, maybe meditate and clear my mind, about to go on a getaway, take a break, trying to escape the noise, relocate my own voice, make the right choice for me myself and I, why not live the way I ultimately decide?!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/30/24

Misdirection Projection

Apparently I'm distracting myself with peeps, to avoid dealing with the realities of my extreme grief, I wanna move forward not back, my words often come across as attack, when it's just my internal struggle, my passion can get me into trouble, it's unfiltered and relentless, like focusing on foreign instead of domestic, perhaps it's easier to fix, somebody else's shit, and of course don't forget projection, as well as misdirection, like Taylor "I'm the problem it's me", undoubtedly, but that doesn't excuse u, after all isn't it takes two true, one to give another to take, wish my timing allowed company while I have to not so patiently wait, always riding solo, tired of being told I'm half of a whole and u know yolo!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/29/24

The Sim Him

Enamored by the idea of him, but most I know is just a sim, I don't want to change his mind, wish he'd spend some time, I understand maybe he can't, it's hard to accept a helping hand, we all get busy, still wonder if he even thinks of me, do I inspire a smile or boner, gotten so used to being a loner, I forgot how to let love in, missing a hole for cumming, warm cuddles and hugs, feeling enough, which is silly, since happiness is only my own responsibility, not his, it isn't a diss, choosing someone else, haven't found many who make my heart melt, and that's ok, so hold hope and faith maybe someday, I'll find my guy, learning to take all these near misses in stride!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/28/24

Still Some Stranger Danger

Wish he wasn't such a stranger, can't help but wonder if I'm in danger, kind of addicted, perhaps simply interested, in someone who doesn't reciprocate my feelings, why won't he share his reasoning, maybe I could adjust, or does that make me a schmuck, fuck people pleasing, he's repeatedly teasing, all in good fun, I don't even believe in the one, caught up in protecting, this overwhelming depression from rejection, I wanna be intentional, but not vengeful, cuz I'm hurt, healing takes work, and I'm always willing, sorry not sorry but I'm looking for something deeply fulfilling!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Love's Root/Living Proof Of Truth

Can't write him away, don't take literally what I poetically say, it's feelings in a moment, I'll take accountability and own it, but I'm allowed to evolve and change, despite being hypocritically strange maybe even deranged, cuz I can see my flaws, my words aren't claws, I'm being hard on myself not u, art is a therapeutic tool, helping to analyze my thoughts, but at what cost, if I'm so scary, a hairy fairy, just confusing, when it comes to relationships I'm losing, before any have begun, I'm growing cold closed off and become numb, it hurts whether u want it to or not, sometimes I think most men aren't smart lacking both empathy and heart, unable to differentiate opinion from truth, please let me be love's root/living proof!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Gray Vibez On My Mind

Busy with ur gray vibez, and I just can't get u out of my mind, ur trouble, I want in ur bubble, like Sam says "take ur time", know alone tho I'll be fine, I still want u, it's daunting too, how I'm no closer, to being a ghoster, when I'm not dead yet, am I not a good bet, is there something wrong with me, wanting to sing a song or three, while he paints, I've got such angst, another alpha stepford, not willing to make any effort, what the actual fuck, I really need some better luck, but no reason to stay means go, once I sell my childhood home I'll roam, no doubt trying to forget u, I feel I was too intense of an overzealous fool, constantly wondering what would've should've could've been, and definitely never meant to offend, I don't want either of us to lose, simply wish I was the one ud choose!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

My Forgiveness Is Limitless

Chances aren't endless but forgiveness is limitless, I hate virtual reality's gimmickness, it's so fucking fake, and ur way too late, to make amends, perhaps u should've tried being my friend, it's just that simple, must not be malleable nor nimble, instead stuck in ur ways, I don't fit in with the gays, mostly cuz they're fucked up, especially when it comes to lust vs love, letting both pass on by, the wrong question is why, what happened is better, if u can't say how u feel write it in a letter, that works for me, admit ur a jerk at least, it's the silence that's deadly, already over the fact he ain't ready even for friendly!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/28/24

Deadly Friendly

I'm always gonna be friendly, but one way streets are deadly, I give way too much, in a takers world it's tough luck, especially finding authentic love, about to give up, cuz I'm tired of being heartbroken, perhaps I'm too intensely outspoken, it's awkward and unnerving, when I communicate I'm in pain and hurting, I get ur afraid, don't mean to intimidate, I like u a lot, right from the start, u don't seem to know how, to reach out, and I can't make u either, I'll try to take a breather, out of sight and mind, never really ever seems to be a right or good time, so ur turn to lead, now we will wait and see if he finds his way back to me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/27/24

Behind Times

Gotta leave u behind, u ignored me too many times, such a shame, played me like a game, we both lose, be careful what u choose, once it's not me, I'm free, gave u 3 chances, now I'll keep u at glances, want nothing from u, especially friendship dude, ur not good enough, probably don't know love, and sadly it shows, hopefully he grows, cuz life is precious and short, shouldn't abort, but I do think ur a lil loony, missing out on this huge opportunity, I don't give myself often, since I'm next in line for the coffin, I thought it would be smart, to give my heart a shot, connecting with someone else, thought maybe I could even help, instead I found a substitute, who thinks and tells me I'm cute, plus he actually meets up, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say good luck!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/27/24

Sexy Bestys

U don't have to pursue me, but could at least be a lil bit wooey, men should learn the difference between love and sex, this is a budding bromance at best, teaching platonic intimacy, not preaching ironic idiocy, friends with benefits hasn't worked in my past, discovering who u are and what u want is life's major task, start with what u don't like and work from there, never make decisions for money or out of fear, silly me to find genuine authenticity sexy, but it's an absolute prerequisite to be a gay bi or str8 guy besty!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/23/24

Revolutionary Heart Art

Call me the poet preacher, in a way I guess I am a teacher, walk my talk, more of a penguin than a hawk, another grounded bird, no longer rooted hurts, but made me stronger now, I don't have any tricks or secrets on how, to gain resilience and power, in just a few simple steps/hours, y'all gotta get thru the work too, try not to be that dude ignorant baffoon jerk fool, Mr know it all, about to fall, yet again, no family or friends, cuz u keep choosing wrong, better pay attention to the lyrics of a song, otherwise what's the point, I find a beat without substance rather annoying, revolutionary is art, business mixed with the human heart, and like the soul lives on eternally, hopefully tho u won't pay nor be exploitedly enslaved in perpetuity!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/23/24

Jam Beyond My Life Span

Another beautiful morning, the picture of me yawning's spawning porning, and I'm totally cool with it, my bedrooms none of u fool's business, but I love a compliment, wish the US was more accepting instead of barely tolerant, let's be real, sexually unfulfilled depressed and repressed is how we feel, being nice isn't me flirting, that's alarming and alerting, reality's gone virtual, I hate it all except Wordl, that's my jam, hope to inspire smiles and orgasms for a life span, maybe even beyond, the mic is my magic wand, whether poetry or music, existence is just better with art infused in it!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/22/24

Unashaming Training

In any relationship be who u truly are, I know that can be gruesomely hard, especially if uve never known trust, safety is a must, it's a shame how many gays don't know love, family friendship or hugs, rather sad actually, battling mad tactfully, at the fact that alphas just suck, simply stuck in lust, which is stupid superficial shit, probably can't follow my quick spit with wicked rudamental wit, I'm a challenge, old school genuine gentleman classy chivalrous and valient, lifting up others, gifting both Dom or sub brothers, with sensitivity and vulnerability training, while also embracing aging and unashaming, especially when it comes to fetishes and kinks, please don't yuck yums or try to change the way one thinks!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/21/24

Love Happy Or Rhapsody

Like Pink sings "so what", I gotta go with my gut, mingle single, be a Pringle, cuz once u pop, they can't stop, but this loss, is urs, I'll just walk away, I won't stalk prey, instead will gawk unafraid, a wave to sand or chaulk stain, nothing in life is permanent, people like strife are pertinent, no man is an island, and there's no rewinding, when either of us moves on, I can't keep up the con, the truth is I'm not strong enough, if anything I'm looking for that long love, platonic or more, ironic galore, how I'm so dismissed, neglected and pissed, yet still smile bright, distilled wild light, dimmed down and stifled, profoundly bored and idled, why can't I find a guy and finally be happy, perhaps even be inspired to write my career changing rhapsody!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/21/24

Just Crush Much

It's just a crush, but I don't have them that much, usually not in a rush to gush, but the timing is pretty clutch, at least for me, not him apparently, and that's totally ok, he's not the only gay, he is pretty hot tho, I'm like stop Joe, put him out ur mind, it's simply not a good sign, ur chasing again, not happy being friends, and he won't accept a date, can't fight fate, one or both of us will have to go away I'm afraid, I'd say seize the day, but instead surrender to the hope and faith love makes its way!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/24

Like Gleamy Dreamy

He's just so dreamy, my eyes become gleamy, believe me I'm beaming, even tho deeply within me I'm grieving, why can't I keep my cool, instead of being a bumbling baffoon/overzealous fool, coming on way too strong I'm sure, I wicked wanna know more, like who he is at his core, let him know how it feels to be unconditionally loved and adored, safe and secure, no longer worryingly wondering what uve got to live for, me damn it, and I don't care if u can or can't comprehend or understand bitch, I'm genuinely patient and loyal, will pamper and spoil u royal, be my king I'll be the perceived queen, to have and to hold in ur whole heart and soul means, not only are we a team, but we'll also always and forever be family!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/24

Voicing My Rage Phase

I'm definitely in the phase, of voicing my rage, yes I'm angry and wanna sue God, get Him to just stop, perhaps Dictator Trump will declare "ur fired", we're all growing more and more tired, of the crazy amount of suffering and tragedy, ignoring abusive and wrongful atrocity oh so casually, I'm actually offended on principle, it's like good has grown so passe and complicit they're invisible, it's pitiful plus disturbing and disgusting, boomers dominatingly declare there's no discussion, even in death my mother won, she's coming off as didn't trust her son, like im still an irresponsible child, which is wild, at 42 with 2 bachelors degrees cds singles and licenses too, I shouldn't have to justify or defend myself further to any single fucking one of u!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

Write & Sing The Right Thing

I may not say the right thing, but I spew truth thru when I write and sing, but if actions don't match words, it causes distrust and deeply hurts, omission is worse than a lie, ull regret the things u don't try, hate being allergic to cats, as much as people hiding behind masks, don't need but want u, tho u tease me and taunt too, I can't make ur mind up, as a gay man it seems impossible to find love, since most homos don't know it in the first place, I strive to give so much grace, even at my own expense, sick of being called too intense, perhaps it's time to move on, so I'm not foolishly duped nor conned!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

The Best Sexy AF Hot Mess

When I met him I lost my cool, I haven't crushed on anyone in this ridiculous pool, no judgment, or begrudging, it's just annoying, either exploited or exploiting, silly me, with my genuine authenticity, laying out all my cards, my sleeves made of soul and heart, wearing them like the pain on my face, he made my beat skip and pick up pace, stomaching butterflies, encouraging the disenfranchised, to befriend and love again, with me ull never have to pretend, I'm a safe space, hope to be listed amongst the greats, we define our relationships like success, no matter what I see u at ur best, ur one sexy af hot mess, and that's totally ok, cuz if I'm being completely honest I'm the same!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/18/24

Unlucky With Money & Love Hunny

No stranger to anger, so distant from a successful viral banger, and it's pissing me tf off, while y'all criticize and scoff, questioning my intentions, ur just jealous of my blessings, u chose wrong, it's not my fault u can't rap sing or write an original song, tho I appear strong I'm insecure too, not compensated for the more I do, unlucky in money, finding myself a hunny, to sunny up, done with funny love, bring something to the table, show ur capable and able, to think of someone other than urself, give unbenefitted help, without some hidden agenda, stop being an illusionary pretender, fuck I'm too much, I'm changing the narrative to u simply suck and just ain't enough!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/18/24

Www.CoolGayBestFriend 🚫.Com @ The End

With me it's never too late, to find ur way, take that leap, plant a seed, simply begin, u may gain momentum, no reward without risk, bitch u better work that whisk, like Mike just beat it, or better yet stay seated, ur already defeated if u don't try, it's ok to fail lose and cry, always take another chance, evolve ur stance, let me in, love can win even in sin, ride my vibe, we're so lucky to be alive so why not strive to thrive, but in the end for real not pretend, know all Joe ever wanted was to be the whole wide world's cool gay best friend!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/14/24

Just A Day Away

With each passing day, I get further away, leaving grief behind me, while moving silently, helps keep peace, he's such a tease, always have had bad timing, and I'm finding I'd be lying, if I wasn't frustrated/disappointed, it's wicked fucking annoying, having to only hold onto hope and faith, but what if I can't patiently wait, any longer, I don't wanna be stronger, I'm so tired and burnt out, chasing clout while having to bout doubt, hidden agendas along with traumatic tragedy, the universe hurts and is running me raggedy, when all I want is some company, to enjoy this bliss with comfortably triumphantly, we aren't meant to ride and die solo, I hate workaholics the most cuz u know yolo, life shouldn't be just a hustle, I'm not subtle nor afraid of a lil trouble scuffle or struggle, supposed to seize like Columbus, yet not let capitalistic greed creep or seep in leaching like fungus among us, we seem to be absolutely ridiculous hypocrites, definitely especially to both immigrants and the indigenous!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/14/24

Love's So Stupid To Lose It

No won't destroy me, so stop teasing and toying b, return a call or text, perhaps gay relationships are simply hexed, since it's unnatural anyways, look how much the beta sub fag pays, prostituted and exploited, there's so much internal work that's been avoided, let out those issues, blow em into tissues, instead of fists and kicks, look at the consequences ur actions depict, why don't alphas try, looking outside, of what just comes to them, ur showing unknowing family or friends, missing opportunities, lgbtq is a str8 made community, like money an illusion, tolerance is confusing, why keep abusing good people, wasting precious time in life is evil, rather not love at all than lose it, in my honest opinion that philosophy is not only ignorant it's really stupid!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/14/24

Lessons & Blessings

Don't worry about hurting me, if I deem u worthy, sorry I'm so intense, boundaries are better seen fenced, I'd still hop it, I have a huge crush and I can't stop shit, please be in my life, I'll love u thru the fight, even tho I can't save or heal u, I'll keep it 100% real dude, I will never judge, or hold a grudge, since I'm an imperfect human, often wondering what the hell am I doin, letting opportunity and beauty pass by, traumatized from the last guy, back in 2017, but it's him I see clearly in my dreams, and he ain't no saint, yet can talentedly paint, I may be an old soul but don't look it, his hugs and tender kisses have left me shooketh, usually for me they're just another lesson, but I'm hoping this time instead I could be his blessing!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

11/13/24

Misunderstanded Taken For Granted

Who I am is not what I look like, that's why most my life's been a fight, y'all need to give me more grace, say shit to my fatherfucking face, accept me for all of me, stop crushing my calling/dream, wish I could be seen and heard, nobody's listening to the wisdom I've learned, just taken for granted, completely misunderstanded, underestimated and overlooked, I've left jaws dropped in awe utterly shocked or straight shook, thought we weren't supposed to judge a book's cover, I'm a helluva friend and lover, trying to find my chosen family, when so far there are few who can even tolerate or stand me, oh well their loss, ghosting the living comes at such a high cost, forgiveness is key, especially for urself at least, time is precious and short, all I've ever wanted was to be a good cohort, appreciate great moments building memories, can u show compassion to ur enemies, always being the bigger person, striving to inspiringly be my bestest sexiest healthiest version!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/11/24

The Kick Ass Task Of Grief

Grief is a beast, to say the least, my poetry's therapeutically deep and just such a tease, ain't aiming to please, especially anymore, found most performers are inherently whores, desperately seeking attention, with mostly capitalistic intention, people profit off my blood sweat tears and pain, y'all so vain, judgmental and self righteous, where are the other chosen ones here to enlighten us, perhaps God is water, don't be a hoarder, share the wealth, don't be afraid to give or receive both love and help, men should be more vulnerable and talk, instead of war smoke dope or go for a walk, calm the fuck down, stop acting like a clown, it's important to meet me where I'm at, build bridges and know Joe's always got ur back, simply speaks truth/#facts Jack, tongue twistedly transcribing my witty inspiring rhyming into ab fab rad rap tracks, that'll slap/smack/stab/attack with wicked mass sass and class, kick ass taking all those whack straight and black rappers to task!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/6/24

My Reality/Actuality Of Love & Happy

Oh what a night, it just felt so right, I knew at first sight, he had a certain light, like a higher vibe or frequency, and we seemed to connect seamlessly, was it meant to be, heaven sent him to me, to remind myself, there's always someone else, never ever give up, especially at love, as well as making all my dreams come true, poetry and music's something simply I have to do, fuck fortune and fame it's my purpose, also my passion and service, hoping I can help others, focusing on the mental health of my fellow brothers, breakdown barriers and stereotypes, show there's so much more depth and levels to our lives, we're onions personified, the rings within trees is where age's wisdom hides, along with manifestation and inception, illusion is perception's projection, tho it may be not what they see or believe, I'll create winning my Grammy a reality/actuality and finally be happy!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/6/24

Remember Us Together

Don't forget anger is a stage of grief, it doesn't care about belief, I'm allowed to be angry, even act completely strangely, please give me some grace, sorry if I convey hate, I don't mean to boo, and it ain't cool too, rather rude/misdirection projection, instead of sadness I'm supposed to be only grateful for the blessings I'm inheriting, minimizing my capableness, my life isn't stapled with priveleged bliss, it was never mine, I know in the future I'll be fine, but right in this moment now, I gotta own it and I don't know how, but like my mom said "u just do, keep pushing thru", when talking about my sister,  so I'll listen to her, and always remember, to cherish the beautiful time we all had together!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/5/24

Slave Away Or We All Fall

I do say what I mean and mean what I say, I'm only human tho so I probably had a bad day, I did love my mom alot, she's always in my mind soul and heart, but guess what she wasn't perfect, didn't do a good job of making me feel worth it, yet it's cool, I ain't no fool, I know my value, I keep doin art not cuz I have to, but it's my passion and purpose, I'm tired of the universe testing with what hurts us, I want positive reinforcement not negative, encouragement is crucial/imperative, I don't wanna be left insecure, considered an entitled bastard whore, cuz I refuse to be a slave, we weren't created or made to just work life away, only focused on making more money, boomers were hoardish selfish and greedy hunny, didn't pass the baton well at all, like the Roman empire it's time for their fall!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/30/24

All My Sacrificing & Suffering For Absolutely Nothing

Resilient brilliant driven and strong, but I wish my mom would've believed in me more, I hate her, so utterly and completely deeply hurt, I don't know how to live with this, y'all see privilege gifted bliss, and it isn't, insecurity is now intrinsic, I'll never get her approval, in fact I feel like a female poodle, u know a fucking bitch, who ain't rich, in fact I inherited absolutely nothing, after all the sacrificing and suffering, from dad to sister then mom, powerlessly imprisoning me with a trustee has caused irreparable harm, validating the opinion I'm financially incompetent, when I've proven extremely able patient graceful and tolerant, to a lot of negligent procrastination/bullshit, none of my uncles earned nor deserve that type of righteous pulpit, I'm smarter and wiser than all of them combined plus their current and ex wives, sorry not sorry I can't fake a lie my face will always say I'm just not fine!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/28/24

Was Enough Love

It isn't how u died but how u lived, if all u do is take and never did give, maybe they weren't the greatest or best, but I'm left in this empty nest, remembering just how lucky I was, having my family was enough love, wasn't desperate nor, looking for more, now they're my angels, and from any old angle, I'm truly grateful for being blessed, couldn't ever have guessed I past the test, only survived cuz they became a part of me, since quite honestly, there's simply no Joe without them, can't be born again until I reach my final's end!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/26/24

Fun Anyone

I don't want to be defined by grief and death, altho I am the only one left, I won't feel lonely or alone, all I want is like Tupac's rap "Happy Home", just not in the house I grew up in, sex shouldn't be in lieu of loving, I barely know people who can stand me, how will I ever find my new chosen family, is time running out, need to start upping my clout, perhaps once a source of joy's now a haunting ghost, it's not smart to be flaunting daunting braggadocious bravado, stay humble grateful and kind instead, I'm laying laid in my made bed, please don't judge me, punishingly/discouragingly, yucking my yum, but I'm done hun and then some, uve spun ur woven web, yet I ain't in debt, so I don't owe anyone, it's all about living life happy joyful and just having fun!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/25/24

God Damn Man Anthem

Gotta trust in my hope and faith, that it'll all be not ok but great, should always do ur best not just ur job, when u take no pride in ur time nor effort ur another worthless slob, haven't u any value, living only cuz u have to, makes life rather hollow and empty, the shit I've been thru u ain't exempt from b, best believe in grief, the feeling never leaves, wound up taumatically blessed, wouldn't ever forever ever have guessed, but I've got no more guilt and shame, once u realize like Pac the levels and the rules of the game, it's pretty much looking thru the rear view mirror, I quadruple dog dare ya, to bet against me, playing intro Joe entrancely, what's ur anthem, leaving em all God damn man!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/21/24

A Fun One

Never would've guessed, I'd grow up to be traumatically blessed, there is beauty in the ruins of us, gotta truly trust in ur guts, cuz only u, know what's the best thing to do, even if it's against the grain, why train the brain, when it can't feel, do we actually know what's real, happiness success peace or love, is all of the above enough, I just keep hoping I'll find that one, who makes this adventure called life finally fun!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/18/24

My Not So Brief Grief Spurt Work Hurts

Today marks the one month anniversary of my mom's passing, I'm so grateful of all the love and supportive distractions, whether food booze or company, I will persevere resiliently and triumphantly, to honor thy father sister and mother, this whole experience has made me rougher and tougher, I've gotten much thicker skin, when many people never even try to begin, until it's too late, u just can't be great, it takes consistent persistence/work that hurts, wouldn't call it a simple brief grief spurt, since it's been 6 long years, losing and unrooting those I hold most dear, of course I am deeply effected, this life isn't something I elected, I do my best, but why haven't I proven I too can pass this test yet?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/17/24

Congratulations Ryan & Nancy

Been going thru way too much grief, but u both give me such hope relief and belief, in divine timing finding love, neither of u two late bloomers ever ever ever gave up, so there's no tears here today, I'm glad u finally found ur way, right into the arms heart and soul of each other, nothing's more inspirational than watching two beautiful lovers, making that solemn vow, someway somehow, thru sickness and in health, whether poor or accrued wealth, walking this life together, for worse or better, just journeying and enjoying this cazy rollercoaster ride, side by side, with ur fur babies Duke and Winston, even we can't help but smile within an instant, they're there living their very own progressive definition of family, while some say marriage is straight insanity, I think it's the quintessential epitome of amazing grace, a magical transcendent bond beyond time and space, that can never break or be erased, all I can say is congratulations Ryan and Nacy on this ur fabulous wedding day!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/14/24

Can't Math My Path

Perhaps we're a habit of creatures, stay tuned cuz we're finally getting to the feature, time to build my epically legendary legacy, becoming a much better me, with each day, embracing the gay, it's strange but ok, I think I've found my way, off the beaten path, fuck new math, I can actually see, how one plus one equals three, gotta bend the mind's eye, maybe like me that means get high, mother plus father makes a child, ponder that for a lil while, that's a straight perspective, mine gets lost in the collective, and I am not loud, proud that I won't shout, simply adding to the noise, some say I have a soothing voice, so stop read and/or listen, we all have the power to manifest the life we envision!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/12/24

No U.N.I.T.Y. Without U & I

It's noticeably changing season, understanding things happen for a reason, grown up alot lately, can tell from being cracky and achy, I feel different, didn't happen in an instant, it was gradually consistent, but I inherited so much resilience, I keep getting up again, like Pink sings "not broken just bent", usually with Mary Jane, numbing the pain, fogging my brain, helps me stay sane, in a chaotic world, dodging what the universe hurled, constantly testing, almost as if it's vetting, who's the chosen one, and when the voting's done, did we pick the right candidate, that is anti hate, a true representation of u and I, let's bring back that classic Queen Latifah track "U.N.I.T.Y.", bridge the divide, ride the tide, no matter how high or low, ull find that goal of a gold road by following ur own soul, cuz behind the veiled curtain lies the truth told/exposed, unfortunately death's just the way life goes and how it all unfolds!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/9/24

U Don't Need To Agree With Me

Took some time away from creating art, while I tried to heal my heart, grief is a beast, but at least, I had tons of love and support, friends don't usually get divorced, perhaps cut off, reverse flame to a moth, that's what I am, fall for gullible on the ceiling scam, dupible, incomputable, tho when it comes to raw talent, super genuinely humble and valient, all about authenticity, sick of hypocritically consistent complicity, especially politically, which simply sickens me, deep to the core of my soul, capitalistic fortune and fame isn't my ultimate goal, I'd rather relate touch inspire connect and help elevate, settle for nothing less than spectacular/great, it's within me, even if u don't agree!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/7/24

Simply The Best & Blessed

Been plotting planning listing and vision boarding, dealing with alot of procrastination/hoarding, weeding thru so many memories, what tremendous legacies, all my immediate family members had, how are my heart and soul still intact, even astounds me, I'm resilient profoundly, I am my mother and father's son, if ranked they'd be number 1 so I won, either way u say it, double entendred greatness, extremely lucky and blessed, quite simply they were the best! 

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/25/24

At Peace Eternally

Today my mom was laid to rest, and she really was just the best, I was so blessed, now I'm left with an empty nest, but I can't be sad or mad, I'm so unbelievably humbly grateful for the wonderful family I had, for 42 years, there is no fear, I know my life will be great, my futures bright it's fate, I've got another guardian angel on my side, she is now my spiritual guide, traveling with me everywhere. I've received an abundance of love support and care, I'm simply touched, her light and presence will surely be missed so much, God speed, I'm truly relieved ur with dad and G, at peace eternally, please give em a huge hug for me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/24/24

Appreciative To Fly Free Be Happy & Live

Goin to see Pink again, with a couple of friends, this time she's with Sheryl Crow tho, hopefully they'll do a collabo, it's a beautiful day too, music concerts are just so cool, beautifully engulfed in refreshing healing energy, and I'm sure it'll be epically legendary, I need some relief, a major distraction from all this grief, these guys are the best, the abundance of love and support reminds me how much I'm blessed, overwhelmingly grateful and appreciative, this unrooted bird can finally fly free be happy and live!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/21/24

Enough Rough & Tough...I Need Love

Putting on a brave face, trying to make it thru the days, if only there was more time, maybe I could say I'm fine, and actually mean it too, altho my emotional capacity grew, we all have our limits, perhaps we need a refresher in civics, lost our ethics and morals, y'all can't even muster cordial, it's pretty sad, I lost my sister mom and dad, what an exclusive club, I've had enough rough and tough, yes this situation absolutely sucks, but I'm embracing the tremendous abundance of unconditional love!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/20/24

Never Ever Forget I'm Beautifully Blessed

It's been a couple days, and I'm still in a haze, just feels weird, not having my mom dad or sis here, only me now, I don't know how, or better yet where to go next, really thinking back west, but it's all a matter of timing, this journey of life is hilly and winding, with my guardian angels, I finally feel like success and happiness are being dangled, actually in grasp/reach, but since I can't teach grief, I love how my poetry and music, is turning out to be pretty therapeutic, helps others and myself get thru, cuz when push comes to shove there's only what u do or don't do, won't wallow nor crumble, remain kind and humble, the future's bright and the best is yet to come, I'll never ever forget the beautifully blessed family I'm from!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/19/24

Mom's Poetic Prayer

Mom's finally at peace, she reunites and remeets so many peeps, such a sad natural part of life, but she no longer has to suffer nor fight, what a warrior woman she was, yes I'll take all actual and virtual condolences kisses and hugs, I feel the love in abundance, I was wicked blessed with familial substance, inherited so much understanding wisdom, incredibly glad dad sis and ur own folks are there to welcome u into his eternal kingdom, til we see each other again, R.I.P./amen!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/17/24

Life Right?!

How do u define a life, I feel like words can't do it right, ur light could never be out of sight or mind, a better family is impossible to find, is that why I chose blood, most guys are duds, not even on my level, if I'm pot ur kettle, far from perfect, but definitely worth it, genuinely loving caring and loyal, treat all peeps like they're authentically royal, with kindness and respect, this pig actually tries to serve and protect, pleasing and saving the world, yes gay but still love girls, cuz they have high E.Q.s, I've never been a teacher tho I just do, and that's not to be arrogant or cocky, I'm about to top the hip hop charts with my poetry and nobody's gonna stop me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/16/24

Legendary Memories

Crying is cleansing, instead of puking cry and rally's worth mentioning, let it rain, don't hold onto the pain, vulnerability isn't weak, be resilient to defeat, show up for urself, since ur the only one who u can truly help, choose ur family wisely, grief is always untimely, we shouldn't fear death, it's ok to express ur bereft, remember the beautiful memories, my mom dad and sis were all legendary, forever and eternally a part of my legacy too, I couldn't even be me without u!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/14/24

U Can Only Help Urself

Don't fear death it's a part of life, ur defined by how u react to the pain plight and strife, we hurdle cyclically, can u view the world and people not so cynically, don't be judgmental jealous or bitter, u can get wiser without having to be bigger, sometimes yes the truth is hard, but it's worse trying to maintain a webbed farce, keeping ur lies straight, we can't fight fate, so embrace it, communicate shit, instead of avoiding and escaping complacent procrastination, pacing is a totally acceptable and healthy form of meditation, find moderation and balance, bet on ur own talents, cuz fuck help, u can only urself, and then cherish chosen family and friends, who are ride or die to the very end!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/14/24

God's Stupidly Foolishly Beauty

Got to spend yesterday at the beach, I didn't inherit the ability to teach, I just do, like mom taught me to u get thru, no matter how hard it is, handle ur business, everything will be ok, tho it isn't easy being gay, it's not my identity, I'd never mean to harm or offend intentionally, that's simply not my nature, I ain't no judgmental hater nor an alienator debater, let people be, everyone goes thru shit we don't know about nor see, mind ur own beeswax, there are such things as truth free and facts, why should we pay to be born and exist, what the actual fuck is this, where's utopia's socialistic peace with universal bliss, but not for only a select few, capitalism's unsustainably cruel, money's an illusion when we define our own trade and success, humanity has createdly made one giant hot miseducated mess, but then again perhaps that's actually God's beauty, and man can't or too stupidly tries to understand foolishly!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/11/24

Evolution Revolution

What's the harm in, labeling myself RI's leather daddy/rap King Charming, let me be ur ruler, cuz I'm just simply cooler, spitting wisdom in rhyme, this is my shine time, quintessential beacon of light, using music and poetry to fight for what's right, wearing a harness and a crown, having representation is profound, I've never felt welcomed nor included, may not break that glass ceiling but moved it, tired of the same old monotony, gonna inspire change in the world so don't try to stop me, simultaneously leading both a Renaissance revolution, and a transcendent conscious evolution, more towards enlightenment, creatively writing enticing and inviting righteously delighting excitement!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/8/24

Mom's Are Never Too Far

In this moment it's imperative, not to dwell on grief focusing on the negative, experiencing similar loss yet still unprepared, my mom is the person I hold most dear, I wish her eternal peace, I'm sorry if I didn't fulfill her wants and needs, but hope I made her proud, I won't let the dark clouds shroud, ull be the brightest star in my sky, the wind beneath my wings helping me fly high, u are an incredible warrior for love and light, I will never understand ur endless relentless fight, altho I know u passed it on within me, I'm only beginning to see, how beautiful life and the future are, and I know in my heart u will never be too far!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/7/24

The Unkempt Me Almost Empty

Gotta respect her wishes, never been the type to vicariously live thru pictures, I hold the memories in my heart and head, can't imagine too much time left, these two weeks will be the hardest, feeling cardless, like I'm waiting on my next hand, does God listen to our willfull commands on demand, I'm struggling so deep, there are points I wail and weep, almost uncontrollably, my spirit doesn't seem holy, kinda ironic death's an angel, life is being slowly strangled, watching this all unfold, is making me bitter resentful and cold, so I try to shut up and isolate, I don't wanna spread hate, yet I have no control, this unrooting is drastically effecting my essence and soul, how can I fill this hole that's almost empty, y'all about to meet and see the real unkempt me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/7/24

Please Free Me

Living isn't procrastinating dying, holding onto hope at this point is lying, I'm burnt out, and can't fight her bout, I know it's hard to let go, no one's supporting Joe tho, nobody wants to talk truth, it's not my job to help y'all thru, it's supposed to be the other way around, this punishing suffering is profound, like a plot to kill me to avoid her death, I will have no spirit or will to live left, they keep shooting the messenger which is me, I'm sorry to say this but the time may be for her to fly free, there's nothing anyone can do to stop this, for all our sakes we need to accept the only option is hospice!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/6/24

Won't Let Grief Completely Beat Me

Tho far from perfect my mom's the best, she made a beautiful nest, we called home, I never felt alone, even after they're all gone, I know I can weather any storm, she taught me how, her strength is the very definition of wow, it took me a lifetime, so that I might find, approval comes from within, where do I even begin, a million I'm sorries isn't enough, u showed me nothing but unconditional love, with little asked for in return, after every single burn, u helped me resiliently rise again, tho trust was never broken it got bent, rather quite literally, u refuse to wallow in misery, kept persevering thru, like matriarchal glue, simply put she's magical, despite not always being compatible, I felt supported completely, no matter what happens I promise I won't let grief beat me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/4/24

Reap What We Sow

Reap what we sow

Shit ain't superficial it's deep yo

Y'all so empty and hollow

Thinking sorrow's for tomorrow 

But what if there is none hun

Time's under the gun like money an illusion

Wake up and embrace love u hateful fucks

Cuz we just weather better together...kisses and hugs

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/3/24

Humanly Humbling Unconditional Loving

Good days and bad, so grateful for what I have had, especially this long, u can't mourn wrong, honor those gone with success, always live and do ur best, tho there's plight and strife in life, don't let suffering steal nor dim the fight to shine ur light bright, they can't hang with angels, never been fancy or fangled, simply genuine and authentic, no hate or shade but don't assume I'd ever choose to use Ozempic, ain't no magical cure nor fix, even the rich can't achieve happiness/bliss, cuz the basic gist we exist is far beyond money hunny, y'all become numb young and dumb hustly hungry nutty grubby fuddy duddies all troubly, which is wicked fucking disgusting, encompassing nothing remotely close to utopianly conscious non judgment nor begrudging humanly humbling unconditional loving!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/3/24

Ladders Matter When Angst Is Ranked

Regaining the will to live, but being mindful how much I share and give, cuz I gave way to freely, never been super touchy feely, I do love intimacy and affection, don't need protection, except from myself, shouldn't be too prideful to ask and accept help, we only get one life, something about virtual reality and gaming just ain't right, yet another illusion of escape, most kids are filled with misplaced rage and hate, chalk it up to pubescent angst, does anybody like being ranked, in my own lane, and it's hard to stay sane, this industry is rough and tough, success is when preparedness meets opportunity and luck, which I simply haven't had, can't take shit personally or think I'm bad, money and popularity won't matter, ultimately my talent and skill will get me to the top of the hip hop/rap ladder!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/27/24

Endure Way More Sadisticness Galore

What to say today, isn't listen and obey, how about read and understand, wish peeps could be both friend and fan, instead y'all support strangers over who u know, I can tell alot about who's asking by calling me JC or Joe, my bubble is way bigger than my circle, the past 6 years have been a nonstop obstacle course of hurdles, defined mostly by my resilience to grief, no amount of selfless good deeds, could ever bring my happiness back, perhaps if I had my sister or dad, what I'm goin thru with mom, wouldn't cause so much harm, I'm suffocating and drowning, this experience has been harrowing, way more than any one man should endure, it's like sadisticness galore, does God get his jollies off, sits there on his cloudy perched porch and sarcastically scoffs, did u learn ur lesson yet, cuz in life this is as good as blessings get!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/25/24

The Plight & Strife Of Life

Today mom has chemo, as far as we know, her floor had an outbreak of covid, as if cancer wasn't hard enough to cope with, the woman can't catch a break, why is suffering humanity's fate, is the afterlife our reward, how long will we be mourned, does that define us, what's behind trust, is it hope or faith, I hate funerals and wakes, been to way too many, is there any sort of penalty, if like pets we get put down, why isn't death dignified like a crown, so much fear of the unknown, instead of having to listen to u bitch and bemoan, stop trying to escape, just run and hide away, ull perpetually be tested, God doesn't care how much uve invested, there's no toll, nor any reliable poll, that can properly judge, it's wasteful to envy and begrudge, own ur life, cuz there's nothing more character building than overcoming plight and strife!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/24/24

Sheesh...Good Grief

As I close this chapter I've come to believe, the overall theme that screams seems to be sheesh...good grief", use art as therapy, helping to create and make a better me, working on myself, understanding the power of wealth, which transcends money, a much higher frequency/vibration that's especially funny, super socially awkward and quirky, yet totally infectiously authentic and worthy, altho the future seems murky, I remain quite the flirty perky turkey, knowing that I have unwavering faith, I'll pave my own way, redefining what success means to me, as well as words like best or reasonably, what wisdom has exposed and shown, with the death of all my roots a whole new Joe's grown, rather truly beautifully indubitably, loving live hip hop performing's presumably rudly unruly and uncomputably cool beans b, shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I've survived the loss of my dad and sis but this is on another level losing my mother!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/22/24

Why's The Truth Aloof

Ain't gonna front, tho they gave a few months, the time is now, and I don't know how, to break the news, some are so confused, u have to spoon feed, even then they're delayed to believe, the ultimate inevitable truth, why is communicative understanding aloof, the divide is so wide, the only real place to hide, is somewhere amongst the grayish in-between, this nightmarish dream, it would seem keeps getting worse, won't dwell on the hurt, just shine my bright white light, writing poetry and more music helping to fight, for the greater good, why do I gotta be from the gutter or hood, to be a rapper taken seriously, I've been rocking mics and stages creatively for years fearlessly, sharpening my talent and skills, hopefully someday getting to a place where it'll pay all my bills!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/22/24

Sweet Sorrow Feelings' Meaning

It was like a collective acceptance with an answer, even though yes of course fuck cancer, now it's palliative care, it somehow softens the fear, let's just show up, with all the positivity musterable and love, like she gave us, I'll tell u the woman's got guts, and unbelievable strength, just when u thought she was spent, her smile radiated, we are just so ingratiated, whatever time's left, we should make it the best, enjoy each and every precious moment, I highly condone it, no regrets, add lots of hugs kisses and zest, life's a test and a hot mess for sure, but it isn't also perpetual guaranteed more, the end gives living meaning, that's that Shakespearean sweet sorrow feeling, it's just a natural part of it, so brace urselves for lots of impossibly hard shit!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/19/24

What A Big Beautiful Bright Light's Fight

Oh man, God damn, is all I can say, it had to be this way, I kind of understand, not a fan, I'd just do it differently, but then again life isn't simply, I won't make this long, maybe someday I'll write a song, this will be difficult, adding injury to insult, losing my last root, is like being kicked in the face with a stealtoed boot, ull be met with so much love, lots of familial kisses and hugs, she will finally be at peace, me too at least, it is still hard, what a hand dealt in cards, I hope she knows I'll be alright, she definitely put up a warrior style fight, thru all the pain plight and strife, she maintained being a magnificently inspiring big beautiful bright light!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/17/24

Lots Of Love & Positive Prayer To Show We're There & Care

Finding strength I didn't know I had, must be from sis and dad, this isn't easy whatsoever, I'm prepared as best as possible if she doesn't get better, especially this time around, the amount this woman's been thru is profound, what a warrior, I wish her nothing but peace love and euphoria, she's suffered enough, and altho she is tough, she's only human, even when she's gone life won't be ruined, she'll be with us in a different way, I've learned that's not just ok, it's actually ideal too, I empathize and feel u, simply can't help save change or really fix this shit, gotta grow thicker skin my backbone and unfortunately somehow learn to cope and deal with it, best we can, take my hand, let's be there and show her we care, thru lots of love and positive prayer!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/16/24

They Can't See This Loss Is About Me

When I look out there, think to myself I lack a pair, but I've been lucky, a family who loved me, on the precipice of being totally gone, there is no right or wrong, I'm dealing the best I can, I'm still just a young man, finally grown, yet haven't reaped all I've sown, planted alot of seeds, wholeheartedly believe, my time to shine is on its way, running low tho I'm afraid, my cup's almost empty, my mom is incredibly pretty legendary, it's completely defeatingly deeply overwhelming u see, I can't help everybody else unfortunately this loss is about me!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/15/24

Her Divine Fine Is Mine Too

Thru her eyes I must look a mess, wish worry and trust weren't a wild guess, always wanted u to know, I'll be better than ok tho, cuz of u and dad, yes not having Gia here is sad and makes me mad, but she knew too, I will make it thru, ur strength is mine, I've got that divine fine, he's got me I know this, and it's not some protected bliss, I don't understand it either, I'm a love bleeder, a soul sharer, an unconditional carer, with an undimmable light, watching u throughout my life has given me my might to fight, yet another day, I don't know how when or why but I will definitely eventually find my way!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/14/24

Own Moments Cuz There's No Atonement

Sometimes filling a role, can take a toll, extending an olive branch, or a forgiving helping hand, can change the trajectory, and is absolutely necessary, since most men don't have that skill, like I can't hunt battle or kill, that's not within my nature, even if I should I couldn't hate ya, somehow can keep finding the good, empaths and healers are overlooked and often misunderstood, keep ur medal, I know I'm special, but power equates responsibility, life isn't endless continuity silly, there's a beginning and death, I do often wonder what happens next, try not to wallow tho, down that rabbit hole, rather remain present, never been socially hesitant, an introverted extrovert, both caregiving and grief hurt, can't tell u which is worse, especially when immersed, there is always a light, so we all must warrior resiliently thru and fight, now more than ever, stop pretending we have forever, own each precious moment, cuz at the end of the day there's no atonement!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/13/24

Smile Turned Frown Letdown

Yet another letdown, smile turned frown, can't catch a break, when these gays be fake, run away when things get hard, no wonder y'all won't get far, thing is the shoe will change feet, and at the moment ur most weak, karma will show u what u gave, companionship is what I crave, but it'll only work with genuine authenticity, u don't need to be gorgeous or even pretty, be urself, show up for people when they need and u can help, cuz just a basic simple warning, compassion forgiveness and grace are super duper uber important!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/12/24

My 3 Favorite Things

Gotta give it to God and trust I won't get fucked, if I really stop and think about it I have the best luck, I had the greatest family ever, time doesn't heal grief but there spirit with me helps to feel better, in fact now they're with me everywhere, thru joy sorrow and fear, I carry my sister's smile, channel dad every once in while, mostly when it comes to the dogs, but ultimately it's my mom who's embedded in me more, her strength and resilience is unparalleled, they're like chocolate peanut butter and caramel, my 3 favorite things, and as cliché as it sounds like Bette sings they're "the wind beneath my wings"!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/11/24

Won't Break And'll Be Ok

Most don't have a clue what I'm goin thru, u don't have to be an asshole to prove ur an alpha dude, what's worse than needy is wanty, if I wasn't there for my mom it would haunt me, even tho she's so frail and looks uncomfortable, she resiliently warriors thru the painful struggle, she's my spirit animal/inspiration, and sometimes that's rather kinda intimidating, cuz my whole family was amazing, but what a huge transformation, over the last 6 years I've made, never ever thought to quit nor cave, I stayed strong, kept holding on like the lyrics of my song, I always knew Jackie, when push came to shove had me, just like Trev Ryan Eric Mari & Cait, with great unconditional friendship and love I know in my head heart and soul I'll be ok and promise I won't break!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/8/24

Why God Why

I wish I could find a way, to get thru another day, cuz honestly I'm trapped, in the darkest black, it's creeped and seeped deep inside, how do I escape and hide, even for just a lil while, I don't wanna feel like I'm faking a smile, to protect everybody else, most don't know how to help, I've never been one to pressure, perhaps I am lesser, neglected attention, incessantly mentioned, I've been begging for company, I dream of celebrating triumphantly, a bit of success, I know I am but don't feel blessed, in fact I seem cursed, everything inevitably gets worse, can't stop empathizing mom, this pain and suffering is causing such irreparable harm, I can't imagine goin on, starting to believe hope and faith is one giant con, but like Pac "still I rise", while drowning in the tears I cry, I don't want her to die, why God why?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/7/24

So Sick Of Stupidly Douchey Jerks & The Exploitive Evil That Lurks

I'm so sick and tired of bullshitting fakes and flakes, looking forward to more digidates, I had pretty much given up, on ever finding a best friend I could also love, most alphas are literally dicks, treating overtrusting betas like shit, and they think that's ok, like we're lesser than cuz we're gay, no u can't spit or piss on me or call me fag, I'm always down for a good laugh, but hateful mean abuse isn't funny, ur not automatically worthy of a sub's money, go get a fucking job, stop exploiting us u spoiled entitled slob, karma and the universe will eventually get u, there's nothing more frustratingly infuriating than a lack of follow thru, a man is only as good as his word, no wonder why ur overvalued u barely have worth, at the end of the day evil lurks, and most of these supposed Master's are lying stupidly douchey jerks!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/5/24

Gotta Believe We Can Manifest Our Dreams

The most powerful statement is I am, and u should follow it up with the best u can, cuz that's how manifestation happens, I bet many of u are laughing, but it's the gods honest truth, so many people are aloof, especially to the fact, that they too can conjure a similar magical act, but dream big, change the way u think and live, instead of a 9 to 5, I wanted to write and perform music til the day I die, every day I awake, I listen to songs and get baked, which is far from perfect, being sad and miserable all the time ain't worth it, takes so much negative energy, no wonder trust can't be built if everybody's ur enemy, sounds like ur the problem, stop just wanting superstardom, u need a hard work ethic, persistent consistency is the metric, sounds like y'all want fortune and fame, u see to me life isn't some game, it may be delirious, I take each day very serious, trying to make a conscious effort, never to be hopelessly desperate, instead have faith and believe, there'll come a point where ull eventually be validatingly heard felt and seen!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/2/24

A Side Kick To Spit It On Thick With

So lucky and blessed to know, that I have a soul bro, like we've known each other in multiple lives, fuck coincidences when there's too much that coincides, growing up and into who we are, no matter the different traveled paths we're never too far, that we can't find an intersection, catching up thru blunt confessions, maybe a few new beautiful introductions, cuz when life's just shit and sucking, ain't nothing better than a night out in the city, wiling wicked all loosy goosy intrusively trippy with me, I'm never too busy, it ain't easy getting rid of me silly, cuz "I'd find u", like that Wedding Crasher chick said to the dude, we Gemini peeps be legit crazy, just don't make me, there's always a reason, behind the people pleasing, lies a revolutionary reactionist, recreating this poetic musical magicness/bliss, leaving everybody in awe of it, wanting more of my shit, but with a ride or die, right by my side, we're powerful enough to make a real change, but y'all keep thinking we're simply land of the misfit toys strange, the pariah messiah and his philosophical side kick, both eloquently equipped with deep creative quick wit to spit on thick!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/29/24

New Low For Old Joe

Hope isn't all lost, imagine how much faith cost, yet churches don't pay taxes, the matter of fact is, I'm tired of never catching a break, this optimism seems forced and fake, give it to me straight, is there an end date, or does this linger perpetually, I can't process these emotions intellectually, and my heart's shattered numb, like I've gone dumb, no longer know how to react, it's too hard to smile or laugh, how do I deal, doesn't feel real, but yet this is the reality, we all eventually become a casualty, there's no exception exemption or protection, if we only get to ask God one question, why all the suffering, I get that it's toughening, I can't handle anymore tho, the past 6 years I'd like to forego, I've hit a new low, and I don't know if I'll ever again be like the old Joe!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/26/24

Remembering The Blessing Of Being Present With Intention

Lately occasionally I emotionally freak out, I don't normally speak on how much I really bout, with the amount of concentrated grief, once mom has deceased, I become a siblingless orphan, and won't know the length of mourning, it'll take to get back to my true self, not even an inheritance can help, I feel like I simply blinked, and everything changed including the way I think, it's hard to keep giving gratitude and grace, my feelings are written all over my face, I'm over life, with all its plight and strife, I need a knife to cut the tension, hope I'll at least get an honorable mention, for my incredible level of resiliency, I've gotten so used to living with a contingency, but now I'm going on offense with intention, remembering just being present is a gifted blessing, never ever give up, cuz next after authenticity the highest vibration is love!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/25/24

Can Man Understand God's Plan

As life goes on another day, I try to find my way, thru all the chaos and grief, I have this unwavering faith/belief, it's all going according to plan, maybe humans aren't meant to understand, u know the bigger picture, just when u think certain people are staples or fixtures, God calls upon them, causing shock and astonishment, even if ur prepared for the worst, there's no way to determine how ull feel when ur bubble's burst, and everything immediately changes, may seem weird but I connect better with strangers, they see me without the baggage, and I'm not judged for my bad habits, like I'm a brand new clean blank slate, still torn between free will or fate, am I the passenger or the driver, does true power come from within or someplace higher?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/24/24

Believe In The Resilency Of Humanity

Don't miss out on blessings, protecting a lesson, accountability is the answer, I wonder if neglect or internalizing causes cancer, show urself the love, ur so easily giving up, yes we all make choices, most won't listen to voices, even their own, u can usually get a hint of context by the tone, that's why communicating via text, is probably not the best, cut off contact to the toxicity, life is beautiful and full of possibilities, remain open, faithful always hoping, things will work out, even when we don't know how, just gotta believe, in the resiliency of humanity, right when they seem down for the count, something happens to turn shit right around, never achieving perfection, instead of diversity find and focus on intersection, we are more alike than not, should've learned from T2 not to trust AI and robots!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/23/24

Delving Deep Into The Overwhelming

Life's been delving, deep into the overwhelming, and I ain't helming the ship, sometimes all this pain and grief doesn't feel like a gift, losing the strength to uplift and give grace, especially to both my remaining old family and the gays, nobody's showing up for me, the way I want or need, but I'm desperately longing, to feel seen and belonging, I'm so unimportant I'm practically a ghost, mostly cuz I don't brag nor boast, but unlike a narcissist instead, I toast everyone's success, I'd rather collab than compete, competitive yet can graciously accept defeat, now I know tho it's pretty rigged, this elaborate illusion has got me pissed, my rose colored glasses are gone, and the twilight zone is the new norm, my grounding roots have died, I guess I'm supposed to be happy to finally fly, however no matter how hard I try, I can't lie I'm not actually glad to be alive!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/22/24

What The World Hurled

So much pain and sadness in the world, sometimes I'm dumbfounded by all the shit the universe hurled, it's kinda crazy, why do y'all think I stay hazy, life's easier to take, quite simply baked, like almost always, don't blend in well with the gays, but that's alright, like Tina sang "I Don't Wanna Fight", trying to use my magic and light to heal, teach others to use art to share how they feel, it's my literal saving grace, everything's pretty much preference and taste, shouldn't take that personal, u perform like in rehearsal, it took me at least 10000 hours, to explore learn and embrace my best potential/power, since good things take time, to be epic I'm refining rhymes since 2009, which is when I wrote my first rap song, now I'm about to take Audible by storm, plus podcasting and more live performing/touring, exploring nonconforming the boring mentality of mourning mornings, groundhog day style, it's so wild I just nod with a chucklish giggily smile for a lil while, try to be grateful, instead of bitter and hateful, move on by keep living, and remembering to make sure ur not taking more than giving!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

6/19/24

Scratch That Comeback

I hate being othered, but I shudder to utter, how does gay marriage and trans rights relate, except make straights mistake correlate or conflate a drag act as a gateway, to play God, most kids get indoctrinatedly gendered into who they are, is it immoral ignorant or simply wrong, breaking with sexual societal norms, esp when there's already a glitch in the matrix, ai is faceless, and can't actually create from scratch, authenticity and live performance should have a reroaring Renaissance-like comeback, let originality and raw talent thrive, since artists have always been the revolutionaries throughout time dedicating their lives, inspiring and spreading truth giving power to the people, fighting for the greater good instead of evil, but what if love doesn't in fact conquer all, do y'all think civilization as we know it could actually finally fatally fall?

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/17/24

No PC Speak Freak

Stay strong and positive, don't compete for who the calmest is, I'm not afraid to freak, no politically correct speak, just raw directness, I hate overprotectiveness, but I'm the baby, was always told no more than maybe, made me resilient, sometimes I feel creatively brilliant, yet remain humble and kind, try to pay no mind, instead give gratitude and grace, love can never be a waste, where does it go tho, I'm such a bromo, socially asexual very demi, we can totally disagree and not be ur enemy, watch out for ur energy, and most importantly mindfully focus on ur life's legacy, cuz that u can control, with everything that has happened I'm back to being an old soul, fighting for the greater good, becoming better ok with being grown much wiser and still misunderstood!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/10/24

How To Bout Burnt Out

Burnt out, cuz I never learned how to bout, didn't think I'd be begging for unity, from my supposed community, it's enormous, the amount of neglect towards original live performers, we deserve to be paid, not fundraise our talent away, stop exploiting us, disappoint much, I don't compete with drag, instead of the n word I say fag, and fatherfucker, I'm a great friend and lover, y'all are lucky to have me, wish we could actually grasp peace, with better communication and understanding, ur short attention spanned fans are too demanding, quick to criticize and judge, thinking it's either illuminati or nepoed luck, underestimating my hard work, saying I'm a lazy spoiled stoner jerk, constantly claiming, I'm hating and defaming, when I'm sticking up for myself, y'all need professional help, expect me to accept u where ur at, I don't pretend to have ur back, that is who I am, not a scam, still never fully seen, often laughed at sharing my dream, yet u don't even have one, I take life and art very seriously not just for fun hun!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/5/24

Thrive This Pride

This year's theme for Pride is "Thrive", often wonder if I feel lucky to be alive, since outside our comfortable bubbles, it's the same old troubles scuffles and struggles, and I'm not trying to be pessimistic or negative, speaking truth is imperative, but how do u cut through all the noise, remain stoically strong and poised, when we forget and neglect empathy and compassion, it's time for the truly talented to take action, every queen needs a leather daddy/rap king, the greater good needs to prevail again and win, my sexuality is not my identity, being an original artist is not something I only pretend to be, I'm the genuinely authentic real deal, in a community full of hurt people I'm here to heal, using my art to welcome whoever u are, reflecting both my raw hip hop soul/blackheart, how do I make everyone feel their safest, in any and all places and spaces, breaking boundaries by building bridges, let's be consciously aware that homosexuality has always existed and isn't a choice nor illness, we've come a long long way tho so let's appreciate where we're at too, no more settling for tolerance cuz anything less than acceptance is disrespectfully uncool, let's at least mindfully try to better strive, in letting go of ego I hope we learn how to finally thrive this pride!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/4/24

All Bark No Bite Right

Sorry but I don't fuck friends, what kind of message does that send, draw more boundary lines, these God damn confounded times, so much corruption, it's absolutely disgusting, both macro and micro, I feel psycho, in upside down backwards land, covid messed with supply and demand, I'll never understand consumers, ready to move past the boomers, they just suck at giving up power and greed, the amount of insatiable hoarding is hard to believe, the state of democracy, can be summed up in one word...hypocrisy, the rich rule, sheeple/fools, perhaps the matrix is broken, the fires don't need stoking, inflation needs to cool off, it's rude to cough, without covering ur mouth, I hate being controlled by fear or doubt, but good isn't standing up to fight for what's right, at the end of the night y'all are all bark no bite!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/31/24

At Least I Tried To Vibe & Say Hi

It's all about the vibe, initiate a conversation and simply say hi, especially as the beta sub, I swear I've never felt a part of the gaggle/gay club, but I won't change myself to conform, to what's labeled stereotypically norm, I broke the mold, another beautiful old soul, looking for chemistry and connection, living with more intention, regarding my time and energy, I'm sorry y'all can't see with me I'm epically legendary, like I said before it's ur loss, how much does character or ur dignity cost, mine's not for sale, super mindful of icons I hail, in fact I'd say inspired by more than worshipping, most don't think artistry is working, told to shut up, cuz fuck talent fame is all just luck, and who u know, nobody cares about poetic lyrical flow, they want a dope beat, but I won't be, compromising my integrity, selling sex isn't necessary, I'll keep sharpening my skills, until success is manifested and willed, I've got an insatiable drive, so when all's said and done nobody can say I didn't resiliently hustle strive and at least tried!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/29/24

Do 42

Officially 42, more focused on what I wanna do, for the rest of my life, which is spread love and light, speak consciousness and truth, many people's passion and purpose are aloof, and that's totally ok, I always say my superpower's being gay, it really does get better, especially if ur a go getter, be a trend setter, approach each day as trial by error, u find what works right, by figuring out that which u don't like, but I'm not gonna lie, confronting fear ego and pride, often gets the best of us, growing nuts and guts, takes tremendous bravery maybe even ignorance, I hope y'all are ready to confront a bunch of hypocrites, zombies vampires and sheep, who need to see in order to believe, can't understand how they breathe, won't sow yet expect to reap, honestly I'd say I learned not to help, cuz no good deed goes unpunished and the only one who u can fix save or change is urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/27/24

Nepotism/Sheer Dumb Luck Just Sucks

I don't know why, but having the hardest time, writing rhymes this month, it's usually not only healing but fun, helps sharpen my skills, tho my art doesn't pay all my bills, I've planted many seeds, someday they'll hopefully grow like weeds, would like to get double digits, life throws many curve balls pivots and divots, just to fuck with us, cuz success takes drive nuts and guts, but never underestimate a pussy, they too can be quite dominant alpha and pushy, messing with cubs ull feel the wrath of their mama bears, the patriarchy has no empathy and simply doesn't care, they def don't wanna hear about ur emotions and feelings, I can't break past these gatekeeped glass ceilings, I'm drained and exhausted, look at the talentless fortune and fame whores y'all consumers exalted, ur role models suck, replacing passionate substance with nepotism/sheer dumb luck!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/22/24

Mr. Nice Guy's Died

Mr. nice guy's died along with my mom, I now give 0 fucks/no qualms, of saying what I want and need directly to people, this idea we should get therapy is both neglectful yet capitalistically evil, follow my lead, communicate directly, I'm so over it, done shouldering shit, handle ur own business, stop being hypocrites, enough is enough, I understand real friendship and love, cuz I have and give it reciprocally, nobody can weather a storm precipitation free, since when rain falls, it touches all y'all, but of course me too, how am I perceived the fool, I can look myself in the mirror, and confidently say there's no son superior, I phoenixly rise, every single damn time, no more resentment nor regret, I can truly and honestly say I always tried and did my best!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/20/24

Yum Fun & Then Some

Had a weekend of fun, solicialized with pot booze shrooms and then some, even got a lil wild and kinky, my sneaks be extra stinky, since I wear em sockless, I'm not heartless, I won't subject others to that, esp those who have my back, on the real, don't care how u feel, man smells excite me, sniff and suck but don't bite freely, I find meditational therapy in squirming, who's putting me in bondage hurting, gently rub my cock balls feet and nipples, better yet strap me down for no mercy tickles, I need to be desensitized and just laugh, success and happiness shouldn't involve math, be more grateful for what we have, the only thing to control is how u react, never yuck another's yum, pay no mind to bums nor dumb dumbs, cuz u never know, not everybody reaps from what they sow, usually those who've worked the hardest, aren't producers or labels but in fact the starving artists!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/19/24

Just Jaded With Hatred

Turning 42, and I'm scared shitless dude, mostly cuz of the fact, that's when dad had his major heart attack, but also the age my sister died, which really turned the tide, time to grow up, over trying to find luck, perhaps it's not meant to be, preparing now for mom to leave, so I'll be the last one standing, consumers are impatiently demanding, with super short attention spans, not all friends and family are fans, I'm not being negative, it's just imperative, managing boundaries and expectations, willpower vs temptations, who will win, homosexuality may be a sin, but so is being born, there's no deadline to achieve dreams or mourn, a loss is a loss, the real cost, is the grace we don't give ourself, there shouldn't be shame attached to help, tho I'm getting older, I don't wanna become numb and colder, bitter or jaded, it's so sad how where there was love all that's left is resentment and hatred!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/17/24

Fuck The Queens' Misandry

How can u say u have pride, yet hide behind a disguise, I have more respect for mimes and clowns, super sick of all the misandry I've experienced til now, queens hoarding the attention, queer live performers don't even get honorable mention, let alone paid opportunities real support and reciprocity of love, y'all need to grow the fuck up, elevate and transcend, eradicate toxicity and try to achieve enlightenment, cuz ur acting like bottom feeders, moochers whores and leeches, I've lost respect for ur lack of character and dignity, choosing coin over community is not only silly, it's hurtful and hypocritical, no wonder why so many are bitter and cynical, drag is for talentless self proclaimed royalty, who apparently have no honor or loyalty, hurt people perpetuating trauma, used to play nice but quite simply I don't wanna, y'all burned bridges expecting a rescue boat, enjoy ur castled tables protected by deadbolted doors barred windows and a moat, lay in ur delusional illusions, with what ur choosing u miss what ur losing, me, too bad hindsight is 20/20, we're way passed that, #facts, it's 2024, and I won't tolerate this bullshit anymore!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/3/24

Teaching Y'all To Truly See MCJC

Call me the original lyrical leather daddy king who can rap and sing live...showing another more enlightened inclusive side to Pride without a disguise...open ur eyes to realize and truly see...how fashionably fabulous MCJC can actually be visually...we gay men need masculinity visibility too...the way I've been treated has been disrespectfully rude and just abusively cruel...so watch as I move in silence quiet...help bring revolutionary activism back to our culture with a soulful poetic hip hop block party/riot...all in the name of unconditional truth consciousness and love...cuz no matter what anyone says or thinks I am both valuable and enough...no hate or shade but drag queens aren't my competition...I'm so done trying to justify my worth to those who can't understand or won't even listen!

Peace and 1,
MCJC
5/2/24

Just Wanna Give Up & Quit Today

Where did my love and hopeful optimism go, are all gay men just hoes, I need intimacy and romance, I hate this digital dance, we're pretty disconnected, none of these presidential candidates should be elected, they are simply too old, been around since the dollar was backed by gold, now it's bullshit, I wish I could quit, life has gotten so unenjoyable, I guess I'm unemployable, nobody seems to want me, even when I beg and plead, another forgotten promise, why be humble modest and honest, evil has take over, I can't carry any more weight on my shoulders, fuck karma and luck, it's one of those days I just wanna give up!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/30/24

Opinion's Ignorance Blissfulness Business

Almost at the end of April, I'm over here wondering if I'm datable, I've been out the game for a while, duped y'all with a smile, I'm still pretty depressed, between grief and regrets, but I believe in better, we just gotta do it together, humans are social creatures, wish ud dig deeper than superficial features, there's so much about me, y'all simply can't see, I don't even, I bet u wanna know what I'm fiending, it's pretty perverted and kinky, warmer weather means men getting stinky, especially pits and feet, wiggling toes makes me weak, but that's not something I speak about, many disgustingly look at me how, please don't yuck my yum, perhaps before u judge something at least try it once, folks like different strokes, be careful ur character doesn't become taboo or a hoax, my reputation is none of my business, when it comes to opinions ignorance is blissfulness!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/29/24

Causing Commotion Spewing Conscious Thoughts & Emotions

Never hating, I'm just saying, spewing conscious thoughts and emotions, not thinking about consequences or commotion, caused by me, so awkwardly, my boundary now's taking the blame, I'm done playing games, I must vibrate differently, how does one become acclaimed critically, haven't hit yet I guess, in many other ways some say too blessed, whatever that means, nobody and nothing is what they seem, who I be, sexuality isn't my identity, let alone seeing me rap on stage, I'm not a stereotype nor is this another phase, I'm like a fine wine getting better with age, love squirming but not in a cage, that's a mind fuck, a microcosm of feeling being stuck, dependant externally, success isn't always commercially, nor perfectly achieved, there's no deadlines to dreams, resilience is key, blaze ahead full steam, please keep going and growing, remembering tho absolutely no one's all knowing!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/26/24

Global Genohomisuicide

It's easy to die, but hard to stay alive, look into loved one's eyes, before u say goodbye, instead of leaving us wondering why, or what we could've done right, wish u would've let me help u fight, cuz the most difficult part is at night, yet somehow I remember moonlight still shines bright, even the blind have sight, tho it's only hind, wish it paid to be kind, friendship is the best choice and consequence we can ultimately find, with our powers combined, captain planet could become personified, but just like the internet TV lies, with the release of ai, our capitalistic soul's been both duped and bribed, is human gooning consuming by design, and now it seems original artistry has died, which I've defined as a glabal genohomisuicide, slowly happening over time, justice doesn't exist nor accountability for committing crimes, cuz nowadays u can do what Trump did raise and pay a trillion dimes, when I don't even make shit for my decades of consistent creative rhymes, making less than a cent per spin/listen on YouTube Pandora Apple and Spotify, while lip synching drag queens holograms and bots overclog spots for my chance to perform live, how do I finally wake up and realize, my own epically legendary legacy is the real prize, so simply surrender to the faith of fate and try to stay resilient enjoying the ride!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/23/24

It's 4/20 Hunny

Another 4/20 huny, in about an hour it'll finally be sunny, wish I had a show to perform at, this required need to conform's whack, America is not a corporation nor its military, policing the world isn't necessary, that's the UN's job, all this war is alot, covid did more damage than we thought, at the end of the day most people can be bought, I wasn't taught being raised right, everybody's going thru tons of struggles/fights, I try to remember, humans have the capacity to know do and be better, my poetry and songs are like my life letters, speaking my truth love and consciousness, lessening the insane level of lyrical obnoxiousness, especially in pop hip hop, I just can't and won't stop til I reach the top, take the lead, show y'all what raw live true talent has the capacity to be!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/20/24

Finding Fulfilled's Still Uphill

Leaning into surrender, becoming a better pretender, internalizing so much more, than I ever have before, trying to find gratitude and grace, it's even harder to keep faith, while all hope seems false, does God hear my cries and calls, or is he sarcastically laughing, watching me get so passionately mad and, throwing another hissy fit, super antagonistic, it's just my nature, I can disagree and not hate ya, got mad love to give, might not be ready to take control of how I live, may sound silly, but mom is my ultimate responsibility, along with 2 pups, who are totally the reason I haven't given up, plus I've got big big dreams to fulfill, I know now tho the road ahead is still uphill!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/18/24

Uplift With Ur Gift

I'm still ashamed, to be gay, not all the time, but I do find, no matter what I do, to try and prove I'm cool, I feel lesser than, automatically hateful towards effeminate homo bretheran, when that's further from the truth, I envy their perseverance and strength dude, finding one's authentic self is such a gift, but now u have a responsibility to communally uplift, remember ur ultimate goal/legacy, is to keep spreading truth love and consciousness thru poetic music being epically legendary!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/15/24

Honest To Con Artists

I thought I finally found peace, but after letting go's initial release, I opened up my eyes, only to realize, I'm still a hot mess, full of grief/depressed, as I long for a former life, with less responsibility and strife, not having a dad or sis, makes me unconditionally miss, what having a family was like, having to caretake for my mom doesn't feel right, but I refuse to abandon her, I don't demand fur, nor any type of label, just cuz I've got mental health issues doesn't mean I'm disabled, most my existence I've been bastardized, for being gay white into hip hop and getting blastedly high, this is just who I am, I'm waiting on the world to change if it even can, seems to be goin in the wrong direction, wish there were real spells for protection, unfortunately there aren't any, I've learned I'm plenty friendly, sometimes at my own detriment, my poetry isn't meant to have negative sentiment, I'm simply being honest, in a world filled with nothing but con artists!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/12/24

Rooting Birds Hurts

Why do we try to root birds, it spiritually hurts, just like hope, and that continuous nope, let me fly, at least get high, cuz I'm gonna go hang, with music and Mary Jane, that's my comfort zone, learning how to make on the mic my home, really truly let go, completely naked and vulnerable, bare my soul, be willing to publically grow, all those mistakes, creates self hate, a lack of confidence or security, safety is totally behind purity, which is why I'm blessed to be so lucky, I have a ton of family friends and fans who genuinely love me, even tho they may not show up and say it, resilience is the key for anybody to make it, live with gratitude faith and grace, in an overpopulated world we all are allowed to hold space, travel any lane with whatever mate we wish, always remember that just being present is literally such a gift!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/6/24